Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 7
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by knb02 
Yes you do! And a lot of posters on here do as well. Post when you get back home. Safe journey xx
It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.
I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.
I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.
I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by JL2014
I feel like I'm in a bad place, but I'm just recognizing that being in a bad place drunk or DTing, is far far worse. I've had enough of that.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Pampering me and congrats on 19 days Freedom.
Welcome back to you too Cococo.
Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.
Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.
The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you
I have to address this personally cococo.
I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.
Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?
D
Welcome back to you too Cococo.
Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.
Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.
The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you
There were even members and SR administrators online at the same time, but nothing. Is it a hint to bugger off to March thread or elsewhere.
I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.
Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?
D
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Cococo
I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Dee74
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Originally Posted by Cococo
Just pulled over to let coco stretch her legs and go for a wee. Not far from home now. Had to meet furniture delivery people at my and my ex's family bach to deliver new beds etc. My ex brought some new furniture but couldn't meet them down there.
It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.
I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.
I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.
I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?
It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.
I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.
I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.
I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?
Anyway. Hugs !!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome Pampering me and congrats on 19 days Freedom.
Welcome back to you too Cococo.
Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.
Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.
The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you
I have to address this personally cococo.
I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.
Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?
D
Welcome back to you too Cococo.
Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.
Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.
The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you
I have to address this personally cococo.
I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.
Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Everyones fine.
I'm sorry you're taking this personally Coco .
Let me explain a little about what I see as my role here.
This thread works best when it's you guys helping each other out.
Anna and I will post to congratulate folks or when we have something to say, but it's your thread
It's also my job to make sure noone gets missed.
I'm sorry it's happened at least twice in this thread recently.
Obviously, as I explained, that's something I can't deal with right now.
We've had big classes before and we've had the occasional person feel left out, but it's pretty rare given the numbers.
Things worked out. I hope they'll work out here as well.
Focus on your recovery guys.
Believe me, your AV will use whatever it can to distract you.
D
I'm sorry you're taking this personally Coco .
Let me explain a little about what I see as my role here.
This thread works best when it's you guys helping each other out.
Anna and I will post to congratulate folks or when we have something to say, but it's your thread
It's also my job to make sure noone gets missed.
I'm sorry it's happened at least twice in this thread recently.
Obviously, as I explained, that's something I can't deal with right now.
We've had big classes before and we've had the occasional person feel left out, but it's pretty rare given the numbers.
Things worked out. I hope they'll work out here as well.
Focus on your recovery guys.
Believe me, your AV will use whatever it can to distract you.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Hey, the traveling "boots on the ground" folks seeking to convert people to [religious denomination omitted] just came to the front door. Guess who answered the door fully dressed and sober like a functional adult, for the first time in about three years? Me, that's who! I was polite and friendly, and just pleased as all get out to not be breathing vodka fumes onto them and generally looking like a pathetic, paralytic drunk.
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
Originally Posted by JL2014
Cococo I care !!!
I'm skipping around trying to post but ppl are crying, I'm hearing about things I've done to hurt my wife and underneath it all I'm trying to stay strong and her get a plan going. Gotta get better before we can work on us. It's very hard, very painful, and we both feel alone. Now when we have alone time, one of cries and gives a list of things the other one has done, and apparently were not forgiving one another enough, or at all. I told her once again therapy is in order because we've put things above "us" in importance til there literally is no "us" there. We both feel hurt and alone. This is horrible and I literally would rather kill myself than knowingly do this to a person. If I had done this on purpose and saw that, I'd be gone before anyone knew it.
Today is horribly sad, and I'm damn tired of sad.
It'll work out, but it'll take both of us, laying aside our beat down tools we use on each other either wittingly or unknowingly.
I feel like I'm in a bad place, but I'm just recognizing that being in a bad place drunk or DTing, is far far worse. I've had enough of that.
Sorry for the dark tone. Life is hard and feeling alone sucks. We've both done that to each other.
Sober sober sober
I'm skipping around trying to post but ppl are crying, I'm hearing about things I've done to hurt my wife and underneath it all I'm trying to stay strong and her get a plan going. Gotta get better before we can work on us. It's very hard, very painful, and we both feel alone. Now when we have alone time, one of cries and gives a list of things the other one has done, and apparently were not forgiving one another enough, or at all. I told her once again therapy is in order because we've put things above "us" in importance til there literally is no "us" there. We both feel hurt and alone. This is horrible and I literally would rather kill myself than knowingly do this to a person. If I had done this on purpose and saw that, I'd be gone before anyone knew it.
Today is horribly sad, and I'm damn tired of sad.
It'll work out, but it'll take both of us, laying aside our beat down tools we use on each other either wittingly or unknowingly.
I feel like I'm in a bad place, but I'm just recognizing that being in a bad place drunk or DTing, is far far worse. I've had enough of that.
Sorry for the dark tone. Life is hard and feeling alone sucks. We've both done that to each other.
Sober sober sober
Please keep at it. Keep talking [and listening!], even though the crying is hard. Don't beat yourself [nor her] up too much about the past, just focus on the present.
A therapist definitely helps, if you find the right one!
It's hard with young kids, but really just making the marriage a top priority is key, even if the kids feel a bit slighted.
Hang in there, I definitely feel your pain. It's what I've been trying to numb with the booze.
Just took my first Campral!
edit:
"I made so much more progress in one year by doing a few small things consistently than I did in thirty years of overthinking and massive to-do lists. I saw that my tendency to want things perfect meant spending most of my time pining for results or feeling overwhelmed by my own inaction. Ishita Gupta"
I like this quote, Auggie, I like it a lot. Thanks
Last edited by GardenGal; 03-05-2016 at 06:45 PM. Reason: add quote
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Yes, Dee, thank you. I am certain you've saved more lives than chemotherapy. I think of Dee like those guys in the final scene in Titanic right before the ship breaks up, who are in the electrical room desperately pushing in breakers to keep the lights on, even when the ship is at about a 45 degree angle! Whenever the Feb group has about three simultaneous meltdowns, I think to myself, "Dee's gonna have to shove in a bunch of breakers to keep the lights on again!"
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with you, Dee. I personally owe you a lot. I haven't really posted about how low I got, but it's not an exaggeration to say I was headed for death. Dee, you prevented that. Thank you.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with you, Dee. I personally owe you a lot. I haven't really posted about how low I got, but it's not an exaggeration to say I was headed for death. Dee, you prevented that. Thank you.
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
Originally Posted by Mel12
Hi Cococo, I know I am just a dumb jock, but I like you!! And I really appreciate all the value and vibe you bring to this forum--a forum which ends up saving people lives, when you really think about it!
Please don't beat yourself up. You KNOW that Aspie kids can be like that. My mother was always distant, likely for the same reason. Just keep hugging him anyway, and he will come around. Do yo make him look you in the eye? I do with my son. In fact, the book "Look Me in the Eye" is very enlightening, written by an Aspie raised in a totally screwed up family [his father was an alcoholic, IIRC].
http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Li.../dp/0307396185
Your life will get better CC, I just know it. You have a lot to give. You have given this class so much! **big hug**
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