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Moms and Mums Club Part 11

Old 09-09-2014, 12:41 PM
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Babs- I was thinking of going to a meeting tonight but my kids have so much homework. I only have time for Alanon on Thursdays. I would go to one if you have time. It's so worth while. You always feel better after a meeting!!!
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Old 09-09-2014, 12:42 PM
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Welcome Petals! Tell us about you.
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Old 09-09-2014, 05:43 PM
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Hi ladies...

Welcome to the group Petals!! Feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with...all the women here are so very supportive!

I am sober 17 months almost now, and mom to a 7 year old (going on 8) girl. She is my world, but sadly I drank too much for the first 6 years of her life. I am a much better mom now that she has me fully present!

Hi Lucy...congrats on 7 months! So proud of you..you have done remarkably well in the face if all the added stress you have had. It's a testament to your strength!

Hi to you all...Lady, Babs, Bebetter...and everyone else too:-)
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Old 09-10-2014, 10:33 AM
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Hey all!

lucy - congrats on 7 months!!

welcome petals! I am mom to a 2 and 5 year old, and am 14 months sober. This is my second longest stint in sobriety, but I consider it my longest, since the time I was 2.5 years sober included a pregnancy, and I've always easily been able to quit while pregnant. This one is "all about me" if that makes sense.

Had a mammo on Monday for some breast pain I've been having, and all is well. It felt kind of good (after getting the good results) to get that done and know I'm well in that department. I've still been a little off in my moods - one day, I feel totally normal, the next, some of that anxiety creeps back in. Blah. I don't know why it seems like since I've been sober, my body has been giving me a lot more grief. Maybe it's because I don't drown away my hypochondriac kind of thoughts in booze? Whatever it is, I feel like I'm only 36, and don't want to always be worrying about my health. I have DECADES ahead to do that! I've been a little sad these past 2 days, really missing my girl at kindergarten. It doesn't feel healthy to me to feel this way. I worry when both my girls are in school that I'm going to really go through the ringer, and it makes me sad that I doubt we will have any more children, and my last pregnancy was a loss. I kind of wish I had just been happy with 2 and never tried again.
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Old 09-10-2014, 03:52 PM
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Hi Moms,

Had a day off today to do my annual clearing out of my daughters toys, stuffed animals etc., and I am horrified to say I filled 9 large garbage bags!!! Ugh, how did we accumulate this much stuff????

Bebetter...fellow hypochondriac here. I always get a pain in my left breast, and it used to freak me out, but I also got checked out and all was well. I also began to notice I got the pain around my period and when I was ovulating, so chalking it up to hormones.

Well off to my pile of ironing:-)
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Old 09-11-2014, 03:13 AM
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Hi all, just wanted to say hello and glad I found you all.
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Old 09-11-2014, 04:47 AM
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Hi Sky2012 and welcome! Tell us a little about yourself when you are ready. I am a mom to a 4.5 yr old little girl with another (girl) on the way! Have been sober now for almost 6 months, granted it has much easier for me being pregnant, but I am still loving my sober life and I hope I never let myself go back to that awful place alcohol took me. Lots of support here!
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Old 09-11-2014, 08:36 AM
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Thanks Ladybug, lovely warm welcome!! I am a mother of 2 daughter 22months and 4 months. I guess the story of me ending up here is probably very similar to many of you, I am 15 days sober and 15 days ago I looked at my daughters and realised that I could not be a role model to them while drinking even if it is when they went to bed. I feel that it is hard enough to bring up girls ( and boys!) and to instil in them self-confidence and esteem to help fulfil their true potential and function as healthy adults without having a mother that is an alcoholic. I grew up with one and I am very aware of the devastation emotionally it caused me. So here I am, I am still very shy in regards to sharing my experience and I think years of alcohol abuse has wrecked my self- confidence. So thank you for asking me to share, it feels good actually!! I feel like I am doing ok and I am grateful to be able to play and engage with my daughters in the morning without feeling like hell but also I am flooded with emotions which I think years of alcohol abuse have numbed. I guess I am feeling lots of guilt and shame at some of the very poor decisions and choices I have made, I am hoping these feelings will subside soon so that I can forgive myself and move forward with my life. Here's to living!! Hope you are lovely day.
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Old 09-11-2014, 10:22 AM
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Welcome Sky!!!!!!

