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Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part VI

Old 09-08-2009, 09:11 PM
  # 201 (permalink)  
Never settle.
 
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AND...

This guy in my Basin Evolution class has a roommate who got Swine Flu. And tonight the guy in my class missed class with a fever and sore throat. Not cool. So now I feel like I narrowly avoided being killed and have been exposed to swine flu .That is uber bad because I drank for a few days and my immune system is probably shot because of it.

FML.
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:43 AM
  # 202 (permalink)  
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Gneiss, your life is important, don't play around with it,drugs and alcohol make for a miserable life. Get back on the wagon, hang out with non users and non drinkers, and really think about what a life is like when all you have is your addiction. I'm sure you can't be really happy and addicted at the same time. Addiction destroys.
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Old 09-09-2009, 05:29 PM
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Ca... yup. I'm back to it. And I actually got some stuff done today. Like straightened out my bank account after the last week (I refuse to add up how much I spent last week... the overdraft fees were enough of a reminder). Went to class. Got some homework done. Feeling good now, didn't drink last night and I'm good. Each bad night being dragged behind the wagon is a little easier to recover from now, they get easier as they get farther apart. It's gonna be ok. Thanks!

Hope everyone else is doing excellently!
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Old 09-09-2009, 07:04 PM
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Not all better, getting better
 
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Some random thoughts...

Dreams
Been having very vivid dreams lately. I think some of it is from not smoking or drinking as much, and part due to med change. My new doctor has taken me off Effexor and Xanax and started me on Wellbutren and Naltrexon. I am still taking Trazadone, mostly to help me get to sleep.

The dreams are very real and non stop all night, or maybe I'm just remembering them now. I've been dreaming a lot about my ex-wife, whom I still am very much in love with. In some of the dreams she is herself, and in others she is another person, but still looks like her. She's in my dreams almost every night in some fashion. It's actually quite nice and comforting, I hate to wake up sometimes.

I've also had dreams that in the past were "stress dreams", mostly from when I used to work in radio. In the past it's always been everything happening at once, screwing up on the air, etc., but lately it's been more plesant stuff, more being sucessful with it. It's not that I have any thoughts of going back to that business, but at least maybe I'm not as stressed. Anyway, for the most part, they have been plesant dreams, so that's nice.

My brother's wedding

I went to California for my brothers wedding last weekend. It went pretty well. I begged out of the bachelor party, I was tired and thought it was probably for the best anyway. As it was a "Napa Valley" wedding, there was much wine at the rehersal dinner and the reception. I really did fairly well. I had about 3, fairly small, glasses at the rehersal dinner, which was over the course of 3 hours. And I think 6 glasses at the wedding and reception, which was over about 6 1/2 hours.

I didn't feel "drunk" at all. I felt like I drank fairly "normally", more than some people, and less than others. I didn't feel any after effects the next morning or anything and no desire to drink further afterward. I haven't drank since, and that was 4 days ago. So I hope maybe the Naltrexone is doing it's job.

One thing was interesting though. Sunday night I went over to my brothers house to copy some music from him. I know he and his wife occasionally smoke pot. They would never do it around me as they are aware of the havoc it has wrecked in my life over the past 20 years. Anyway, I've been clean from pot for almost 5 months now, the longest time is 20+ years. I was starting to become fairly comfortable about being "done with it" When I was in his office copying the music, I could smell what had to be some killer bud somewhere in his desk. All I could think about was trying to get him out of the room so I could pinch a little out of his bag. I'm not sure if he sensed this or not, but he hung around the whole time, so fortunately I had no chance. It may have just been good luck, as he has no sense of smell after an accident a few years ago, so I know he didn't smell it. He may have picked up on me though. Since I've been home, I've really been jonesing for it. I've though about getting up with my boy down the coast (2 1/2 hour drive!!) to see if he could "hook me up". (Bad idea!!) I haven't done anything, but it is still on my mind. Crazy what a wiff of something can do!!

Job
I am almost done with my training for my new job. I take my final assessment on Friday, and when I pass that I'll be able to sell and earn some comissions. I really don't think I'll have any issues with this, as I'm expereinced with the product and the company already, and have completed a month of training as well. Still any good thoughts, prayers, or karma ya'll can throw my way would be much appreciated.

That's pretty much what's going on in my life. Hope everyone is doing well. Take care all!!
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:49 AM
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Snitching

I worked with a guy last night, clean cut, nice person type. I'd heard from another employer that he was a recovering meth addict, and he told me and our trainer as much last night too. The trainer departed about 1 am. About 2 a.m., he went outside for a smoke, and he came back smelling really . . . smoky, but not like cigarettes. I kept trying to decide if it smelled like marijuana - it was different from MJ but it was that strong a scent. Shortly thereafter, he was tapping his foot, but it wasn't like people normally tapping a foot - his whole body jerked with the force of it, seizure-like. He seemed to get that I was aware of this strange motion, and it was like he'd try to stop, but the attempt wouldn't last 20 seconds. His foot or feet were in constant, jerky motion.

