Good evening all,
So it is the end of day forty two. It is cold outside. all my toys for the fireplace finally arrived from the states. Barometric dampers and temperature indicators. Fireplace is running at a constant 275°F. What does this all mean. Well I am sitting here in shorts and no t-shirt while typing to you and the room is nice and warm. Not too warm mind you - just nice.
Business first.
Physically I am great this evening. I have no headache. I am a little tired. As usual, the fatigue hit me at work. I think our office has something to do with it. As soon as I go outside or leave, the fatigue falls away. Although I have it sometimes on the drive home. Guaranteed though, it falls away when I am at home.
I wonder if it is not time for a career change or a change of companies.
Mentally I am good. Work was good. The usual parry and thrust of meetings went well. I am glad. I am able to hold myself well. I even get glimpses of the ****-sure young engineer from so many years ago. It is a great feeling. I even managed to complete the last bit of the first section to my book. It is now in the EB's hands. We shall see what is left of it.
Emotionally, I am fair. Not great and not bad. I wouldn't say that I am at peace, but I am definitely not in conflict with myself anymore at this stage. I feel that this is progress. Thanks for all the posts and PM's, they really do mean a lot to me. I enjoy responding to them as much as I enjoy reading them. I guess I have been hiding away from people for far too long.
Well it is going well with me. I really cannot wait for the last bit of building work to now be completed. I want to get into the garden and get it presentable. I am not sure what I am going to do then. I will find something I am sure. By then we should be into the windy season - so it will be time to take the kites out.
I am finding out more about myself as I progress down this line. There are things that I thought were gone forever. It is surprising how they do return. I am trying new things, things I would not normally eat. Mushrooms and such, and they're not too bad. Usually I would have just scraped them to the side instead of eating them.
I forgot to say this to someone today in a PM, but here it is. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think - why do I not feel any different today compared to yesterday. Well physically and mentally I don't, but what I forgot to say was this - each day brings along something new that I re-discover. I suppose that is the difference today compared to yesterday.
I mentioned the books I have read about recovery earlier on in a post. I would recommend them as there is some really good stuff there. I am going to re-iterate, I took what worked for me and discarded what didn't. I do want to make it very clear - it didn't work for me now, but that is not to say it wont work for me in the future. Every little weapon in our arsenal helps. I am not for and neither am I against any group of recovery. Anything that helps you or me to recover is good. SR and what I have read have done it for me. And those of you in the background that have listened to my endless drivelling. For that I say thanks - I really don't have the words to express my gratitude. I do have some "normies" that follow this thread so I have to give a shout out to them.
I am going to have to ask the GB about the headaches though. I am now at my wits end. I suspect it is a combination of things. Diet, too many cigarettes, poor hydration, too much coffee etc. I am fine some days, but others are just a killer. Some days I am popping the headache powders back like sweets. It is almost as bad as when I was drinking.
Anyway, one more day down. A few hours to rest. Then I can re-commit myself to not having a drink tomorrow. The cats are in. The writing is on the wall - bed time dad.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB