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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 7

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Old 03-05-2016, 06:58 PM
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Dee so sorry for your loss. And truly thank you for all you do here!

JL - I think you're doing what you need to do, though - feeling the feels so to speak. We've all muted our feelings with alcohol in the past. Now they're rushing through. Be kind to yourself. Take deep breaths. Besides only discussing the feelings though - think back to things you two enjoyed doing together perhaps. Babysitters, date night or afternoon - what do you like to do? I know this may sound simpler than it will be but you can get there. Long walk and talk maybe. Acknowledge things, but recognize the past is the past and you can promise you're working on a better YOU for the future, maybe she can agree to work on a better HER, and together work on a better couple.
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Caramel View Post
Condolences on your bereavement, Dee, and thank you for all you do here
Ditto from me, Dee!!

If I ever make it back to Oz [and ideally to NZ, as I've stated], I'd like to meet y'all in person!

Tasmania also looks interesting.

I should probably go back on the ADHD meds, huh?
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:20 PM
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Just checking in. I'm ending another day sober. It's Day 30!!! Woo hoo!! It has actually flown by. My mind & body feel so much better. I still have struggling times but its getting easier. I haven't been on here in a few days so I'm way behind on reading all the posts. I hope everyone is doing well & staying sober!!
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:26 PM
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Congratulations on 30 days!
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:27 PM
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congrats njdellis

D
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
Yes, Dee, thank you. I am certain you've saved more lives than chemotherapy. I think of Dee like those guys in the final scene in Titanic right before the ship breaks up, who are in the electrical room desperately pushing in breakers to keep the lights on, even when the ship is at about a 45 degree angle! Whenever the Feb group has about three simultaneous meltdowns, I think to myself, "Dee's gonna have to shove in a bunch of breakers to keep the lights on again!"
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with you, Dee. I personally owe you a lot. I haven't really posted about how low I got, but it's not an exaggeration to say I was headed for death. Dee, you prevented that. Thank you.
Yes, ditto what OOTT said. Except, I imagine Dee trying to herd cats. I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time, Dee.
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:53 PM
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I'm not one to share much, but thanks everyone for the kind words.

and yeah it's a tough job but someones got to do it



D
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Old 03-05-2016, 07:59 PM
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Today has been really tough. I worked a double at my job, which I've been burnt out on for a long time. I've never had a problem of relating to ppl, sober or drunk, in my life. I relate to no one in this place. It's fast paced and tiring which is ok but poorly managed. I'm planning to leave it soon when I move in April, white knuckling through it until then.

I left about an hour ago, all amped up mentally, but physically exhausted. There's plenty of liquor stops on the way home, I pondered each. It was apathy pushing me, Why the f*ck not? Driving by each store I thought about how miserable I would be tommorow... and the next day... and the next day. It worked... barely. I got some food, ate it, feel a little better as far as cravings go but coming home to a cold empty house (bro and his gf on a ski trip) is pretty depressing. There's also a ton of very fine booze here. Ive posted before that I'm moving in April but that doesn't help me tonight.

All the people here just pissed me off, sober or drunk. I recently moved to this new area because I have some family here... never should have left where I was. The grass truly looked greener, it's not. Apathy setting in... desperation... funny, I was two months sober before I moved here..

I'm not going to drink tonight. I'm going to suck it up and feel ******... I guess it's how I am supposed to feel at the moment... it will pass...

I'm in my bed now, safe for tonight... tonight has been the hardest night since the first. I'm going to go back to facing this AV hour by hour... minute by minute... thanks for listening. I hope everyone is safe tonight.
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Old 03-05-2016, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm not one to share much, but thanks everyone for the kind words.

and yeah it's a tough job but someones got to do it



D
Floyd!! He's my favorite after Animal
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Old 03-05-2016, 08:32 PM
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Good job jobei. Hang in there until you can move. You HAVE to get out of that toxic environment.
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Old 03-05-2016, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
Good job jobei. Hang in there until you can move. You HAVE to get out of that toxic environment.
Yea the environment is not good and I'm working towards changing it. I'm just pissed off today. Having a hard time calming myself down. I'm resting and that will help but my mind is racing. Going back in my head to how sick I was just a week ago helps me not want to drink but makes me mad I made myself that sick in the first place.
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Old 03-05-2016, 09:23 PM
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Hey guys! Big hugs to you all missed you guys! Dee I am sorry for your loss
You guys all rock. I thought about you guys lots while I was away from electronic devices. Trying to unplug a bit and plug back into real life, spend some time at the farm with my daughter and step daughter. It was a beautiful day. I miss my older two kids terribly. I started in on the step 4 work today... shew. Went to one of my fave meetings tonight which I really needed, and it bolstered my spirit tremendously.
SO glad I went.... I shed some tears today after talking to my son on the phone. Then I left the girls at the farm for the meeting and I'm back at home with the roommate(s) and I damn near got slapped in the face with a very attractive bottle of wine in the fridge! frack. If I hadn't put my time in today I know where my head would be sleeping tonight. In that fridge.

I hope you are all doing well. I tried to read all the posts but I know as soon as I start naming names I will forget someone. BUT I think you are all awesome and this is an awesome class, and each of you are important to me. I am so grateful for everyone's input, insights, and stories of your lives. I know I couldn't have gotten this far without you all. So thank you for my sobriety. And I wish you all a very amazing sunday full of love and another 24 sober.
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Old 03-05-2016, 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Delizadee View Post
Hey guys! Big hugs to you all missed you guys! Dee I am sorry for your loss
You guys all rock. I thought about you guys lots while I was away from electronic devices. Trying to unplug a bit and plug back into real life, spend some time at the farm with my daughter and step daughter. It was a beautiful day. I miss my older two kids terribly. I started in on the step 4 work today... shew. Went to one of my fave meetings tonight which I really needed, and it bolstered my spirit tremendously.
SO glad I went.... I shed some tears today after talking to my son on the phone. Then I left the girls at the farm for the meeting and I'm back at home with the roommate(s) and I damn near got slapped in the face with a very attractive bottle of wine in the fridge! frack. If I hadn't put my time in today I know where my head would be sleeping tonight. In that fridge.

I hope you are all doing well. I tried to read all the posts but I know as soon as I start naming names I will forget someone. BUT I think you are all awesome and this is an awesome class, and each of you are important to me. I am so grateful for everyone's input, insights, and stories of your lives. I know I couldn't have gotten this far without you all. So thank you for my sobriety. And I wish you all a very amazing sunday full of love and another 24 sober.
Most excellent Delizadee
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Old 03-05-2016, 11:57 PM
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Im sorry for your loss Dee. I've lost a child to cancer so I'm no stranger to pain and loss. There's nothing like it when it's your own child.
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:08 AM
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No hard feelings here Coco.
I wouldn't have mentioned it at all had it not been relevant to my absence.

I've never been a parent.
I'm sorry for your loss

D
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:19 AM
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I hadn't noticed your absence. I now know you volunteer with SR. I thought you might have but I wasn't sure. I have never expected instant replies from you or anybody. I was just hurt when you were online and around when I was, and did post to others here and not me. It just seems you post in reply to the same small group of people all the time (eg... OOTT being 1 example). Could just be me thinking that. Now I'm sounding jealous. ....it's not that....it's about 1 member posting a struggle and another posting something like they are going to do some gardening.....and the person struggling being completely overlooked yet the person thinking about gardening gets a big reply. I just don't get that I'm sorry.
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:24 AM
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To be honest, I feel like you haven't really read anything I've posted today either, especially about what my role is here.

but...the last thing I want to do is get into an argument tonight.

I'll try and do better by you, Cococo....when I get back.
Back in a couple of days, guys

D
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:33 AM
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Im not trying to engage you in an argument. Im very much a peacekeeper type actually. I thank you for being a volunteer Dee. It says a lot about you. You are wanting to help people. I am pointing out how I feel and see things. I could be completely wrong. I hope you get a good sleep. And all the best for the next couple of days. I really mean that. C x
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:39 AM
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Thanks Cococo. I appreciate that

D
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Old 03-06-2016, 12:51 AM
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I'm heading to bed sober again tonight. I sleep so much better these days. At least I will wake up in the morning not feeling blah.

Night everyone.
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