Okay, the bad part for me was that we were sharing a cash drawer, on the orders of the trainer who is teaching everyone the new computer system. Like I said, he seems like a nice guy, but the thing about meth addicts (if he is an active one) is that then tend to run out of money and then do really stupid things (like steal). I was worried that if we came up short, that there was no way to prove it wasn't me. There is a camera that could not have helped catch his hyper-hyperness. Anyway, the drawer came out fine.

My problem: Do I tell my boss of my suspicions/concerns. I'd really hate to be labeled as the company snitch. I'd really hate for someone else's drawer to suddenly come up terribly short. I'd really hate for my employer to get ripped off or, even worse, a customer.

Am I overreacting? What would you do?
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:23 AM
  # 206 (permalink)  
☯ ⓌⒾⓁⓁ☯
 
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Check, check, checking-in.
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:16 PM
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That's a tough one Misty. I think since he's already somewhat acknowledged his addiction to the trainer that he would be a likely suspect (whether warranted or not) if cash came up missing so I wouldn't say anything unless you see him first hand smoking or shooting dope however it's done?
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:25 PM
  # 208 (permalink)  
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Hey all, just checking in here. Has been several days now, and no drinks.....feeling a bit off, but OK overall. I need to remind myself how one drink=more drinks=hangover. My problem has been mainly 'binge' drinking, drinking way to much one night, then feeling crappy the next day, swearing it off, but then going out several days to a week or two later. Need to break this pattern.

Gneiss, wow, what a scary story. Sounds like you might want to stay in for a bit:P

Hope all are well,

HP
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by HuskyPup View Post
I need to remind myself how one drink=more drinks=hangover
The older I get the less it takes to achieve one...

Here's a husky pup (mix) for ya!

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Old 09-10-2009, 11:51 PM
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Hey folks. Checking in. Staying on the minivan (I think wagons are ugly).

Misty-- tough one but I wouldn't say anything just now. I do think where there's smoke there's fire and what you described sounds like he could have been using meth. But on the other hand you really don't know since you didn't see anything yourself. He admitted he has or had a drug problem, but the cash drawer was fine. Seems like maybe he's trying to get it together a little bit (like many of us on here) so unless there actually is a problem, why stir up trouble? No one's life but his own is in danger and he didn't steal the money. Cross that bridge if you get to it. *Spoken like the methie I am, right?*

Husky... yeah! Haha

Much on my mind tonight. I basically ratted out a friend to his mom today. My friend is really out of control with his drinking, Rx drug addiction, gambling problem, etc. It's a long list. Friends and I have been kicking around the idea of calling his parents for months and we realized today we're in the perfect position to do it. He will be dead in a year if it doesn't stop, it's that bad. The last week or so has been bad, he's getting worse and we realized that none of us has a relationship with him any more so the worst he can do is be mad at us for calling his parents. So we made the call. His mom wasn't surprised by anything we said but we confirmed what she suspected and hopefully she'll start trying to get him some help. I still feel weird about it though, I think it was right in this case but I partied with the guy, I bought him dope. I made things worse for him. I feel like a traitor, but at the same time I know he's way past being able to quit on his own. And I don't want the guy to die knowing I watched it happen and didn't say anything.

*Sigh* Still having one of those FML weeks I guess.
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Old 09-11-2009, 05:25 PM
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Long time no see Doorknob. Hope life is treating you well.

I know the power of smell, Tyler. I opened a textbook of mine that has, for some strange reason, the smell of smoke in it. After quitting a week+ ago, I HATE the smell of smoke. However, now I am craving a cigarette like there is no tomorrow. I just have to remind myself that like cravings before, this will pass.
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Old 09-12-2009, 04:39 PM
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Good to see you, Doe Knob.
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Old 09-12-2009, 05:18 PM
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seconded DK!

D
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:06 PM
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blah! nevermind...

(stoopid youtube)

Last edited by Bamboozle; 09-12-2009 at 09:29 PM.
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Old 09-12-2009, 11:26 PM
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Al never allows embedding LOL
just click the link



D
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Old 09-13-2009, 04:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Al never allows embedding LOL
just click the link



D

dang i love some weird al
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Old 09-13-2009, 10:55 AM
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Let's see....

