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One Year and Under Club Part 50

Old 12-25-2015, 07:25 PM
  # 241 (permalink)  
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I hope you all had a great day! :-)
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:50 AM
  # 242 (permalink)  
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First hangover free Boxing Day for over 25 years. Feeling good
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:03 AM
  # 243 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by paul37 View Post
I hope you all had a great day! :-)
I did have a great day! I visited with some relatives and even though there was plenty of wine there I stayed sober. Now this morning I need to walk off that Christmas meal!
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:25 AM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Sober Christmas with sober husband.
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:26 AM
  # 245 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by paul37 View Post
I hope you all had a great day! :-)
Thanks, Paul!

I had a lovely day, relaxing and yummy :-). When I was drinking I never appreciated and enjoyed good food but I seem to be making up for lost time. Second sober Christmas for me and I was amazed how easy this one was. Out of 6 at our table, 4 drank wine and/or prosecco and I didn't even give it a second thought. Sober is the new normal now. The rewards of staying sober are great enough that I feel no interest in ever going back.
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:53 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Great job everybody!
How did it feel for you AMP? 25 years is a long time !
I had a couple of fleeting thoughts, but otherwise did great. It's funny how that can change on a dime though! I was actually able to fill up drink glasses for guests and had an open bottle sitting right next to me while we were playing games, all without a thought of drinking. But if I was emotional, hungry, angry.... That could have been completely different.
I have noticed that once the event starts, and I have already said no, then it's pretty easy, my struggle comes while I'm preparing for the event in my mind.
It's almost a new year. I can't believe how quickly 2015 passed by!
A big hug to all of you!
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Old 12-26-2015, 05:15 PM
  # 247 (permalink)  
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Keepnitreal- I was offered some wine and when I said I'm not drinking anymore I got nods of approval and it was very easy for me too.
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Old 12-26-2015, 07:34 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
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Hey undies.
Just got done catching up on some posts.
I've been staying busy working and going to some more meetings.
I need to get back in the habit of daily check ins. I'm not sure why I've been slacking on here. SR has always been a big help for me.
I hadn't been studying really at all the past 2 weeks, so much family drama I've been super distracted.
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Old 12-26-2015, 07:40 PM
  # 249 (permalink)  
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Hi BFree - glad you checked in :-)

For me, the daily reading/posting on SR helps to keep my sobriety front and center every day. After I went for 13 years sober and then relapsed, I finally "got it" that for me this is not only Job #1 but it is vital for my health and happiness. If I take that for granted again, I'm not sure I'd survive long.
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Old 12-26-2015, 08:05 PM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Hi BFree - glad you checked in :-)

For me, the daily reading/posting on SR helps to keep my sobriety front and center every day. After I went for 13 years sober and then relapsed, I finally "got it" that for me this is not only Job #1 but it is vital for my health and happiness. If I take that for granted again, I'm not sure I'd survive long.
Wow Saskia-
A relapse after 13 years. That must have been terrifying. If you're up for sharing one day I would love to hear your story.
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Old 12-27-2015, 01:53 AM
  # 251 (permalink)  
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KIR, one of the reasons that keeps me posting and reading daily on SR is the real fear that in my complacency I might allow that first drink. Sass is in no way unique in having a long term of sobriety and then drinking again. I know that at some point further down the line, my quietly ignored AV could pop up and say ' wow, we've been sober for so long now, it really won't do us any harm to have one glass of wine/ champagne/ brandy/ insert-drink-of-choice-here.... I need to keep in mind that AV is just that an alcoholic voice; an addiction voice. The part of me that cannot let go of the possibility of another drink. Well the other 99.999r doesn't want to, and staying here ensures enough reminders to maintain my commitment.

Paul I had a lovely day with family,

Amp, isn't it wonderful?

Hugs Undies
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Old 12-27-2015, 04:58 AM
  # 252 (permalink)  
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Hi Undies

I hope everyone had happy, peaceful holidays. I hosted Christmas Eve. Much to my surprise the couple bottles of wine we bought went untouched! I sent my SIL home with half the leftovers and an unopened bottle of red (my former DOC). It just doesn't make sense for me to keep my former DOC in my house.

Holidays can be emotionally fraught for me. Growing up, and well into my adulthood, my step mother would start fights and emotionally blackmail us over the holidays.

On my mom's side, there were aunts and uncles who my mom felt we had to spend time with to avoid being the subject of their gossip.

