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Class of November 2015 Part 4

Old 11-28-2015, 03:52 AM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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welcome Enfin

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Old 11-28-2015, 04:50 AM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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I'm Back: A Common Story
I have decided to give this another go. While I didn't necessarily hit "rock bottom", I'm just sick and tired of habitually binge drinking a lot every week. My most recent session was the night before Thanksgiving. I was all set to make my yearly awesome side dish. I was a little nervous about Thanksgiving because of this terrible drunken rant did against my relative back in July. This sparked my sobriety for at least 30 days but I went back to my old ways soon afterwards. Eventually I started talking to my relative again but we hadn't seen each other so I knew it would be awkward. So for some stupid reason, I decided to go out and by a 12 pack and intended to only have 3 drinks at the most to relax myself. Unfortunately that never happened and I ended up waking up Thanksgiving at around noon. I realized as soon as I woke up that I should have been up at 7AM cooking. I quickly panicked and started making my dish for the family get together. Nobody really suspected a thing, I just told them I would be an hour late because I "overslept". However during the Thanksgiving get together, I was a little shaky and tired. I don't think I ever got any real sleep so I was running on no energy. I didn't have much of an appetite and while I was friendly and talkative I was secretly feeling miserable and hungover. I started shivering and said I was really cold. In truth, it was cold outside but I think my body was incredibly hypersensitive. Overall, the whole cover went well and my family members wanted me to see them more often and were super impressed with my meals I made for them. When I got home, I laid down had lots of water. I couldn't immediately go to sleep. It's hard to explain. It was as if I had too much caffeine but I didn't touch any caffeine that day. My body was jumpy and all over the place. I decided to just relax in bed, drink lots of water and watch some movies until I finally did get sleepy. Then I slept most of friday until around 3:30PM(I had a day off work). I woke up got cleaned up and told myself I just can't do this to myself anymore. So I'm going to try to stay sober one day at a time again and see how far it goes. I'm not physically dependent in the sense that I go through days of severe withdrawals, but I'm habitually addicted where as soon as something good happens to me, I want to reward myself with drinks. However I do have really bad hangovers as I described above and I need about two days of recovery. As long as I check in here everyday, it seems to help very much. I might try here for a few days and then jump into Class of December as well. Who knows, if this class is incredibly helpful and supportive, I'll definitely stick around here.
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:14 AM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I am back after the worst time ever. PLease let me join you. PLease let it work this time... I wouldn't screw up without alcohol.... I need to stop.
Welcome enfin! We are so glad you are here. We have a great class who all really support each other. We are all fighting this battle "together" so we are much stronger!

Please post & check in often! Heck I had 4 massive cravings yesterday (it was a hard day) and got through all of them by posting (35+ times! Haha) and reading other classmate's posts.

Hang in there!
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:17 AM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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welcome back SCF

