One Year and Under Club Part 50
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
I found this person's story interesting. Reinvention over 19 months starting with dripping the poison!
Just thought I'd share this great recovery story:
http://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2014...9-sober-months
Just thought I'd share this great recovery story:
http://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2014...9-sober-months
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Fradley- Congrats on 6 months!!
When I stopped drinking I was fatigued, too. I suspect that the "pep" that I felt the morning after drinking was fueled by anxiety from a hangover, as opposed to healthy energy. It took a while to level out.
I know you mentioned you have young children; I have 11 and 9 year old active, athletic boys, and I work full time. Between work and their sports schedules, I get little down time. The energy that fuels me now keeps me going at a steady pace. The past month the schedule has been bonkers. I haven't been home the last three weekends. Literally I stayed in hotels two of the last three weekends and the weekend home was only home to put my head on the pillow. I'm exhausted but it's the kind of fatigue that one would expect from having little to no downtime. My point is, maybe you're tired because of your schedule!!
When I stopped drinking I was fatigued, too. I suspect that the "pep" that I felt the morning after drinking was fueled by anxiety from a hangover, as opposed to healthy energy. It took a while to level out.
I know you mentioned you have young children; I have 11 and 9 year old active, athletic boys, and I work full time. Between work and their sports schedules, I get little down time. The energy that fuels me now keeps me going at a steady pace. The past month the schedule has been bonkers. I haven't been home the last three weekends. Literally I stayed in hotels two of the last three weekends and the weekend home was only home to put my head on the pillow. I'm exhausted but it's the kind of fatigue that one would expect from having little to no downtime. My point is, maybe you're tired because of your schedule!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
I just wanted to say thank you from my heart for all your comments, I re-read them. It helps me so much. Just to know I'm not crazy, I'm not all alone. So many things to learn and fix. It overwhelms me. I'm a person that starts cleaning one thing and before you know it, now the whole house is torn apart and being cleaned, but before I lay down, it will all be done. Maybe not that dramatic just a visual example there, you get the drift. This is learned behavior and drives me nuts. Drives me anxious. Drives me insane. Learning to slow down, calm down, let go, not control, detach with love...why can't I just have learned it already (is how my mind sees all these issues). I'm my worst critic and enemy! I know you understand. I'm not perfect, nor is my life, nor is anything. How hard is that to accept?
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,163
See Key, I will start clearing up the living room and carry a cup through to the kitchen which will have me washing up, then I'll put dishes away and realise the cupboards need cleaned so I'll start that and decide some of the crap could really go out in the garage, so I'll head out there with a pile and realise that I need to straighten a few things in there before I can make room. Then I notice how dirty the car is and fetch the hose but while I'm doing the car I think hmmm bet those plants could use some water, if I don't do it now I'll forget, so I head off to do the plants and notice a few weeds, so I grab my gardening gloves and pull a few up before deciding that I need to cut the last of the flowers for a vase before they die off so I cut them and go into the house for a vase and put them in the living room just as hubby comes home and says ' the house is a mess what have you been doing all day' and I am confused as to why because I haven't stopped!........
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Undies
Carlos - I never, ever in a million years would have predicted these kinds of rewards when I started on my sober journey.
I've always been relatively insightful but it hasn't been until I worked on the 12 steps with a sponsor that I've drilled into the core of my issues. This process has opened my mind to patterns that, insightful as I was, I never saw.
In active addiction I have been super defensive. If someone has feedback or disagrees with me, I take that as an all-out assault, feeling physically and mentally as if I've been attacked. In addiction I would mobilize others to agree with me, then go on the counterattack.
I no longer need to check to see if anyone agrees with me. That is a huge amount of peace of mind right there.
In recovery I have been taught that if I don't know what to say, I can say nothing, but I struggle to put that to action. With the recent unfolding of events with my son's hockey team, where he was the brunt of some bad behavior, I was so uncomfortable with my reaction. It was based on my physical feelings of anger and fear.
I wondered how I was ever going to get past my anger. I talked about it with Carlos and a couple of trusted friends in recovery. I wrote about it here on SR. I discussed it with my sponsor.
Then a couple weeks later it occurred to me: My step mother was verbally abusive. My father stood passively by and my mother never spoke against it. I need to re-learn how to handle conflict and adversity from a position of confidence, strength, morals, and trust in a higher power. /b/I can take a break from my reaction to any difficult situation to craft a thoughtful response. /b/
That is an incredible life lesson, one with value and direction. All because I stopped drinking and put trust in people who, like me, are also looking to enlighten their paths in life.
Carlos - I never, ever in a million years would have predicted these kinds of rewards when I started on my sober journey.
I've always been relatively insightful but it hasn't been until I worked on the 12 steps with a sponsor that I've drilled into the core of my issues. This process has opened my mind to patterns that, insightful as I was, I never saw.
In active addiction I have been super defensive. If someone has feedback or disagrees with me, I take that as an all-out assault, feeling physically and mentally as if I've been attacked. In addiction I would mobilize others to agree with me, then go on the counterattack.