It's so great to have some serious longevity on here with Dolly and Bebetter. I really appreciate everyone's journey no matter how many days sober you have and about any relapses for that matter so that we can all grow from them.

I really do find honesty is the key to sobriety. It's painful but it's a must. You have to share your truth be to set free.

I've really had to detach lately from my hubby's off and on sobriety to keep mine in tact. It just reinforces my experience as a sober person even more. I no longer have to go to the grocery store and be embarrassed buying it. I can drive a car at any hour of the day safely and I have all the energy in the evenings to do homework with the kids.

I used to get drowsy from drinking while helping with homework. That's so lame! I didn't spend the amount of time I should have with them.

I'd also got so jealous when I was drunk. I was the one most of the time causing all the fights. I'd bring up old wounds and not let them go. So toxic.

With it being September 11th I'm in a bit of a solemn mood. Bless those poor people killed that day.

My hubby went into the city this week for work and to give me space. I've really missed him but I needed him to be honest with his sobriety. He creates so much chaos. But this time I sent him away before it affected me and the kids. It was so hard knowing he needed my help. But he's an adult and is in charge of his own sobriety. I can't do it for him. Detachment is key.

This year may be a rocky one. And I'm just doing the best that I can for my entire family. I believe when someone is really trying to get well, there is space in my heart for patience and understanding.

Today I was thinking, Gosh I can't imagine if someone was down my throat with my sobriety. It would truly make me want to drink more. I've got to really back off. I can't wait for my Alan-on meeting tonight! Lol

This was ALL my idea. This sobriety thing for myself. I attempted it several times for several months before. I'm so thankful this time it has stuck in my brain and that this is what works for ME!

God bless you hypochondriacs! It seems like when life is going swimmingly we make drama!

Happy Thursday!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-11-2014, 11:18 AM
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Welcome Sky!

Congrats on 15 days, and so glad you are joining us. I am mom to a 7 year old daughter, and I knew for a while I was an alcoholic...after all, it's difficult to deny that fact when you find yourself drinking a nip if brandy in the bathroom stall at work!:-(.

Of course me realizing I was an alcoholic didn't immediately translate into me quitting. My drinking was done primarily at home, so not many knew the extent, except my husband and he never complained it said a word about my drinking.

It wasn't until the one night he finally did confront me, and voice his concerns, that I finally quit. I knew that day was coming, and I almost welcomed it. It had gotten to the point that I no longer "enjoyed" drinking, and was partly relieved I would finally be "forced" to quit.

Anyway, that was April 29, 2013, and I haven't had a drink since.

I too struggled with feelings if guilt over my poor decisions and how they affected my family..especially my daughter. I can tell you it does get better with time. I don't have those feelings very much anymore. Although I do occasionally recall something I did drinking, an cringe a bit, for the most part I am now so happy with my life and proud of the mom I really am sans the alcohol!

Anyway...feel free to post often...someone here is usually here to listen, and feel free to PM me with anything too.

Welcome again!:-)
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Old 09-11-2014, 11:28 AM
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Thank you Lucygoose.
Thank you Dolly that means a lot!
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Old 09-11-2014, 06:27 PM
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Hi Sky - I am mom to two girls, ages 2 and 5. I quit drinking on June 30, 2013. I definitely still have those cringe-worthy memories that Dolly mentioned... but they are a good reminder to me why I keep my sobriety up. I rarely have cravings anymore, but like (I think) Babs said, I keep my eye on the disease. A few days ago, I was driving in town and just feeling fantastic, and I had a fleeting desire for a bottle of white wine. Those types of fleeting cravings are easy for me to dismiss now, with some quick thoughts to what happens after the bottle is done... hangover, disappointment and shame, doubt and lacking self-esteem. Totally not worth it anymore. I've been myself now for a while, and I think I'm just fine without the buzz. I do wish I could have a drink now and then like a normal person, but that desire is so false. I've NEVER wanted ONE drink now and then, and I am too aware that one drink will either put me right back where I started, or at the very least, open the door to that mental war I've always had with alcohol - I don't want to fight that fight again.
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Old 09-12-2014, 03:35 PM
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hello

Hi girls,

It's been a few weeks since I posted last. I'm doing fine, still sober. It's been a really busy time with schedules changes and additional activities.

