Class of November 2015 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi, All. I am sorry to hear that so many are struggling right now. Patricia, are you doing okay? Please don't let the problem with your husband derail you. You CAN get through this sober. You had so much anxiety when you quit back in November - I don't want you to have to go through that and the withdrawals all over again. Is there someone you can call? Please check in and let us know how how you are doing.
Well I finally did it, I went to my first AA meeting. I've pondered it for months and have been so scared just because I'm shy and haven't met other alcoholics in person (other than family members and friends), and guess what, it was a room full of women who look just like the women you would see anywhere! Surprise! It was a great meeting.
Kiki, thank you so much for the encouragement to attend the meetings. You were right, everyone was so friendly and welcoming. I felt very safe. Afterward a few women gave me their phone numbers and recommended other meetings for me to attend. I'm so proud of myself for being brave and making a big step in my recovery.
The reason I finally went to a meeting is because I had an epiphany of sorts last night: the reason I haven't wanted to go to AA is the same reason I drank, I don't like dealing with things. I just like things to go away. I just want my alcoholism to go away. Like hopefully if I just never drink I won't have a problem. But I know that's not how recovery works. I have to DEAL with my alcoholism. And AA is a way to deal with it. So I went and it was great and I will be going to many more.
To those who have slipped, I am glad you are back here. I have slipped many, many times before. Add more tools to your toolbox. Do something different this time. We are here to support you.
Well I finally did it, I went to my first AA meeting. I've pondered it for months and have been so scared just because I'm shy and haven't met other alcoholics in person (other than family members and friends), and guess what, it was a room full of women who look just like the women you would see anywhere! Surprise! It was a great meeting.
Kiki, thank you so much for the encouragement to attend the meetings. You were right, everyone was so friendly and welcoming. I felt very safe. Afterward a few women gave me their phone numbers and recommended other meetings for me to attend. I'm so proud of myself for being brave and making a big step in my recovery.
The reason I finally went to a meeting is because I had an epiphany of sorts last night: the reason I haven't wanted to go to AA is the same reason I drank, I don't like dealing with things. I just like things to go away. I just want my alcoholism to go away. Like hopefully if I just never drink I won't have a problem. But I know that's not how recovery works. I have to DEAL with my alcoholism. And AA is a way to deal with it. So I went and it was great and I will be going to many more.
To those who have slipped, I am glad you are back here. I have slipped many, many times before. Add more tools to your toolbox. Do something different this time. We are here to support you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal 
Fab-that is truly awesome! That's a lot of weight to lose from not drinking. Do you find you're not eating as much?
You'll look Fab at 50 for sure! Congrats on 56 days...I'm one behind ya!
You'll look Fab at 50 for sure! Congrats on 56 days...I'm one behind ya!
It would be nice to meet someone and have a meaningful Relationship this year when I start to feel better about myself. Since my divorce many years ago I have just bounced from one drink fuelled catastrophic relationship to another making bad choice after bad choice. Let's see..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy
Wow that's great fabat! I have only lost 5lbs max, but haven't been pushing myself since this week. I hate my body right now, need to lose a good 40-50 lbs. It's been bugging me today.
Be patient. Slower you use the llbs more likely they are to stay off! Let's keep each other posted. xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
You ok Patricia?!?
Everybody is telling me not to make any decisions. But my husband made the decision for us. He doesn't want this life any more. He wants to be free. I am just delaying the pain, but I know what's going to happen. I know what's coming next.
I spent 15 years believing what he said. That all I had to do was to try harder and he would be happier...it didn't work. Now I need to believe that I am good enough. I need to love myself again and trust myself. And I have no idea how to do that...
Stop drinking and taking medication was the first step. But building confidence...I'm not sure how to work on that...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by Fabat50
I am eating pretty much the same as before meal wise but I have been lucky in that I have not had the sweet and ice cream cravings that a lot of people on SR seem to experience in early recovery. Also, being drunk sometimes used to trigger some late night binge eating for me and obviously that has stopped. But overall I think it is simply stopping the booze and getting out walking everday. Fabat50 here I come (50 later in the year so I still have time to get into great shape)
It would be nice to meet someone and have a meaningful Relationship this year when I start to feel better about myself. Since my divorce many years ago I have just bounced from one drink fuelled catastrophic relationship to another making bad choice after bad choice. Let's see..
It would be nice to meet someone and have a meaningful Relationship this year when I start to feel better about myself. Since my divorce many years ago I have just bounced from one drink fuelled catastrophic relationship to another making bad choice after bad choice. Let's see..
That would be great if you could meet someone really cool a little later on. We will hold that intention out there for you.
Late night snacking is my greatest downfall. I've lost 24 pounds over the last 5 months, but only about 6 since I stopped drinking. (I'll take that) I'm pretty much finished with the weight loss portion of my program. I've been using the 21 Day fix extreme (clean eating and crazy work outs) I've just started a new weight/workout system called Hammer and Chisel. (This one works on growth, endurance, balance). I've got new muscles all over the place and sore ones that I didn't know even existed. It's a great way to tone up...especially us ladies past 40! I even have ab muscles again! Lol.
