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Class of December 09

Old 01-09-2010, 07:52 AM
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Hi Class of Dec 09, may I join in?

I'm on Day 21 today (3 weeks!), a stretch don't think I've ever made without a drink in my adult life. I feel OK, exercising my ass off and eating all those things rich in antioxidants. The insomnia is easing up a bit.

Trying to stay strong, and reading all the posts helps.

Regards...
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Stealthealer View Post
Hi Class of Dec 09, may I join in?

I'm on Day 21 today (3 weeks!), a stretch don't think I've ever made without a drink in my adult life. I feel OK, exercising my ass off and eating all those things rich in antioxidants. The insomnia is easing up a bit.

Trying to stay strong, and reading all the posts helps.

Regards...
But of course! Congrats and welcome.
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:55 AM
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Lionheart,

It does take time for the sleep patterns to become more normal. I hope you can get some rest. Good luck with your search for a sponsor.

Augustwest,

I think one of the most important parts of recovery is knowing that we are not alone in this journey.

Thirtybubba,

You are recognizing the addict voice in your mind and that is a huge step in overcoming addiction. Hear the voice, recognize it, and let it go.
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Old 01-09-2010, 08:06 AM
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Welcome stealthealer!

Anna, you're so right about not being alone on this journey, and that makes all the difference in the world. The spirit, the feeling inside the rooms, is powerful and darn near enough to sustain me. Then you add sponsor, sponsor family, friends, your own spirituality....It's almost overwhelming the beauty that is available to me by simply putting the drugs down and making a decision to try to get better one day at a time. Simply amazing.
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Old 01-09-2010, 08:16 AM
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cinglenluvnit- check your PM inbox...
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:29 AM
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Good morning, everyone! Thirty, I hear you on the mind tricks. That is how I have been every single time I have done this. This time too, except this time I have made a decision that I really AM done, so whenever those crazy thoughts start coming up I just shoot them down for the BS they are. What I WANT is the kind of life I can have if I don't keep drinking. What my "Inner Alkie" wants is to go out and binge again, because my inner alkie has no conscience that goes beyond the next fix and is powerless against her desire for alcohol.

Well, it's time to call the inner alkie on her stuff and do what works, and if that means I have to go to meetings, work the steps, keep swatting down those thoughts, and learn a new way of living, then that is what I have to do. Hang in here with us-- decide that you are done, and then keep telling yourself that when your own inner alkie starts whining. All you have to do is not drink for one day-- today.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:34 AM
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well said laura
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:07 PM
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Well said Laura.
"What I want is the kind of life I can have NOT drinking"! Amen Sister.
I feel you too Thirty...
Today was the first morning I woke up wondering if I can really do this.
----------------------------->
Okay... wrote the first part of this earlier, then took a break and did just a few minutes of yoga. Amazing! Truly amazing how much better I feel.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. I sort of quit counting but I think I'm dangerously close to the 30 day mark
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:11 PM
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that voice of addiction seems to be calling out to all of us!

this is a good thing as it shows we as really need to be doing this.
and its great we got each other to keep things in check and support each other

welcome stealthhealer! rock on!! i hope sobering up is a life changing experience for you & the rest of us.


so yeah i also had a strong moment yesterday, where my mind went through the full thought process of justifying having a drink...it first started with feeling like i was missing out of funtimes at bbqs, parties, gigs etc, & quickly evolved to memories of times recently wen i drank and it didn't end in disaster filled with barrel of larfs happy times...quickly proceeded to me entertaining the idea of planning to get some beers, when the next 'drinking' event surfaced.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

this was what i has to do... actively stop the thought in mid 'thought'
and put my mind onto something else & remember all the reasons that ive stopped drinking...it helped to have a list (mental one) I hate having to do this...the addict me fights back and makes me feel sad and fairly depressed BUT!! a couple hours later. when this 'craving' has passed...i feel really good & pleased with myself.

I think the more times we beat down this voice of addiction HARD and thoroughly the easier it'll get.

maybe?

just my 2cents

41 days sober today!

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Old 01-09-2010, 03:48 PM
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Welcome Stealthealer, sorry I missed your post earlier.

Right on ND!
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:49 PM
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Welcome Stealthealer

Well, I had a rough day--guess it's the price I pay for going out last night and having fun. Straight forgot that today was the day court classes start back up... and missed the first one, so there'll be more money to pay and time to spend getting my license back.

Drove out of here in a hurry with no wallet and come back with no gas... and nobody to call who could help me. I hate being alone in this state... although I know the AA people to call up for some things, namely, "how are you today?", I can't ask them to come get me from 40 miles away.


Anna, does this alcoholic voice go away? It's been killing me all day. I mean, I know things don't get automatically better, but it seems like things are right back where they always were--punished for enjoying myself, and can't keep track of my life. And rewarded for being crazy enough to actually drive a car about as illegally as possible and not only make the second class, but get home in time to grab some money and get to the gas station... in other words, what could have been a jail sentence, the loss of a perfectly fine vehicle, a ridiculous fine, and the inability to leave the state for an even longer period of time turned into... "I did good, and everything worked out."