Welcome to the newbies. I am a mom of a 10 year old and 8 year old. I had my last drink 87 days ago. I am glad to not have to worry about being drunk at night and having a possible emergency where I couldn't drive my kids anywhere. I'm glad to not have to arrange my schedule around wine or being really angry if I couldn't incorporate wine into my nightly scene. I'm glad to be more available for my girls and not wishing their bedtime would hurry up and get here. The cravings still come....usually as a visual of me downing a huge bottle of wine When they come now, I am able to just be, and remind myself they are not real...physically anyway. I usually say, "just let it wash over you, they will be gone soon." It does still annoy the daylights out of me that I can't drink like "normal" people. However, I have experienced things as a child that "normal" people haven't. When I can identify the cravings as a need to self medicate, it makes it easier.

I have started becoming more comfortable with sharing my drinking issue with a few close friends. It feels good to be honest and have them be wonderful and supportive.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by 21reeves View Post
Hi girls,

It's been a few weeks since I posted last. I'm doing fine, still sober. It's been a really busy time with schedules changes and additional activities.

Welcome to the newbies. I am a mom of a 10 year old and 8 year old. I had my last drink 87 days ago. I am glad to not have to worry about being drunk at night and having a possible emergency where I couldn't drive my kids anywhere. I'm glad to not have to arrange my schedule around wine or being really angry if I couldn't incorporate wine into my nightly scene. I'm glad to be more available for my girls and not wishing their bedtime would hurry up and get here. The cravings still come....usually as a visual of me downing a huge bottle of wine When they come now, I am able to just be, and remind myself they are not real...physically anyway. I usually say, "just let it wash over you, they will be gone soon." It does still annoy the daylights out of me that I can't drink like "normal" people. However, I have experienced things as a child that "normal" people haven't. When I can identify the cravings as a need to self medicate, it makes it easier.

I have started becoming more comfortable with sharing my drinking issue with a few close friends. It feels good to be honest and have them be wonderful and supportive.
Hello thanks for sharing I'm a mother of a 13 yr old girl yea she just turned 13 thought I'd better wake up and pay attention sad to say it took so long I'm still in denial about damage control cuz i was an alcoholic who waited till 5 pm and drank into the night she knew... she knows I just got out of rehab for drinking cuz i want to be well but had no option except I hope u make friends mommy cuz i went 1000 miles away to 30 day rehab.see I'm going thru a divorce and here she old enough to choose where she wants to live..she choose him although he has mentally emotionally and physically abused me..I left March 2014... My step son was core of alot of our problems he 20 he has no job failed out 2 college. Smokes weed lays on couch with his gf and dead head friends hung over all day with no n life house a filthy wreck and he steals all my stuff stole all my gold and his dad never did a thing so situation was bad...but I was stay at home mom I had no money I was controlled. . I had no where to go really but a small camper and by then he brain washed my daughter him and his son that I was the bad person so she would not leave...as any good mother would do u be concerned and afraid to leave ur daughter in that chaos wit the step son and at this point she has seen and heard her dad dis repect me so much she had no respect for me wouldn't listen didn't even seen bothered by my tears Ikr... so I stayed and put up wit the crap course drinking cuz i couldn't deal wit that straight just straight up disrespect after changing both those kids diapers my step son his mom gave him to us at age 4 so I've had that problem and his dad won't let me do nothing after 17 yrs of taking care of him anyway I had to stay until my daughter started her period at least..thankfully she did b4 the last straw when kody robbed me again and I went off to his dad about it kody was out spending my money well my husband jumped up and put his hands on me the last time......march14...I left..an lived in sm camper no water an my daughter did not even care...now today I made him rent me a house I live alone I'm hurt I'm sober...I'm lonely... what is God's plan for me...my daughter coming around but she seeing I won't let her or him treat me like dirt no more.. He broke my heart I think I still Love him cuz i don't want to loose my family and miss her life cuz of him..... Please help Me
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Old 09-12-2014, 07:21 PM
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Hi moms...