You might want to check it out. It's really helped me stay focused on health and wellness and I do it at home. (It was pretty hard to work out when I was always sporting a hangover)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by patricia68
I'm not ok. But I will be fine.
Everybody is telling me not to make any decisions. But my husband made the decision for us. He doesn't want this life any more. He wants to be free. I am just delaying the pain, but I know what's going to happen. I know what's coming next.
I spent 15 years believing what he said. That all I had to do was to try harder and he would be happier...it didn't work. Now I need to believe that I am good enough. I need to love myself again and trust myself. And I have no idea how to do that...
Stop drinking and taking medication was the first step. But building confidence...I'm not sure how to work on that...
Everybody is telling me not to make any decisions. But my husband made the decision for us. He doesn't want this life any more. He wants to be free. I am just delaying the pain, but I know what's going to happen. I know what's coming next.
I spent 15 years believing what he said. That all I had to do was to try harder and he would be happier...it didn't work. Now I need to believe that I am good enough. I need to love myself again and trust myself. And I have no idea how to do that...
Stop drinking and taking medication was the first step. But building confidence...I'm not sure how to work on that...
If it's really bad you should do what you need to do. Maybe talk it through with a counselor and see if they think you're in a space to make that decision yet. Maybe it's right for you...especially if it's pushing you to want to drink.
You've come through so much already. Would he nicely leave since he's saying it's over or will it be a drama fest?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Fabat50
I have been a bit of a recluse since I had my last drink in mid November. Feeling up and down, not wanting to socialise (other than see my family at Xmas), not wanting friends and neighbours popping in unexpectedly because the house has not always been that tidy and I have spent a lot of time in my PJs. I have however been out walking the dog every day, good long walks, pushing myself up and down hills. Any how I was taking the rubbish out to the bins this morning when I saw one of my neighbours crossing the road waving hi manically to me. I wanted to run in and hide but it was too late so I walked towards her to wish her happy new year before she got to close to my house and then I would have to let her in! As we got closer she stopped short and said "wow, you look amazing, how much have you lost, how did you do that?" I was pleased as punch, I could feel I had lost that puffy pasty podgy alcoholic look around my face but, being overweight thanks to the 2 bottles of wine a night, I had not really noticed any body changes. I rushed back in the house to weigh myself: 56 days sober and minus 24lbs (11.5 kilos). It has really made my day I can tell you. So if any of you are roly poly like me there are good times ahead! Yet another reason to stay sober ! Hope you are all well. (By the way Ultradad, I did not know you previously had 14 months sober under your belt until I read your earlier post? That's great!! Come on, action mode now you should be teaching us all a thing or two!!)
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Originally Posted by patricia68
Everybody is telling me not to make any decisions. But my husband made the decision for us. He doesn't want this life any more. He wants to be free. I am just delaying the pain, but I know what's going to happen. I know what's coming next.
The link I gave you yesterday has a little on how to make plans and leave, if that's what you decide to do Patricia.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Hey guys... a humbling thing happened today... I went to a charity auction for a local lad with leukemia , they raised over 10, 000... and we are a small rural community! !! It was very community spirited. . Unfortunately everyone else was drunk and the highest bid of 350 was for an all day drinking session with 2 local lads. .... quite sad really and shockingly encouraging total obliteration drinking. Still, I drove and was sober ha... and won a massive hamper, full of booze!!!! Can't bloody win.....
Keep on being strong folks, u all inspire me to be a better person xx
Keep on being strong folks, u all inspire me to be a better person xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by SwimKim12
Hi, All. I am sorry to hear that so many are struggling right now. Patricia, are you doing okay? Please don't let the problem with your husband derail you. You CAN get through this sober. You had so much anxiety when you quit back in November - I don't want you to have to go through that and the withdrawals all over again. Is there someone you can call? Please check in and let us know how how you are doing. Well I finally did it, I went to my first AA meeting. I've pondered it for months and have been so scared just because I'm shy and haven't met other alcoholics in person (other than family members and friends), and guess what, it was a room full of women who look just like the women you would see anywhere! Surprise! It was a great meeting. Kiki, thank you so much for the encouragement to attend the meetings. You were right, everyone was so friendly and welcoming. I felt very safe. Afterward a few women gave me their phone numbers and recommended other meetings for me to attend. I'm so proud of myself for being brave and making a big step in my recovery. The reason I finally went to a meeting is because I had an epiphany of sorts last night: the reason I haven't wanted to go to AA is the same reason I drank, I don't like dealing with things. I just like things to go away. I just want my alcoholism to go away. Like hopefully if I just never drink I won't have a problem. But I know that's not how recovery works. I have to DEAL with my alcoholism. And AA is a way to deal with it. So I went and it was great and I will be going to many more. To those who have slipped, I am glad you are back here. I have slipped many, many times before. Add more tools to your toolbox. Do something different this time. We are here to support you.
