Class of November 2015 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Checking in on day 5!! Friday afternoon and on holidays. Drinking would be an obvious option if I weren't in recovery - the booze put me here in the first place.
Will play with my 4yr old, make something on my BBQ, and just have a nice sober day instead of drinking it away.
Cheers to being sober today everyone!!
Will play with my 4yr old, make something on my BBQ, and just have a nice sober day instead of drinking it away.
Cheers to being sober today everyone!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Hi guys....back again!
StrangeAngel-progress, not perfection. The important thing is you are still trying! :-)
HealthyGoals-12 days is awesome but be careful! That AV is extremely patient and waits for your weakest moment so it can catch you off guard. Don't let it! You are doing great!!!
Blackbird-I bet people were happy to have a break from all my posts! Lol
Patricia-I'm thinking about you while you shop with your husband today. Hang in there & take deep breaths. Go into a bathroom & post here if you need to! You got this!
Ultradad, happy thanksgiving & I'm so happy you are sober!
Blondsober-way to shut that AV down! 6 days is amazing!
KIR-that's great that things are healing with your husband! Gives me hope!!!
SwimKim-you've got urge surfing down! Thx for your advice on my craving!
SoberMarathon-thx! I told my AV to back off AND F off! Haha. 5 days is great & your plan for the day sounds great! I'm glad you aren't gonna waste your day drinking & glad I'm not either!
StrangeAngel-progress, not perfection. The important thing is you are still trying! :-)
HealthyGoals-12 days is awesome but be careful! That AV is extremely patient and waits for your weakest moment so it can catch you off guard. Don't let it! You are doing great!!!
Blackbird-I bet people were happy to have a break from all my posts! Lol
Patricia-I'm thinking about you while you shop with your husband today. Hang in there & take deep breaths. Go into a bathroom & post here if you need to! You got this!
Ultradad, happy thanksgiving & I'm so happy you are sober!
Blondsober-way to shut that AV down! 6 days is amazing!
KIR-that's great that things are healing with your husband! Gives me hope!!!
SwimKim-you've got urge surfing down! Thx for your advice on my craving!
SoberMarathon-thx! I told my AV to back off AND F off! Haha. 5 days is great & your plan for the day sounds great! I'm glad you aren't gonna waste your day drinking & glad I'm not either!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal 
Hi Patricia- I hope this goes better then planned. Are you seeing a counselor to help you sort this out? Maybe you can make a deal with hubby before you go, that if he starts to degrade you or you feel he is you just say a safe word and he stops. Let him know you want all of you to be happy and placing blame on each other isn't going to fix that. You both have a child to love and protect.
Are you in a positions where you could say "I feel that's very hurtful so I'm going to go inside this store while you're in that one? Some way to take a 5 minute break, but not lose yourself in the process?
It's just a thought so take it for what it's worth.
I was so angry at my husband (he was angry too because of the ugly things I had said to him while I was drunk) the first week I stopped drinking that I stayed in another bedroom and really loved it. It's funny how after a few weeks we are in a much better place. He has seen me changing and is getting kinder all the time.
Big hugs from KIR
Are you in a positions where you could say "I feel that's very hurtful so I'm going to go inside this store while you're in that one? Some way to take a 5 minute break, but not lose yourself in the process?
It's just a thought so take it for what it's worth.
I was so angry at my husband (he was angry too because of the ugly things I had said to him while I was drunk) the first week I stopped drinking that I stayed in another bedroom and really loved it. It's funny how after a few weeks we are in a much better place. He has seen me changing and is getting kinder all the time.
Big hugs from KIR
When I tell my husband that his words are hurtful, he points fingers at me saying that (insert something I've done here) is even more hurtful...it's like a competition...he works harder than anyone, he is more miserable than anyone, his life sucks more than anyone's...
I'm at my wit's end...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
StrangeAngel- glad you're still with us. I hope son you're able to just stop with any wine. I've been in that place where I got angry at my partner because I wasn't ready to quit partying.
Last night I said something to my hubby that has me scared so I think I will share it with all of you. He was saying how nice it was having me sober and he thought I was actually more fun (I don't see that because I was a s***load of fun....until I got mean as a snake with him) anyway, he asked how I felt. I told him I felt really good, but further in the conversation I told him, you know this doesn't mean I'm never going to drink again. He looked at me with a questioning look, and I said "I'm not perfect I may stumble one day or chose to go out and celebrate with my GF's. In essence I set myself up for a fall. I know that I can't drink again, but that I wanted to prepare him just in case has my worried. Do I just want him not to be totally disappointed if I screw up or am I setting up a future party date? :-(
I think you were just letting him know that relapses happen. He's proud of you and you don't want to lose that.
