Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part VI
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by mistycshore 
So what's your favorite dish and could you share the recipe?
If you show me yours, I'll show you mine.
If you show me yours, I'll show you mine.
WINDY What do you put in a gumbo? Is it spicy? Is it something like a jambalaya, that I 've had.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Originally Posted by allport
That didn't come across as flippant it came across as mean 
sorry.
It's kind of a reaction to something I heard earlier, and I should know better than to put my own crap on here.
I do however think you really need to look at how you are dealing with the ex.
I am not one of those people who thinks you should not have any dealings with those who were around when we were using.
But unacceptable behaviour is not something you should accept from anyone just to keep them in your life.
If you feel you need him in your life that is your choice but are you willing to put up with the baggage?
sorry.It's kind of a reaction to something I heard earlier, and I should know better than to put my own crap on here.
I do however think you really need to look at how you are dealing with the ex.
I am not one of those people who thinks you should not have any dealings with those who were around when we were using.
But unacceptable behaviour is not something you should accept from anyone just to keep them in your life.
If you feel you need him in your life that is your choice but are you willing to put up with the baggage?
He and I used to be best friends before we dated, before the drugs, and I feel like this isn't over yet. It's not just not being over him, there's more to it than that. I've had friendships/relationships run their course before and recognize when they're over. This is not over yet. I don't really believe in fate but we've both tried to end this a couple times and circumstances always push us back into each other's lives. And even with her silly drama my life is better and more peaceful when he and I are friends. It's not a dating thing, it's just when he's around in some capacity-- a friend, whatever-- I'm happier and my life is better. So yeah, the drama stresses me out but so far it's worth it. That's so twisted.
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Originally Posted by californiapoppy
I don't really have a favorite dish, I love everything. Since it's summer and my vegetable garden is overflowing this year, and I've now run out of jars for canning. It's vegetables at every meal, which is fine with me I love them. So I've been making stuffed vegetables, and ratatouille, and soupe au pistou (it's a sort of provencal minestrone with basil pesto), and moussaka, and a sort of caponata, and tomato pudding, and a really delicious zuchinni cream, vegetable mousse, salade niçoise, and green bean casseroles among other things. If you're interested in anything just let me know, I'll put it in your visitor messages.
WINDY What do you put in a gumbo? Is it spicy? Is it something like a jambalaya, that I 've had.
WINDY What do you put in a gumbo? Is it spicy? Is it something like a jambalaya, that I 've had.
Gumbo is a roux-based soup. There are several kinds. Seafood, shrimp, chicken, sausage, racoon (lol...really). You start with a roux, add onions, celery, bell pepper, then add your protein, add bay leaves, cayennne, lemon juice, parsley, spices, and okra. Serve over rice and top with green onions and ground sassafras leaves.
Here is a good recipe for duck and sausage gumbo. You can substitute chicken if you don't like duck or use duck AND chicken.
Smoked Duck and Andouille Gumbo Recipe
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by windysan
Gumbo is a roux-based soup. There are several kinds. Seafood, shrimp, chicken, sausage, racoon (lol...really). You start with a roux, add onions, celery, bell pepper, then add your protein, add bay leaves, cayennne, lemon juice, parsley, spices, and okra. Serve over rice and top with green onions and ground sassafras leaves.
Here is a good recipe for duck and sausage gumbo. You can substitute chicken if you don't like duck or use duck AND chicken.
Smoked Duck and Andouille Gumbo Recipe
Here is a good recipe for duck and sausage gumbo. You can substitute chicken if you don't like duck or use duck AND chicken.
Smoked Duck and Andouille Gumbo Recipe
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Originally Posted by californiapoppy
YUMMMMM, I love duck and probably andouille, especially if it's like the andouillette we have here, that I put on the BBQ. Sounds good cant wait to try, don't have sassafras, I'll have to google that one, and okra is hard to find, I guess I'll just have to plant it next year ! thanks Windy
The ground sassafras is called "gumbo file". You put in in the bowls right before serving.
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Originally Posted by californiapoppy
I guess I'll have to ordre it from the States...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by tyler
It's nights like this I don't know why I even try. 
One step forward, two steps back. My life.
One step forward, two steps back. My life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I can't read to catch up today, but wanted to check in with you all. I have just gotten home from treatment last night and am working on dr. stuff and bills today.
I hope to be checking in regularly.
hope you are all doing well (hug)
I hope to be checking in regularly.
hope you are all doing well (hug)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,960
Originally Posted by californiapoppy
Originally Posted by tyler
It's nights like this I don't know why I even try. One step forward, two steps back. My life.
One step forward, two steps back. My life.
Even one day clean is cause for celebration.
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Well, not the best weekend, but not the worst. I am starting to question giving up drinking, and if now is the 'right' time, as if there is ever a right time. Or if I care anymore. Life has been so crazy these past months, it is hard to think, drinking or not. I keep thinking, I would like a group, but then that book, and the word God, God, God all over and I can't read more than a line or two without getting upset at the guilt-based angle of the whole thin. They say take what you want, but it's all so tied together, I find I have to leave the whole thing, the whole book. So those meetings scare me, yet I wish I had some social support. Then this dumb schedule, getting out so late, no groups even meeting then, at the most vulnerable hours........
