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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 10

Old 05-21-2007, 05:28 PM
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It didnt take long Jewelz and if your good at making things without measurements knowing what they should look like, you can make half a batch or whatever. I pound of hamburger was enough for us 4, when we added the bread, but it would be easy to do ahlf that 1/2 pound burger, 1 egg, 1 cup bread crumbs ect and keep adding bread crumbs if that doesnt seem right
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:39 PM
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I'm glad they turned out good. Sorry I didnt give measurments but I didnt have any I kinda eye ball it and see the texture thats how I do it. Well back from the airport and ate dinner my meatballs turned out fabulous also. I am stuffed and heading to the couch to park my arse for the night.

Noah no offense but I thought the comment about thank a veteran with hep c was a little mean and offensive. My father is a veteran and he suffered for many years because of what he saw and what he did over there. He wont even talk about being there. I am proud of him and sad for what he saw and how it ruined his life for many years. At every parade I get tears in my eyes and stand and clap for the veterans marching I cant imagine what they went through. Also I read letters my dad had from when he was there and they would write each other and say which hooker was good and what ones were clean. Many things happened over their it doesnt matter I will thank a veteran this memorial day. Doesnt matter what they have.
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:41 PM
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I need a vent moment, hope its ok. SOmethings bugging me. MIL caklled today, during our conversation she said when your kids come too you hungry looking that bad, the mother in you kicks in they are your kids and you feed them, just dont send more with. (I agree with that) but she added moms always ahve hope its different for you you'll stop.
I ahve issues with that statement I told her nicely, Ill always have hope I just may not always be willing to involve myself. But the more I think about it, it bothers me. I married my husband in sickness and health. Ill always love him, always care and yes if he showed up skin and bones Id probably make him a sandwich if it didnt hurt us to part with the necessary items. But besides you guys Im alone here. MIL and SIL have husbands to comfort them when they are hurting over this, and I think its easier for them to detach. Im hurting for my lover, Im hurting for the person I thought Id spend my life with, Im hurting for my childrens pain and besides you guys when I lay in bed at night theres only God to comfort me.

She hates her exes, something Im nt even capable of with my first husband which I should be, Id never hate the person trapped under addiction just the things he does. She doesnt get that I dont think. No mater where life takes me and even if I decide to leave the marriage, Ill always love the man I fell in love with and always be concerned, theres a place in my heart that will always be there for him.

My mom and biological father have been divorced 22 years, and wshe'll tell you some things I say and bring up, or if I describe his yellowing from Oxy, a part of her still hurts for him, atleast she undersstands my feelings.

Does that make sense to you guys? I guess MIL doesnt know how hard it is for me to keep from going to get him, yet Im not doing that because I hope the long term outcome for all of us will benefit. Gosh do I want to run over ther and shake him and say why cant you just get it together so you can be with us...
...its just not that easy
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:43 PM
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Its okay about the measurements KJ I eyeball everything and never follow exacts anyway. I get that from my Grandpa
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:52 PM
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hey all, thanks so much for your responses. sorry if i brought up any past pain, didn't intend on that, i was just really curious about it and after hearing what you all said i realize that i'll never know for sure but like what jewlz and cinder said about them wanting to just be alone, my ah was the same. i could always finding him getting high if i wanted to, always alone, in the car in various spots, never once found anyone with him. guess he didn't want to share (LOL, have to find some humor here right??) but my ah was the same as your guys when he was clean he'd be totally honest about where he was, what he was doing even if it upset me. so all in all i do sorta believe that he never cheated but i know the possibility was there. time to let that go, can't control it right? so, those meatballs do sound good, my mom made spaghetti with chicken parm, pretty good too. kj, i agree you with on the veteran issue, my father in law was in vietnam, and although he is disease free thank god, i will be thanking him too this weekend, he is a brave wonderful man. ok, time for the babies bath time, yipeee! oh and by the way, this is my only social life to, don't you be knocking it now!! LOL. talk to you all tommorrow.
jenna
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:55 PM
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cinder, i TOTALLY understand what you are saying, my own mom said to me when i first moved here "so are you finally done with him yet" HELLOOOO he's my husband, i still love him, and no, until hes dead i am not "done", i'm doing the best i can but hes a human being and i can't just give up all hope on him, even if i move on and divorce him and remarry i will always miss and love him. and yes, i think it is easier for other family members to detach but for us spouses, we have no one else to turn to, we've lost our best friends, lovers, support everything. it just plains sucks, so go ahead and vent all you want.
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Old 05-21-2007, 05:55 PM
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this cheating conversation has really brought back memories, had to take a minute. maybe i'm wrong because my ah has always said the exact same thing to me as yours cinder and jewelz but its in my head that its not true. he tells me that he wants me but i keep accusing him of doing something that he's not doing, think i ought to believe him?
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:01 PM
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i can't make that right, i know better. and i'm not making excuses about my ah being sober, i just don't know what he's really like when sober, all i know is that when he's sober everybody knows his every move, he makes sure of that by mostly taking one of the kids with him or calling every 5 mins, letting some one know down to the minutes he'll be home. its when hes high is when i don't trust him and i'm not blaming it on the drugs, its the addict that takes the drugs that hurts the addict, not the drug itself.
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:13 PM
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I agree Teke.

