teke

my mind tells me that he's happy out just doing his thing, at least there is noone to answer to. somehow i have to find a way to make myself happy too. i hate going through all the hassel of divorce, it would be better for me i think, if he went ahead and filed the paper work.

kj0975

Boy cinder I hope it doesnt turn into a migraine that would surley suck. Mine lasted about 2.5 days last week and it ruined my entire week alot of sleeping though. Yesterday was really the first day that I didnt have a headache or maybe I did but my knees hurt to bad for me to feel it. My neurologist told me if I can feel one coming and can catch it to take 4 advil liquid gels and it usually stops it that is if I tell its coming. Now I hope I dont get the double vision everytime I get one but if its a sign next time I will know what it is and get some advil in me. Give it a try.

Such a nice day and so quiet around here I love hanging out with Scott on the weekends but then I dont get anything else done cause he doesnt want to sit home either. I would like to get everything done around the house do I dont have to do it later in the day and can enjoy the day. Men are from mars I guess.

I gotta clean out the car today and check out the chkng acct to see if I still have enough $ in there to drop some off to my dad and pay for the car. Its always something isnt it. Such is life!!!

cinderellawkids

Thanks KJ just tried that, we'll see how it turns out

finallyout

good morning everyone, looks like its gonna be a beautiful day here in southern maryland, at least as good as it gets for a Monday LOL! Tried reading thru the posts from the weekend to catch up, teke, i'm sorry your having a hard time, i think maybe if you can, take a step back (mentally) and try to do something for you, something to get yourself out of your head for a while. cinder, hope its not a migraine, i get them too and they always knock me on my a$$, hope your son is feeling better too. so, red hair huh? i just highlighted mine a few weeks ago, not sure if i'm daring enuf for red, would love to see a pic though! hey cinder, i noticed too that we're the same age and our kids are very close in age to, funny huh? well i spoke several times over the weekend to AH and low and behold hes talking all about "recovery", so the question is who is this man and what did he do with my husband?? no seriously, i'm a little shocked by all the "recovery" talk coming from a man who insisted that NA was bull and he didn't believe any of that "crap" i know this is good news about him going to meetings and being so determined to stay clean but i just got good at keeping him at a distance cuz he was using now i have to figure out how to deal with a recovering husband? ARGHHHH! can anyone tell me the rules on this one?! of course it hasn't been very long since he got out of jail and i know the bottom could fall out any moment but honestly its been years (like 10 yrs) since i heard him talk like this, i'll be able to read him a little better this weekend, i'm taking the kids to visit him, i figure i'd better take them now while hes clean instead of waiting and then who knows, they might not get to see him at all if he ends up using again, ok i'm just rambling now, hope everyone has a great day.

Jewelz

hey guys, I'm tired this morning.. I am really not in the mood to be at work till 5pm. Hate to say it I am in the mood to shop but dont have the money to. I was looking through the clearance section at target and then noticed I forgot my wallet at home, well i hope i did forget it at home everything but my money is in there. At least I have enough money on me to get home but I hate knowing that I cant get money from anywhere.

I need a vacation.

finallyout

ditto on the vacation, jewelz. now i have a headache too, i hope this is not a prelude to what this days gonna be like.

teke

sorry anvil, "that dog don't hunt"? no don't understand.

Live

I lost it laughing....so I am not the only one who will buy a 3 pack of socks rather than do laundry?
I hate laundry! I am still trying to arrange an exchange here...LOL....I am very good at dusting and oiling furniture, I like to wash floors.
I also sympathize about...now if the laundry is clean and folded, where does it go?
We are living in a small mobile home. I still have a five bedroom farmhouse of furniture and accessories stored at my daughter's in Indiana. Some day I am going to own a place big enough to have all my stuff in one place before I die. Then she gets it all back LOL

I don't have to go to work today Na-na-na-na-na! LOL
Maybe I can put a pry bar under my butt and do some housework. Y'all were making me feel like slob of the site!

oh this is too funny, hubby just walked into the room singing Paul Simon's "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover"...and he has no idea who I am chatting with or what about. I broke up. Hell, I'll just give him the car keys, he'll have to come back, his ice cream is in the freezer!

Anyway...Teke.....those first 30 days were so damned hard. The only thing that kept me going was this site and the accountability of counting the days and not wanting to mess up my count. That credibility was about all the dignity I had left!
But, to me, no contact was NO contact...no checking up, talking to others who knew him, nothing. I was a real mess.
It is so hard to leave things alone! And I had to get to where I was completely humiliated before I did this. That...and he moved another woman in when he thought I was in Michigan on a job. But I know him, he would have picked a fight with her and had her out when it was time for me to return. I just didn't leave town on schedule.
Icky, huh?

cinderellawkids

Ive had taht question before. What do you do? Take a few deep breaths relax and see if he's still their in 90 days...

I am feeling better about not court ordering my AH now. because the person I talked to yesterday was clear headed enough to make his choices (and fool a judge) its on him... But I awoke this morning thinking...he is not gonna get that power on... if he does, he'll defiantely not follow through the following week with their responsibilities... Thats what I beleive in my gut. No false illusions. He's in the between Ive seen so many times, yesterday he had the mentality of the person I loved being with, he remembered and missed the good times. But my gut doesnt think he's had enough and tehn again he's with his bro. DOnt like that guy, dont think much of him and know they rub off on each other. Until he stops being codependant with him and expecting him to get it together and help as well, he'll continue to cycle

cinderellawkids

Im realizing that as hard is it is brings the most peace.

