Bebetter

Hi Ashemed - welcome to our group! I am mom to 2 girls, age 2 and 5, and have been sober for nearly 15 months. I was drinking about 4-5 drinks in the evenings (cocktails, wine and beer), but my real wake-up was my increasing binge events, where I'd get total blasted. It was getting to be a weekly event for me, and my last one was the last day I drank, June 29, 2013. I have found this community of moms SO helpful, and as time goes on, we're gaining lots of long sobriety together. The first few weeks were difficult, with the cravings and hyperactivity (insomnia, some anxiety...), and now I'm dealing with some anxiety that honestly, is probably normal for me? I don't know... anyway, with all the time I have under my belt, I know this is the right way for me to live. I love not having to fight my brain every night over having one more drink, and I love waking up in the morning the same way I went to sleep - as myself.

I was just getting over a long cold the past few days, and wtf - a sore throat this morning! I know it's just another virus, as my husband feels the same way today (he was sick with me 2 weeks ago, but he got better in a few days, and my sickness dragged on). He's a teacher, my oldest is in K, my youngest goes to childcare at the Y when I work out, and I'm a librarian - the number of viruses our family comes into contact with must be enormous! We're heading to NYC tomorrow, and I just hope we're all well, because it's going to be miserable if not. My in-laws will all be there, and that's tough enough without being sick on top of it. Plus, being sick is one of my drinking triggers. Not sure why. I guess just wanting to forget about it and relax?

I've been relatively anxious the past few days about this cop killer who has threatened mass murder in our region. Supposedly he's not really close to us (like 40-50 miles away), but on Wednesday, my daughter's school was on lock down for a little while when they thought they saw his truck driving near a few of the schools (not hers). I just can't stop thinking about Sandy Hook... I am compulsively checking the news for word that he has been captured (and, IMO, I hope his head is shot off in the capture - I'm not usually cruel, but I don't care if he ever gets to trial). I didn't want to send my girl to school today, but I know, rationally, she is very safe. I just get worked up... can't wait until she's home with me again.

Babs78756

Good Morning Moms -

It's been awhile since I checked in but all is good here. It's been a busy week, husband was traveling again for 6 days this time and the urge to drink or go get a bottle is a faint memory, sometimes stronger than others.

I'm hosting a brunch at our house tomorrow and I've gone back and forth on whether or not I'd provide mimosas. I've decided not to. It's expensive and at the very least I'd be thinking about what to do with any leftovers before there were any leftovers. So, I've decided against it. There are a lot of little things to do before the ladies gather and I'm not an entertainer or hostess, well I guess I just don't have much practice. Dolly, I could really use your skills. I've been on pinterest but all that does is make me feel bad about my lack of skills. Ugh.

What does everyone have planned for the weekend?

LucyG, how are you doing?

Alynn

I'm joining! Can't believe in haven't seen this thread yet! I have a 4 yr old little girl. I tried to hide my drinking. I'm used it for stress relief. That's in the passed and I'm trying to move forward. Glad to be here!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

lucygoose

Hi Babs! Welcome to all the newcomers!!! I love to see a fresh new group of gals. You are in the right place. It's a fantastic group of strong women working out our daily lives together sober!

I'm currently in San Francisco with hubby. We stayed the night and went to biscuit and blues last night and listened to a great band. That's what we need to do together. Instead of just going out to eat at a pub. Something else to focus on. It was romantic and out hotel being a Kimpton was beautiful.

My hubby is an amazing guitar player and we both love to dance so I'm going to try and plan more times like these. He's on a conference call now and we are going to go out to a big breakfast! The kids were taken care of by friends. My friends all knew how important it was for us to get away. 21 years married!!!

I certainly remember a time we came here where I got so drunk while hanging out with this homeless girl and her dog. I barely could make it to the bathroom to throw up. How stupid! My mom had the kids and our night to ourselves was ruined. I could barely eat the next day!

I'm so thankful to have a new refreshing day ahead. It's starting out foggy and we haven't seen clouds for a long time with this drought and now we have this huge fire so close to us. I pray for all of wildlife displaced. It was arson. So terrible. Stuff like that keeps me up at night. And Sandy Hook. This world needs us right now. I think service to others is paramount!

Happy Friday loves!

