Jewelz

Yummy I havent had meatballs in a while... I make it like you kj except for the mustard. Maybe if I have the energy I'll make dinner tonight.

finallyout

hey all, work day is almost done, took my son to the dr. for hearing tests, turns out i picked the strangest dr in all of maryland, back to the list to find a different one, according to them his hearing is fine but the test took all of 2 min, how can they be sure? And the dr. didn't even answer my other questions. definately not a good first impression. then, to top off my crummy afternoon, i discovered the bank shorted my $20 from withdrawal, how nice, i called and they're "checking into it", yeah i bet, i have a feeling i'm out $20, which was my gas $ for this week so now i'm screwed! oh well, looking forward to going home and seeing the kids and relaxing! hope everyone has a great night, and if you make those meatballs cinder let us know how they turned out, i never made my own before, i usually by the frozen ones.

finallyout

quick questions guys, i should probably start a new thread on this but oh well, how "often" do you really think addicts cheat on their spouses? i don't mean how many times but how many addicts really are out their cheating? my ah has swore up and down since the day we met the he has never and would never cheat, i've never found ANYTHING to indicate that he did, no one ever told me that they thought he was, but i keep hearing on here that all addicts cheat and now i'm concerned. i'm mean, i'm not naive, i realize he spent hundreds of nights away from me and easily could have been with someone else and he'll never tell me if he was but i'm just wondering, for someone who is smoking crack in the car all night how and where would they meet up and get together. he would have rather died than spend his drug$ on a motel room (i realize you can do it in a car too) but seriously aren't most crackheads more focused on getting high than getting laid?? any thoughts would be helpful. (ps, we've both been tested for everything and it came they all came back negative so thats a plus right?)

Jewelz

finallyout, definately geta new doctor.. I'm gonna do the same as well. I dont know what bank you have but my bank credits it right away when an atm doesnt give me the correct money, I hope yours does as well.

hugs,
Jewel

Jewelz

8 more minutes and the day is over!!

cinderellawkids

Finally,
This is just my opinion, but I asked that with AHs old drug court affiliates. I was very close to these guys and was told by most that they did not, it was the last thing they were looking for. The ones who did cheat were sober obvious cheaters as well. The ones who had on occassion said only when they were with a girl using and she was providing the drugs.
Now on the other hand more of the females in that group admitted to cheating, but usually with noa ddicts to get drug money, not the other addicts. I know my AH usually showed up towards the end of his whole high wanting it and other addicts had told me they did the same as well.
In my town statistics say 80% of addicts ahve diseases. My husband has been tested alot, mainly because we were worried about his brother's ways with this past HepC positive woman and him sharing pipes with AH. We both have always come negative for everything.
SO in my humble opinion many crack addicted men do not have sex as part of their days away. This would not be all, and it would not shock me a time or two if my AH had and I found out, however all the times Ive found him taht was the furtherst thing from what was happening

teke

where i come from, they do it a lot, and i believe that my ah does, may not cheat sober, but almost sure that he will high. he wrote in his journal that he had to stay away from women who use, he never knew that i read the diary, that contributed to me making his leave this time. but i knew anyway.

i've been around a lot of women who lived for nights and wkends so that they could proposition somebody with drugs, or money for sex or other favors. sorry to be the barer of bad news, but i also know that all of addicts don't, all i want was to get high. i didn't want sex not even with my ah. but his on the other hand........... if i thought that he wasn't cheating on those nites he disappeared, then i may have been more able to deal with his addiction. sorry don't mean that your ah have to be one of those that do.

honestly though if i wasn't absolutely sure, i'd probably take steps of precautions just in case, like what cinder say, there is a high percentage of infected addicts. they all share pipes and sometimes needles, addicts are so careless when it comes to that, and i've seen things with my own eyes. this is such a touchy subject for me, i cringed when i first read it and started not to post this. someone post a thread about this awhile back.

teke

i think alot of this junk tied in with my ah's strong desire to have porn around, i think when he's out, there are so many addicted women out there who are willing to play there game just for a hit.

Live

ah...finally, I was thinking about you.
And you too Teke.

I have to admit I am glad I am in my golden years. I went straight from 17 to getting married and raising two kids. The oldest died and the other is doing super and is in Indiana. My hubby and I are just the two of us for the honeymoon and love it. I spent the first two years of my grandson's life raising him as much as his momma and more that his poppa and I am forever grateful for that. It resurrected me from losing my son and he is the cutest. But I don't want to raise/babysit kids anymore.