Today I have the clarity to see how these patterns played into my unrealistic expectations of the holidays as an adult. I am used to big emotions, and alcohol sure fueled that, so when I had my first holiday sober, it seemed flat, like a certain emotional frenzy was missing. Nope, just craziness!!

This year I just ignored my mom and stepmothers attempts to drag me in to their drama. It's was a simple plan, easy to execute, and it worked. The 12 steps have given me clarity I never had to see the emotional games others are playing, and the tools to calmly avoid them.

Overall it was a lovely day. My favorite gifts were handmade cards from each of my kids that they made while they had a sleepover with each other last weekend. Over my next few days off I'm organizing the house and doing some fun activities with the kids.

I owe my satisfaction with the moment to sobriety. It's bringing true peace, serenity, and joy this holiday season.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:09 AM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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Glee- good that your holidays went well. I agree that staying sober brought me a good sense of peace and serenity as well.
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Old 12-27-2015, 06:12 AM
  # 254 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Great job everybody!
How did it feel for you AMP? 25 years is a long time !
Hey all! Yeah...it felt good. I was more involved and plugged in and had a couple of good conversations that I doubt I would have had (or remembered!) had I been drinking. My brother, I think, found my not drinking harder than I did but he went ahead and got wasted anyway. I feel glad to not be doing that. I also noticed that his getting wasted only took a couple of hours. A really small part of the day and it just seems unnecessary. It felt like looking in on my old life from outside. I feel like I upgraded!!!

Sure, a glass of fantastic wine would have been nice. The Stilton cheese was great, the Christmas pudding fantastic. The roast potatoes. It's only one thing I don't have and it's fine.

I've really noticed how people in my family don't relax and let their hair down till the drinks come out. I never noticed how deeply drinking is ingrained in my family culture.

Feels good to be out. Just better.

Take care all
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Old 12-27-2015, 06:41 AM
  # 255 (permalink)  
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KIR, yes, Toots nailed it. For a really quick version:
I started drinking when I was 20 and when I was 21 I drank til I passed out at weekend poker parties - I didn't drink during the week. I easily stopped drinking when I was trying to get pregnant at 27 and stayed sober for about 5 years. I started and stopped a couple more times. When I stopped before those 13 sober years, I had no withdrawal problems and I found stopping easy.

This last time I started about a year after gastric bypass. A single glass of wine did it. I didn't get the AV monkey off my back for 3 years. Nightmare. I have no family history of alcoholism but I do have a history of severe trauma at a very young age. I drank to blot out the world. I cannot moderate. I am now 71 with a liver that's not in great shape. It had reached the next to final stage of cirrhosis before gastric bypass. My liver is now almost normal but I will always be at high risk for liver cancer. I have screenings twice a year. So if I were to start again, the odds are against my surviving very long. There are other physical effects that can be equally bad that I have no wish to experience.

The good news is that our bodies have an amazing ability to recover -- until we are past the point of no return. At my age, that probability was becoming downright scary.

Oops, that got longer than I intended! I'm actually not trying to scare anyone ... merely point out some realities that I had never been aware of when I was younger and feeling invincible and immortal. I wish I had known more.

I know with certainty that if I want to be around to enjoy this life, it can only be as a sober person. So I will do whatever it takes with no complaints.

ok, sermon over
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Old 12-27-2015, 07:15 AM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Good Morning Undies,

Wow, what a crazy day again here in the northeast (PA), going to be mid 60's. I played golf on Christmas Eve and it was amazing outside. So here is my dilemma, nice enough to golf AGAIN today, yet, I birdied my last hole Christmas Eve day and was happy to end the golf year on a high note. Decisions - decisions....

Ahhh, finally that last point leads me to a point of discussion. It is so nice to feel at peace and not living in chaos. A major consequence from my past was cleared up just two days ago. I received my driver's licence without any restrictions. Over the past 51 months I had a valid/non-restricted driver's licence for exactly 27 days...21 months ago (between dui's 2 and 3 in 10 years). It has either been suspended and I could not drive at all, or, restricted for work only with an ignition interlock - then I could drive anytime but with that stupid blower asking me to breath in it like every 20 fricken minutes.

Don't get me wrong...I accept the consequences, but, it was the BEST holiday gift of all to have that restriction lifted.

Adding to my lack of chaos is my trying to live right now-present tense...between claps...right there...between claps of my hand. My mind is not burdened with past bad deeds and considering the "wreckage of my future." Funny stuff, the wreckage of my future...loved hearing that...because, when active in my addiction, I was always contemplating future wreckage and mayhem.

