noubledegative

day 46!

yeah my health is def improving...got alot of color back in my face, brighter eyes etc. def a motivating factor to keep on going. im exercising a bit, doing qi gong & got a pretty strict diet going on...all helping i think

was friday last night & went to the movies with my gf. was nice doing something simple and fun, went to see sherlock homes...to not plan the eve around where & what i was gonna drink was a load off.

and of course waking up this morning feeling refreshed & happy

hang in there guys

Anna

Cingle, that is great news about your blood pressure. I am sure your health will continue to improve.

Good for you ND for getting out and enjoying yourself!

Lenina

TB,

For me, the Addictive Voice just had a louder self-preservation thing! I had to learn to ignore it. Now MY self-preservation voice is the louder one! Hang in there!

Much love,

Lenina

augustwest

Sup gang? Well i made it through day 19, barely. Funny you mentioned today, day 19 for you too cinglenluvinit as being hard. I had my share of challenges. My computer at work got a virus this am, infiltrating the entire offices system and basically bringing the business i manage to a halt. Still haven't fixed the problem. For a minute there, when the stress kicked in i was ready to run for the hills and find the dopeman. But i took some breaths and hit a noon meeting instead. whew...

I got tied up with my tech guy getting the problem worked on and ended up missing my evening meeting. No biggie, so i went to my favorite indian restaurant for dinner, alone. Haven't been there in a couple months and i'm a regular, so when i walk in everybody's like "hey!" and the manager brings me some sort of mango rum drink without my ordering and sits it front of me, saying "this is on me. good to see you again."

My eyes lit up. I could taste that ish. I almost reached for it. Then i paused. 1-2-3, OK i don't want this. I know what'll happen if i drink this. But the guy gave it to you John. YOu don't want to offend him. Drink it. NO. DO IT! NO. It's just one, nobody will know. But i'll have to pick up a white chip and start over, telling everyone. You don't have to tell anybody. Yes I DO. And so on and so forth....

After a couple minutes of this nonsense i motioned the guy over and thanked him but told him i'd quit drinking. Funny enough, he said "good for you". I've been trying to quit but i can't. That's awesome!" HaHa. Hard to believe now that my dumas was close to drinking just to not offend some acquintance who's name i don't even know. But i didn't and i feel great about that. Stronger and more steadfast in my new life.

Thanks for letting me share...

Congrats to all for another day clean!

Namaste

Stealthealer

Day #28....wouldn't this be the day I'd be getting out of inpatient rehab? Isn't there a movie entitiled 28 Days? Huh.

There is a new motivation for me to stay sober- I *may* be going to Haiti in three weeks on a relief mission. Certainly a reason not to fall off the wagon.

Let's think about what is going on in that despondent country....kinda puts our self-absorbed mini-problems in perspective, eh?

noubledegative

Im going a little stir crazy waiting till im strong enough to beable to got to see Djs, Bands & other events where alcohol is being consumed. I know a period of just staying away from these events is wise. for me its about giving myself self time to heal & learn to enjoy life sober...apparently it comes! but not yet for me, im just a bit bored of not really doing anything & feeling like life is passing me by while i "recover" im gratefull i have my GF to be by my side while i do this. but im not a homebody & cant wait to get my teeth into some really interesting 'living'

oh well, i can handle watching another handle full of dvds and i am getting out exercising a bit (on my own mostly) which is something.

wiping the drinking 'paint' of the canvas of my life is making the old picture look a little boring...my life is a bit lame really what was i up to!! cant belive ive been blocking everything out with getting blotto for so long. kinda like waking from a dream where you cant really remember what even happened. just fragments of random stuff.

with the 'picture metaphor' im employing, i just need to keep reminding myself that i can paint the new picture in a much richer bolder colours & may even finish the drawing (WOW!) hell i could get all photoshop crazy on it & go 3d glasses or something.

but for now ill just wait and heal...patience john patience

lionheart

Its my Day 28 now and for the past 2 days I have had good ones. 2 days good, in a row, I hadnt had that while sober so it feels fantastic. Today is today and about to see how it goes.