Keep on keeping on!!!!!!!

Ladybug2

Hi and welcome Ashamed and Alynn! So glad you joined our group and congrats on making the decision to get sober. I am a SAHM to a 4 year old little girl with another girl on the way. I have been sober for 6 months now and am so much happier. I, too, hid my drinking and did a lot of sneaking around, lying, etc. That, combined with the awful hangovers, was just exhausting and a terrible way to live. Stick close to this group of moms - they are all so wonderful and supportive

Things have been busy here with my daughter starting preschool and other activities. The weeks seem to be flying by and my due date is fast approaching! I feel like I am not even close to being ready.

Hope everyone is doing well!! Have a great weekend Moms

Alynn

Thanks ladybug and lucky goose! Only an few weeks in in my decision to stop for good.. Hope it gets easier.. My daughter started pre-k last week also... 3 days a week.. Like is to busy for drinking now anyways Congrats on 2nd baby! I really want antonym but husband is not on board. That stresses me out! I can't imagine not having another one.

Bebetter

Hi Alynn - I agree! Life is too busy for drinking, and it goes by so fast, too. I think about all the hours I missed each day, all the parties I drank away, all the events I looked forward to mainly for the booze, and I'm glad to be present for all of them now. I'm so glad you found us over here.

Babs78756

Welcome to all the new voices here. So good to hear your stories. The longer I've been sober the more memories I have about the horrible things I did in my drinking days, its a miracle I wasn't harmed or harmed anyone else. I was thinking, 'Is it too late to discuss those bad memories and should I just focus on my recovery?' It's a miracle that I have any friends left and that I haven't been fired.

Husband and I just planned a trip back east where we moved from and I'm a little nervous about going back and seeing all my old drinking buddies. A friend already texted and said 'bring your daughter over and the kids can play while we drink.' I told that I wasn't drinking anymore and she said she's impressed and said 'I wish I had that amount of willpower.' Ugh, its not willpower. Anyway, it should be okay but the first leg of the trip I'll be on my own with baby and will meet my husband on after the first day. I decided to get a hotel rather than stay with the friend. I know there's a point where I just need to eliminate the tempatation.

I had a lunch with my boss today and other senior members of staff and boss announced we got a new big client, he said 'I'm ready to order champagne!' I almost lost it. I miss champagne... let's face it a part of me misses all of it. I miss the first glass, the celebration around champagne. I don't miss the two bottle of champagne version of myself... ugh.

Anyway... I'm rambling. Nice to check in with you all. Weekend here we come!

XOXO

Bebetter

Hi all,
I'm headed to NYC for the day with my family, and woke up at 3am with my youngest crying. She went right back to sleep, but I had anxiety for a little bit about going up in the Empire State Bld. I finally got back to sleep telling myself that I didn't have to go up, but I feel silly for having anxiety in front of my husband's whole family. I don't mind heights, and would likely be totally fine and actually would probably LOVE it at the top, but the elevator getting there would be a nightmare for me...

When I woke up in the morning, still with some anxiety about the whole trip (am packing my never used Xanax bottle), I thought "If this happened 2 years ago, I'd be hungover right now from drinking the anxiety away last night." A moment of honest pride and security that I'm not drinking away my fears anymore! I figure, everyone has their fears and limits, and if people can't respect mine, that is not going to be my problem.

lucygoose

Bebetter- Have a wonderful time in NYC! You will have a blast!!! I remember the Empire State Building. The elevator goes so fast. Before you know it you're at the top. What a view. Not to be missed.

Crowds freak me out sometimes but it's also so fun to be with a big group of people in a city. Feeling anonymous is fantastic sometimes. Even better sober and aware of your surroundings.

Have fun and take photos:-)

Dollyangel17

Hi there all...

So jealous you going to NYC Bebetter! Gosh I love visiting that city!

