bblackbirdflyy

No good enfin. I hope he can change too. :/

bblackbirdflyy

Gets me too. I used to refuse to believe in pms mood swings, till I tried to stay sober at that time of the month. It's real... I spose. hope your doc can help.

bblackbirdflyy

Congrats on the big 50 kiki!!!

bblackbirdflyy

Spose he is struggling with the change too. Hope it gets easier for him to accept, rah. Hang in there.

patricia68

I'm frustrated with my doctors. The first thing they ask is if my cycle is regular. When I say yes, they say well it's not menopause yet, so you should be ok. Well I'm not ok!

I plan on discussing it with my new naturopathic doctor. I hope she can help me!

Keepnitreal

Sorry For the slip Patricia---I know you're under a lot of pressure, but remember that is starts with 1 drink that we think didn't cause any harm.
I hope your counselor can point you in the right direction and your doctor can help you with the PMS. They have treatment to help you along during those days! This I can attest too

Rah-that's a tough position to be in. I guess hubby needs to decide which is most important to him...and you too! Is there a safe place you guys could go together to watch the games without the booze?

Keepnitreal

What about peri menopause?
My doctor put me on a very low dose of Zoloft for 7 -10 days during my cycle because I feel soooo irritable. It's really helped me....you stop taking it as soon as you start! They also put people on birth control, even if it's not needed, to regulate hormones. Blood pressure and other negative side effects can be an issue though. Maybe you can ask your doctor about one of those options.
Hang in there.

Fabat50

Well done Kiki. Drink and cigarettes at the same time! You really are kicking ....

Keep going keep going keep going. (I had an unexpected craving totally out of the blue this afternoon whilst I was cleaning my windows! I laughed afterwards because it was like getting trying to through a contraction.. I was huffing and puffing and walking around as if I was in agony. But it passed!)

Take care. x

patricia68

I'm definitely going to ask my Dr Keepnitreal. One thing is to have to deal with some physical discomfort during those days, but I can't risk my sobriety because my hormones go crazy.

enfinthechange

I never ever thought of that for a reason drinking... but u are probably right... lets see what happens in the future months! It sounds so tough for some of you... I hope u get some relief!

32/36 days sober... that's a lot of %... and no extreme drinking. ... now finished day 3 in a row... lets rock on till I beat the last stretch of 26 days... it's not worth resetting the clock. No benefit at all.

Work tomorrow. .. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fabat50

I am going to say something here that will probably make me unpopular Patricia but suggesting that PMS is a reason for drinking is going a bit far in my book. Many people manage to stop get sober and stay sober for life despite grappling with all kinds of problems.. major depression, serious illnesses, mental health problems, menopause, trauma, abuse, divorce etc etc. At some point we need to decide that we are stronger than all that and that we are not going to pick up that drink, no matter what, ever. PMS doesn't make you drink. You drink because you have not yet got a strategy for dealing with irritability or whatever else you feel at that time of the month.

You also talk about having had a drink but "no harm done". I would disagree with that. One drink, no matter how tiny or insignificant, is still compromising your sobriety.

I am saying this out of genuine concern for you. I myself was the Queen of excuses as to why I had that one off/little drink. But one day I realised you can't "sort of get sober". You either do or you don't.

Thinking of you.

enfinthechange

But it could be the excuse, and divert the problem thus giving u a reason for feeling g like **** being horrid and confused? ?? Deflect the problem...
I almost wanted to be drunk tonight so when tomorrow was horrible I had to cope with a hangover NOT the fact my job is too hard and I don't want to do it. Deflection. ... work was one of my reasons to drink... avoids the responsibility.

I agree we all need to stop the deflections. .. bloody AV!!!

enfinthechange

On unrelated news, I have printed out Dees suggested strategy document.on coping with downward spirals etc... am getting a folder and dividers tomorrow from work and am going to make an actual tool kit in writing! I like paper and starionary (a little too.much!!) So this is like a.project, on me!!! Not v good at me, so it will be tough... but could be the thing that makes it work.

