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One Year and Under Club Part 50

Old 01-01-2016, 11:48 AM
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Stargazer - We alcoholics ARE a lot alike! For years I resisted seeing my similarities to other alcoholics because I was married, a homeowner, had a job, friends, and a halfway decent reputation. One of the first lessons I learned was to focus on what I have in common with others struggling with addition, instead of what I thought made me different from them.

BoozeFree - It's great to hear that you're going to meetings. If you're feeling lonely, or stressed over family drama, or are isolating yourself in front of the TV, reaching out for support and/or offering to support others can help.

Amp - I'm glad you feel good about waking up sober in 2016, and all of the changes for the better that sobriety offers you! Last year I struggled with integrating myself into my family and friends' celebrations of the holidays and New Year. By the time the holidays rolled around I had enough sober time under my belt that I saw the benefits of sobriety, and knew I didn't want to turn back to drinking. I didn't feel all that comfortable in my sober skin, though, and I felt awkward and irritated at times. I didn't feel comfortable at parties, around people who were drinking, but I didn't have a community of people in my life who were non drinkers aside from AA or SR. That network of people saved my life - and continue to help me awaken to the amazing things life has to offer in sobriety.

In retrospect, I don't remember many of the little details of what happened during my last few years drinking - OR my first year sober! I think it goes to show that even though sobriety is physically and mentally good for you, it is stressful to learn how to be a sober person. I hope that my experience also shows that with time and practice, sober muscles grow, along with comfort in your sober skin. For example, last night I welcomed New Year with the same friends as last year. We even did the exact same thing as last year - ate good food, played games, and laughed our way into the New Year. Some folks drank. Last year I felt awkward and irritated, but this year I felt comfortable and like I belonged. At 22 months sober I feel light years better than I felt at 10 months, as promised by others who did it before me.

Happy New Year, Undies!!
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Old 01-01-2016, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
KIR,

I'm pleased that I had no physical cravings and didn't even think to take a pill that would have enabled me to relatively safely have a drink (it's still not good for my liver and is not a risk I want to take). It's simply so not worth it!
!
Saskia, it that pill Naltrexone, or a variant? I have read that it cuts off the high from booze in the brain and allows some people to drink moderately.

I would not want to take a risk with that at this point ,nor do I see any point in ever drinking again personally, but it might have been helpful during the first weeks of recovery. Interesting to ponder. Glad you enjoyed a sober New Year!
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Old 01-01-2016, 01:02 PM
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Stargazer, yes, that is naltrexone but a very specific generic manufacturer. I started taking it when I briefly slipped at around 7 months sober. I have PTSD and have had gastric bypass so I am at especially high risk of relapse.

For me, if I had had it available at the beginning, I have significant doubts that I would have done all the work I needed to do to turn my life around. I've read stories of a number of people who tried to use it to drink moderately and it didn't work out over the long run. I took a total of 20 pills over a period of about 8 months. After each pill, I found that I really disliked alcohol (and yes, it is supposed to block the opiate receptors). So time between pills kept stretching out until I had no more cravings.

I don't believe that there are good shortcuts but some of us need a bit of help in staying sober. And finally, naltrexone can also cause liver problems so taking it regularly over a longer timeframe is also problematical.

I am certainly very glad I had it available but do have reservations about its use.
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Old 01-01-2016, 02:36 PM
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Hi to everyone xx
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Old 01-01-2016, 03:43 PM
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Hi petals

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Old 01-01-2016, 03:47 PM
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Hi Petals!
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Old 01-01-2016, 04:57 PM
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Hi Petals! I hope you're well!

Saskia - I'm glad you were able to use the medication as intended, then cut it out before developing any complications.
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Old 01-01-2016, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by gleefan View Post
Stargazer - We alcoholics ARE a lot alike! For years I resisted seeing my similarities to other alcoholics because I was married, a homeowner, had a job, friends, and a halfway decent reputation. One of the first lessons I learned was to focus on what I have in common with others struggling with addition, instead of what I thought made me different from them.

Happy New Year, Undies!!
Thanks glee. I am starting to realize the same thing now. Looking back I guess I was pretty lucky
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Old 01-01-2016, 06:16 PM
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Getting caught up a little. Didn't work today and my second home the gym was closed, been just lazing around all day, watched a movie, perused the online sales today but after several hours didn't find much to actually jump on. Daughter is being kicked out of her current living situation which is nothing new except the difference of having a 3 month old and a year old.... she is an alcoholic and so is her boyfriend even though no one else seems to think it is a problem. She has accused my husband of sexual abuse so staying here is not an option. She is a pathological liar and her accusations aren't true but there's no way she could stay here and not lose face with her 'friends' and the boyfriend's family. I haven't tried calling her but she friended me on facebook (she had blocked me before) so I left her a message telling her we are here and she can call me. That's all I seem to be able to do right now. I just recently found out she had been doing meth as well that I had know nothing about. My parents said they wouldn't take her and I told my stepdad I wouldn't fork out any money unless one or both went through a treatment program-- it's never going to be fixed until she makes up her mind to quit. I guess it's going to take eventually losing the kids-- I told my stepdad wouldn't it be nice if they could just go through the process before that happens...no one gets it. I guess we'll see if the boyfriends family picks them up again-- this is his grandma that's kicking them out--she gave them 30 days notice, I think that's fair. The 'friends' never help in any way. I'm going to start going to al anon meetings as well as aa I think. She did 'cut back' as far as I know, having the kids but we all know how successful everyone is with that and she said he did too but I know they still smoke pot and it's difficult to pass a drug test when you do that so you wonder where his priorities are. I know where mine were when I was drinking.
The job is going great and everything else is great as well, I had one moment where I felt like having a glass of wine at the relatives but everyone knows I quit so I couldn't do that lol. Am almost 8 months sober now, the fatigue thing is still around but not on a daily basis, I think it's just because I do so much that sometimes it just catches up with me. Think I'll call my parent snow to see if they've talked to the girl lately-- I feel so helpless in this situation... cya guys.
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Old 01-01-2016, 06:41 PM
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(((BlueFairy)))! So sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. I think it's so tough on a parent to have to deal with stuff like that.

Great to hear you are close to 8 months sober - awesome job in any event and even more so with what you are dealing with!
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Old 01-01-2016, 09:20 PM
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A friend of mine from DC rented a beach house here in town for New Year's so I stopped by to toast with them today. Of course I asked for some sparkling water once I got there. Everybody there was drinking wine and champagne. He knows I haven't been drinking because I told him I was taking a break, so he asks me all the time. (I was talking to him the last night I drank so I don't know why he would ever want me to drink again!!!!) .What I recall of that conversation was me telling him we will kiss the next time he's in town so I can see if he kisses like a straight guy, along with a bunch of other stupid nonsense. SMH.
Anyway, his partner brought me some more water and said, " here is your Vodka and tonic" ..... It was kinda cute that he was trying to make me not feel awkward.
It was a nice visit and when I left my friend made the comment that the next time he's in town we will need to drink a little and have some fun. I said, " I'm fun even if I don't drink!" I should have a few months to let him know I'm not drinking again. It didn't bother me at all not to drink, but it does bother me to tell my friends never again. I feel somewhat embarrassed. Why is that?
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Old 01-01-2016, 10:12 PM
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Hi everyone. I only posted in here a few times, I wanna say last April, but I've spent more time reading through this thread than any other on SR. I want to thank this entire group of loving, feeling, thinking posters for helping me along my sober journey.

A week ago, on Christmas Day, I crossed the one-year-sober mark. It's absolutely been the greatest growth year of my life and one of the most all-around amazing. My life has improved in every aspect. Happy 2016 to all of you!
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Old 01-01-2016, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by metadude View Post
Hi everyone. I only posted in here a few times, I wanna say last April, but I've spent more time reading through this thread than any other on SR. I want to thank this entire group of loving, feeling, thinking posters for helping me along my sober journey.