Adding to my vent above. I knew my husband used, I didnt understand progression, I thought I could help him and I know he likes the high feeling but I still believe he doesnt want to live this way. My last 2 relationships left me for another woman (only to come back later, soorry) This hurts worse and cracka dn alcohol, more so alcohol cause it starts there is the other woman
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:16 PM
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teke to believe him or not really thats something only you can answer by past experiences. For now I believe my abf that he has never cheated on me but we dont know about tomorrow or the next day. I pray to god he never goes that route but I dont know. I believe because of past experiences.

My abf is the same way as well when he is sober everyone knows where he is, drives me crazy with phones calls and always wants to go out esspecially to BestBuy. When he uses he barely does anything but work and get high.
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:28 PM
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My AH is the saem way checking in constantly.
Now he may not be high but Ill know when he's mentally on the right track by his contacting pattern
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:48 PM
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god my computer is working so slow. I can not get into myspace at all and even SR is slow. I cleaned out everything off my comp and its still slow...geez
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:54 PM
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I was having same issue, I think theres something that can be replaced to help, but I dont know what it is
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:08 PM
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Sleep I wish I could get some, cant seem too no matter how tired
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:17 PM
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KJ - It seems when someone makes a point about a topic it appears mean to someone. If you read my entire post I spoke of the groups who have contracted Hep c and vetrans in the field were one that i pointed out. The fact I also pointed out to thank a vetran with hep c was not to be mean but to point our hipocrisy. On Memorial Day we tell him thank you, or those of us raised right, the other 364 we could just say he has hep c, thank him everyday for our freedoms. As it is I focused back on my original text as a point. Not everybody with hep c was a addict or should be treated as a leper. As far as veterans, I am sure you figured out I have many veterans in my family. My father did two tours in Nam and he shares the same pain with your fathers, I assure you. All things being equal when it comes to veterans I wanted to point out how things can be viewed by others reading or hearing about hep c. The media paints a picture of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson as the poster child of Hep C. Drug addicts and bigs breasted women own that disease, for now thanks to our media. Early on Noami Judd released she had contracted it and had taken medication and it was in remission. I never hear of her or her condition though she is not a lightening rod for attention like the other two above. I believe if there is blood on a pipe something is wrong with he user until you throw into it that they like to bust each other up, then it seems reasonable. As far as blood during love making or sex play, yes you can have that but I would say if it is often or regular your either too rough or have very bad timing.

It seems like to me that in the begining of the aids virus scare I remember people being so badly treated that kids could not go to school out of others fears. Justified or not, adults were pretty much treated the same way. Many of the children were free bleeders, born with a clotting factor that insured certain death for many when recieving tainted blood in a transfusion that was meant to save them. The other groups crusified were homosexual men, thier lifestyles and drug addicts for tainting the blood supply. Years and years later a famous basketball player came forward and said that that he had HIV and popular culture accepted the HIV virus which he contracted sexually. GO FIGURE. IMO hep c is getting the same immediate response or very similar response as HIV. There are many more hep c cases in the US than HIV, it is big. In any case people will (none here) speak when they should listen, people will think they know when they should learn from others and people will have hate for that which they don't understand. I would caution against that as many posts as i have seen at SR, there are quite a few A's loved ones here who also have hep c. Are they worse an addict because of it, no they are not any worse and no one else who is contracts hep c should be looked at diffrently because they are sick.

