Good morning, everyone! Thirty, I hear you on the mind tricks. That is how I have been every single time I have done this. This time too, except this time I have made a decision that I really AM done, so whenever those crazy thoughts start coming up I just shoot them down for the BS they are. What I WANT is the kind of life I can have if I don't keep drinking. What my "Inner Alkie" wants is to go out and binge again, because my inner alkie has no conscience that goes beyond the next fix and is powerless against her desire for alcohol.
Well, it's time to call the inner alkie on her stuff and do what works, and if that means I have to go to meetings, work the steps, keep swatting down those thoughts, and learn a new way of living, then that is what I have to do. Hang in here with us-- decide that you are done, and then keep telling yourself that when your own inner alkie starts whining. All you have to do is not drink for one day-- today.