A week ago, on Christmas Day, I crossed the one-year-sober mark. It's absolutely been the greatest growth year of my life and one of the most all-around amazing. My life has improved in every aspect. Happy 2016 to all of you!
Congratulations. That is so. Awesome.
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Old 01-02-2016, 12:11 AM
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Congratulations metadude

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Old 01-02-2016, 01:57 AM
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Congratulations Metadude, I am glad you found support here. Now you have qualified for the One Year and Over, come see some familiar faces there!!

BF, my heart goes out to you, it is awful watching your children making mistakes and not being able to help. Al-anon might be a really good idea for support.

When I first found SR I had come online looking for ways to drink in moderation, if I had known then that there was a pill that would help, I would have taken it and my pain would have continued because moderation would never have been enough. Only removing alcohol from my future has worked. I thought it would be a negative (giving up, quitting, unable to etc. ) But actually it is a positive it is a release, a freedom, a gain.

Most of my friends, be they drinkers or Normies, struggle with understanding why I chose never to drink again. Fact is, it doesn't matter if they ever understand why. It only matters that I do.
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Old 01-02-2016, 02:28 AM
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Sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles BlueFairy. It must be very hard for you at this time. We have a similar situation in my family with one if my sisters. I guess acceptance is the hardest part. You can only change what is in your hand to change. My heart goes out to you.

Toots, I totally understand what you are talking about here. The reasons why you have decided to live your life without alcohol in it are really only your concern. People don't get it sometimes so they'll have to continue not getting it. It won't do them any harm. I was asked on New Year's Eve if I was still off the drink and how long I planned to go on like that. I just said I'm good and happy as I am right now and time will tell but I really hope with all my heart that I never drink again. It can only do harm. Do I need another reason?

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 01-02-2016, 04:25 AM
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Metadude, big congrats on 1 year sober! I'm glad you decided to share that with us.

Toots, I knew about the meds but decided not to pursue that avenue initially and am very happy with the way everything worked out. I firmly believe that all of the effort I have (and will continue) to put into this has been part of my growth. Using them as a short-term boost after I had been sober awhile worked for me. I feel better knowing that I have a backup option. I think many people starting here on SR are hoping to find a short cut but I don't believe there are any if we want to truly live a sober life.
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Old 01-02-2016, 05:20 AM
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Congratulations on 1 year metadude! I'm glad you have found this thread helpful. The great people have helped me a lot too.

Congratulations for staying sober for almost 8 months BlueFairy. I'm sorry about the problems your daughter is having.

Keepnitreal- Congratulations for staying sober under pressure at that party. Yes it is tough feeling embarrassed to tell your friends you will never drink again. I can understand not wanting to say never again to a friend. But sobriety is a big lifestyle change and I hope your friends know that you are just saying no to alcohol and not to them. Who knows, but down the road you could even be a role model for them.

Amp- Yes alcohol can only do harm. I can't think of a better reason to stay sober either.
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Old 01-02-2016, 08:15 AM
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Hey everybody! Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year! I have some catching up to do in this thread. I hope you're all doing well. I'm still here, just have limited posting time still. I am doing well because I choose to be doing well! 5 months 13 days, I am really proud of this that I am finally doing something right!
I wrote in another thread that I am seeing that it's how we handle the up's and down's. Life is life and I can't control anything of it. I can control my attitude and approach. Life won't always be peachy, but I choose how that affects me. I can still have a good day on a not-so-good day if I choose to. Today, I am still working on my positivity and recognizing when that sour puss voice comes knocking. I close the door and say NO. A lot of my problem is how I have related to myself all these years. I wouldn't treat anyone the way I've treated myself. Today, I am doing good. It's a new year, and I am hopeful for good things. Not dramatic, just good things. Lol
((Hug)) to you ALL!
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Old 01-02-2016, 08:20 AM
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And hugs to you, Key! Good going on the sober time and your awareness of things you want to change. Changes and drinking simply don't go well together.
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