But have been suffering deeply inside, wanting and wishing I had more time to do things that were relaxing, yet so many old medical, dental bills from the years of no insurance, seems to never end the money going out, the wages garnished.....even stopping drinking, I am still broke beyond broke, the difference in savings seems like a penny in the grand canyon, and has ceased to be any motivation. Fells better to drink if I have to work so much, or such has been the fall-out. I feel like I need a vacation, have not had one in years, just work, and now even more work, 6 and even 7 days a week, and still the mountain of debt seems to go down so slowly I feel like I am going to die before it is gone, I sometimes just want to, but lack the nerve.
Thinking: maybe it will be best to die “young”, not try for too much, not be too greedy, , not to be a go-getter who steps on the toes of others, just to be gentle to animals and the earth and others, to not take too much from the world an OD when the time feels right. I have been reading on what ‘works’…..one does not want to bungle a thing like that.
Such have been the thoughts of me and my bf: to go out together, plan it, like they did in Japan, one day, we will see our way out to whatever it is that is out there, beyond this life that has mainly been one of being poor, of not having, of hurting......we speak of this several times a year, especially as we have grown older and earth must be faced eventually: but we want to choose the time, the place, and not allow the hand of chance to intervene, to play the trickster even there.
HP
But have been suffering deeply inside, wanting and wishing I had more time to do things that were relaxing, yet so many old medical, dental bills from the years of no insurance, seems to never end the money going out, the wages garnished.....even stopping drinking, I am still broke beyond broke, the difference in savings seems like a penny in the grand canyon, and has ceased to be any motivation. Fells better to drink if I have to work so much, or such has been the fall-out. I feel like I need a vacation, have not had one in years, just work, and now even more work, 6 and even 7 days a week, and still the mountain of debt seems to go down so slowly I feel like I am going to die before it is gone, I sometimes just want to, but lack the nerve.
Thinking: maybe it will be best to die “young”, not try for too much, not be too greedy, , not to be a go-getter who steps on the toes of others, just to be gentle to animals and the earth and others, to not take too much from the world an OD when the time feels right. I have been reading on what ‘works’…..one does not want to bungle a thing like that.
Such have been the thoughts of me and my bf: to go out together, plan it, like they did in Japan, one day, we will see our way out to whatever it is that is out there, beyond this life that has mainly been one of being poor, of not having, of hurting......we speak of this several times a year, especially as we have grown older and earth must be faced eventually: but we want to choose the time, the place, and not allow the hand of chance to intervene, to play the trickster even there.
HP
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Originally Posted by HuskyPup
Well, not the best weekend, but not the worst. I am starting to question giving up drinking, and if now is the 'right' time, as if there is ever a right time. Or if I care anymore. Life has been so crazy these past months, it is hard to think, drinking or not. I keep thinking, I would like a group, but then that book, and the word God, God, God all over and I can't read more than a line or two without getting upset at the guilt-based angle of the whole thin. They say take what you want, but it's all so tied together, I find I have to leave the whole thing, the whole book. So those meetings scare me, yet I wish I had some social support. Then this dumb schedule, getting out so late, no groups even meeting then, at the most vulnerable hours........
But have been suffering deeply inside, wanting and wishing I had more time to do things that were relaxing, yet so many old medical, dental bills from the years of no insurance, seems to never end the money going out, the wages garnished.....even stopping drinking, I am still broke beyond broke, the difference in savings seems like a penny in the grand canyon, and has ceased to be any motivation. Fells better to drink if I have to work so much, or such has been the fall-out. I feel like I need a vacation, have not had one in years, just work, and now even more work, 6 and even 7 days a week, and still the mountain of debt seems to go down so slowly I feel like I am going to die before it is gone, I sometimes just want to, but lack the nerve.
Thinking: maybe it will be best to die “young”, not try for too much, not be too greedy, , not to be a go-getter who steps on the toes of others, just to be gentle to animals and the earth and others, to not take too much from the world an OD when the time feels right. I have been reading on what ‘works’…..one does not want to bungle a thing like that.
Such have been the thoughts of me and my bf: to go out together, plan it, like they did in Japan, one day, we will see our way out to whatever it is that is out there, beyond this life that has mainly been one of being poor, of not having, of hurting......we speak of this several times a year, especially as we have grown older and earth must be faced eventually: but we want to choose the time, the place, and not allow the hand of chance to intervene, to play the trickster even there.
HP
But have been suffering deeply inside, wanting and wishing I had more time to do things that were relaxing, yet so many old medical, dental bills from the years of no insurance, seems to never end the money going out, the wages garnished.....even stopping drinking, I am still broke beyond broke, the difference in savings seems like a penny in the grand canyon, and has ceased to be any motivation. Fells better to drink if I have to work so much, or such has been the fall-out. I feel like I need a vacation, have not had one in years, just work, and now even more work, 6 and even 7 days a week, and still the mountain of debt seems to go down so slowly I feel like I am going to die before it is gone, I sometimes just want to, but lack the nerve.