Hope everyone is still doing well.
LH

thirtybubba

Yeah Stealth, there is such a movie... saw it in my court-ordered DUI class.


I'm 26 days sober now. And been kept busy busy busy lately... sponsor's suggestions.


TB

Stealthealer

Thirtybubba, unbrokenchain, lionheart, augustwest, doubleneg, the rest of the Dec '09 clan- I do take comfort in your posts...keep up the good work & fighting the good fight! I know I tend come off as callous sometimes but I'm not sure my personality jives with the whole "I'm a broken disease victim" concept. But please understand I have no formal or informal training in how alcoholics are supposed to feel about themselves (I'd bettter pick up a copy of The Alcoholic's Field Guide to self-flagellation and -pity LOL)

Unbroken- was The Road any good? I have a thing for post-apocalyptic movies (old fan of The Road Warrior, looking forward to The Book of Eli).

Day #29. Yawn. Rainy Sunday. You all occupy my thoughts. :thumbs-up:

thirtybubba

Heh, Stealth.... I'm not a broken victim of a disease... I'm trying to pick up the pieces of what I done broke (ie, myself).

If going along with calling it a disease allows people to not argue with me long enough to say things that might be useful... ok.

You won't hear me say it though. I just don't argue with it.

I'm sick of arguing. I want solutions.


Take care y'all, wish me luck with my step thing (I do that today).
TB

cinglenluvnit

today will mark 3 weeks.....boy that went fast......happy to hear everyone is still on track.......

oh and change of subject.....big playoff game today.....watching it drink free will be a change....GO CHARGERS

thirtybubba

When I open this page, I get to see that top post... and it's weird, I don't feel that way at all anymore. I've been mighty busy these last couple days, kinda like back in the day (early day... not those last few years all alone), just up and go, crash where I crash (admittedly I don't have any real urgent responsibilities these days until school starts back up). I like it. And it's rejuvenated me, I feel alive, and more able to do the basic things... and a few more complicated things. I've been navigating, alone and with my sponsor, all over this county and the next two, with only the occasional problem--and those are easily surmountable. Nothing looks that big.

Not to say it's been all clear... I've been having doubts about my ability to pull this off, but the day to day has become easier and as long as I'm busy... no time to drink. Sure, I could sneak or something, but I think this is what I wanted all along--to just be part of life. So even I, who can come up with all sorts of reasons a day might go better with alcohol, have to admit there is no good one right now.

Take care y'all,
TB


ps. Unbroken, yeah it does feel better to write things out... and I think you make a lot of sense with your analogy and where you took it.

LauraS

Sounds very good, TB

thirtybubba

Thank you, Laura.

And all y'all... couldn't do this alone. Well, who knows, I might could. I surely wouldn't bother to try... so we'd never know.


TB

Stealthealer

Day #30...isn't this supposed to be AA chip day or something? Gold coin? Button with a booze bottle and the standard red-circle-slash over it?

I'd really like to have a stack of red chips; come to think of it, green, black, and yellow chips....on green felt. But that's an issue for another time.

Cheers to all you month-ers!

Stealthealer

I did, and trust me, it wasn't that hard.

least

STill sober and off the ativan now with no problems. Today is a VERY BAD DAY for me: the brakes went out on the car and there's no money for repairs... BUT I won't drink over it.

augustwest

I hope everyone had a great day today. Day 22 for me, and it was a good one. Amazingly i've only had one situation where i've wanted to use and that was when a drink was placed in front of my face in a restaurant. I'm grateful for this and enjoying it because it probably won't stay this way.

So what did everyone do for their recovery today?

augustwest

Life without all the buffers is the ultimate trip ain't it?

blackbirdsing

Congrats All...
Hanging in with a sick kid, not a very fun weekend but let me just say that I have never been more grateful to be sober than I was the other morning when my daughter got sick on my pillow at five AM. Sorry TMI But I am a much better, more patient and understanding parent these days, esp. when it comes to those little stressful surprises.
Proud of all of us, stay strong.
Sarah