After the drinks I had, I mentally charted the change in my internal headspace and it was interesting to note it took 3 days to stop feeling so bleak. .. and thus 3 days till the AV appeared back. But after 3 days i feel much more cheerful, connected and positive. The key being I have noticed it. It's not buried in a tonne of other crap. .. it was measurable. So proof of something I guess!

patricia68

Absolutely Fabat50! I have learned how to deal with the everyday anxiety with the help of my Dr and counselor. But I still have to find a strategy for when I feel overwhelmed and I seem to lose control of my emotions. I know there's something wrong with my hormones. Not only emotionally but also physically. I had labor pain last night while I was laying in bed and trying to sleep. That's not normal! An overwhelming anxiety is not normal! And yet the blood test that my Dr ordered came out normal...that's why I am confused.

What I meant with "no harm done" was that I was home. I didn't drive, I didn't blackout. I didn't get hurt, nobody else got hurt. I meant that I was lucky enough that there were no serious consequences. That doesn't make it less serious. I do worry about my sobriety. There's obviously something missing in my plan to stay sober. And I am willing to work harder to make a better pan with the help of my Dr, counsellor and SR.

Dee74

I'm sorry about your friend BBF.


Yeah, he's made comments like this before, I remember.

I think you're making good decisions for yourself tho rah - I think it's something you'll have to deal with Rah... it's hard to explain alcoholism to someone who hasn't got it.

I'm sorry you drank Patricia but I'm glad you came back.

If you think PMS or peri-menopause is a factor here then by all means see your Dr.

D

Missy7

Back to day one,,,but back

SoberMarathon

Well done Kiki!!! That's an amazing milestone, you deserve it!!

KiKi0615

Ok guys...now I'm in a funk. Not drinking...just feel depressed. I just posted this in the NewComers section hoping for some advice but if you guys have any, that would be great.

-----------------------------------------------

I am only 50 days sober & am finding myself strongly disliking my husband. He's not a bad guy...he's actually a good guy. We have been married for 18 years. I just feel like alcohol was hurting our marriage & now I feel like sobriety is hurting our marriage too! Ugh!

I was trying to plan a family vacation today to the beach for the spring & I just started crying and realized I just don't want to go! I thought about "why" I don't want to go & it's because I don't want to spend all that time with my husband.

He's a "normal" drinker and I know if we go he will want to drink "normally". I can't drink AT ALL because I'm an alcoholic. It makes me feel inadequate. If he drinks it will really bother me b/c he gets buzzed really easy & it triggers me. If he doesn't drink (which he won't if I ask him not to), he will pout the whole time. It's a lose-lose situation.

For a long time the only fun we ever had together was when we were drinking...at least that's what it seemed like to me. Now I don't drink and he wishes I could drink "normally" with him and I feel like we just aren't on the same page anymore & have nothing in common.

I've been really depressed about this all day. Does any of this make sense? Any experience with this? I feel really sad....

Thank you

patricia68

Kiki, I've been in the same situation. My husband suggested to take a holiday in the spring. He thinks that it would help our marriage. I don't want to go. He is also a "normal" drinker. But I realized that his drinking is not the problem, I just don't want to spend time with him. It scares me to face the reality that we won't enjoy a holiday together. It scares me to spend time with him only to realize that I don't enjoy being around him.

I have no idea how to deal with this...I wish I could give you some better advice...

tatersalad

Just checking in . Went out last weekend to a going away party for a dear friend of mine that is moving out of state. I sat there at the bar from 6:00- 3:00am with most of my life long friends / ex- drinking buddies and did not have one beer. But i did give in to a good luck toast of a mint luquor shot in his name. It was tiny and i hate that stuff anyway so i didnt feel any urge to drink any more.
Now i realize it technically was alchohol but im not acknowledging it as a slip. I acomplished my goal of not experiencing any effects of alchohol and proving to myself that i dont need to drink to enjoy those peoples company. I had a lot of fun.... Actualy more than i recall having drunk.
What suprised me is how much people respected my decision (even though they had a million questions).
Anyway needless to say by the end of the night i was the only one still sober to drive the straglers home. Lol and not a moment too soon.... Their jokes and stories where starting to get old after their drunk asses kept repeting them over and over (you know what I mean)