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Class of July 2015 Part 6

Old 08-24-2015, 01:47 AM
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Congrats on 1 month cbf!

Day 40 for me today. I think I need to work on my motivation for sobriety a bit. Maybe reading through my journal from the first week will be enough.

Other than that o feel.good, another great sleep and ready to go for another day
Whatever happens I will not drink today
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Old 08-24-2015, 02:09 AM
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Fantastic, Angd. Look after yourself :-)
Upwards - I love your kitten going ninja on the ball of wool!
BBB...I saw 'Smashed' too. After we were all talking about 'Flight' I googled 'movies alcoholism' and found it. I thought it was great as well. For 'Breaking Bad' fans - the young guy that was in that show is in it. Can't remember his name. Good movie, though.
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Old 08-24-2015, 02:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Tooshabby View Post
Fantastic, Angd. Look after yourself :-)
Upwards - I love your kitten going ninja on the ball of wool!
BBB...I saw 'Smashed' too. After we were all talking about 'Flight' I googled 'movies alcoholism' and found it. I thought it was great as well. For 'Breaking Bad' fans - the young guy that was in that show is in it. Can't remember his name. Good movie, though.
Aaron Paul! He has a bit of a talent for playing the drug addict roles!
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Old 08-24-2015, 03:22 AM
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Happy Monday

I always find it depressing watching films about addicts. But I did watch Wild with Reece Witherspoon at the weekend (about a woman who walked 1000 miles to get over her mothers death and subsequent addictions). I enjoyed watching it because it was about her recovery and self discovery more than the downfall if you see what I mean.

I've a funny week this week (exam on wednesday) but it's bank holiday next weekend so I'm looking forward to that.

What has everyone else planned this week?
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Old 08-24-2015, 03:32 AM
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Oooooo....what's the exam? Good luck for it!!

I don't really have any plans this week. I'm a bit behind work-wise. Been putting off doing the boring side of things, as one does (if one's a procrastinator!)
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Old 08-24-2015, 04:50 AM
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Originally Posted by BobBFree33 View Post
letitgo I agree this time period is difficult. I'm finishing up 51 days. It's been long enough now that the early fires that burned to keep us sober have simmered down a bit. But not quite long enough that the new patterns are ingrained. I'm having to dig up some anti-brainwashing material from Allen Carr to refresh my memory.

I'm also in a bit of pain with my right knee. I'm going to have to stop running at least for a while and I have relied on it somewhat in my sobriety. But I've neglected my upper body so I bought some 20 lb dumbbells tonight and started using them. And, prior to being a runner I really enjoyed walking. Actually, if I can simply leave the house for a bit when I get home for a walk or even a drive that suits my purpose sobriety-wise. Just so I"m doing something during my danger zone, it does not matter what it is.

I continue to be thankful to be sober. My mind is clear and my anxiety is staying low. I'm using my tools to work on the stress I felt the last time I got to this point.

Have a nice sober evening...or morning UK'ers.
Bob, i think you add a lot our class thank you. I like how you put that about the fire weakening. On friday the SR chat meeting was about complacency. Feeling too comfortable. I also found this quote from someone on another thread. The whole paragraph is stolen and i dont remeber who i stole it from so i appologize in advance


This statement summed up my sentiments well though - "Often the people who relapse have stopped engaging in the recovery-oriented practices that served them well during their earlier sobriety. We certainly need to learn more about what factors protect such people from relapse, and what factors predispose them to returning to addictive use."
Psychology Today

Sidebar. I have been at my company for 10 years almost but technolgy is eliminating my job slowly. You said along time ago never let yourself be boxed in. I think i am going to look for another job as a just in case. I have been complacent there. Maybe make a move if it feels right. We have had a ton of turnover and my boss left. Writing on the wall.

Thanks again Bob
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Old 08-24-2015, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by charliesworld View Post
Hi everyone. I don't know of any of you remember me - it must be about 3 weeks since I was last here. I went holiday and have been back a week.

I had a drink on Friday. That should be bad news but actually I'm pretty happy about the fact it didn't go on any longer than one night. There was a real danger that it could last for days because for the first time in years I had the house to myself so in theory even if it had no-one would have been affected. But Saturday I woke up feeling not hungover but still not quite right and thought I don't want to wake up like this on Sunday so I made sure I didn't have any on Saturday night. I was tempted though.

