2 Days in (48 Hours)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Morning all,
It is the start of day thirty three here. It is chilly out. The fireplace people have just arrived. So that is good. Business first.
Physically I am fine. A slight headache, but I am drinking water. seems to be holding it check. The cheek numbness is absent. I slept fine last night, not waking up. so that was good. Still no real appetite.
Mentally I am fine. I have a few things to do today that should keep me occupied.
Emotionally it is still too early to say. Nothing has really grabbed me yet.
I have a few things to complete around the house today. Pre-work for the builders. I painted the plaster primer on the walls last night. Today, I just have to paint two walls for them to do their work tomorrow. Not a lot of work, but a few hours.
The fireplace people are busy installing my new fireplace. I cant wait for them to finish. Tonight I am probably going to spend the whole night watching it like a little kid. I don't know why, but fire has always fascinated me. Even from a young age.
Well it is a Saturday. It is chilly outside although the sun is out. There are a lot of clouds about. It seems to be the perfect day to muck around the house.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
It is the start of day thirty three here. It is chilly out. The fireplace people have just arrived. So that is good. Business first.
Physically I am fine. A slight headache, but I am drinking water. seems to be holding it check. The cheek numbness is absent. I slept fine last night, not waking up. so that was good. Still no real appetite.
Mentally I am fine. I have a few things to do today that should keep me occupied.
Emotionally it is still too early to say. Nothing has really grabbed me yet.
I have a few things to complete around the house today. Pre-work for the builders. I painted the plaster primer on the walls last night. Today, I just have to paint two walls for them to do their work tomorrow. Not a lot of work, but a few hours.
The fireplace people are busy installing my new fireplace. I cant wait for them to finish. Tonight I am probably going to spend the whole night watching it like a little kid. I don't know why, but fire has always fascinated me. Even from a young age.
Well it is a Saturday. It is chilly outside although the sun is out. There are a lot of clouds about. It seems to be the perfect day to muck around the house.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good evening all,
Well it is the end of day thirty three for me. New fireplace is in and I seem to have it dialed in. Business first though.
Physically I am a little tired. It is late here and I was up early. The headache is gone. The cheek numbness is also absent. I sort of had an appetite today. So that is something. My muscles feel good, another positive.
Mentally I am great. The mind is clear and it is easy enough to work things out for myself.
Emotionally I am stable. Apart from a few minor twinges, I am ok.
So the fireplace is in and I have got in running. This thing gives off heat like a furnace. It is going to be great in winter. It is rather cosy and all. The cats love it. It will be another early morning for me. The builders will be here tomorrow to finish off the last of their work. I cannot wait. I hope that sleep comes easily tonight.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
Well it is the end of day thirty three for me. New fireplace is in and I seem to have it dialed in. Business first though.
Physically I am a little tired. It is late here and I was up early. The headache is gone. The cheek numbness is also absent. I sort of had an appetite today. So that is something. My muscles feel good, another positive.
Mentally I am great. The mind is clear and it is easy enough to work things out for myself.
Emotionally I am stable. Apart from a few minor twinges, I am ok.
So the fireplace is in and I have got in running. This thing gives off heat like a furnace. It is going to be great in winter. It is rather cosy and all. The cats love it. It will be another early morning for me. The builders will be here tomorrow to finish off the last of their work. I cannot wait. I hope that sleep comes easily tonight.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good morning all,
Well it is the start of day thirty four. I work up to a very toasty house indeed. This closed combustion multi fuel stove really is great. It is still burning. I just topped it up and it just carries on burning. Winter is going to be a non-event here for me. I really love this thing. I tried to post a pic from my iPad, it won't let me. Business first.
Physically I am great. I slept well and woke up just after six. I did not wake during the night. The cheek numbness is still absent this morning. I did have a headache, but it was so mild. Unfortunately I just took the headache powder with my vitamins. Force of habit.
My muscles feel good, I am looking forward to exercising again.
Mentally I am fine. I read quite a bit on some forums last night, but those were to do with fireplaces. A lot of technical stuff, but I am chuffed because I could work it out.
Emotionally I am neutral this morning. I did have a few twinges last night. But I was able to let them pass without holding onto them. I am trying to put into practice this meditation technique from this blasted book. You acknowledge the thought or emotion as it enters, but you don't hold onto it. It sort of comes into you and just passes out of you. You do not try to suppress the thought or emotion. It seems to work, obviously I need a lot more practice.