Dr. Murray....
in the bedroom....
with the Propofol....
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Old 09-13-2009, 01:45 PM
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Hi Doorknob, nice to meet you. I think, when I have a bit of money saved up, I will get a dog, as they allow them where we live now. It's an artist loft, with cement floors, mainly just one big space measuring about 20 feet by 80 feet with a bedroom at one end, pretty rustic, crumbly, in a building of similar spaces, art students, odd-balls and the like. It's a of open space, so I doubt a dog would feel too cooped up, plus, training it, the floors are just cement, spattered with paint from various artists who have lived there, not as if would ruin our beautiful no-wax floors.

My friend Soo-Ok came over on Saturday, with her motherís two little dogs, Shih Tzus...not my ideal dog, but very well behaved, and they knew a lot of tricks. Then we went to a neighborhood festival to see some bands, and it was amazing how many people I met just walking her dogs. You really get noticed. I think it could be a great way to meet people, taking walks with your dog....seems very social. If I was single, the first thing I;d do, is get a dog, and walk it all the time: I bet I'd have a date in a week.

So aside from all the things a dog has to offer, it seems to also offer this social out let in urban life.

I would love a Malamute, but too hot there, and not quite enough space, spo we're thinking maybe a pug or a Boston Terrier, maybe even a wire haired fox terrier/welsh terrier. Something not too big, but cute.

Seems kinda quite here.........how about we all tell something about our selves/backgrounds/interests/dreams/fears? Would like to get to know folks a bit better, I can babble all day, in person, or on-line, so I'll stop for now.

HP
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Old 09-13-2009, 04:22 PM
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Yea, this forum does get quiet, especially on the weekends. Thats one reason I frequent the Newcomers, Alcoholism & Substance Abuse forums as well. I still consider this my "home forum" though.

My ex-wife and son came to visit for the weekend. We had a good time. My son is 8, and we went to a local fossil museum, took the boat out and went swimming today. Last night we watched Wall-E on the big screen in the home theater we have upstairs. He and his mom "camped" out back in a tent. He loves camping!! I have a hard time with it, for one physically, I have bad knees and have a hard time getting up and sitting on the ground for long. I also have some childhood "issues" relating to camping that I'm not going to get in to right now, but I'm glad they enjoy it.

I still have a very hard time being around my ex. Not for the "usual" reasons, I am still very much in love with her and want to be back with her more than just about anything else. She still loves me as well, but I have put her through so much over the last 20 years, I don't know if it will ever really work out again. So while I love spending time with them, it is also hard being around her, acting like things are like they used to be, but knowing that they really aren't. Neither one of us have moved on to other relationships, despite the fact we have been divorced for almost 5 years. I feel "stuck" but really have no interest in a relationship with anyone but her.

So I guess I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep trying to get a little better than yesterday, and let life work itself out. Hope everyone is well. Take care all.
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Old 09-13-2009, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by windysan View Post
dang i love some weird al
Add me to that list. My favorite album of his is "In 3-D". I love the songs on that one, especially the song that's a take-off of slasher flicks.

Originally Posted by HuskyPup View Post

Seems kinda quite here.........how about we all tell something about our selves/backgrounds/interests/dreams/fears? Would like to get to know folks a bit better, I can babble all day, in person, or on-line, so I'll stop for now.

HP
I'll go first. I'm owned by two thirteen year old cats. They make the important decisions in our house.

My DOC is fiorinal/fioricet, a barbiturate for my migraines. I suffer from chronic pain and MS, and still have to take addictive medication, which is a fine line. I keep my medication out in the open where my friends and those in recovery can see them, and its quite humiliating, but better than ending up like Anna Nicole Smith.

I am completing a degree in sociology (with extra courses in Latin) as I prepare for the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT). I was going to take the exam during the first week of next month, however due to the trauma of the move, there is a good chance I would score low. I can't afford that so I will take it the next time its offered, which is in June 2010. I plan to specialize in constitutional law. My specialty will be first amendment law, especially freedom of speech. My legal heroes are Gerry Spence, Floyd Abrams, and William Kunstler.

I bleed Dodger Blue and grew up with Steve Garvey, Tommy John, Fernando Valenzuela, and Ron Cey. I adore Vin Scully, his voice calms me down like no other.

Originally Posted by tyler View Post
Yea, this forum does get quiet, especially on the weekends. Thats one reason I frequent the Newcomers, Alcoholism & Substance Abuse forums as well. I still consider this my "home forum" though.
When I first came to SR it was to deal with my addict family member. Within a month I realized how severe my own problem was. At the time there was no Secular Forums, so I posted about my recovery with SMART in Substance. Now with Secular Connections I consider this my home forum as well.
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