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Old 11-28-2015, 05:23 AM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SilentCinemaFan View Post
I'm Back: A Common Story I have decided to give this another go. While I didn't necessarily hit "rock bottom", I'm just sick and tired of habitually binge drinking a lot every week. My most recent session was the night before Thanksgiving. I was all set to make my yearly awesome side dish. I was a little nervous about Thanksgiving because of this terrible drunken rant did against my relative back in July. This sparked my sobriety for at least 30 days but I went back to my old ways soon afterwards. Eventually I started talking to my relative again but we hadn't seen each other so I knew it would be awkward. So for some stupid reason, I decided to go out and by a 12 pack and intended to only have 3 drinks at the most to relax myself. Unfortunately that never happened and I ended up waking up Thanksgiving at around noon. I realized as soon as I woke up that I should have been up at 7AM cooking. I quickly panicked and started making my dish for the family get together. Nobody really suspected a thing, I just told them I would be an hour late because I "overslept". However during the Thanksgiving get together, I was a little shaky and tired. I don't think I ever got any real sleep so I was running on no energy. I didn't have much of an appetite and while I was friendly and talkative I was secretly feeling miserable and hungover. I started shivering and said I was really cold. In truth, it was cold outside but I think my body was incredibly hypersensitive. Overall, the whole cover went well and my family members wanted me to see them more often and were super impressed with my meals I made for them. When I got home, I laid down had lots of water. I couldn't immediately go to sleep. It's hard to explain. It was as if I had too much caffeine but I didn't touch any caffeine that day. My body was jumpy and all over the place. I decided to just relax in bed, drink lots of water and watch some movies until I finally did get sleepy. Then I slept most of friday until around 3:30PM(I had a day off work). I woke up got cleaned up and told myself I just can't do this to myself anymore. So I'm going to try to stay sober one day at a time again and see how far it goes. I'm not physically dependent in the sense that I go through days of severe withdrawals, but I'm habitually addicted where as soon as something good happens to me, I want to reward myself with drinks. However I do have really bad hangovers as I described above and I need about two days of recovery. As long as I check in here everyday, it seems to help very much. I might try here for a few days and then jump into Class of December as well. Who knows, if this class is incredibly helpful and supportive, I'll definitely stick around here.
Welcome SilentCinemaFan! Your story sounds extremely familiar. I was there 13 days ago. What a difference 13 days makes. I love our November class & think you will too. We are here if you need us! :-)
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:24 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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Good morning, Buenos días, Bonjour, Guten Morgen, Buongiorno....It's SATURDAY 11/28/15!!!!
:-) Welcome Enfinthechange & SilentCinemaFan to the class! :-)

*****NOTE*****
Some people don't like to count days. If anyone wants me to take them off this list or just put something generic like Jsbodhi has below, no problem!!! OH and send me a PRIVATE MESSAGE if I need to change anything. :-)

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

Gifford -22 days
Canguy -20 days
HealthyGoals -13 days
Me (KiKi) -13 days
Patricia -? days
StrangeAngel -"working her butt off!" :-)
Pams -13 days
GoldenSands -14 days
CurlyGirl -23 days
KeepNitreal -20 days
BlackBirdFly -14 days
Noolan -9 days
SwimKim - 4 days
MeShelly -14 days
Thumbelina -29 days
Lisa247 -8 days
WalkTheLine-8 days
Supertired -14 days
Jsbodhi - "in between 30 days somewhere" :-)
Max74 -28 days
DariaM -8 days
ForeverFuzzy -9 days
BadSneakers -19 days
Jemma44 -20 days
Blondsober -6 days
Snowvelvet -24 days
GoldCoastGirl -7 days
Rivelino -7 days
TheRake -7 days
Badger257 -14 days
Odelle -7 days
Tufty13 -27 days
TryinginTexas - 14 days
Onetimeless -22 days
Dallow - 6 days
Learntofly -35 days
Faithfulandfree - 6 days
Tootsiesdad -20 days
SoberMarathon -6 days
Introspectator- 13 days
RedAndy -14 days
Jackie1214 -5 days
Neverthought - ? days
Rah555 -5 days
Alphonse -11 days
amitranjan04 -4 days
ultradad -8 days
SoulPower89 - ? days
got2stopnow -6 days
Fabat50 -21 days
Enfinthechange -1 day & the first day of a very bright future! :-)
SilentCinemaFan- welcome! You can do it! :-)

52 CLASSMATES!

*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:37 AM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Day 5 here..reading everyone's posts, almost like I am looking at my life-binges, blackouts, loss of friends, regret, etc. It's so frustrating. It perplexes me. Today I woke up grateful to be sober. Jumped a hurdle last night. My husband wanted to go back to a bar we went to last week when I had a binge/blackout episode. We met some nice people but I did not want to go back there for a variety of reasons-embarrassment, did not want to be around alcohol. I stood my ground. My husband got a bit aggravated with me. He thought I should have gone back but not drink. I felt better just going to bed. I am happy I made that decision and stood my ground. Based on people's posts it seems we all have hurdles to jump both internal and external. I think this is a complicated issue to overcome. Sometimes it seems like alcohol is everywhere. My husband has been very forgiving. My binges/blackouts don't seem to bother him much. It's difficult when it happens but shortly after its forgotten, or at least it seems that way. We can overcome this. There are plenty of people who have done it. Let's do this together!
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:50 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Day 6 checkin. Lots of good posts and similar struggles amongst us. Good that we are here instead of denying our addictions.