Saying that I'm never drinking again is internal for me at this point. When hubby asked if I was on the wagon last night, and I said yes, l was met with his usual sceptisism. "Pssssh sure you are." It doesn't feel great to be doubted, but I'm the one that put that doubt there. Actions speak louder than words and it's more important that WE believe we will never drink again. If you never want to drink again, you don't have to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Hi guys....back again!
StrangeAngel-progress, not perfection. The important thing is you are still trying! :-)
HealthyGoals-12 days is awesome but be careful! That AV is extremely patient and waits for your weakest moment so it can catch you off guard. Don't let it! You are doing great!!!
Blackbird-I bet people were happy to have a break from all my posts! Lol
Patricia-I'm thinking about you while you shop with your husband today. Hang in there & take deep breaths. Go into a bathroom & post here if you need to! You got this!
Ultradad, happy thanksgiving & I'm so happy you are sober!
Blondsober-way to shut that AV down! 6 days is amazing!
KIR-that's great that things are healing with your husband! Gives me hope!!!
SwimKim-you've got urge surfing down! Thx for your advice on my craving!
SoberMarathon-thx! I told my AV to back off AND F off! Haha. 5 days is great & your plan for the day sounds great! I'm glad you aren't gonna waste your day drinking & glad I'm not either!
StrangeAngel-progress, not perfection. The important thing is you are still trying! :-)
HealthyGoals-12 days is awesome but be careful! That AV is extremely patient and waits for your weakest moment so it can catch you off guard. Don't let it! You are doing great!!!
Blackbird-I bet people were happy to have a break from all my posts! Lol
Patricia-I'm thinking about you while you shop with your husband today. Hang in there & take deep breaths. Go into a bathroom & post here if you need to! You got this!
Ultradad, happy thanksgiving & I'm so happy you are sober!
Blondsober-way to shut that AV down! 6 days is amazing!
KIR-that's great that things are healing with your husband! Gives me hope!!!
SwimKim-you've got urge surfing down! Thx for your advice on my craving!
SoberMarathon-thx! I told my AV to back off AND F off! Haha. 5 days is great & your plan for the day sounds great! I'm glad you aren't gonna waste your day drinking & glad I'm not either!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
Omg!! Day 21!!
I went out with my friends last night for Thanksgiving and happily drank soda water and ginger beer (and water of course) all night, and I had a great time.
I even joked with one of my great friends who was bartending that I wasn't anxiously taking shots at a bar, I was sober and so happy to catch up with him. I didn't get into any trouble, and one of my girlfriends got a good buzz and I was happy to use an invisible sober stick to beat the men flocking around her away. Went back to her house and had a cup of coffee while she drunkenly raved about "making sure when I find love I never let it go," and then went home and straight to sleep! Woke up refreshed, with no hangover, ready to eat breakfast and relax with my dog after a busy Thanksgiving.
I am so happy to welcome this change. It takes three weeks to make or break a habit, and I am so incredibly happy to say my habit is now to get some rest and start my mornings refreshed.
Noted everyone's successful holidays, I'm so happy for everyone!!
I went out with my friends last night for Thanksgiving and happily drank soda water and ginger beer (and water of course) all night, and I had a great time.
I even joked with one of my great friends who was bartending that I wasn't anxiously taking shots at a bar, I was sober and so happy to catch up with him. I didn't get into any trouble, and one of my girlfriends got a good buzz and I was happy to use an invisible sober stick to beat the men flocking around her away. Went back to her house and had a cup of coffee while she drunkenly raved about "making sure when I find love I never let it go," and then went home and straight to sleep! Woke up refreshed, with no hangover, ready to eat breakfast and relax with my dog after a busy Thanksgiving.
I am so happy to welcome this change. It takes three weeks to make or break a habit, and I am so incredibly happy to say my habit is now to get some rest and start my mornings refreshed.
Noted everyone's successful holidays, I'm so happy for everyone!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
HELP! Huge craving!!!
Can someone remind my AV why I don't want to drink today???
Ugh.
Can someone remind my AV why I don't want to drink today???
Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Patricia, I'm really sorry to hear about the situation with your husband. I'm afraid I don't have much advice other than keep sobriety at the forefront of your mind. Don't let the situation compromise that, no matter how hard it is. You have a chance to fix your relationship if you are sober; if you keep drinking, it will most likely keep getting worse. Sending good thoughts your way!
Just a quick check in on Day 3. Had trouble sleeping last night, but it's okay because I got some sleep and it was better than drunk pass out sleep. Grateful for my sobriety today.