Well the builders are here. They arrived at 06:30. It is a Sunday morning. Clearly they are eager to get finished. I was not as agitated as I would normally have been, so that is definitely a plus. I am noticing that the things that used to **** me off or get on my nerves don't see, to be as bad any more. Somehow my being is just being more tolerant. This is not something I am doing consciously, it is just happening. of its own volition.
I need to jump through the bath. I need to get some stuff from the hardware for these guys, paint and stuff. I really need them to finish today so that I can pack the cutlery and stuff back. It is painful having plates and stuff on beds all over the spare rooms. I also need to tackle my study sometime. All the homebrew equipment is overflowing.
I was quite a good brewer. I used to brew for craft beer festivals and the like. Someone asked me the other day whether I would still continue to brew. I thought about it and said that I would brew again, but not just yet. They were curious as to how I could taste the beer. Well, after you have created the malt - the base of the beer - you can taste it. It is the same as NA beer as it has not been fermented. The fermentation is what creates the alcohol. I still have tonnes of craft beer all over the house. I need to start taking samples to my colleagues again. Obviously I cant drink it. I need to look at trying to do NA beer at home.
Anyway, builders are calling.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
Well it is the start of day thirty four. I work up to a very toasty house indeed. This closed combustion multi fuel stove really is great. It is still burning. I just topped it up and it just carries on burning. Winter is going to be a non-event here for me. I really love this thing. I tried to post a pic from my iPad, it won't let me. Business first.
Physically I am great. I slept well and woke up just after six. I did not wake during the night. The cheek numbness is still absent this morning. I did have a headache, but it was so mild. Unfortunately I just took the headache powder with my vitamins. Force of habit.
My muscles feel good, I am looking forward to exercising again. Mentally I am fine. I read quite a bit on some forums last night, but those were to do with fireplaces. A lot of technical stuff, but I am chuffed because I could work it out.
Emotionally I am neutral this morning. I did have a few twinges last night. But I was able to let them pass without holding onto them. I am trying to put into practice this meditation technique from this blasted book. You acknowledge the thought or emotion as it enters, but you don't hold onto it. It sort of comes into you and just passes out of you. You do not try to suppress the thought or emotion. It seems to work, obviously I need a lot more practice.
Well the builders are here. They arrived at 06:30. It is a Sunday morning. Clearly they are eager to get finished. I was not as agitated as I would normally have been, so that is definitely a plus. I am noticing that the things that used to **** me off or get on my nerves don't see, to be as bad any more. Somehow my being is just being more tolerant. This is not something I am doing consciously, it is just happening. of its own volition.
I need to jump through the bath. I need to get some stuff from the hardware for these guys, paint and stuff. I really need them to finish today so that I can pack the cutlery and stuff back. It is painful having plates and stuff on beds all over the spare rooms. I also need to tackle my study sometime. All the homebrew equipment is overflowing.
I was quite a good brewer. I used to brew for craft beer festivals and the like. Someone asked me the other day whether I would still continue to brew. I thought about it and said that I would brew again, but not just yet. They were curious as to how I could taste the beer. Well, after you have created the malt - the base of the beer - you can taste it. It is the same as NA beer as it has not been fermented. The fermentation is what creates the alcohol. I still have tonnes of craft beer all over the house. I need to start taking samples to my colleagues again. Obviously I cant drink it. I need to look at trying to do NA beer at home.
Anyway, builders are calling.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good evening all,
I have reached the end of day thirty four. It is rather chilly here, but very toasty inside. I love this new fireplace. I am only wearing shorts, that's how warm it is. And the fire is on idle. Even the bathroom is nice and warm. To the business.
Physically, I am a little tired. No fatigue today - seems to only happen at work. Co-incidence? No headache today. The cheek numbness is still gone. Body feels good.
Mentally I am fine. Not much new to report other than everything upstairs is working ok.
Emotionally it was a pretty stable day. I did not have much time to think about anything except what I was busy with. Blessing in disguise or not, I am thankful for it.
The fire is still going. I only have to bank it up twice a day. It keeps the heat brilliantly. I love the fact that you can adjust it according to the heating you require.
