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Old 05-18-2015, 09:46 AM
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Hey congratulations on 6 weeks Zab. Things got a bit easier for me around weeks 6/7

Re the smoking thing, I'm not sure if it is good to quit at the same time as going sober or not.

I quit way back in 1987 but I wasn't an alcoholic then. The good news about stopping smoking is that the Nicoteen cravings decrease in a nice linear way until they go for good. The other good thing is that you don't have to "work" to stay of ciggies (after 6 weeks or so) like you do with booze.

I wasn't tempted to start smoking again despite turning into an alcoholic
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Old 05-18-2015, 10:15 AM
  # 342 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by saoutchik View Post
Hey congratulations on 6 weeks Zab. Things got a bit easier for me around weeks 6/7

Re the smoking thing, I'm not sure if it is good to quit at the same time as going sober or not.

I quit way back in 1987 but I wasn't an alcoholic then. The good news about stopping smoking is that the Nicoteen cravings decrease in a nice linear way until they go for good. The other good thing is that you don't have to "work" to stay of ciggies (after 6 weeks or so) like you do with booze.

I wasn't tempted to start smoking again despite turning into an alcoholic
Ta saoutchick, much appreciated.

The smoking is the last thing physical addiction that I have left. It needs to go.

You are probably right when you say not to quit both at the same time. I don't have the experience with that.

I am going to have to stop soon, it is interfering with my fitness levels and is just getting way too expensive here in SA. We're not at EU prices yet - but we are catching up quickly. It is also just a very bad habit to have. I hate having to disrupt a meeting so that I can have a smoke break.

I hear you with the smoking temptation - I was stupid when I started again. My wife and I had both stopped. She started again - and I started out of spite just to show her I could smoke three times more than her. I am the idiot here.

I will get there, baby steps.
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Old 05-18-2015, 01:22 PM
  # 343 (permalink)  
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Good evening all,

So it is the end of day forty two. It is cold outside. all my toys for the fireplace finally arrived from the states. Barometric dampers and temperature indicators. Fireplace is running at a constant 275F. What does this all mean. Well I am sitting here in shorts and no t-shirt while typing to you and the room is nice and warm. Not too warm mind you - just nice. Business first.

Physically I am great this evening. I have no headache. I am a little tired. As usual, the fatigue hit me at work. I think our office has something to do with it. As soon as I go outside or leave, the fatigue falls away. Although I have it sometimes on the drive home. Guaranteed though, it falls away when I am at home. I wonder if it is not time for a career change or a change of companies.

Mentally I am good. Work was good. The usual parry and thrust of meetings went well. I am glad. I am able to hold myself well. I even get glimpses of the ****-sure young engineer from so many years ago. It is a great feeling. I even managed to complete the last bit of the first section to my book. It is now in the EB's hands. We shall see what is left of it.

Emotionally, I am fair. Not great and not bad. I wouldn't say that I am at peace, but I am definitely not in conflict with myself anymore at this stage. I feel that this is progress. Thanks for all the posts and PM's, they really do mean a lot to me. I enjoy responding to them as much as I enjoy reading them. I guess I have been hiding away from people for far too long.

Well it is going well with me. I really cannot wait for the last bit of building work to now be completed. I want to get into the garden and get it presentable. I am not sure what I am going to do then. I will find something I am sure. By then we should be into the windy season - so it will be time to take the kites out.

I am finding out more about myself as I progress down this line. There are things that I thought were gone forever. It is surprising how they do return. I am trying new things, things I would not normally eat. Mushrooms and such, and they're not too bad. Usually I would have just scraped them to the side instead of eating them.

I forgot to say this to someone today in a PM, but here it is. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think - why do I not feel any different today compared to yesterday. Well physically and mentally I don't, but what I forgot to say was this - each day brings along something new that I re-discover. I suppose that is the difference today compared to yesterday.

I mentioned the books I have read about recovery earlier on in a post. I would recommend them as there is some really good stuff there. I am going to re-iterate, I took what worked for me and discarded what didn't. I do want to make it very clear - it didn't work for me now, but that is not to say it wont work for me in the future. Every little weapon in our arsenal helps. I am not for and neither am I against any group of recovery. Anything that helps you or me to recover is good. SR and what I have read have done it for me. And those of you in the background that have listened to my endless drivelling. For that I say thanks - I really don't have the words to express my gratitude. I do have some "normies" that follow this thread so I have to give a shout out to them.

I am going to have to ask the GB about the headaches though. I am now at my wits end. I suspect it is a combination of things. Diet, too many cigarettes, poor hydration, too much coffee etc. I am fine some days, but others are just a killer. Some days I am popping the headache powders back like sweets. It is almost as bad as when I was drinking.