I'm so glad you faced your fears! And yes, you're right, alcohol is just a "symptom" of our disease. We use alcohol to numb our feelings. Until we deal with the REASONS we want to "numb" our feelings....the underlying causes....we will never be able to stay sober. Or we may be "dry" and not drinking alcohol but we will be "white knuckling" it and will be miserable.
I am by no means saying that AA is the only way. I would never say that. Different people need different things. But for me AA works (in addition to SR and therapy). :-) I'm pretty screwed up so I need A LOT of tools! LOL.
I think anywhere you can find a room full of recovering alcoholics who truly understand what you're going through....is a great place for support. The only place in my city that has that is Alcoholics Anonymous. So that's where I go.
Oh, and I obviously absolutely love SR! Sober recovery.com is vital to my recovery too!
Anyway Kim, I'm very glad you face your fears and went to a meeting and liked it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by patricia68
I'm not ok. But I will be fine. Everybody is telling me not to make any decisions. But my husband made the decision for us. He doesn't want this life any more. He wants to be free. I am just delaying the pain, but I know what's going to happen. I know what's coming next. I spent 15 years believing what he said. That all I had to do was to try harder and he would be happier...it didn't work. Now I need to believe that I am good enough. I need to love myself again and trust myself. And I have no idea how to do that... Stop drinking and taking medication was the first step. But building confidence...I'm not sure how to work on that...
I know you can do this and I truly believe that if you keep working every day, things will get better. As far as building confidence, my sponsor told me that if I wanted self-esteem (aka confidence) I had to do a "esteemable" things. So every day I just wake up and I try to stay sober and be the best person I can for that 24 hour period. And I know that you're trying really hard Patricia and you're doing a really good job!!!
It sounds to me like your husband has destroyed your confidence. It makes me really sad. I have faith that you will get through this hard time in your life and I KNOW you will not only come out better but you'll come out so much stronger. As always I will keep you in my prayers. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Dee74
Sorry - I was trying to get across the point not to make any rash or impulsive decisions - not to stay put in something damaging to you and your child The link I gave you yesterday has a little on how to make plans and leave, if that's what you decide to do Patricia. D
The link I gave you yesterday has a little on how to make plans and leave, if that's what you decide to do Patricia. D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
That would be great if you could meet someone really cool a little later on. We will hold that intention out there for you.
Late night snacking is my greatest downfall. I've lost 24 pounds over the last 5 months, but only about 6 since I stopped drinking. (I'll take that) I'm pretty much finished with the weight loss portion of my program. I've been using the 21 Day fix extreme (clean eating and crazy work outs) I've just started a new weight/workout system called Hammer and Chisel. (This one works on growth, endurance, balance). I've got new muscles all over the place and sore ones that I didn't know even existed. It's a great way to tone up...especially us ladies past 40! I even have ab muscles again! Lol.
You might want to check it out. It's really helped me stay focused on health and wellness and I do it at home. (It was pretty hard to work out when I was always sporting a hangover)
Late night snacking is my greatest downfall. I've lost 24 pounds over the last 5 months, but only about 6 since I stopped drinking. (I'll take that) I'm pretty much finished with the weight loss portion of my program. I've been using the 21 Day fix extreme (clean eating and crazy work outs) I've just started a new weight/workout system called Hammer and Chisel. (This one works on growth, endurance, balance). I've got new muscles all over the place and sore ones that I didn't know even existed. It's a great way to tone up...especially us ladies past 40! I even have ab muscles again! Lol.
You might want to check it out. It's really helped me stay focused on health and wellness and I do it at home. (It was pretty hard to work out when I was always sporting a hangover)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Hey guys... a humbling thing happened today... I went to a charity auction for a local lad with leukemia , they raised over 10, 000... and we are a small rural community! !! It was very community spirited. . Unfortunately everyone else was drunk and the highest bid of 350 was for an all day drinking session with 2 local lads. .... quite sad really and shockingly encouraging total obliteration drinking. Still, I drove and was sober ha... and won a massive hamper, full of booze!!!! Can't bloody win..... Keep on being strong folks, u all inspire me to be a better person xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Patricia .. I'm sorry I have just read through the last few pages of this thread. Here I am babbling on about unimportant things like my weight when I can see you have much greater problems. Sorry to be insensitive. Will be thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Dee74
Sorry - I was trying to get across the point not to make any rash or impulsive decisions - not to stay put in something damaging to you and your child
The link I gave you yesterday has a little on how to make plans and leave, if that's what you decide to do Patricia.
D
The link I gave you yesterday has a little on how to make plans and leave, if that's what you decide to do Patricia.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by patricia68
i know dee. I've been reading the link you sent me all day today. It just hurts, i'm very emotional today. Facing reality hurts. But i'm not giving up
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