I've enjoyed catching up. I like reading about how everyone is dealing with essentially learning to live again. It's the hard bit isn't it? - learning to deal with the emotions.

I find life hard and often wonder why I put myself through it. It's not like I'm going through any massive disaster or anything but I just don't like life particularly. I've found it strange these last few days. I was looking forward to having some time to myself but I haven't known what to do. Normally I'm running round after my children. I often wonder who I'd have been if I didn't have them so young.
Welcome back.
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Old 08-24-2015, 04:57 AM
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Hello Julyers,

Angd, I'm so glad to hear from you. Happy you're feeling better!

Congratulations to everyone on your milestones. I love this checking in with each other and celebrating together...

BBFree- I too appreciate your phrase about "the fire weakening". I was just thinking along the lines of "the novelty wearing off", but that's a much better image...
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Old 08-24-2015, 04:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Upwardspiral View Post
It brings me a sense of relief when I catch up with this thread after 24 or 48 hours and see how someone has pulled through a trying moment and made it to a calmer mood for another sober day. It's so much harder to see those little victories through the moment to moment-ness of our own lives, it seems.
That's where the gratitude list has come in handy for me, at the end of the day before I go to sleep I focus on anything positive in my life, rather than that looming stormcloud that may have dominated my whole day.
Thanks for sharing, everyone. Good luck in the week ahead!
Upward you hit the nail on the head. Feeling/urgings can feel like eternity but they do pass.
Thats is a great idea doing your gratitude list at night also. Calming and positive before bed.
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Old 08-24-2015, 05:02 AM
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About "the fire weakening" issue. I had a really hard day on Saturday. My AV was yelling-"Hey lady, this is where you failed before. Loser. Just face the fact that you can't deal without wine", etc. etc.

It was nip and tuck, but after digging in a little deeper, made it through. A small victory, but I'll take it.

I went to a really good concert, and took three(?) yoga classes. Whatever it takes.

Hang in there, everyone. Hope your week starts well.
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Old 08-24-2015, 05:02 AM
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Congrats CBF on 30 days!!! Wooo hoo!!! You made the conscious effort to not posion yourself for a month. You have stared down the av. Its a fantastic accomplishment. CONGRATS
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Old 08-24-2015, 06:56 AM
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CBF congratulations! Woohoo for you! I recently had that as I am on day 35..I felt a sense of accomplishment!
Even though I am struggling with learning to cope with things/people differently I had a pretty good weekend. Learning to live in this life that is so full of temptations is not only hard, but pisses me off too. As a whole, society puts a lot of emphasis on being vain, sex, and drinking as having fun. When did we ever think this is all there is to life? So shallow in that aspect of thinking as I am looking around at things now. I am more aware to things now maybe. Just my opinion.
Husband is trying to be around more. Our lives have completely changed in the past year. Makes it really difficult when we were used to how everything had been for almost 20 years. Both of us are struggling with unfamiliar territory and now dealing with almost divorcing and me being an alcoholic has thrown even more fuel to the fire. We are fighters though. We just won't give up. I know we will fight to make things work.
Had a pretty peaceful weekend. Learning to speak up when I just don't feel right about something, but speak up respectfully and not pointing fingers at people.
Yesterday went to dinner and we went to the outside patio. Me, husband, and our daughter, the baby of our family (one of our 3 young adult children Had good food and there was a blues band playing. Good company. My daughter who is almost 18 was so at peace being with us. My husband had a drink, but I read that I can't expect people to stop being who they are just because I can't handle my own addiction. So true!
Learning to just "be"!
Thanks for all your posts! It really helps! Good and bad it makes us all think!
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Old 08-24-2015, 07:56 PM
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Congrats CBF!

Finishing up sober day 52. Went on a nice walk and did some weights.

KeyofC I'm retraining my definition of "temptation". I've been around quite a few people drinking now and I have not missed it nor envied them. I see them as uninformed; like the smokers in the 50's that had no clue how deadly tobacco is. I used to avoid the wine isle in the grocery store. I go right up to it and marvel at what a great gimmick to sell alcohol is. Such willing dupes forking over money they could spend on their kids, a charity, or for something special for themselves; but nope, they pay for poison and dutifully put it in their bodies because they've been told its fun and good. And they believe it with zeal! It's really amazing how easily we can be brainwashed.

Have a good sober evening and early morning to the Empire!
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Old 08-24-2015, 08:47 PM
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Well I survived the first day of school and it was a success. So many kiddos were very happy to see me today and that made things a lot better. On another note, my stomach issues are not getting any better. I just emailed my principal to see if it would be alright to make an appointment ASAP to see my brother's GI doctor. I am in a lot of pain right now and very stressed out about missing work and if there are major problems, missing work in the future. I guess I am just really depressed right now because this is all hitting me right when school has started back, instead of the summer when I could've handled it. My district has set up so many "non-negotiables" and I just feel like any wrong move could get me into trouble. I could just really use some prayers right now. On a more positive note, we had enough kiddos show up today to keep all 4 teachers on ( if they are still enrolled by the end of the week). That at least has relieved some concern about me teaching two of the most hard subjects at once, or being moved to a new position or campus.
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Old 08-24-2015, 09:28 PM
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Glad to hear there's at least the hope of a silver lining for you Angd. I hope for the best for your stomach issues, and hope you get to see a doctor soon. I've been through some of that and it's terrifying waiting to find out. Drinking LOTS of chamomile has helped me with gall bladder problems and the nerves of course.

Day 36 for me and I've been okay. As soon as a thought of drinking slips in I go on lock down. Don't even like to look at booze labels or hear people talking about drinking. Still very protective of myself right now. However I did watch The Graduate tonight. At least the boozing in that film is not depicted in an especially romantic light.
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Old 08-25-2015, 04:21 AM
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Heading out of town for a few weeks for work. I will be alone which is a dangerous thing. My goal is to start working out and meditate. I am going to check with you folks to. I need to hold myself accountable. 1 drink or smoke is not worth the next 1000 that ensue.

Luckily I am heading to Pennsylvania. They have stricter laws on alcohol. You cant buy it everywhere like in IL. You have to.go to special stores and its expensive. Yes i am that pathetic i know most of the liquor laws of the states i travel to. Thats a good sign i may have a problem.

Have a good one
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Old 08-25-2015, 04:25 AM
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Check in as much as you need to letitgo

D
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Old 08-25-2015, 05:45 AM
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Hello all,

We seem to be missing a few troops. Haa anyone heard from FABL or DD?

Day 41 here. I did something super stressful for me this morning. I wrote a letter to my boss at work asking why I hadn't had any response on my request for a phased return. We will see what I get back. I'm at the point now where I want to go back now, my Doc suggested 3 days a week for at least a month, which I passed on to my boss. Radio silence since then. Hopefully this will kick start them in acton. Maybe they think if they say nothing and keep it hanging over me ill just go back full time straight away? Either way, that's not going to happen.

Currently in the city having a coffee, people watching. One of my fav things to do

I still cannot get over how well I am sleeping. 7 hours again last night without waking up once, im used to 3-4 hours and getting up countless times within the night! The good sleep is definitely helping my mood. I do still feel quite down at times (mainly loneliness I think). I've not had any interaction with anyone my age for over a month now, I need to resolve that somehow. I tend to hide behind my age a bit and out off trying to meet people but it's not easy at all when you're 23 and much of my generation's social activities revolve around booze. I will persevere... I'm not entirely sure how you're meant to meet anyone these days, I feel like i'm about 60 years too old for my time on occasion.

But..... I wasn't any more social when I was drinking (in fact even less so), I need to just keep working on it. It's still very early and I must remember Rome wasnt built in a day.
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Old 08-25-2015, 08:56 AM
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Day 40, stopped on July 16th,

Seems to get only tougher as I head into sobriety,

Hope you all are going strong as it seems hard to take a step forward sometimes.
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Old 08-25-2015, 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Upwardspiral View Post

Day 36 for me and I've been okay. As soon as a thought of drinking slips in I go on lock down. Don't even like to look at booze labels or hear people talking about drinking. Still very protective of myself right now. However I did watch The Graduate tonight. At least the boozing in that film is not depicted in an especially romantic light.
I understand what you're saying. I started watching the new season of True Detective the other night and was thinking to myself "man, they drink a lot in this show." It's interesting how much more hyper aware of it I've become. But also thinking "what's the point? Why are they doing that to themselves?"

I'm trying to stay strong and focused today, but I find myself thinking about "not drinking" 90% of the day. I'm just wondering if it'll ever lessen? I quit smoking years ago and only have fleeting thoughts every once in a while, usually only when I was drinking. I'm glad I'm not poisoning myself anymore, but I just wonder to myself, will it get easier?
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