For whats its worth, I would have said in my original post to point out soccer moms, workaholics or even bikers if they were the most apt to contract hep c, that just isnt true though. Its just that the groups that I pointed out are the majority of the people who got sick before the medical field and public awareness was raised. I am not arguing with you any of you. I know no one meant any disrespect and showed none I was just pointing out Hep C is here and should be dealt with just as you would anything else, respectfully. Cin, Teke and kj thanks for the vent.

One more thing, public awareness and medical knowledge will stamp out fear!

Last edited by Noah812; 05-21-2007 at 07:36 PM.
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:25 PM
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Something about this time of night that myspace runs really slow. I was in NY and Loves in TX and it was very slow for both of us. I think its the time that most people are on and it slows their server down. Cause mine is really slow too.

Blues u dont need beauty sleep!!!! I also just have to add that without trust there really isnt much left to the relationship. I really base most of mine on trust and once its betrayed I can forgive but have a hard time forgetting.
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:28 PM
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Oh and off topic but does anyone watch deal or no deal? I just watched it and the guy had $25. 10,000 and one million on the board and was offered 305000 and said NO DEAL. F-that I'm taking the money and running but he got gready and went home with nothing. I hate it when they get greedy (sp) and they always end up walking out with a buck when they do. Dont they understand that show isnt there to pay them $ so take it when the getting is good. Boy I bet thats a long ride home and a broke ride home!!!!
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:32 PM
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Thanks Noah I misunderstood and your posts makes alot of sense after it was explained.
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:50 PM
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There is a crack/sex connection. I don't know if it has to do with the progression or what. Maybe until the addict runs into the oppertunty...who knows. I did the same thing as you all when I started hearing about it. I asked some questions and got some answers. Most were about other people but I heard things that went on..only my AH wasn't doing it.(his story) Well that thought...I couldn't' get out of my head. I paid closer attention. One night I listened to the voice mail on his phone (GOSH I AM GLAD I DON"T HAVE TO SNOOP ANYMORE) and heard on of our friends begging him to come over. She said there was an afterparty going on and there were girls spending money and "do they have some toys for him". Totally blew me away...and I am not naive. I don't think this went on the whole time he was getting high. This kind of stuff just started happening in the last year. There are rising numbers of women smoking crack...maybe that is why. Like I said though, he has told me some stories so I know ti is true. It is almost impossible to perform sexually, but the feeling is there and it is intensified by crack. Sorry ladies, I am not saying that your men have cheated but there is a connection so just keep your eyes open and protect yourselves. I don't' think my AH would have said that he got high with a female...let alone that they did anything else. I can't even believe what he has become still, that drug seems to have took over and possessed him. It totally wrecked havoc on our lives. I don't hate him, but I don't hate me either.
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:50 PM
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I'll be a post hog tonight. Having problems with nephew and because of HIPPA the dr wont accept any calls. He rx's him benzos xanax I think and he drinks and abuses them (deadly combo) and his mom tried to call his dr and let him know hes abusing them. They said they couldnt take that call because if the Dr did something it would violate HIPPA. What a bunch of crock. Thats not a violation of hippa its not a dr/patient confidentiality breach either. I told her to call back and inform them and to pass it on to the Dr and she is documenting that the Dr has been informed of the problem and he doesnt do something and her son ends up dead well then she would sue him. Not sure if she could but might put a fire under docs arse! So frustrating the Dr could help him if he knew isnt that his job? Now he knows and chooses not to listen but keep on RX'ing the drugs.

The other night he took a bunch of pills and drank got in his car and went off the road and ended up in the ditch in front of his uncles house. His probation officer followed him and watched him and didnt violate him and told the cop to let him go???? HOW!!!.. last year he took the pills drank and ran over 2 kids on their bikes and kept going and didnt remember they were in the hospital and one could have died! What does it take to get someone to do something he is a danger to others at this point!
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