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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 7

Old 03-05-2016, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by knb02 View Post
I am 40 days sober :-))))
Great to see you KNB! Missed you!!
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:50 PM
  # 242 (permalink)  
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Congrats Badger and Cute

I don't think it's trivial Safeandsound - if it's important to you it's important to us

D
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:54 PM
  # 243 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by knb02 View Post
Yes you do! And a lot of posters on here do as well. Post when you get back home. Safe journey xx
Just pulled over to let coco stretch her legs and go for a wee. Not far from home now. Had to meet furniture delivery people at my and my ex's family bach to deliver new beds etc. My ex brought some new furniture but couldn't meet them down there.

It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.

I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.

I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.

I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:56 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
I feel like I'm in a bad place, but I'm just recognizing that being in a bad place drunk or DTing, is far far worse. I've had enough of that.
JL, I hear you loud and clear! Drinking is over for me.
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:57 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
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Welcome Pampering me and congrats on 19 days Freedom.

Welcome back to you too Cococo.

Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.

Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.

The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you

There were even members and SR administrators online at the same time, but nothing. Is it a hint to bugger off to March thread or elsewhere.
I have to address this personally cococo.

I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.

Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.

Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?

D
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:05 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody.
Hi Cococo, I know I am just a dumb jock, but I like you!! And I really appreciate all the value and vibe you bring to this forum--a forum which ends up saving people lives, when you really think about it!
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:06 PM
  # 247 (permalink)  
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We care about you, Co x 3.
JL, hang in there.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:09 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
Dee - I've said it before, and I'll say it again. YOU DA MAN!! I owe you thanks many times over for your unflagging help to me.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:09 PM
  # 249 (permalink)  
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At the end of the day we all here say we care etc but really everybody has there own lives etc and we don't truly know each other.

Mel please don't say that about yourself.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:09 PM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Just pulled over to let coco stretch her legs and go for a wee. Not far from home now. Had to meet furniture delivery people at my and my ex's family bach to deliver new beds etc. My ex brought some new furniture but couldn't meet them down there.

It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.

I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.

I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.

I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?
I like you Cococo. I'm your friend because I care about you and want good things for you in your life. This not BS; it's true because the common thread of the hell alcohol has wreaked upon our lives is something we all have in common and we can empathize with towards one another. My life is a sad painful mess that hiding from with booze made worse. I don't even see how we're together. Loving the other person no matter what goes on is the only thing, I believe.
Anyway. Hugs !!!
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome Pampering me and congrats on 19 days Freedom.

Welcome back to you too Cococo.

Can I just say tho to everyone - this is a BIG class. It's always possible posts will get overlooked in the rush.

Before taking it personally, I really like everyone to count to ten, and then maybe post again (use big red letters if you like) or try another thread - you can always start a thread in main forum.

The simplest explanation is always the best. Noone's ignoring you



I have to address this personally cococo.

I'm not around very much because I've had a bereavement.

Anna's not around much at the moment either for personal reasons.

Even when we are here, we have literally *hundreds* of threads per day to look at.
We don't get paid for this - we're volunteers - give us a break, ok?

D
Sorry, Dee. We'll try to behave.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:12 PM
  # 252 (permalink)  
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Dee please don't bother! I'm not interested.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:15 PM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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Cococo. Sorry I missed the thread. I do care. You are always welcome to pm me if something is going on.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:15 PM
  # 254 (permalink)  
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It's no wonder I turned to alcohol it seemed my only friend in a sad sad sad life.

Anyway....back on the road now
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:29 PM
  # 255 (permalink)  
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Everyones fine.
I'm sorry you're taking this personally Coco .

Let me explain a little about what I see as my role here.

This thread works best when it's you guys helping each other out.

Anna and I will post to congratulate folks or when we have something to say, but it's your thread

It's also my job to make sure noone gets missed.
I'm sorry it's happened at least twice in this thread recently.

Obviously, as I explained, that's something I can't deal with right now.

We've had big classes before and we've had the occasional person feel left out, but it's pretty rare given the numbers.