This time last Saturday I woke up in my hotel room, not knowing how I got there, fighting a massive hangover. I had to work that afternoon and give a seminar in front of 100s of people so I rallied, forced myself to eat something, smoked a cigarette (i only smoke when drinking heavily) and got the job done. It's not easy to pull off such performances when feeling like total crap, still residual alcohol in the veins. I've done this time and time again so in a way it's become routine but eventually it will catch up with me. When I've been sober/abstinent, my seminars are so much better, more coherent. I'm tired of playing at 80pct capacity and start playing at 100pct, all the time.

Jon Daly won 2 major golf championships while drunk. That's pretty amazing but people wonder just how many he could have won if he were sober.

The past few nights there have been documentaries on tv featuring famous people who lost their battles with drugs and alcohol, despite countless trips to rehab. There's something about seeing celebrities struggle with addiction that reminds addiction has no boundaries. Homeless on the streets, high functioning executives, and all of us fight the same battle. I'm tired of losing this damn battle. I'm done with it. I'll start counseling on Monday, taking my problem seriously and getting the help I should have gotten 3yrs ago.

Sober Saturday everyone. Look forward to reading your stories.
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:57 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
welcome Enfin

D
Thanks... I am feeling like **** still. ... only been off drink for 14 hours. ... it will take months to never to heal the **** storm I created yesterday..... am having tea and then a bath time wash away the shame! I think it's engrained into my heart though sadly. Going to seek help on Monday. ...
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:00 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone.

Welcome new members. Glad you joined us!

Waking up to day 13 sober, woohoo! Met some friends last night to listen to a friend play in a local bar, happily had my soda water and it's such a great feeling to remember the music and conversations clearly.

Lots to do today including taking down all the fall decorations (and there's a ton in this big house!) Then some cleaning to prepare for Xmas decorating. Trying to not letthe surgical hand stop m. At least the lack of a hangover helps!

Will check in later, stay sober!
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:16 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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Reading everyone's posts, when they are so excited to reach another day of sobriety, helps me so much to get through those moments when for some odd reason I miss drinking.

I still have anxiety about drinking - which is good! No AV in my head telling me to drink, just one panicking about being at a lack of control!! I am a little worried about hitting the 30 day mark and falling off the wagon, but I don't think I will. That's not like me. Celebrating 30 days sober with a drink sounds absolutely silly. I think I'll spend it decorating my house for Christmas instead. I just deposited my paycheck (note: remember I'm in school full time and work full time, so the struggle can be real), and noticed my savings account has been racking up!! I've been putting my "drinking money" into my savings. I'm saving up for....something. Something that's going to make me happy! Like a trip to Europe? I'm not sure... just something to really make all this worth it!

I had a roommate, and he was very disrespectful of my detox, bringing beer home and even drinking while I was around. Though I stayed strong, he will be gone after today! I get my house back! Redecorating - here I come!!!!


It's day 22 for me (over three weeks!!!!!) - Thanks KiKi for posting them - it makes me feel VERY good when I look at that number rising!!!!!
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:17 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SilentCinemaFan View Post
I'm Back: A Common Story
I couldn't immediately go to sleep. It's hard to explain. It was as if I had too much caffeine but I didn't touch any caffeine that day. My body was jumpy and all over the place. I decided to just relax in bed, drink lots of water and watch some movies until I finally did get sleepy. Then I slept most of friday until around 3:30PM(I had a day off work). I woke up got cleaned up and told myself I just can't do this to myself anymore. So I'm going to try to stay sober one day at a time again and see how far it goes. I'm not physically dependent in the sense that I go through days of severe withdrawals, but I'm habitually addicted where as soon as something good happens to me, I want to reward myself with drinks. However I do have really bad hangovers as I described above and I need about two days of recovery. As long as I check in here everyday, it seems to help very much. I might try here for a few days and then jump into Class of December as well. Who knows, if this class is incredibly helpful and supportive, I'll definitely stick around here.
I completely relate! And thats how i would feel when i tried to sleep or rest when completely hung over. Like there was a motor running in my body that I couldn't shut off. It was crazy. I also was not to the point where my body was dependent on it and had to go through withdrawals, so maybe it has been easier for me to quit than some others. But I was on that path and destructed plenty before I finally have had the strength to stop. I'm on my 14th day sober. Welcome! This is a great group/
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:20 AM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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Oh! I forgot to mention, I chatted with one of my Dr. friends, and he said to keep an eye out for that anxiety about drinking. It's a sign of a past addict - they have incredible anxiety about falling off the wagon. I don't like the word "addict" in this situation, but I appreciate being able to apply that theory to the "blackouts" - I have anxiety about blacking out again.