Consequently, to golf or not on 12/27 in PA is all good!

Let me see what was written:

Sask, no sermon to me...just a good read.

Amp, watching your brother is like seeing the past...interesting. I am glad that I didn't learn your method for getting wasted in a couple hours. In the end, for me, reaching a place that turned off the madness between my ears took quite a lot of work.

Glee, I so enjoy reading about your work on emotional sobriety. I am currently trying to wrap my head around the difference between the 9th and 12th steps as they relate to my relationship with my oldest. I heard some interesting takes on the difference. Wish I was a bit further along...oh, easy does it. Think, think, think stops at 3, past 3 with no resolve I'm pretty sure that I am back driving the bus.

BF, I've heard that old people, places and things will take us back out. Any movement on the sponsor? Hey, no more slacking on here...okay! This time WE make it to over's...

Congrats WWS, Strag, Paul, beaut and KIR for the good work at saying NO and feeling comfortable about it.

Toots, happy holiday's. Feel better soon!

Well, off to talk to a man about a horse.

Let's keep this clean and sober thing going another day, okay...

Carlos

PS: Hey Key of C, thinking about you...all okay?
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Old 12-27-2015, 01:02 PM
  # 257 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
KIR, yes, Toots nailed it. For a really quick version:
I started drinking when I was 20 and when I was 21 I drank til I passed out at weekend poker parties - I didn't drink during the week. I easily stopped drinking when I was trying to get pregnant at 27 and stayed sober for about 5 years. I started and stopped a couple more times. When I stopped before those 13 sober years, I had no withdrawal problems and I found stopping easy.

This last time I started about a year after gastric bypass. A single glass of wine did it. I didn't get the AV monkey off my back for 3 years. Nightmare. I have no family history of alcoholism but I do have a history of severe trauma at a very young age. I drank to blot out the world. I cannot moderate. I am now 71 with a liver that's not in great shape. It had reached the next to final stage of cirrhosis before gastric bypass. My liver is now almost normal but I will always be at high risk for liver cancer. I have screenings twice a year. So if I were to start again, the odds are against my surviving very long. There are other physical effects that can be equally bad that I have no wish to experience.

The good news is that our bodies have an amazing ability to recover -- until we are past the point of no return. At my age, that probability was becoming downright scary.

Oops, that got longer than I intended! I'm actually not trying to scare anyone ... merely point out some realities that I had never been aware of when I was younger and feeling invincible and immortal. I wish I had known more.

I know with certainty that if I want to be around to enjoy this life, it can only be as a sober person. So I will do whatever it takes with no complaints.

ok, sermon over
Thank you for sharing Saskia!
It's a damn scary disease and nobody knows when they cross the line to a place where it's too late for our livers!
My early drinking days sound like yours, but the last 10 + were pretty solid. My drinking went from a couple of glasses of wine for "social" gatherings to a bottle plus on average, about 4 nights a week.
Im planning on getting a physical after the new year because I haven't had blood tests in 2-3 years. (I've been a bit afraid)
Last night was very interesting. My sons GF of 8 years rolled her SUV on the highway around 1am on the way to our house. My son drove to the accident and then I drove separately and met them at the hospital.
Long story short she is ok. cat scans were normal, a couple of stitches in her head and she's banged up, but soooo lucky! What I was pleased about was that I was SOBER and I could drive myself to the hospital and support her, my son, and her family. 50 days ago I would have been drunk and not capable of being there for them.
This felt like real freedom!!! Thank you everybody for your support!
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:39 PM
  # 258 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the sermon Saskia!

Seriously thanks for sharing this as it is a good reminder of the lasting effects of alcohol and that it is an addictive poison that we are much better-off without.

Thanks Carlos and Keepnitreal for your stories as well. I need to hear these to keep motivated not to let my guard down.
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Old 12-27-2015, 06:29 PM
  # 259 (permalink)  
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Old 12-27-2015, 08:15 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
First hangover free Boxing Day for over 25 years. Feeling good
Been thirty some years since I wasn't drinking on Christmas.

I had to laugh. My mother was drinking a small glass of wine, which is truly the second time I have ever seen her drink. She was so proud of me at Thanksgiving for quitting drinking, yet she, of all people, offered me some wine!

Life can be absurd at times! Glad everyone had a good holiday!
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