Anyway, one more day down. A few hours to rest. Then I can re-commit myself to not having a drink tomorrow. The cats are in. The writing is on the wall - bed time dad.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-18-2015, 02:52 PM
  # 344 (permalink)  
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way to go on 6 weeks ZaB

D
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Old 05-18-2015, 06:27 PM
  # 345 (permalink)  
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ZAB

Thank you for the list of books you've read. I am going to get a few of them. Monkey on My Back sounds good (as do others) plus the running books. My doctor told my son to read Resilience (can't remember author, it has a tree on the cover). You mentioned in another post that you thought exercise was the key. I have always thought this also. Get the endorphins and dopamine going! I worked out hard for many years (never long distance running tho). I started riding a bicycle again and working out. We've had a beautiful levee with a riding path surrounding our farm for 20 years that I've never used before. I actually bought a bike! If you don't feel well physically, you certainly can't feel well mentally or emotionally. I also take bits and pieces out of things I read that work for me. Things stick out in my head that people (friends, doctors, etc) have said to me over the years. These help me too. I try to keep what helps me in the front of my mind. Slowly, but better than not at all, I hope to get there! Keep posting! Maybe I'll start a thread.

Keep on keeping on! (I'm from the good ole USA - Missouri).

Big love,

(Steven Tyler wrote the foreword on one of the books I read and he signed it "Big Love"! I love that!).

Big Love,

Olivia
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Old 05-18-2015, 08:25 PM
  # 346 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
way to go on 6 weeks ZaB D
Ta Dee, much appreciated.
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Old 05-18-2015, 10:13 PM
  # 347 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Olivia2011 View Post
ZAB

Thank you for the list of books you've read. I am going to get a few of them. Monkey on My Back sounds good (as do others) plus the running books. My doctor told my son to read Resilience (can't remember author, it has a tree on the cover). You mentioned in another post that you thought exercise was the key. I have always thought this also. Get the endorphins and dopamine going! I worked out hard for many years (never long distance running tho). I started riding a bicycle again and working out. We've had a beautiful levee with a riding path surrounding our farm for 20 years that I've never used before. I actually bought a bike! If you don't feel well physically, you certainly can't feel well mentally or emotionally. I also take bits and pieces out of things I read that work for me. Things stick out in my head that people (friends, doctors, etc) have said to me over the years. These help me too. I try to keep what helps me in the front of my mind. Slowly, but better than not at all, I hope to get there! Keep posting! Maybe I'll start a thread.

Keep on keeping on! (I'm from the good ole USA - Missouri).

Big love,

(Steven Tyler wrote the foreword on one of the books I read and he signed it "Big Love"! I love that!).

Big Love,

Olivia
My pleasure Olivia,

All of the books that I listed have some really good things in them. They also have the added bonus in that you can read through and finish them.

I still believe that exercise is the key. Anything that can get your heart rate going for a bit. Unfortunately I live in a built up area, so to really be able to experience the nature - I have to go out of town.

It sounds like you have it worked out and are on the right path. Good for you. You just have to put one step in front of the other and live for today.

I look forward to reading your thread.

Keep on keeping on there in Missouri.


Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:16 PM
  # 348 (permalink)  
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Good morning all,

So I begin day forty three this bright and sunny morning. Although the sun is out, there is a nasty edge to the wind. Business first.

Physically I am buggered this morning. I did not sleep well at all. The first problem is that I could not get to sleep. I have discovered that that the symptoms I have been describing over the past few days could be restless legs syndrome. I am going to up my iron supplement as this could be part of the problem. Google is not your friend when trying to self diagnose. The symptoms are the same - I just don't like what causes it. I never noticed the uncomfortable feelings before as I was always pissed. It has however become more noticeable now, so I am holding thumbs that it is a deficiency. I also have the headache from the deepest bowels of hell this morning.

Mentally, I am ok. Obviously the mind is a bit numb after last night. But I will be able to cope.

Emotionally, I am ok. I expected to be more inconsistent than what I am today. So I am taking that as a positive and hanging on to it.

Well it is another day here in paradise. Life is good. I really cannot complain. I don't have the physical urge to drink. Sometimes I have the AV on my shoulder. The fear of going through hell again to stop is still fresh in my mind. So I am hanging on to that.

Well it is breakfast time. And I am famished.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:20 PM
  # 349 (permalink)  
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Hi,

I just registered here and I read through a lot of your thread. Being on Day 1 it is nice to see what to expect. So thanks for sharing!
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Old 05-19-2015, 12:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Teresia View Post
Hi,

I just registered here and I read through a lot of your thread. Being on Day 1 it is nice to see what to expect. So thanks for sharing!
Hi Teresia,

Welcome to SR. This thread is about what I went through. It is not to say you will or will not experience the same things at the same timeframe. Good luck with your journey and it is my pleasure sharing.