The builders eventually finished this afternoon. My cupboards are now back. I need to get the counter top people in. The builders managed to break on of my granite counter tops. The only things outstanding now are to paint the inside of the house and to put the skirting boards back. These things I will do myself as the builders did not have the finesse for those tasks. At least it is something to keep me busy. The garden is next. Luckily we are going into autumn here, so I can really hack the garden apart.
Well it is back to work in the morning. The weekend flew by. I was dreading it on Friday. Another lonely weekend, but it was not as bad as I expected. I was really too busy to notice anything.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
I have reached the end of day thirty four. It is rather chilly here, but very toasty inside. I love this new fireplace. I am only wearing shorts, that's how warm it is. And the fire is on idle. Even the bathroom is nice and warm. To the business.
Physically, I am a little tired. No fatigue today - seems to only happen at work. Co-incidence? No headache today. The cheek numbness is still gone. Body feels good.
Mentally I am fine. Not much new to report other than everything upstairs is working ok.
Emotionally it was a pretty stable day. I did not have much time to think about anything except what I was busy with. Blessing in disguise or not, I am thankful for it.
The fire is still going. I only have to bank it up twice a day. It keeps the heat brilliantly. I love the fact that you can adjust it according to the heating you require.
The builders eventually finished this afternoon. My cupboards are now back. I need to get the counter top people in. The builders managed to break on of my granite counter tops. The only things outstanding now are to paint the inside of the house and to put the skirting boards back. These things I will do myself as the builders did not have the finesse for those tasks. At least it is something to keep me busy. The garden is next. Luckily we are going into autumn here, so I can really hack the garden apart.
Well it is back to work in the morning. The weekend flew by. I was dreading it on Friday. Another lonely weekend, but it was not as bad as I expected. I was really too busy to notice anything.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good morning all,
It is the start of day thirty five for me. It is freezing outside. My hands are like ice blocks. I should have stayed home in front of the fire. Business first.
Physically I am good. Although I am not tired, I kept waking every two hours or so. It was not difficult to get back to sleep though. I woke with a slight headache this morning. Again, I took the blasted headache powder without thinking. I need to pay more attention to this. The cheek numbness is absent this morning. I think this is finally on its way out. My body is screaming for exercise. I think I need to pack the treadmill out. My appetite seems to be back this morning.
Mentally I am fine. It is Monday and it is work. I don't have much planned for the week, but I am looking forward to the mental stimulation.
Emotionally I am good this morning. I have been doing the exercises from that blasted book - real meditation for real alcoholics. It seems to help me. It is not a bad read if you can get through all the rubbish in the beginning. It might be worth it if you are battling this aspect as I am.
Well it is miserable here in JHB SA. This weather is just a prelude of what we are in for. I am glad I have the nice toasty fire going. It burnt right through the night and the house was nice and cosy this morning. I cant wait to get home. My office is like a refrigerator. I do hate the cold. It is overcast outside. This reminds me of a typical European winter.
I am off to breakfast now with a colleague. It seems that we have a bit of catching up to do. He has been out of the office for a while. So I am looking forward to that.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
It is the start of day thirty five for me. It is freezing outside. My hands are like ice blocks. I should have stayed home in front of the fire. Business first.
Physically I am good. Although I am not tired, I kept waking every two hours or so. It was not difficult to get back to sleep though. I woke with a slight headache this morning. Again, I took the blasted headache powder without thinking. I need to pay more attention to this. The cheek numbness is absent this morning. I think this is finally on its way out. My body is screaming for exercise. I think I need to pack the treadmill out. My appetite seems to be back this morning.
Mentally I am fine. It is Monday and it is work. I don't have much planned for the week, but I am looking forward to the mental stimulation.
Emotionally I am good this morning. I have been doing the exercises from that blasted book - real meditation for real alcoholics. It seems to help me. It is not a bad read if you can get through all the rubbish in the beginning. It might be worth it if you are battling this aspect as I am.
Well it is miserable here in JHB SA. This weather is just a prelude of what we are in for. I am glad I have the nice toasty fire going. It burnt right through the night and the house was nice and cosy this morning. I cant wait to get home. My office is like a refrigerator. I do hate the cold. It is overcast outside. This reminds me of a typical European winter.
I am off to breakfast now with a colleague. It seems that we have a bit of catching up to do. He has been out of the office for a while. So I am looking forward to that.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good evening all,
So it is the end of another day for me - day thirty five done and dusted. Business first.