I no longer need to check to see if anyone agrees with me. That is a huge amount of peace of mind right there.
In recovery I have been taught that if I don't know what to say, I can say nothing, but I struggle to put that to action. With the recent unfolding of events with my son's hockey team, where he was the brunt of some bad behavior, I was so uncomfortable with my reaction. It was based on my physical feelings of anger and fear.
I wondered how I was ever going to get past my anger. I talked about it with Carlos and a couple of trusted friends in recovery. I wrote about it here on SR. I discussed it with my sponsor.
Then a couple weeks later it occurred to me: My step mother was verbally abusive. My father stood passively by and my mother never spoke against it. I need to re-learn how to handle conflict and adversity from a position of confidence, strength, morals, and trust in a higher power. /b/I can take a break from my reaction to any difficult situation to craft a thoughtful response. /b/
That is an incredible life lesson, one with value and direction. All because I stopped drinking and put trust in people who, like me, are also looking to enlighten their paths in life.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Key, this may sound sorta weird, but perhaps the place to start is by relaxing into and accepting that this is the way you are now and that's ok? If we wait with 'bated breath for changes to happen, we'll suffocate first 
. Perhaps the first lesson in patience is accepting ourselves as we are, warts and all. That's hard and I strongly doubt that we do this 100% of the time. Think of it as carving out a tiny space in our souls for accepting ourselves today. The rest comes with time and effort.
I started my journey when I was in my late teens and now in my early seventies, I realize that my journey of learning to deal with me and my baggage will only be over when I am over. I have finally relaxed into it. I know I'll never be perfect or match how I would like to see myself in my mind's eye, but I am content - about 90% of the time. I never used to feel content at all. This place is awesome and totally makes up for the downsides of aging!
Take some deep breaths physically and mentally whenever you can; it really helps me.
. Perhaps the first lesson in patience is accepting ourselves as we are, warts and all. That's hard and I strongly doubt that we do this 100% of the time. Think of it as carving out a tiny space in our souls for accepting ourselves today. The rest comes with time and effort.I started my journey when I was in my late teens and now in my early seventies, I realize that my journey of learning to deal with me and my baggage will only be over when I am over. I have finally relaxed into it. I know I'll never be perfect or match how I would like to see myself in my mind's eye, but I am content - about 90% of the time. I never used to feel content at all. This place is awesome and totally makes up for the downsides of aging!
Take some deep breaths physically and mentally whenever you can; it really helps me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Thanks Amp. That is a great story about one persons recovery. I always like reading those.
Good morning everyone. Yes, none of us is perfect by any means. It is good to understand that all of our flaws and even warts ( that's a good one Saskia!) is part of who we are and most likely how we have learned to cope with things, good and bad, during our lives. Thanks for your posts!
Good morning everyone. Yes, none of us is perfect by any means. It is good to understand that all of our flaws and even warts ( that's a good one Saskia!) is part of who we are and most likely how we have learned to cope with things, good and bad, during our lives. Thanks for your posts!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
((Toots, Glee, Sas, Way))
I am trying to learn to settle down. Part if my anxiety was being up, prepared for anything, spontaneous. That's all fine n dandy sometimes, but now it doesn't suit me like it used to. I embrace that some changes are normal and is evidence that I am changing to the new version of me. The anxiety is settling. The gut wrenching feeling of some kind of loss. The relentless worry. It all is easing as I am learning to let things happen and recognize its ok to not know all the answers. This change has been hard in that is something I don't recognize. I'm open to it and I do welcome it whole heartedly. It's me. It's the me I am searching for. She's finally peeking her head through 142 days into this deal.
I am trying to learn to settle down. Part if my anxiety was being up, prepared for anything, spontaneous. That's all fine n dandy sometimes, but now it doesn't suit me like it used to. I embrace that some changes are normal and is evidence that I am changing to the new version of me. The anxiety is settling. The gut wrenching feeling of some kind of loss. The relentless worry. It all is easing as I am learning to let things happen and recognize its ok to not know all the answers. This change has been hard in that is something I don't recognize. I'm open to it and I do welcome it whole heartedly. It's me. It's the me I am searching for. She's finally peeking her head through 142 days into this deal.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Key, I heard a cool AA speaker say that to get this program that you needed to get in between this...then he clapped. Right between this - clapping again. His meaning was that we need to live in the here and now and I loved the way he delivered that message.
I'm off to getting between that clap.
Hey Toots, - congrats on 4 digits clean and sober. Yep, 1000 days...YOU ROCK!
Congrats to ALL MILESTONES in this new way of life we have chosen to lead!!!
Later - Carlos
I'm off to getting between that clap.
Hey Toots, - congrats on 4 digits clean and sober. Yep, 1000 days...YOU ROCK!
Congrats to ALL MILESTONES in this new way of life we have chosen to lead!!!
Later - Carlos
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