Welcome Bubbles. So sorry you are dealing with so much, but staying sober is the best way to deal with and heal from all that. Showing your daughter how strong you can be will be a wonderful lesson that we are all worth having the very best life possible.

You will find tons of support here, so I hope you stay with us:-)

Hi to you 21reeves...glad to see you back and so happy to hear you are doing well. I hear ya on the busy schedules...this time of year is nuts for us too:-)
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Old 09-12-2014, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Dollyangel17 View Post
Hi moms...

Welcome Bubbles. So sorry you are dealing with so much, but staying sober is the best way to deal with and heal from all that. Showing your daughter how strong you can be will be a wonderful lesson that we are all worth having the very best life possible.

You will find tons of support here, so I hope you stay with us:-)

Hi to you 21reeves...glad to see you back and so happy to hear you are doing well. I hear ya on the busy schedules...this time of year is nuts for us too:-)
Thank u for ur kind words cuz it's hard to stay sober in all this with all the pain and heart break and loneliness but I know God brought me to it he bring me thru it..... I will be here alot thanks
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Old 09-12-2014, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by bubblesz View Post
Thank u for ur kind words cuz it's hard to stay sober in all this with all the pain and heart break and loneliness but I know God brought me to it he bring me thru it..... I will be here alot thanks
So today I thought I'd surprise my daughter her name is Desi with tickets to Katie perry she has no idea yet I know she want to bring a friend at 13 but I'd like it to be a mom and daughter thing what u think? ???
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Old 09-13-2014, 12:25 PM
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Bubbles that sounds like an amazing girls night! My daughter who is now 10 wanted to go to the Katie Perry concert. I think you are making the right choices and I'm proud of you. You have so much to face right now and it's amazing you are facing it sober!!!!! Keep on keeping on.

Last night my hubby and I went out to meet another couple for dinner. Only one of us drinks. Honestly it was all about the person drinking. We all just watched her down 3 glasses of wine. And we ended up paying for her. I was super annoyed. Jealous she was the only one having fun. The music was too loud to chat and the food was late. I watched a bit if the SFO giants game but the rest was boring as hell. I've got to figure our funner things to do then what we used to do. I wanted to go home the entire evening. And today since I was out late I slept poorly and feel a bit hung over. Maybe I can't be around other people when they drink even after 7 months sober. It just makes me feel boring. I'd rather be in my jammies with my animals and kids going to bed early. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.

Have a great sober Saturday everyone)))
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Old 09-13-2014, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by lucygoose View Post
Bubbles that sounds like an amazing girls night! My daughter who is now 10 wanted to go to the Katie Perry concert. I think you are making the right choices and I'm proud of you. You have so much to face right now and it's amazing you are facing it sober!!!!! Keep on keeping on.

Last night my hubby and I went out to meet another couple for dinner. Only one of us drinks. Honestly it was all about the person drinking. We all just watched her down 3 glasses of wine. And we ended up paying for her. I was super annoyed. Jealous she was the only one having fun. The music was too loud to chat and the food was late. I watched a bit if the SFO giants game but the rest was boring as hell. I've got to figure our funner things to do then what we used to do. I wanted to go home the entire evening. And today since I was out late I slept poorly and feel a bit hung over. Maybe I can't be around other people when they drink even after 7 months sober. It just makes me feel boring. I'd rather be in my jammies with my animals and kids going to bed early. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.

Have a great sober Saturday everyone)))

Love u peeps today :*)
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Old 09-13-2014, 03:47 PM
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Hi all...

Bubbles...that sounds like a wonderful idea, and I agree it would be extra special to have it be a mom/daughter night:-). Keep up the great work!

Lucy...I hear ya! I still sometimes get annoyed when out with people "partying", and often feel the same way...just want to be home. I think sometimes we push ourselves to be in "normal" situations, and get bummed out when it makes us feel uncomfortable, because we want to feel normal just without the alcohol.

I think we have to train ourselves that those times are not really normal...not for a lot if people...our bodies are used to a life of no alcohol now, but our minds just take a little longer to catch up.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be home in Jammie's...nothing at all:-).

That is what I am doing tonight...Jammie's and relaxing:-)
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