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Old 01-13-2010, 05:57 PM
  # 241 (permalink)  
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Two weeks tonight! Wednesday nights are all the wine you can drink night at a local restaurant and my husband and I have been regulars there for several years on that night.

So, tonight I really wanted to go there and kept thinking, oh, I'll just have some wine tonight and that will be all I drink.

Yeah, right!

So, it's water for me. I think we will still go, but I'll be the designated driver. I want this two weeks. I really do!

Everyone is doing well and it's so helpful to read all the posts here. Thank you all.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:01 PM
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Congratulations on your two weeks, Laura!
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:20 PM
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Hi all,

Still sober, so busy. Hockey two or three times a night is keeping me busy and sober.:-) Good to see you all are doing well or learning from not so good. There is so much support here.

Lack of sleep and depression still haunt me at times. It is good to have a group like this to connect with and learn from.

Thank you all,


55438
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by 55438 View Post
Hi all,

Still sober, so busy. Hockey two or three times a night is keeping me busy and sober.:-) Good to see you all are doing well or learning from not so good. There is so much support here.

Lack of sleep and depression still haunt me at times. It is good to have a group like this to connect with and learn from.

Thank you all,


55438
Hello 55438, I am glad you are staying busy. I've been extremely busy at work this week, which has really helped me and kept my focus off of not drinking. I am also still having some trouble with sleep, but it seems to be getting a little better.

This is a wonderful group and a real find for us all. Thanks for being here!
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:10 PM
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Congrats Laura, Blackbird....

Welcome back all the people who tripped.

I'm still here. Still just getting through the days somehow. It's mighty boring here, at least till school starts I suppose. The internet is officially down, when I get it I get it.

Nothing in the vicinity, mostly industrial and farmland.

So I just sit here waiting for the evening when someone will pick me up to go to the meetings. This is not a fun way to spend my days, and the fight is getting harder. Nobody to talk to. Sponsor says read big book. I think I'll do that tomorrow, but I can already see where this will lead. Everyday just read big book. Heck, she told me.

So now I got a make work project that will never end.

Sorry to be depressing. I want someone to talk to. But it's late. And I don't really have a pressing issue, just lonely as all get out. As soon as the people figure out I'm not in serious jeopardy they tend to thank me for calling and tell me they'll see me on whatever day.

Just keep going I guess.

Take care.
TB
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:22 AM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by unbrokenchain View Post
Alright, so after the 3 breath watching, "I want to have a drink, cut LOOSE,
be Free etc," Looking at that thought, knowing SEEN it's a choice that's gonna
break you spiritually, soulfully, so then what do you do?

There needs to be some substitute. Nite time after work is not when I would
want to do zazen or yoga, AM yes PM no. Do you take a walk? play drums?

I think there needs to be a substitute. As the chinese say, if the "old don't go the new can't come" well the old ways are gone, now what are the new ways? of enjoying and being free of the overactive mind, (AT NITE).

I've got AM whipped.
Have you tried zazen in the evening? I do it twice a day, well vipassana, not zazen, but you know what i mean...I find that it really relaxes me and reinforces the daily presence through the pause/breathe/let go practice. Just my experience and i don't always do it but i try to.

Other thigns that work for me in the evening: exercise is a big one. I also play my guitar. And play chess or xbox. I try to keep myself busy, so i'll get in a workout, eat, catch a NA meeting, chat with clean friends afterwards...but the time i get home it's vipassana, then reading/chess/guitar till bed. During the week i mostly rock the exercise>dinner>meeting>vipassana>read>sleep jam. I have to get up early in the am so i keep it mellow at night.

On weekends i'll play more:guitar, chess, etc...hang with friends. The key for me is just keeping busy for the most part.


So today is day 18 for me! w00t! Hope everyone has a great day!
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted by blackbirdsing View Post
It just occurred to me I am 30 days sober today. Rather than celebratory that realization makes me feel peaceful, dare I say the tiniest smidge of serenity is creeping in?
I think I might just be due for a little pampering today, I see a bubblebath in my near future

Big thanks to all of you!


Congrats on your 30 days!
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by lostmyway View Post
Just an update...I'm still in the December class, but my date is the 28th, not the 9th as it had been originally...thanks to a little relapse I had after Christmas shopping with my mother in law
Hey, the 28th is my clean date too! Congrats on getting back with it without being out there for too long!
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:02 AM
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Still sober from alcohol and almost done weaning off the ativan. No problems so far and I'll be glad to be off that drug. It's a killer. One more week and I'll be totally clean!
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:51 AM
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Congratulations to all of you!

Great discussion on breathing and letting go. I'm having major anxiety now. The last two weeks, I was depressed. The anxiety is coming from the problems that I tried to escape by drinking. The problems are still there. They are large, scary and in my face now. I'm overwhelmed but not paralyzed. Just moving too slow for what needs to be done. I can't think straight. I'm all scattered. I know that exercise will help, if I can just get up and do it.

39 days for me so far. I haven't even considering drinking in the past few days. I'm mad at alcohol. Hate this precarious state I'm in. It just held my hand and walked me to the edge. We are so over. Of course, I'm really angry at myself. They say that anger covers up deeper pain so I will have to work to get to that. For now, I will try more exercise and see if that puts me in a better place.

It's very helpful to read everyone's posts. Thank you.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:55 AM
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Hey, Sober Day 26, checking in...

