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Class of July 2015 Part 6

Old 08-22-2015, 12:27 PM
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I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown right now. I don't want to drink.... I just want to escape all of the crap that is being thrown at me. I love teaching and I am darn good at it, but I almost just feel like telling my school to kiss my a$$ right now. I have been positive for 3 weeks but I can't turn a blind eye to the things that are going on at my school right now. I honestly need to go see my doctor because I have been having major stomach issues for a month or so but my district has put the fear of God in us this week.... I feel like I will never be able to take time off again. My family has a history of colon cancer and ulcerated colitis. I honestly feel like if this is how the school year is going to go before it has even started that I will end up in the hospital. I just wish I knew what to do right now.
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Old 08-22-2015, 01:30 PM
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Ang please get to a doctor, I ignored mine for a month and ended up in ER last Sunday, I thought it was a twisted gut. Ultrasound showed no stones,so two scopes next Tuesday. Don't let it go too long.....your health is your wealth. Get yourself a tonic to boost your immune but if you don't deal with the issues at hand you are going to feel even more "sick to your stomach"
Be careful x
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Old 08-22-2015, 01:58 PM
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Ang - I hope you see a Doc soon. I wouldn't be worrying about taking time off work. It's the law that you get time off for a good reason, without it we'd all go crazy. Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Your recovery at the end of the day is more important than your manager thinks. (I think that's what you meant by district, apologies if I've gotten the wrong end of the stick).

I'm still going well here on day 38. Winding down wathung some American Horror Story in bed. My family are all down at the pub, usually it puts me on a bit of a downer but tonight I couldn't care less. I have no interest in being in that environment or anywhere near people drinking. I will have a much better time right here

B
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Old 08-22-2015, 03:03 PM
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angd its a good idea to see the doc. That's short term. Long term, lay down the foundation to move to a new job or career. You are valuable and your teaching skills are transferable to many, many different types of careers. I've radically changed careers several times. I highly recommend it to stay fresh and motivated. It might take a while but just planning and working on it brings quite a bit of release from the stress of your current job.

Early finish up of day 50. Dang, every time I run the mountain the AV works on me. I'm hungry now too. No danger of drinking, just get annoyed that the idea pops in my dang head! Still not free, but getting there!
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Old 08-22-2015, 03:15 PM
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I'm another voter for the Doc - look after yourself Ang - you're valuable!

D
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Old 08-23-2015, 03:19 AM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Morning all.

Day 39 today and I am going to make the most of the weather by having a BBQ. We have some fresh, farm bought burgers, sausages and kebabs. I for one can't wait!
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Old 08-23-2015, 04:51 AM
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Sorry that hear that Ang1978.

I hope you have a better day. I would definately go so a dr. If you can't shake these feelings. Sounds like a panic attack. You don't want you feelings/emotions to ruin something you worked so hard for. Take a breather and try to stay mindful of the moment. I wish you well.

Originally Posted by angd1978 View Post
I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown right now. I don't want to drink.... I just want to escape all of the crap that is being thrown at me. I love teaching and I am darn good at it, but I almost just feel like telling my school to kiss my a$$ right now. I have been positive for 3 weeks but I can't turn a blind eye to the things that are going on at my school right now. I honestly need to go see my doctor because I have been having major stomach issues for a month or so but my district has put the fear of God in us this week.... I feel like I will never be able to take time off again. My family has a history of colon cancer and ulcerated colitis. I honestly feel like if this is how the school year is going to go before it has even started that I will end up in the hospital. I just wish I knew what to do right now.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:36 AM
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Ang - I know everyone else has said, but please go see a doctor. Being an ICU nurse, I've seen the horrible outcomes people have had when they let "stomach problems" go for too long. Could turn in to major surgery when it could've been caught earlier and treated. Please take care of yourself. And get your resume out there. Maybe it's time for a change.
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Old 08-23-2015, 09:34 AM
  # 249 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by angd1978 View Post
I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown right now. I don't want to drink.... I just want to escape all of the crap that is being thrown at me. I love teaching and I am darn good at it, but I almost just feel like telling my school to kiss my a$$ right now. I have been positive for 3 weeks but I can't turn a blind eye to the things that are going on at my school right now. I honestly need to go see my doctor because I have been having major stomach issues for a month or so but my district has put the fear of God in us this week.... I feel like I will never be able to take time off again. My family has a history of colon cancer and ulcerated colitis. I honestly feel like if this is how the school year is going to go before it has even started that I will end up in the hospital. I just wish I knew what to do right now.
Ang, please, go to the doctor, your health is more important than ANYTHING. There isn't ANYTHING without your health, literally. Hope you feel better soon x
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Old 08-23-2015, 11:28 AM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. I don't know of any of you remember me - it must be about 3 weeks since I was last here. I went holiday and have been back a week.