Maybe you would like to start your own thread?

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-19-2015, 01:53 AM
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Originally Posted by ZaBoozer View Post

It is cold outside. all my toys for the fireplace finally arrived from the states. Barometric dampers and temperature indicators. Fireplace is running at a constant 275F.

ZAB
Your fireplace sounds awesome ZAB
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Old 05-19-2015, 02:02 AM
  # 352 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by martina12 View Post
Your fireplace sounds awesome ZAB
Hey there M, It is great. Unfortunately the App and my iPad don't work so well. I have to figure out how to upload some pictures sometime.

Good to see you hanging in there.
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Old 05-19-2015, 01:58 PM
  # 353 (permalink)  
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Good evening all,

Day forty three can be struck off the calendar. To the business end.

Physically I am very tired. I hope I don't have last nights issues. I have added some extra supplements to my vitamins - iron and magnesium. This is supposed to help with RLS. The headache is still there, but not as severe as this morning.

Mentally, I am fine. I have just spent two hours with the EB getting the flow right for the book. We are now on the same page, so I cannot wait to see the edits.

Emotionally I am good. Today had it's low points. I am learning to cope. As long as I am able to keep busy - I am ok.

I ended up going for a beer with a colleague today. I drank NA beer. I don't think I am ready to do that in a hurry again. The AV was on my shoulder permanently. I think I will just avoid the temptation for now.

Tomorrow is hump day, and for me the week is flying. I have read quite a few posts today that have dealt with re-lapse. I am going to have to revisit my attitude with regards to alcohol. I cannot take the chance that I took today again. I am not ready for that.

Well the cats have sorted their spots out. The fire is keeping the place cosy. It is chilly outside and it is time for me to see if the extra vitamins help.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-19-2015, 02:36 PM
  # 354 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ZaBoozer View Post

I ended up going for a beer with a colleague today. I drank NA beer. I don't think I am ready to do that in a hurry again. The AV was on my shoulder permanently. I think I will just avoid the temptation for now.

Tomorrow is hump day, and for me the week is flying. I have read quite a few posts today that have dealt with re-lapse. I am going to have to revisit my attitude with regards to alcohol. I cannot take the chance that I took today again. I am not ready for that.
Glad you didn't drink and are self-aware enough to realize that you're not ready to do this anything. I get a lot out of your updates, please keep them coming!
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Old 05-19-2015, 02:50 PM
  # 355 (permalink)  
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Love your posts, Zab. Love seeing you keepin' on.
I'm concerned about your headaches and restless legs, though. Maybe you should see a doctor and get blood work done, have the iron levels checked out, etc. I'm a bit of a health nut (ironic, I know), but taking iron when you already have enough may be counterproductive in some ways. Also, you have to have enough vitamin B12 to absorb the iron, so that should be checked, too. Even heavy meat eaters can be low in B12, and of course alcohol robs us of the B vitamins anyway, so I'm all for getting blood work done after about 6-8 weeks, which I plan to do myself.
You could try a dietary experiment for a couple weeks, eating lots of plant foods and less animal products (eat lots of cruciferous veggies, greens, legumes, nuts/seeds, berries, mushrooms, onions, whole grains, starchy veggies) and see if your headaches go away, and maybe even your restless leg syndrome.
I know people who's headaches have abated with a change in diet this way.
This is advice you haven't asked for--forgive me if I'm overstepping.
Just rooting for you in many ways and wishing the best for you.
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Old 05-19-2015, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by CaseyW View Post
Glad you didn't drink and are self-aware enough to realize that you're not ready to do this anything. I get a lot out of your updates, please keep them coming!
Ta CaseyW, much appreciated. It is my pleasure.
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Old 05-19-2015, 11:11 PM
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Originally Posted by KaleGrrl View Post
Love your posts, Zab. Love seeing you keepin' on.
I'm concerned about your headaches and restless legs, though. Maybe you should see a doctor and get blood work done, have the iron levels checked out, etc. I'm a bit of a health nut (ironic, I know), but taking iron when you already have enough may be counterproductive in some ways. Also, you have to have enough vitamin B12 to absorb the iron, so that should be checked, too. Even heavy meat eaters can be low in B12, and of course alcohol robs us of the B vitamins anyway, so I'm all for getting blood work done after about 6-8 weeks, which I plan to do myself.
You could try a dietary experiment for a couple weeks, eating lots of plant foods and less animal products (eat lots of cruciferous veggies, greens, legumes, nuts/seeds, berries, mushrooms, onions, whole grains, starchy veggies) and see if your headaches go away, and maybe even your restless leg syndrome.
I know people who's headaches have abated with a change in diet this way.
This is advice you haven't asked for--forgive me if I'm overstepping.
Just rooting for you in many ways and wishing the best for you.
Hi KaleGrrl,

Thanks for the kind comments. I will give an update in my post on the RLS. I appreciate the advice - so no overstepping there, every little bit helps.

You have some very valid points. I am a very poor eater - meat rice and potatoes kind of guy. When I was drinking, I would eat when I felt hungry, maybe once every couple of days. I am still forcing myself to eat more than once a day now. I know I need to break the habit.

I like the foods you have mentioned. I would never have eaten them before, but now with sobriety, I am actually open to change.

So lets - keep on keeping on together here on SR.

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-20-2015, 12:00 AM
  # 358 (permalink)  
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Good morning all,

It is another sunny morning here in SA. The sky is a clear blue and I am stuck in an office. Start of day forty four. Business first.

Physically I am ok. I woke with the headache from hell again this morning. I managed to make it to work before I was forced to take something for it. I fell asleep fine last night, no sign of the RLS. I had run out of my multi vitamin roughly a week ago and did not renew it. This could be the cause for the RLS that I was experiencing. I am now on the following schedule:
- B12 - twice daily
- Milkthistle - twice daily
- Vital Liver rescue - twice daily
- Centrum multi vitamin - once daily
- Spirulina - twice daily
This combination of vitamins seem to work well for me. I need to make some changes to my diet. I need to start eating more healthy and regularly. This will come shortly as my house renovation is almost done.

Mentally I feel great this morning. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head with regards to the book. I am making notes and I am very excited about it. I am enjoying my work. My concentration and ability to focus has come on leaps and bounds since I stopped drinking. The changes are rapid at first and become less noticeable as time goes on.

Emotionally I am ok. If I take the emotions out of the equation that pertain to my wife - I am perfect. Obviously this cant be done. So I have my highs and lows. I am not sure if this would be an accurate reflection of recovery progress to anyone as everyone has different situations. On the whole though, I am moving forward, albeit at a snails pace - it is progress.

Well today is hump day. The week is almost done. Time has flown and I cant believe it. It seems just like yesterday that I was still drinking. I have given a lot of thought to yesterdays visit to the bar. I definitely know that I will be avoiding this in the future. I am not strong enough and I don't really care whether I will ever be strong enough - why create the opportunity.

Living day to day works for me with respect to alcohol. I don't mean you should not think about the future. I mean instead that I do not think about never drinking again. I think instead - not today.

I have become lax with my exercise. Although I have been doing a lot of physical work around the house - the actual act of exercise has fell to the side. I need to work on myself a bit here and get back into the swing of things.

Enough rambling for one morning. Time for a cup of coffee and a cigarette.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:36 AM
  # 359 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ZaBoozer View Post

I ended up going for a beer with a colleague today. I drank NA beer.

ZAB
Zab I nearly choked on my coffee on the first sentence, followed by relief on the second!

On two previous occasions to maintain sobriety I have relapsed because I had false confidence that I could go to the pub and be fine to drink NA drinks. AV got a great vice like grip on both occasions so my lesson was learnt.

When I confessed on SR here last year Dee said that it was a looooong time until he could go to the pub....sigh, oh well happy days

Stay strong
M
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:46 AM
  # 360 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by martina12 View Post
Zab I nearly choked on my coffee on the first sentence, followed by relief on the second!

On two previous occasions to maintain sobriety I have relapsed because I had false confidence that I could go to the pub and be fine to drink NA drinks. AV got a great vice like grip on both occasions so my lesson was learnt.

When I confessed on SR here last year Dee said that it was a looooong time until he could go to the pub....sigh, oh well happy days

Stay strong
M
Hi there M,

Sorry - I didn't mean to be melodramatic.

It wasn't easy at all. It was ok when I got inside the pub, but watching my colleague drinking that beer and then the smell. The AV just kept getting stronger and stronger. I had to just get out, so I called it quits after two NA beers.

My colleague is aware of my drinking problem, so it was a non-issue. He is in fact contemplating that he might have a problem. If it were not for the fact that he kept reflecting on this - I would have been in huge trouble.

I will not be visiting a bar in a hurry again. I mean, after all, a bar is there for the purpose of drinking - nothing else. I don't think it would have been so bad if we had gone to a restaurant for a meal - but just to sit and drink? Stupidity on my part.

All's well that ends well.

You keep on keeping on there.

Cheers,

ZAB
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