Physically I am good. I am very tired though. The fatigue set in at about 14:00. I only seem to get this at work. Maybe I am not keeping myself busy enough. I don't have cheek numbness so I will not mention it again unless it comes back. I had a slight headache this evening, but after a meal and some water, it went in its own. No exercise here today, icy drizzly weather outside. Not too much in a hurry to put on running shoes in that.
Mentally it was ok. Besides reading a lot of posts here on SR, I spent most of my day reading technical journals. Not too bad at all.
Emotionally I am ok. It was a neither here nor there day. I am still using the meditation technique from that book - real meditation for real alcoholics.
I sent my draft to the EB, she still thinks it's funny. I have a few more things to complete to finish the first part. Overall, I can see how people might find it amusing. I must admit that it therapeutic writing my history down. Although, I don't see the humor in it that she does, but that is because I am on the receiving end all the time.
My smoking buddy from work has a new client. So I will only be bugged to go smoke for half a day now. She does make the most stunning cakes and biscuits though. I should never have mentioned the sugar craving to her. I am trying to get her to make me chocolate éclair's though. I must say my colleagues are very jealous. Although she is a happily married woman, she is not above being mischievous in the office. She fans the rumors that we are having an affair as she knows it gets the youngest wagging and makes me blush. All in all though, it is all in good fun.
The fire is burning and it's nice and cosy bi am competing for bed space with the cats now. I have to order some things to make the fireplace more efficient, but true to SA, I can only get them from the states or the uk. Typical SA. We are now also getting load shedding here daily. It would be really crap if I didn't have my iPad charged and my fire to look at. Well bed time for me.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
So it is the end of another day for me - day thirty five done and dusted. Business first.
Physically I am good. I am very tired though. The fatigue set in at about 14:00. I only seem to get this at work. Maybe I am not keeping myself busy enough. I don't have cheek numbness so I will not mention it again unless it comes back. I had a slight headache this evening, but after a meal and some water, it went in its own. No exercise here today, icy drizzly weather outside. Not too much in a hurry to put on running shoes in that.
Mentally it was ok. Besides reading a lot of posts here on SR, I spent most of my day reading technical journals. Not too bad at all.
Emotionally I am ok. It was a neither here nor there day. I am still using the meditation technique from that book - real meditation for real alcoholics.
I sent my draft to the EB, she still thinks it's funny. I have a few more things to complete to finish the first part. Overall, I can see how people might find it amusing. I must admit that it therapeutic writing my history down. Although, I don't see the humor in it that she does, but that is because I am on the receiving end all the time.
My smoking buddy from work has a new client. So I will only be bugged to go smoke for half a day now. She does make the most stunning cakes and biscuits though. I should never have mentioned the sugar craving to her. I am trying to get her to make me chocolate éclair's though. I must say my colleagues are very jealous. Although she is a happily married woman, she is not above being mischievous in the office. She fans the rumors that we are having an affair as she knows it gets the youngest wagging and makes me blush. All in all though, it is all in good fun.
The fire is burning and it's nice and cosy bi am competing for bed space with the cats now. I have to order some things to make the fireplace more efficient, but true to SA, I can only get them from the states or the uk. Typical SA. We are now also getting load shedding here daily. It would be really crap if I didn't have my iPad charged and my fire to look at. Well bed time for me.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good morning all,
Well it is the start of day thirty six for me. It is freezing outside. I think it is going to be another miserable day. Business first, as usual.
Physically I am great. I only fell asleep after midnight, but I actually feel quite good. I did sleep right through to the alarm this morning though. I did have a headache when I woke and again I took the headache powder with my vitamins. I really need to pay more attention to what I am doing or I need to pack the headache powders away. the GB reckons it could have something to do with too much paracetemol. This might be true as I have been taking these things like sweets for years now.
Mentally I am fine. I have quite a bit of technical reading to do today. I also want to fill in the last stories of the first part for my book. I think I shall have plenty of chance to do that today.
Emotionally I am ok. It is still too early to tell what the day holds, but I have already had my swings this morning. The meditation does seem to help. If one can get through the rubbish of the first chapters, and I warn you, you need a dictionary to understand this chaps writing.
So it is a freezing cold morning outside. I have decided not to put the skirting boards back. A friend of mine actually gave me a great idea. They actually use tiles instead of the skirting boards. It looks fantastic. I think this is the way I am going to go. I don't have much to do inside anymore. I need a couple of kitchen cupboards, a granite work top for my counter, the skirting board/tile thing and to paint. The house is then done inside. I cannot wait.