I had a drink on Friday. That should be bad news but actually I'm pretty happy about the fact it didn't go on any longer than one night. There was a real danger that it could last for days because for the first time in years I had the house to myself so in theory even if it had no-one would have been affected. But Saturday I woke up feeling not hungover but still not quite right and thought I don't want to wake up like this on Sunday so I made sure I didn't have any on Saturday night. I was tempted though.

I've enjoyed catching up. I like reading about how everyone is dealing with essentially learning to live again. It's the hard bit isn't it? - learning to deal with the emotions.

I find life hard and often wonder why I put myself through it. It's not like I'm going through any massive disaster or anything but I just don't like life particularly. I've found it strange these last few days. I was looking forward to having some time to myself but I haven't known what to do. Normally I'm running round after my children. I often wonder who I'd have been if I didn't have them so young.
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Old 08-23-2015, 12:11 PM
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Happy Sunday Yaw

Day 48 here

First week of school went good & have some interesting classes this time. I needed another elective so I choose Sociology of Rock Music. Already heard the teacher sing more then once lol. Had to pick one of my fav rock bands. Fleetwood Mac of course. Stressing a little over my first social work class "intro to addiction", because it's online & the teacher isn't good about returning emails quick or expaining steps good. Can't really complain because I feel great about a semester without alcohol, hangovers & a foggy mind.

Have a great week you guys
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Old 08-23-2015, 05:12 PM
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Day 50 feels ok. A battle has been won but the war feels far from over. Purposely bought my wife some wine and flowers at the grocery store. I think it was to prove I can. There is probably an underlying av cause.

Anyways still smoke free We went to meet the teacher for kindergarten. So excited for school (sorry angd1968).

Feeling strong but untrustworthy because the thoughts of a full blown relapse are there. I have had thoughts of pre planning also. I have let them come and go. Just trying to stay vigilant and redirect my thoughts of drinking.

Have a nice day/night!!
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Old 08-23-2015, 05:40 PM
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Hey everyone!

Great to see we are still holding strong for the most part.

Those who have fallen, just get back up and move forward, sober...

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Old 08-23-2015, 05:57 PM
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letitgo I agree this time period is difficult. I'm finishing up 51 days. It's been long enough now that the early fires that burned to keep us sober have simmered down a bit. But not quite long enough that the new patterns are ingrained. I'm having to dig up some anti-brainwashing material from Allen Carr to refresh my memory.

I'm also in a bit of pain with my right knee. I'm going to have to stop running at least for a while and I have relied on it somewhat in my sobriety. But I've neglected my upper body so I bought some 20 lb dumbbells tonight and started using them. And, prior to being a runner I really enjoyed walking. Actually, if I can simply leave the house for a bit when I get home for a walk or even a drive that suits my purpose sobriety-wise. Just so I"m doing something during my danger zone, it does not matter what it is.

I continue to be thankful to be sober. My mind is clear and my anxiety is staying low. I'm using my tools to work on the stress I felt the last time I got to this point.

Have a nice sober evening...or morning UK'ers.
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Old 08-23-2015, 08:48 PM
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Thanks for the support everyone! I have added a few more new things to my diet and took a different medicine. If things don't subside by the end of the week, I will see a doctor for sure. I have everything ready to go for the first day tomorrow, or as much as I can be prepared for. I am still just going to take it one single day at a time right now. My stress has subsided a bit, as I am just realizing that my health and sanity are the most important thing. I hate the uncertainty of the next few weeks, but I will somehow muddle through it all.
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Old 08-23-2015, 10:23 PM
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It brings me a sense of relief when I catch up with this thread after 24 or 48 hours and see how someone has pulled through a trying moment and made it to a calmer mood for another sober day. It's so much harder to see those little victories through the moment to moment-ness of our own lives, it seems.
That's where the gratitude list has come in handy for me, at the end of the day before I go to sleep I focus on anything positive in my life, rather than that looming stormcloud that may have dominated my whole day.
Thanks for sharing, everyone. Good luck in the week ahead!
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Old 08-23-2015, 10:42 PM
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Woohoo - land mark reached today. I'm finally at 1 month! It's not the first time I've done this, but I hope it's the last - only want to go upwards from here! Off work all this week, and last time that happened I messed it all up and drank everyday. This time that isn't going to happen, no chance, now way, no how.

Best of luck to you all for the coming week
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Old 08-23-2015, 10:47 PM
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Hats off to you, cbf!!!

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Old 08-23-2015, 10:57 PM
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congrats cbf - and congrats too to anyone else hitting a milestone today as well

D
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Old 08-24-2015, 12:32 AM
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Congrats, Cbf!!!! One month is great!
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