Thinking: maybe it will be best to die “young”, not try for too much, not be too greedy, , not to be a go-getter who steps on the toes of others, just to be gentle to animals and the earth and others, to not take too much from the world an OD when the time feels right. I have been reading on what ‘works’…..one does not want to bungle a thing like that.
Such have been the thoughts of me and my bf: to go out together, plan it, like they did in Japan, one day, we will see our way out to whatever it is that is out there, beyond this life that has mainly been one of being poor, of not having, of hurting......we speak of this several times a year, especially as we have grown older and earth must be faced eventually: but we want to choose the time, the place, and not allow the hand of chance to intervene, to play the trickster even there.
HP
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Windy is right.
If you can't afford a dr when you feel really low just try and be around someone who will stop you doing anything you can't take back.
I can't persuade you that life is always worth living, sometimes I have felt that way myself but you can never change that feeling if you are not here.
We have got to keep hoping that things will change.
If you can't afford a dr when you feel really low just try and be around someone who will stop you doing anything you can't take back.
I can't persuade you that life is always worth living, sometimes I have felt that way myself but you can never change that feeling if you are not here.
We have got to keep hoping that things will change.
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Thanks for the concern. I can't afford the co-pays for a shrink right now, but wouldn't mind seeing one in the future. This is the trouble with having insurance.....you no longer qualify for the charity kinds of help, yet you can't really afford the deductibles/co-pays, so you end up stuck with nothing. I'd love to see a dr for help, I love to feel that somebody cared, and could offer help, would offer help, would help.......but feel rejected by the system instead; mental problems seem to be the domain of well helled, at least in terms of treatment.
I'd be scared describing my feelings to a doc, anyway; I've had friends do this: you loose all your rights the moment you mention death: they take control; and treat you like you're nobody, dope you up, treat you like a prisoner. I want to have my dignity, even if I have dark thoughts. And I have not seen any of my friends ever helped by meds...mainly by good therapy or other things, so am very afraid of meds based on my own results and those around me.
Maybe it is best to hang around people, just to keep my mind off it. But it is funny.....sometimes I will talk about it with my bf, and we think that maybe, maybe we will do it together one day, if things keep on going downhill.......it would seem to be more dignified this way. And we want to leave the earth together, it seems important to us, somehow. But not now, I think, look at this in a year, then see where we stand, then see...they say suicide is never an ‘option’, yet many people do it, it is one way to go. And what then? I have always wondered, what then? It’s only that that hold me back, I think, this fear of the what’s then. If not for that, I’d pull the plug today.
HP
I'd be scared describing my feelings to a doc, anyway; I've had friends do this: you loose all your rights the moment you mention death: they take control; and treat you like you're nobody, dope you up, treat you like a prisoner. I want to have my dignity, even if I have dark thoughts. And I have not seen any of my friends ever helped by meds...mainly by good therapy or other things, so am very afraid of meds based on my own results and those around me.
Maybe it is best to hang around people, just to keep my mind off it. But it is funny.....sometimes I will talk about it with my bf, and we think that maybe, maybe we will do it together one day, if things keep on going downhill.......it would seem to be more dignified this way. And we want to leave the earth together, it seems important to us, somehow. But not now, I think, look at this in a year, then see where we stand, then see...they say suicide is never an ‘option’, yet many people do it, it is one way to go. And what then? I have always wondered, what then? It’s only that that hold me back, I think, this fear of the what’s then. If not for that, I’d pull the plug today.
HP
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
husky..just wanted to say that i had times where i had multipul bad years..and i mean really bad...followed by multipul years of really good...then bad..then good...for me today...it is do you wanna miss the good???
anyhow not much help probably but i have to take the focus off the temporary although possibly long crappy times and remember it isn't forever.
anyhow not much help probably but i have to take the focus off the temporary although possibly long crappy times and remember it isn't forever.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'd add my voice to the chorus HP - suicide should never be an option.
If I'd suceeded 20 years ago I would have missed out on so much - bad stuff certainly, but amazingly good stuff too.
Life has more twists and turns that I could ever have imagined.
Dying young is a ****** waste.
I know you're just musing aloud....but there are some useful resources in this link - look at them sometime maybe?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html
D
If I'd suceeded 20 years ago I would have missed out on so much - bad stuff certainly, but amazingly good stuff too.
Life has more twists and turns that I could ever have imagined.
Dying young is a ****** waste.
I know you're just musing aloud....but there are some useful resources in this link - look at them sometime maybe?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html
D
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Yep. Been there a couple of times. I'm glad I had the sense to back out of the deal. Life gets better....especially when you quit putting things in your body that may be destroying you. People who talk about it often do it. Don't do it.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Got another denial on a prospective rental, after paying over 30 bucks for a credit check. The reason? The reference from my current renter is TOO good.
Husky, you are in my thoughts. I know how strong those suicide thoughts can be. A good CBA on my life at the SMART Recovery site has been helpful to get me to the point I realize life is worth living, even if not for me for those around me.
Husky, you are in my thoughts. I know how strong those suicide thoughts can be. A good CBA on my life at the SMART Recovery site has been helpful to get me to the point I realize life is worth living, even if not for me for those around me.
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