Just a quick check in on Day 3. Had trouble sleeping last night, but it's okay because I got some sleep and it was better than drunk pass out sleep. Grateful for my sobriety today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by patricia68
I am seeing a counsellor and working on being more assertive. But so far is not working out very well...my husband is so full of resentment that even my counsellor doesn't know how to help and suggested couples therapy, which of course my husband refuses to go. When I tell my husband that his words are hurtful, he points fingers at me saying that (insert something I've done here) is even more hurtful...it's like a competition...he works harder than anyone, he is more miserable than anyone, his life sucks more than anyone's... I'm at my wit's end...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
I'm so sorry you have to endure that Patricia. It sounds very hurtful & challenging. :-( As much as your AV is gonna tell you that a drink would make it all better...it's a lie and a TRAP! Thinking about you!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by patricia68
I am seeing a counsellor and working on being more assertive. But so far is not working out very well...my husband is so full of resentment that even my counsellor doesn't know how to help and suggested couples therapy, which of course my husband refuses to go.
When I tell my husband that his words are hurtful, he points fingers at me saying that (insert something I've done here) is even more hurtful...it's like a competition...he works harder than anyone, he is more miserable than anyone, his life sucks more than anyone's...
I'm at my wit's end...
When I tell my husband that his words are hurtful, he points fingers at me saying that (insert something I've done here) is even more hurtful...it's like a competition...he works harder than anyone, he is more miserable than anyone, his life sucks more than anyone's...
I'm at my wit's end...
Yoga? Meditation? I remember when my kids were young and
I was going through a divorce we did yoga together, it was so
funny. Hard for a husband to ridicule that . . . Hugs.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Morning all,
And the sun comes up and its Saturday morning. A whole weekend stretches out luxuriously to come. Read the overnights here.....Thumbelina, a month is very major, congratulations. ....same to you too onetime. Join you soon okay? Back on the bike strangeangel, you can do this. Thanks for the cheerleading kiki, you surfed well. Patricia...what can I say? All sympathy, but find your guy hard to understand....he sounds depressed and cornered, I'd just temporarily give him some space and look after yourself.
Saturday....okay, go get the newspapers. Dunno why, it'll just be pages of terrorism....make coffee and read the amusing bits. Got a friend coming over later this morning who assumes we'll be off to the bar up the street, he has two beers and I kick off the afternoon. Usually. Nobody knows I'm doing this sober thing at the moment.
Afternoon have to go out....come back here this evening and see how its all going.
Have a good day everybody.....(you're right kiki....there's a few who haven't checked in.....so, if any of you are reading this......)
And the sun comes up and its Saturday morning. A whole weekend stretches out luxuriously to come. Read the overnights here.....Thumbelina, a month is very major, congratulations. ....same to you too onetime. Join you soon okay? Back on the bike strangeangel, you can do this. Thanks for the cheerleading kiki, you surfed well. Patricia...what can I say? All sympathy, but find your guy hard to understand....he sounds depressed and cornered, I'd just temporarily give him some space and look after yourself.
Saturday....okay, go get the newspapers. Dunno why, it'll just be pages of terrorism....make coffee and read the amusing bits. Got a friend coming over later this morning who assumes we'll be off to the bar up the street, he has two beers and I kick off the afternoon. Usually. Nobody knows I'm doing this sober thing at the moment.
Afternoon have to go out....come back here this evening and see how its all going.
Have a good day everybody.....(you're right kiki....there's a few who haven't checked in.....so, if any of you are reading this......)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 154
What a difference a week can make. A week ago I couldn't think of even ONE of the reasons why I wanted to stop drinking when my AV started yapping at me...I could only just suffer and not give in. I am so glad I didn't give in. A week later I can at least think of the reasons and play the tape through and feel good about my decision to stay sober....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by canguy
Patricia...what can I say? All sympathy, but find your guy hard to understand....he sounds depressed and cornered, I'd just temporarily give him some space and look after yourself.
You're right, there's not much I can do except to look after myself and my own sanity...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by onetimeless
Omg!! Day 21!! I went out with my friends last night for Thanksgiving and happily drank soda water and ginger beer (and water of course) all night, and I had a great time. I even joked with one of my great friends who was bartending that I wasn't anxiously taking shots at a bar, I was sober and so happy to catch up with him. I didn't get into any trouble, and one of my girlfriends got a good buzz and I was happy to use an invisible sober stick to beat the men flocking around her away. Went back to her house and had a cup of coffee while she drunkenly raved about "making sure when I find love I never let it go," and then went home and straight to sleep! Woke up refreshed, with no hangover, ready to eat breakfast and relax with my dog after a busy Thanksgiving. I am so happy to welcome this change. It takes three weeks to make or break a habit, and I am so incredibly happy to say my habit is now to get some rest and start my mornings refreshed. Noted everyone's successful holidays, I'm so happy for everyone!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Healthygoals
Well this is how I'd feel if I drank: panicked because I'd not remember a lot of the night, guilty until I tested the "mood" of the house to see if anyone was angry with me and physically awful. No thanks and Kiki you'd better be on the sober bus with me
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