The news sees to be terribly depressing here in SA at the moment. Our power generation utility is up the creek without a paddle. Half the cabinet seems to be getting golden handshakes for some corruption or other. The infrastructure is very poorly maintained. Job cuts are becoming common. The list goes on and seems endless. I really wonder how they plan on fixing this. Are we going to become like our basket case neighbours up north?
Ahh well, it is not all doom and gloom. Time for some coffee and a cigarette.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
Well it is the start of day thirty six for me. It is freezing outside. I think it is going to be another miserable day. Business first, as usual.
Physically I am great. I only fell asleep after midnight, but I actually feel quite good. I did sleep right through to the alarm this morning though. I did have a headache when I woke and again I took the headache powder with my vitamins. I really need to pay more attention to what I am doing or I need to pack the headache powders away. the GB reckons it could have something to do with too much paracetemol. This might be true as I have been taking these things like sweets for years now.
Mentally I am fine. I have quite a bit of technical reading to do today. I also want to fill in the last stories of the first part for my book. I think I shall have plenty of chance to do that today.
Emotionally I am ok. It is still too early to tell what the day holds, but I have already had my swings this morning. The meditation does seem to help. If one can get through the rubbish of the first chapters, and I warn you, you need a dictionary to understand this chaps writing.
So it is a freezing cold morning outside. I have decided not to put the skirting boards back. A friend of mine actually gave me a great idea. They actually use tiles instead of the skirting boards. It looks fantastic. I think this is the way I am going to go. I don't have much to do inside anymore. I need a couple of kitchen cupboards, a granite work top for my counter, the skirting board/tile thing and to paint. The house is then done inside. I cannot wait.
The news sees to be terribly depressing here in SA at the moment. Our power generation utility is up the creek without a paddle. Half the cabinet seems to be getting golden handshakes for some corruption or other. The infrastructure is very poorly maintained. Job cuts are becoming common. The list goes on and seems endless. I really wonder how they plan on fixing this. Are we going to become like our basket case neighbours up north?
Ahh well, it is not all doom and gloom. Time for some coffee and a cigarette.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good evening all,
I am now at the end of day thirty six. We are down to 8degC or 42degF tonight. So the chill is setting in for us. I know this is summer weather to some of you - not to me though. Business first.
Physically I am good. My headache came and went the whole day. At no stage was it anything thing other than a mild irritant. I think this is also now nearing the end of its cycle. I did have a little bit of fatigue around 13:00, but this lifted as soon as I left work. Very strange. Other than these two symptoms and the occasional disturbed sleep, all the withdrawal symptoms are now gone for either several weeks or at least a few days. I knew it would take time, but I expected a lot of them to be around a bit longer. I am not complaining.
Mentally it has been a good day. I have spent a lot of the day reading posts here on SR and catching up with what is happening in peoples lives as well as other technical forums. I didn't have much enthusiasm for work today, but that is ok as I am a little ahead of where I need to be.
Emotionally the day started well. Unfortunately it was a rather dark afternoon. The L from HALT really hit me hard today and would not budge. I am ashamed to admit, but I actually felt better when I read some posts here on SR. There are a lot of people that were suffering today. I do apologise, but it made me feel better. I was thinking that hey - others have it way worse than me. While it did not cheer me up, it at least broke the doom and gloom of the darkness.
Although today was hard on me emotionally, I was not really tempted to drink. The emotions can sometimes be all consuming. There is not much to do about them at the moment except to take it one day at a time.
It is nice and cosy here in the room. I have been giving some thought to a few short anecdotes that I was unsure of for the book. I think it is coming on well. I now need to add the flesh to those skeletons.
Just out of curiosity - how many of you know what a perm is (with respect to hair)? My EB wants me to expound on this. I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Ahh well, I am going to try for an early night tonight. I hope I can sleep through, although I think I have drank too much water too close to bed time.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
I am now at the end of day thirty six. We are down to 8degC or 42degF tonight. So the chill is setting in for us. I know this is summer weather to some of you - not to me though. Business first.