Well...to me, be careful what you ask for. Few minutes ago stepson called and he and my best girlfriend and his sometimes gf are coming over. Amazing how fast I can clean a bathroom!

I know this is touchy...but hubby and I are not tee-totallers. We were sitting here each of us with a drink, he likes a beer and I like a glass of wine and we were discussing how and what to do with that storage/guest room.
I know after ex, I was absolutely phobic about alcohol and would not be around anyone or anywhere there was drinking......but over time (3 yrs) I have distinguished between social drinking and alcoholism.
But hubby and I agree it is time for us now. And even before we married and when I was convinced I was destined to remain single and was liking it, I still thought that way....I have met my responsibilities, now is my time.
But, anyway, stepson does have a drinking problem, so hubby and I agreed to hide the booze. Not trying to stop him from drinking, he is going to do that anyway...but we just prefer not to have the chaos and stupidity here. He will probably bring along his own beer...and neither one of us are going to try to police him. The hardest thing I have learned is that I have to respect his right to make his own choices, whether I think they are bad or good. We will make sure he doesn't drive, but other than that, what he does is on him.
We are not going to dwell on it or let it affect our lives. We both have had enough of that in the past.

Remember the serenity prayer!

hugs,
live

Live

oooo...I missed the whole cheating issue. And think I will skip over it for now.
It's degrading and humiliating and I don't ever want to be with someone I don't trust 100% again.

Noah812

You know there is no way of knowing the answer to that one is right as regardless of the truth addicts rarely tell the truth. The idea of all addcits on crack suddenly ignoring a sexual encouter is hard to comprehend. Crack users have problems performing at times from being too high but they still want to and will too try..BS to those who say otherwise...the addiction to porn is the same tie to sexual stimulation for the addcit...addicts are addicted to many things not just thier DOC. I cant say either way what your man or cinderella AH did but I would say that deny deny deny works too. I doubt that anyone else is going to ask multiple men and they are NOT going to be all saintly drug addicts and the chicks are skanks...ladies that just does not sound right...besides I have known addcits who denied they ever used any drug and once I knew they were high they denide doing anything hard just weed. Addicts are master maniputators and liars...for those who believe thier addicts has not cheated...great...hardly believable in many cases. On another note Cin I have seen today Hep C brought up here and another post as if its contracted like the plauge...I would recommend anyone with any curiousities read up on it. The transmission is virtually impossible if not a direct blood exchange only, oh and drug users who snort, thier noses get raw...sharing a dollar bill to snort could get it too. Not one example of sexual encouters has been found to be linked to hep c. If they shared share a pipe??? Get hep c...what else where they doing Cin, needles maybe??? Fact is I know a few people who have it and 5,000,000 other KNOWN documented cases in the US alone. There is a good chance many here reading could have it and not even know about it. It is called the sillent killer due to how many who have it dont know it. The vetrans, bleeders or people who got transfusions before the mid 1990's are at most risk as they were given hep c tainted blood in transfusions, there apparently were a lot of drug addicts selling tainted blood or was back then, doctors did not know it excisted and had no way to screen for it. Our vetrans spread it in the field bleeding together or via blood transfusions to save thier brothers life not knowing they had Hep C. So in a round about way many here have or will know someone with Hep C, addicts helped so much to spread hep c throughout themselves and outside thier drug addict cummunities. I would say read up as you could be wasting your money on tests you don’t need. BTW thank a vetran with Hepc this memorial day!

teke

thats what makes it so bad live. i do not trust my ah as far as i can spit him while he's active, and sober, the only reason i was willing to give it another shot and another shot was after either jail or rehab, i figured that if he was ready to get clean and sober then he may be ready to be trust worthy and patient enough for me to learn to trust him again. i also thought that at least while in prison, he had all the test. he also had them in va rehab, other than that it was no go. that was one of our biggest issues while he was here, no intimacy. i just could keep taking that chance. i wanted to skip over that one too, but the question was asked and to tell the truth live i still would have like to hear what you had to say. i guess i'm just curious like that.