Busy day with my girl...dress fitting with her...she is the flower girl in a wedding, so that was fun. Some shopping and baked cupcakes for a play date tomorrow. To tired to decorate them...will do that tomorrow:-). Trying a new cookies and cream variation because that is my daughters favorite flavor:-)

Well...tired tonight, so off for my tea..night girls:-)

Alynn

Hey ladies! Just wanted to check in.. I loooove NYC! I want to take daughter but she is only 4 and I only halfway know how to get around. May be too stessfull. Anyways hope your are having a wonderful week!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

petals

Just checking in to say that I'm still here. ..so busy....still off the wine but now I'm eating like an idiot. Mmm next issue to tackle
Can't win really. ..hubby used to tell me I was fat...it kept me focused on keeping check of my weight. ...now he says he loves me anyway and there's more to love. ... so im eating too much. Is he just messing with my head or is my head messing with my head! X

lucygoose

Petals- My diet especially in the beginning of being sober was terrible! I had so much sugar! But I could honestly eat like that and still loose the weight. My beer drinking days were so many more calories plus I just ate more!

I'm now down 20 pounds after 7 months of being sober and can fit in all my skinny shorts. Do this for you not your hubby. I used to do it for other people but I now do it all for me! I was never a selfish person and didn't care for myself, but now I do!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Babs78756

Petals - I'm in the same boat as LucyG, I let myself have whatever, whenever, however I wanted while getting sober. In fact, I'm still lenient on myself with food. I try and operate on the 80/20 rule, I eat well 80% of the time and on my plate 80% of it is fruits/veggies/lean meats - the other 20% can be a bread etc. Like LucyG I've lost an extra 15 lbs since giving up booze. This is honestly the first time I've really felt confident about my body in spite of getting a gym membership starting at the age of 12....

Everything is good here, a few days away from my 8 months. We had a dinner party last night, I had told the hostess earlier on that I wasn't drinking anymore after convincing her I wasn't pregnant she begrudgingly believed that I was doing it for health reasons. Last night at the party she shouted (what felt like shouting) 'I have sparkling water for you, everyone else there's beer wine and Texas Martinis...' the discomfort for me was minor but still felt like a jab. I also realized, dinner parties have an end... when you're not looking for the next drink or the late night crew, you notice that everyone goes home, its very civil and no longer requires all the planning I used to do (avoid scheduling morning meetings after a diner party, have wine at the house before I go so I can drink it when I get home if no late night crew assembles etc. etc. etc.). Who knew dinner parties ended shortly after dinner?

I'm thinking about signing up for the marathon in town. I haven't done one since I ran Boston almost 5 years ago. I'm not sure i have it in me to commit to it but I know I'll regret it if I don't.... decisions, decisions.

How is everyone else doing?

Dollyangel17

Hi All,

Checking in after a few days hiatus. I had trouble logging in, and finally got a new password set up:-)

Not much is going on here except my husband and I are starting the process of purchasing a home. We are enrolled in a First Time Home Buyers class, and learning all the ins and outs of the process.

Hope to be in our own home next summer!

Well, back to work, but will check in tonight for sure now that my log in is all set again:-)

petals

Hi guys, I'm so very very busy and totally exhausted but im still here. Hugs to you all.xx

Alynn

Hey ladies!

Have you read sober mercies? It's a really good read!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

21reeves

Hi All~ I'm still around. Just super busy. I feel like the days are so full of work, kids activities, puppy training, obligations, etc that I don't have a any energy left at the end of the day .

I did realize that being tired is a huge trigger for me. Just driving home wanting to get the kids to bed and pour a glass of red wine to unwind has been on my mind a lot. I haven't, but really wanted to some nights.

It is nice to come in late though and be able to go right to bed and read. In the past, I would end up staying up super late because I had to get as many glasses of wine in before going to bed. Getting up the next day would be awful.

Alynn, I am just finishing Sober Mercies. I love it. I was very moved when I got to the part where she talks about God's Grace. It really hit home. Have you read any others like that?

It's beautiful here and we are off to a town festival. I'm hoping to score some fried dough

Dollyangel17

Hi moms...

Glad to see you 21reeves. Good job on refraining from temptation! I can be so hard, and I have been there...the desire to unwind after a tiring day can pull really hard, but I find it's key to remember any short period of relaxation will end, and be followed by anxiety and depression, and that will last much longer....so not worth it!

The festival sounds fun! We are going to a festival tomorrow as well. Apple picking and pumpkin picking along with lots of other activities...so looking forward to it.

Went to an American Girl tea party with my daughter at a museum today...was a great time! We really enjoyed our time together!:-)

Well it's tea and chocolate time:-)