Physically I am good. My headache came and went the whole day. At no stage was it anything thing other than a mild irritant. I think this is also now nearing the end of its cycle. I did have a little bit of fatigue around 13:00, but this lifted as soon as I left work. Very strange. Other than these two symptoms and the occasional disturbed sleep, all the withdrawal symptoms are now gone for either several weeks or at least a few days. I knew it would take time, but I expected a lot of them to be around a bit longer. I am not complaining.
Mentally it has been a good day. I have spent a lot of the day reading posts here on SR and catching up with what is happening in peoples lives as well as other technical forums. I didn't have much enthusiasm for work today, but that is ok as I am a little ahead of where I need to be.
Emotionally the day started well. Unfortunately it was a rather dark afternoon. The L from HALT really hit me hard today and would not budge. I am ashamed to admit, but I actually felt better when I read some posts here on SR. There are a lot of people that were suffering today. I do apologise, but it made me feel better. I was thinking that hey - others have it way worse than me. While it did not cheer me up, it at least broke the doom and gloom of the darkness.
Although today was hard on me emotionally, I was not really tempted to drink. The emotions can sometimes be all consuming. There is not much to do about them at the moment except to take it one day at a time.
It is nice and cosy here in the room. I have been giving some thought to a few short anecdotes that I was unsure of for the book. I think it is coming on well. I now need to add the flesh to those skeletons.
Just out of curiosity - how many of you know what a perm is (with respect to hair)? My EB wants me to expound on this. I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Ahh well, I am going to try for an early night tonight. I hope I can sleep through, although I think I have drank too much water too close to bed time.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer 
Just out of curiosity - how many of you know what a perm is (with respect to hair)? My EB wants me to expound on this.
ZAB
ZAB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by martina12
In the UK its a 'permanent wave' at the hairdressers..in other words hair in curlers with some sort of 'perm' solution applied which leaves a permanent curl or wave..I am not a hairdresser but there maybe someone here who is better qualified than me to elaborate on a perm!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good morning all,
It is the start of day thirty seven here. There is a horrible chilly wind blowing around. It goes right through you. I don't think I will be smoking that much today. I have a nice cup of coffee and I am contemplating the day ahead. Business first.
Physically I am a good. I battled to get to sleep last night. I was feeling very anxious for some or other reason. I don't even know why. I did manage to sleep right through once I dropped off. I did have a slight headache this morning. And the appetite is back today. All in all I am good.
Mentally, I am good. I am not that motivated, but I am not disillusioned. I can think clearly on the tasks at hand and that is a good thing.
Emotionally it started great. But things that are beyond my control keep surfacing. These events trigger off feelings of rage and despondency. Every time I think I am getting settled down, something new pops up. I am now running out of patience and getting to the end of my tether. I am getting rather tired of being the bigger person in this mess and feel I am going to blow a gasket sooner rather than later. It takes two to tango.
Deep breaths, rant over. Smoke a cigarette and calm down. It is at moments like this that the AV lurks and I need to concentrate on that. It is hard to fight multiple battles at the same time. I can do this and I need to put one step in front of the other. I need to get to the point where I actually don't give a damn about other peoples feelings and to put my own in front of everyone else. I know that it is not right to feel this way - but right now I don't give a flying f*ck whose toes I trample.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
It is the start of day thirty seven here. There is a horrible chilly wind blowing around. It goes right through you. I don't think I will be smoking that much today. I have a nice cup of coffee and I am contemplating the day ahead. Business first.
Physically I am a good. I battled to get to sleep last night. I was feeling very anxious for some or other reason. I don't even know why. I did manage to sleep right through once I dropped off. I did have a slight headache this morning. And the appetite is back today. All in all I am good.
Mentally, I am good. I am not that motivated, but I am not disillusioned. I can think clearly on the tasks at hand and that is a good thing.
Emotionally it started great. But things that are beyond my control keep surfacing. These events trigger off feelings of rage and despondency. Every time I think I am getting settled down, something new pops up. I am now running out of patience and getting to the end of my tether. I am getting rather tired of being the bigger person in this mess and feel I am going to blow a gasket sooner rather than later. It takes two to tango.
Deep breaths, rant over. Smoke a cigarette and calm down. It is at moments like this that the AV lurks and I need to concentrate on that. It is hard to fight multiple battles at the same time. I can do this and I need to put one step in front of the other. I need to get to the point where I actually don't give a damn about other peoples feelings and to put my own in front of everyone else. I know that it is not right to feel this way - but right now I don't give a flying f*ck whose toes I trample.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
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