Live-your in Central Florida too? We went from none near me to several!!! Anyone want to join me at the national alanon convention in Daytona in September that Babs so graciously reminded me of?

finallyout

cinder, yeah definately got to give my ah more time before i believe any of it. don't ya just hate when one day there the man you love and then the next there acting like the devil again. mine was very good at that too. i'd go with your gut on this too, unfortunately its usually right, isn't it? better to be safe than sorry. i do agree that he needs to get away from the brother. i have a new rule about NOOOO toxic people in my life and made that very clear to my ah, for the first time he agreed with me, which is a little weird. for my husband its his so-called "best friend". i put in no uncertain terms that if "mitch" is in his life, i will not be. there is no good coming from that relationship, "mitch" is about as toxic as a person can get and will never get his act together. my husband agreed, which pretty much blew me away and i was actually speechless, first time in like forever for me!! LOL. i really hope that your husband gets enuf clear headed days to make the right choices, wouldn't it be nice if we could just make those choices for them? oh yeah, we tried that, didn't work did it! hows that headache?

Live

oh....also....I had headaches everyday and migraines so very often. I am scared of migraines! When I finally got a new life I stopped having headaches except around time for my period. And there is a really good treatment for that.

So I offer the hope of being headache-free in more ways than one!

I did go see a chiropractor Friday because I was getting headaches...but I knew what was wrong and part of it was stress because hubby had been sick for 3 months. .....I have an injured vertebra in my neck and my jaws don't hinge right. Stress tightens our muscles and helps yank these things into painful position. He asked if I had fallen. I told him I have been falling on my head since trying to learn to walk! Under "hobbies" I put napping. LOL

I get in trouble when I take myself too seriously!

Best to each of you today! And cold packs along with the painkillers! Relaxation excercises, breathing meditations. The pain itself creates more stress. Please take care!

cinderellawkids

Headaches fading. 4 advil helped, gonna take 4 more at 11:30 before the others wear off.

Finally you are so right. Ah has cut his bro off before. Basically on his own he will not but when we are together he hardly has time for his bros neediness, until he's mentally relapsing. I always think he uses him as an excuse. And family is family, you know. Ive seen his clean and sober for months asking me to help him drag his bro out of a bad sitation and a crack motel room. He does well when Im there, but everytime after coming that close he uses within 18 hours. So poor man is an addict and codependant...Oh well its his recovery in his life choices not mine. My hormones are making me crave intamincy for him, Im praying to not think about it, not dwell on it, focus on other things

cinderellawkids

ROFL. I like your wit. I want to develop more of that. Thats my new goal. Did you se my post to you above?

finallyout

oohh, cinder, eventhough i'm not exactly close to florida, i'd love to go to that convention, have to see if i can fit it in my budget though. hey, how far is daytona from Ft. myers? i have a friend there i haven't seen in years and maybe i can see her and do the convention! that would be such a blast. gotta look into definately.

Jewelz

cindi have you tried Aleve? They work wonders much better than advil or motrin.

Well guys I posted on Teach's thread.. hmm I let a lot out and feel much better.

Live, when I was a teenager I would get headaches everyday god I hated them. then when I moved out it stopped for a long time. When I lived at home it was an extremely dysfunctional home... even though my home is not perfect I dotn believe its as bad as when I was a kid.

teke

i'm here you guys, just don't have much to say in the way of support right now, i think i might need to just read for a little while, maybe take a nap. i think you are right, stress maybe causing my back pain and my back pain seems to bringing along more stress. don't know whether its getting better or worse. i think i'll take some time out to read my bible, it always help me to get through these first few wks.

sorry about you guys suffering with these migraines. i used to have them too. don't know what happened but i haven't had one in yrs, used to have them on a regular basis.

no live, i have to be the slob of the site right now, i have some energy but just don't feel like doing anything, if i did, that would mean that i would have to totally ignore the pain in my back and i'm afraid that that would make it worse on me tonite.

Live

That dog don't hunt......I love it, I used to say that, was one of my favorite sayings. Guess it comes from us country folk. I got a big kick out of seeing it here.


Let's see....if we were all sitting around brainstorming ideas and someone said "That won't fly"...it is kind of the same.

Used to men hunted. For meat and sport. That dog won't hunt means it won't work, it's useless, ...I guess better translated...."I don't believe that" would be the best way to explain "That dog won't hunt"....and "I am not buying it."

teke

thanks live, now i'll go back and read what was said. wasn't i suppose to know that?

Live

Fort Meyers is on the Gulf side and Daytona is on the Atlantic, but wow, if you could do both, that would be a fun time! (Guessing 6 hours apart, maybe less)

Sorry...but I am on a budget and if I decide to go to the coast (either one) I will go to the places I really love and enjoy. I love Vero Beach and the Patio restaurant on the ocean side of the state and on the Bay side I would head to Tarpon Springs and hang out with the Greeks.

I don't attend al-anon, although I used to. But I KNOW you all will have a great time at the convention. Do it for yourselves, you will be refreshed and have fun.

Thank you all so much for welcoming me to your thread.! It means an awful lot to me.

Teke, one thing I take ever so seriously is back problems! Whatever you do, do not use heat. It feels very good but actually increases the inflammation. Can you lay flat on your back on the floor with cold packs running down your spine. And lay very straight with perfect posture. It may hurt and you may have to bend your knees if it is too painful to lay with them straight. Don't lift anything. Don't twist. Take care of it before it takes care of you. yeah, yeah....bossy, bossy, bossy.