PS. One of my best friends (I was pretty much the only girl in Winston who could drink like him), is slowly hopping on the sober train. He described me as the little sister he never had, especially in our tolerances. He screwed up good, got fired, and is now quickly cutting out alcohol. We had a long talk about the detox process and since I'm getting closer to that whole month, sharing my story helps so much to get it all out.

We all have amazing stories to share, even if they get dark, we are climbing a ladder to happy.

Enjoy your Saturdays, I'm pulling a 13 hr shift. Wish me luck!
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:22 AM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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Hope everyone made it through Thanksgiving. Happy belated Thanksgiving!
Have a great Saturday peeps and stay strong!
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:26 AM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Day 5 here..reading everyone's posts, almost like I am looking at my life-binges, blackouts, loss of friends, regret, etc. It's so frustrating. It perplexes me. Today I woke up grateful to be sober. Jumped a hurdle last night. My husband wanted to go back to a bar we went to last week when I had a binge/blackout episode. We met some nice people but I did not want to go back there for a variety of reasons-embarrassment, did not want to be around alcohol. I stood my ground. My husband got a bit aggravated with me. He thought I should have gone back but not drink. I felt better just going to bed. I am happy I made that decision and stood my ground. Based on people's posts it seems we all have hurdles to jump both internal and external. I think this is a complicated issue to overcome. Sometimes it seems like alcohol is everywhere. My husband has been very forgiving. My binges/blackouts don't seem to bother him much. It's difficult when it happens but shortly after its forgotten, or at least it seems that way. We can overcome this. There are plenty of people who have done it. Let's do this together!
Thats a big deal that you stood your ground. I relate because my husband thought my blackouts and binges weren't a big deal either and didn't seem to bother him- which blows my mind! I was self destructing, not to mention all the loved ones around me that deserved more! Anyways, good job, it's the start of something beautiful
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:47 AM
  # 136 (permalink)  
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Kiki- thanks for writing that post about how on the surface to others you looked like Mary Poppins (lol) but really underneath it all was the real story that you shared. That helps me a lot, because that is probably how I seemed to be to others. I always wondered/wonder, are there others that I know, who seem to be Mother Of The Year but are hiding alcohol abuse as well. I just wanted to feel less alone. Luckily SR helped me with that.
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:49 AM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Good morning, Buenos días, Bonjour, Guten Morgen, Buongiorno....It's SATURDAY 11/28/15!!!!
:-) Welcome Enfinthechange & SilentCinemaFan to the class! :-)

*****NOTE*****
Some people don't like to count days. If anyone wants me to take them off this list or just put something generic like Jsbodhi has below, no problem!!! OH and send me a PRIVATE MESSAGE if I need to change anything. :-)

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

Gifford -22 days
Canguy -20 days
HealthyGoals -13 days
Me (KiKi) -13 days
Patricia -? days
StrangeAngel -"working her butt off!" :-)
Pams -13 days
GoldenSands -14 days
CurlyGirl -23 days
KeepNitreal -20 days
BlackBirdFly -14 days
Noolan -9 days
SwimKim - 4 days
MeShelly -14 days
Thumbelina -29 days
Lisa247 -8 days
WalkTheLine-8 days
Supertired -14 days
Jsbodhi - "in between 30 days somewhere" :-)
Max74 -28 days
DariaM -8 days
ForeverFuzzy -9 days
BadSneakers -19 days
Jemma44 -20 days
Blondsober -6 days
Snowvelvet -24 days
GoldCoastGirl -7 days
Rivelino -7 days
TheRake -7 days
Badger257 -14 days
Odelle -7 days
Tufty13 -27 days
TryinginTexas - 14 days
Onetimeless -22 days
Dallow - 6 days
Learntofly -35 days
Faithfulandfree - 6 days
Tootsiesdad -20 days
SoberMarathon -6 days
Introspectator- 13 days
RedAndy -14 days
Jackie1214 -5 days
Neverthought - ? days
Rah555 -5 days
Alphonse -11 days
amitranjan04 -4 days
ultradad -8 days
SoulPower89 - ? days
got2stopnow -6 days
Fabat50 -21 days
Enfinthechange -1 day & the first day of a very bright future! :-)
SilentCinemaFan- welcome! You can do it! :-)