Things worked out. I hope they'll work out here as well.

Focus on your recovery guys.
Believe me, your AV will use whatever it can to distract you.

D
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:35 PM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Hey, the traveling "boots on the ground" folks seeking to convert people to [religious denomination omitted] just came to the front door. Guess who answered the door fully dressed and sober like a functional adult, for the first time in about three years? Me, that's who! I was polite and friendly, and just pleased as all get out to not be breathing vodka fumes onto them and generally looking like a pathetic, paralytic drunk.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:36 PM
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Condolences on your bereavement, Dee, and thank you for all you do here
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:41 PM
  # 258 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Cococo I care !!!
I'm skipping around trying to post but ppl are crying, I'm hearing about things I've done to hurt my wife and underneath it all I'm trying to stay strong and her get a plan going. Gotta get better before we can work on us. It's very hard, very painful, and we both feel alone. Now when we have alone time, one of cries and gives a list of things the other one has done, and apparently were not forgiving one another enough, or at all. I told her once again therapy is in order because we've put things above "us" in importance til there literally is no "us" there. We both feel hurt and alone. This is horrible and I literally would rather kill myself than knowingly do this to a person. If I had done this on purpose and saw that, I'd be gone before anyone knew it.
Today is horribly sad, and I'm damn tired of sad.
It'll work out, but it'll take both of us, laying aside our beat down tools we use on each other either wittingly or unknowingly.
I feel like I'm in a bad place, but I'm just recognizing that being in a bad place drunk or DTing, is far far worse. I've had enough of that.
Sorry for the dark tone. Life is hard and feeling alone sucks. We've both done that to each other.
Sober sober sober
You're doing the right thing, and my husband has said some of the things you just did. We've been at this 'repair the damage' for a few years now, and I haven't helped by going into an alcohol spiral.

Please keep at it. Keep talking [and listening!], even though the crying is hard. Don't beat yourself [nor her] up too much about the past, just focus on the present.

A therapist definitely helps, if you find the right one!

It's hard with young kids, but really just making the marriage a top priority is key, even if the kids feel a bit slighted.

Hang in there, I definitely feel your pain. It's what I've been trying to numb with the booze.

Just took my first Campral!

edit:
"I made so much more progress in one year by doing a few small things consistently than I did in thirty years of overthinking and massive to-do lists. I saw that my tendency to want things perfect meant spending most of my time pining for results or feeling overwhelmed by my own inaction. Ishita Gupta"

I like this quote, Auggie, I like it a lot. Thanks

Last edited by GardenGal; 03-05-2016 at 06:45 PM. Reason: add quote
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:44 PM
  # 259 (permalink)  
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Yes, Dee, thank you. I am certain you've saved more lives than chemotherapy. I think of Dee like those guys in the final scene in Titanic right before the ship breaks up, who are in the electrical room desperately pushing in breakers to keep the lights on, even when the ship is at about a 45 degree angle! Whenever the Feb group has about three simultaneous meltdowns, I think to myself, "Dee's gonna have to shove in a bunch of breakers to keep the lights on again!"
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with you, Dee. I personally owe you a lot. I haven't really posted about how low I got, but it's not an exaggeration to say I was headed for death. Dee, you prevented that. Thank you.
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Old 03-05-2016, 06:52 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mel12 View Post
Hi Cococo, I know I am just a dumb jock, but I like you!! And I really appreciate all the value and vibe you bring to this forum--a forum which ends up saving people lives, when you really think about it!
I feel the same way!! And I'm not even a jock any more.

Please don't beat yourself up. You KNOW that Aspie kids can be like that. My mother was always distant, likely for the same reason. Just keep hugging him anyway, and he will come around. Do yo make him look you in the eye? I do with my son. In fact, the book "Look Me in the Eye" is very enlightening, written by an Aspie raised in a totally screwed up family [his father was an alcoholic, IIRC].

http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Li.../dp/0307396185

Your life will get better CC, I just know it. You have a lot to give. You have given this class so much! **big hug**
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