And I was shaking (not used to doing crazy stuff anymore) and wanted a drink to calm my nerves, but it's all better now.

This has been a worse rollercoaster than all the other little sober periods I have had lately. Among other things, I finally have people to hang out with--and for some reason, I've put that ahead of everything common sense ought to tell me.

But I can't go back to existing all calm and careful and alone again, I just can't--one taste of "living" and I don't wanna stop.

Yeah, did I mention, I was an alcoholic?

Take care y'all,
TB, 'bout 19 days in I think
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Old 01-09-2010, 06:05 PM
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Last day drunk was 12/26/09. Not a drop since. One day at a time. I am going to meetings and getting better. Night sweats seem to be going away. I still have trouble sleeping and eating.

I wake up periodically throughout the night starting at 3-4 am no matter when I go to sleep. I often wake up with my heart racing to bad depressing thoughts, sort of in a panic. I will pick up the big book and read for a few minutes to calm down and then go back to sleep for a half hour, then repeat the process. I want that to stop ASAP. I used to sleep like a rock, even on nights I didn't drink.
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Old 01-09-2010, 08:12 PM
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Welcome NE, I think you'll find you're not alone w/ the sleeplessness/panic... they keep promising us it gets better Do you have an ipod or the like? I downloaded some apps that help w/ sleeping/mediation etc., and they have been helping when I wake in the night... if you're interested try searching the app store for binaural beats...

Goodnight all... see you tomorrow.
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Old 01-09-2010, 08:40 PM
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I am trying some melatonin tonight. I used to take it when I was much younger and it helped. I can get to sleep fine, it is the waking up at 3-4 am that sucks.
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Old 01-10-2010, 07:42 AM
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nejeeper- let me know how the melatonin works....i have tossed around the idea of trying it too
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Old 01-10-2010, 09:19 AM
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Day #22 (isn't it amazing how easy it is to remember they day?!)

Son's 3rd b'day party today. Plenty on the docket to keep my thoughts and body occupied thru bedtime. Then it's to work 7am-4pm Mon thru Wednesday, never a boring moment. Then I'll be on day #26...and figure something out for that day.

It's the idle moments that for me are the most dangerous.
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Old 01-10-2010, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
One bit of hope I feel is that many others have shared that they too didn't "get it", even after many tries. ......

at least I'm not alone.

(((hugs)))
No, not alone Least.

I'm one of those who tried...many times. Denial crept back, time after time, and I

listnened to that voice that said.."You're not one of "those people"...."you're different,

stronger, you can handle it this time!"

The thought of never drinking and using again was so frightening...it made me quickly

forget the horrors of the past.

But, we can and do recover!

Congrats to all of you for whatever time you have, don't stop trying.

And, you can't fail unless you give up.

A beautiful thread, Least...

Hugs, all.
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:29 AM
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I made 21 days. For the first time since the 80s, I have been sober for three weeks in a row.



Almost didn't make it... it was a rough day, and then the internetty problems, and then SR went down, and then... oh boy, I messed up the time I was supposed to be picked up, so my sponsor's ticked. Told me to go to another meeting, I couldn't find anybody who wasn't going to an earlier meeting...

So after a lot of frustration I'm gonna go to the store--I already messed up anyways, don't really feel like reinvesting in this AA thing again, starting all over again looking for someone to give me a ride (don't think they like me *that* much)... etc. So I'm going to the store, about to put on my boots and one of the girls from AA texts me... I thank her for her time but I'm a constant mess up... so she comes and gets me anyways and me, her and another girl go to this coffee bar a few miles down the highway.

I suppose it was funner than drinking.

But either way, I got 21 days.

Hi IO! I'm good at forgetting stuff like that too... but not stuff like why I drink. That's been a clear memory for 21 years now. Wish it was the other way around.

Take care y'all,
TB
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Old 01-11-2010, 06:46 AM
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Day 15! Hope everybody has a great one.
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Old 01-11-2010, 02:55 PM
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well done thirty!
3 weeks is awesome :hugz: you are doing so well
It seems to me that when things outside of your control dont go your way, is when you are at your weakest? maybe this is something to work on? just keep it at a day at a time & try to get help when a craving surfaces...im sure you getting plenty of advice

i dont have much to report today, slept feck all last night, due to chronic pain...sucks bigtime!! but nothing i can do but grin and bear it and hope like hell that oneday it might deminish somewhat.

at least my mind is clear & i can hold my head up walking around.

I dont care about my anonymity, in fact i want people to know im an alcoholic... because that way when im healthier, happier & better spiritually. hopefully people can join the dots and learn something...beisdes that i think most peopl in my home town know about my crazy drinking wayz, stumbling through town with a beer in each hand laughing at the world :/

so anywayz, if any of yous wanna chat or get to know me a little better
im on facebook, and would love to have sober buddies to connect with. just search for: doublenegative john (got a photo as me as a little boy for my profile pic)

bye 4 now
nd
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