Off work, it's the slow days that used to get me...but no cravings today (for alcohol, LOL).

I was wondering-

What days post-sobriety are the traditional relapse days...i.e. when does the alcoholic typically stumble? Days 2-5 I can understand from the physical discomfort, but when after that? A counselor once told me Day 40ish is a bad relapse day.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:00 AM
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I dunno about traditional, from reading here a lot, I notice 30, 45, 100 are popular.

Me I could never make it past 20... so it's different for each one I imagine.

Also, days with significance seem to have a higher rate of relapse.

This is by no means a professional evaluation haha.


Hi y'all, I got 24 days now. Yes, that's four past my previous best. I'm sailing in uncharted waters, and I don't even know how to sail... I'm just bold and reckless sometimes, for better or for worse.

It's insane that we drink when we don't necessarily like it, and a sober night is usually better than a drunken one in retrospect--but most of my days lately have been filled with panicky thoughts. I can't give up the one familiar thing in my life... I won't do this anyways why delay the inevitable... I got nothing to do and nobody to talk to (I live in quite an isolated area for the next couple weeks)... Why am I doing this anyways.

So quickly I forget how it was.

Take care,
TB
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:12 PM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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Well, I'm up to day 18 today. I too find it helpful to stay busy. I love my job (full time), so there's no problem there...heck, now I can even get up in the morning to get there on time, and I never have to call out because I'm too hungover. At night it's home to spend time with the kids, except on Wednesday nights there is a meeting I absolutely MUST go to with the best, most supportive group of women I have ever met. Oh, and on Monday nights I always claim the TV from 9-10 so I can watch Intervention as a reminder to myself that I never want my life to be like that again. After I give the kids their baths, I get them to bed, do some light housework and settle into bed to do a little journaling or reading.

I wish I had time to do something creative, like scrapbooking or painting to really get my mind off things, but having a 3 year old and a 3 month old to care for doesn't really lend itself well to those things. I feel a little robbed of personal time but I guess that's selfish of me to say.

I have to get back to the doctor next week to discuss my progress. I am nervous about that appointment, nervous that he is going to start weaning me off my Librium. I know I won't have detoxing issues anymore but it has helped tremendously with my anxiety. I'm just so glad that the plan we set up is working that I don't want to change it...like changing it may make me want to pick up again or something. I don't know. It's probably a silly fear but I still worry.
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:03 PM
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Well, day 18 is coming to an end and it was a good one. I'm so grateful to be clean another day. Amazing really, considering how bad off i was...

Good night all.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:29 PM
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24 days locked in, 1 on the bubble... I'm doing alright.

But my brain isn't. This is the 3rd time in a few days I forgot something major (heck I don't do anything these days--how hard can anything be to remember). I forgot my aunt was coming into town to check up on me... so she called at the gate, I ran out and had to miss the meeting. She mostly just yelled at me for being weak, acting weak, heck I don't really know. But I texted my sponsor, she said to go to a meeting where I was... when I even suggested being dropped off at a meeting, well I wish I hadn't suggested it.

Who knows. And of course, now I've gotten a healthy dose of the opposite of what I've been hearing lately, and a whole empty day to digest it. I am feeling... you know I don't know how to finish that sentence.

Take care y'all.
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:56 AM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Hang in there bubba...its the hard days that make us appreciate the good ones!

I had a rough day yesterday (Day 26) and I tried to make it rough "moments" but they merged pretty well into the whole day - today however, was one of the best Ive had since starting! Couldnt have been clearer if I tried!

1st attempt at being sober and clean and im working it all...im going to as many meetings as i can that also allow me to keep somewhat of a normal life and continue with other commitments as well and i am really enjoying sharing. I get nervous every time BEFORE they ask me and once they do i am at ease and off i go - talking for ages, its such a great feeling once i am done and it really does feel good seeing others nod in agreement of my journey and story and also helps because people come up to me after the meeting to talk - it really helps the conversations since i am not too good at that yet.

Take care all - LH checking in and now out - its midnight here in oz...
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:19 AM
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Day 27...feels alot like day 26.

Off work again...and alone for the next four hours....this is when I used to get home chores done....with a few in me for "smoothness." Now, instead of having a few post-running vodka shots, I turn to this board, still my only source of catharsis.

There is almost nothing in my life I haven't done drunk- that includes driving, work, sex, exercise, holding meetings, giving lectures. Effin' wow.

I hope everyone has a strong day.
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Old 01-15-2010, 10:59 AM
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25.


Yeah, I've been thinking about that self-preservation thing too, lately... I don't have it.

I think I inherited it, my mother didn't take care of her children... not good for the species, either.


TB
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Old 01-15-2010, 11:35 AM
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Hi everyone,

(((TB))) Day 25 sober, a new high for you. I think there might be a smidge of self preservation in you. Every day sober = a little more.

Day 37 over here in the tundra.

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Old 01-15-2010, 01:26 PM
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congrats to everyone being on track still........i am on day 19 and today was the hardest day so far.....if it had not been for my brother needing me to give a ride to some places today i am sure i would have slipped......while we were out i took my blood pressure and it was down from 151/91 to 130/77........that is great since the dr was thinking about putting me on meds when i go back in a week..........it gave me the motivation i needed to keep going.........*whew* that was a close one

Thanks for sharing your successes as they help keep me going
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