52 CLASSMATES!

*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:51 AM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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Good morning class! So many posts to try and keep up with! Welcome to the new comers, this is a great class with awesome supportive people.

Sober Saturday morning here and I am feeling so much more confident that I did last weekend about staying sober. I actually woke up a couple of mornings this week 'without' wine on the brain. Which was really nice. The first week it was just 'wine, wine, wine, wine' 24/7. I don't know if my brain will ever go back to the way it was prior to 2012, when I never thought about it at all really, but to even think about it less is fantastic.

Kiki & Dallow - Facebook. Ugh. If it weren't for the fact that I have my newsfeed set up so I can see the news of the world at a glimpse I would shut it down. And Candy Crush, don't forget Candy Crush. :P As well, I keep getting tagged daily in some sort of wine post...a wine bottle Xmas tree, stockings full of wine hanging on the fireplace, helium infused wine. ginormous wine glasses etc etc.

And yes Kiki, I agree that we think about out drunken antics far more than anyone else does. Other people move on, we don't, we get stuck in the shame and guilt...part of the cycle.

The amount that my body has healed in two weeks is rather amazing to me. I have had an issue with my neck and shoulder for a couple of months now that no amount of chiropractor/massage/acupuncture could get rid of. It's finally healing, it's still sore but it is finally letting go. I thought my face might explode from the pressure in my sinuses the first week, now that is gone and so is the lingering sinus infection I have had for months. I didn't realize how much bloating I had from all the wine until it was gone. I am not waking up in the middle of the night to drink 2 litres of water like I did just about every night. My sleep is just amazing; my worst sleep sober is better than my best sleep drunk without a doubt and I wonder exactly how sleep derived I was. I am so glad I stuck it out long enough to be able to take note of these things.

Happy sober Saturday everyone!
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:05 AM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by onetimeless View Post
I just deposited my paycheck (note: remember I'm in school full time and work full time, so the struggle can be real), and noticed my savings account has been racking up!! I've been putting my "drinking money" into my savings. I'm saving up for....something. Something that's going to make me happy! Like a trip to Europe? I'm not sure... just something to really make all this worth it!
Oh yes! I was also thinking about this just this morning when I took the dog outside. Specifically of the $130+ dollars I have not spent in 13 days. My husband and I fell into some financial trouble last year when he got hurt and had to change occupations. He brings home less than half of what he used to and his work prior to that was seasonal. He got hurt going into the peak season and we never recovered from the credit we lived on during the off season. $300+ more per month will make all the difference in the world as we slowly dig out.
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:16 AM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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Good morning Class. Entering day 7 and still working through the physical ailments. Thank you Pams for your post today, it gives me hope because I know the healing process takes time. I'm looking forward to 2 weeks!

Welcome to all of the new classmates, this is an awesome group and we have the best cheerleader any class could ever wish for. Dang Kiki, I wish I had 1/4 of your energy and enthusiasm. Hopefully, I will reach a turning point soon, until then, one day at a time.

I loved Kiki's FB post, it's the reason I closed my account two weeks after signing on.

Enfin, I think we have all done things that have caused us an incredible amount of shame and embarrassment while intoxicated. Please don't let yourself (AV) convince you that what happened is a result of a character flaw, it is directly the result of alcohol abuse. Stay in the moment and focus on what you are going to do today. I hope you stick around, this is a great group with no judgment, only open and honest support.
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