Live

It upsets me, so maybe tomorrow.
I am all ready miffed about having company. I said it didn't affect me then promptly realized it isn't true. I just moved out to the patio...so that he won't put in a movie, music or stay past dark maybe if we are outside.
sorry to be selfish.
I promise I will give fresh thought and talk about this tomorrow.

teke

i'm sorry that it upsets you, i know how you feel, when i first saw the post, all of the old emotions came rushing back in, its like i had flashbacks from way back, so i do understand.

cinderellawkids

Noah, I didnt mean to step on anyones toes. I have 8 family members with hep C for many reasons and numerous times we've had their blood on us as well. Every rehab weve been involved with offered free testing for everything, we took advantage, always!! and many times we were friends with other HIV positive individuals.

Theres a huge difference in the addicts who are social addicts and the ones that go get high alone. Huge!! 90% of the time before we separated that AH was using he was alone, and when he was at the point to be interested and not waiting for next high he was with me. There was a long time in recovery where we spent lots of time with other people in recovery. In teh begiining before that point, I knew everything going on beacuse I was soo codie I was spying in every window, even pregnant got key from motel managers and spent 8 hours under a bed. Thats just how crazy I was. Before that, before I stopped him from coming home I was involved in every aspect of his day or days, I know how he is at which phases ect, and that doesnt seem to change.

Quickly back to the disease subject-Noah Ive seen blood on pipes and blood during intercourse hard core is hard core and I know people whove never used needles and never had a transfusion that have Hep

I agree with ANvil they had an affair with the drug and that in itself is enough the rest Ive chosen to let go

Noah812

Cin - You did not step on my toes only you insinuated that sharing a crack pipe with someone could spread Hep c, I wanted to make sure NO other readers here at SR believed that was possible for a second. Hep c gets blown so far out of proportion out of ignorance and stupidity. I would think since you have 8 members in your familiy as opposed to my 3 you would understand the discrimination againts people with hep c. As far as what was happening with your AH I am very sad he made your so sick but if you are sure of his where abouts, fine, 1 addict who did not lie. I would think it gets harder to believe that they were not cheating when your not in the room with them. I think all addicts should have Buyers beware stickers all over them, refeurbished...it looks like new but its not...its broken and has only be refurbished....for now anyway.

cinderellawkids

I dint mean to insinuate that above, I know too many times I leave details out. When My AH and BIL are together and drinking and using they fight rough bloody noses busted lips ect and continue to get high. When you go to an outreach center for the free tests you dont pick and choose its all or none.

With that I agree fully.

As far as how sick I was that was pre his rehab attempts which I think I got more tools from than he did, Im so thankful thats not me now.

My grandfather now deceased was one of those soldiers you mentioned. In the end his liver gave out. He was one of the lucky ones wherein it was cut early and he took immunity shots for many years.

The addicts I know with it, generally arent as fortunate due to destroying their bodies natural defenses. DAle passed 3 months after being diagnosed

Jewelz

As for cheating I do not believe my abf ever did that to me. First off if he is using he likes to be alone doesn't like to be around anyone. He despises needles with a passion and uses crack with a pipe. I've spoken to people who would come up to me and say that when ever a woman was around him he wouldnt bother and they never saw him bother with anyone. He always told me straight out that he may be a crack addict but that doesnt mean he wants aids and why would he go with a crack addict when he has a woman and if he didnt have me he had ways to take care of that. You know I think some people think that once someone is using then everything they do or say means nothing I dont believe that and if I ever believe that that means I am making excuses for his drug use. Yeah my abf has lied to me because he didnt want to hear my mouth bitch and complain but if we ever sit down and actually talk he would be totally honest with me even if I wont be happy about it. As for cheating I believe he never did but of course I get myself tested and he does get himself tested to please me. Heck you may think I am naive but for that I believe him. I think a cheater cheats whether high or not but not just because they are high...I believe thats letting them off the hook if we blame the drugs.

Thats my thought on this anyways.

Jewel

cinderellawkids

i totlally agree Jewelz and my AH has always said the same thing.

My meat balls are fabulous. I used Kjs ingrident list. Mixed them like you would meatloaf mix, rolled into balls and tehn deep fried for 2 minutes. Then put in baking dish with marinara and sprinkled with shredded cheese, backed for 10 mins and YUM

Jewelz

Oh my god cindi you just made me so hungry. My daughter wasnt hungry since she ate at my moms so I wasnt planning on cooking. I have nothing in the freezer so that leads me to ordering if I did... thinking about it.