Class of November 2015 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by SwimKim12 
Hi, All! Quick check in for me today. Had a good one: went to another meeting, had lunch with a dear friend, caught up with another friend on the phone, did some errands and chores and now getting ready for bed. Didn't get everything checked off on my to-do list for this wknd but the fact that I started going to meetings outweighs the other little to-do items right now 
Thank you all for being here and supporting one another. We can get through this together
Thank you all for being here and supporting one another. We can get through this together You're doing amazing Kim!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
....oh, thanx
Up and down I guess, Dee.......almost made it thru the weekend, but the tired and solitude just got to me on top of ten days of holiday.
Upside? Refused to get into the 'what the hell' mindset and got back home this evening.....holed up on the sofa and get back on here. I'm just going to stay here for a few hours and tomorrow's a new day.
And if I do that, then I've done exactly what I never usually do.
Up and down I guess, Dee.......almost made it thru the weekend, but the tired and solitude just got to me on top of ten days of holiday.
Upside? Refused to get into the 'what the hell' mindset and got back home this evening.....holed up on the sofa and get back on here. I'm just going to stay here for a few hours and tomorrow's a new day.
And if I do that, then I've done exactly what I never usually do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Hi all, checking in for the start of 2016 back at work, after a bit of struggle NYE had a meal out NY day with friends and kids, only my mate drinking, all day, beers and wine with the meal and more beers at home then polishing off pretty much a full bottle of rum.
I wasn't feeling any thoughts of missing out at that point I just thought it was pretty sad that he felt the need to get smashed on his own - realised that would have been me too a couple of months ago though, in a way it kind of helped me, realising how it has a grip especially the more you feed it as my mate who definitely has a problem accepts nothing of the sort, he's not a problem when drunk in the sense that he does remain in control however the amount he is drinking is excessive to say the least and on pretty much a daily basis from what I gather, his wife also in the same boat with amounts but also out of control on a number of occasions and a good few blackouts, she asked me a bit about things and took some interest in what I was telling her regarding where I am at and how I've managed to stop and why / what I have learned so far, said she is doing dry January altho unfortunately I have my doubts that it will last too long as I don't think she truly wants to stop just others telling her that she's causing problems and trying to do what she sees as the right thing / ticking boxes.
When I look around at all of our friends it seems that virtually everyone is a heavy drinker - not only my mates I'd go out with but anyone in our social circle pretty much, the only person that I know that is an exception to the rule is my wife, that really is a massive plus at present and something I am grateful for however as she does not have a problem asking her to miss out on things with friends as I don't feel at all comfortable is an issue that is going to arise more and more, it's the reason I went NYE when I didn't really want to.
Other friends have invited us to an event this weekend, a football match (my team) in their private box, which again means loads of booze around, the wife wants to go but won't go without me - I feel I have to make the extra effort as I am still making up for more than a few mistakes, just don't want to be around the boozy atmosphere with everyone laughing and joking and beer after beer when all I want to do is get right on it myself in that situation - knowing I can't and that I actually won't doesn't really help, I feel utterly miserable around it.
Biggest issue that is playing on my mind already and has been for weeks is our summer holiday, I'd managed to shelve it somewhat during Christmas but now its there again, already booked and paid for and I keep trying to get rid of the thought as it's not until August, however it is 2 weeks All Inclusive, one week at a hotel in Abu Dhabi with friends and then 1 week in Dubai at the same hotel we've been to the past 2 years and the same one where everything truly went pear shaped when I last drank on November 13th. There's more of our friends meeting us there.
I'm getting myself worked up already that I won't be able to cope with it there - all holidays have been about for as long as I can remember is drinking - 2 weeks of being able to drink as much as I want - heaven - 2 weeks of watching others drink - HELL !!
I'm telling myself sure I can do other things but I just cannot get it out of my head that the temptation there will be so overwhelming - I mentioned it to my wife and her reaction was why should we (her and my daughter) miss out on our holiday with friends, also that it is months away and not to worry about it - I know she's right with it being months away and in time I may feel different but as it is right now I don't see it ending well if I go somewhere like that.
Hoping with time and a few month down the road I may feel more at ease but the fact I'm even doing my head in about it this much already is a concern.
I wasn't feeling any thoughts of missing out at that point I just thought it was pretty sad that he felt the need to get smashed on his own - realised that would have been me too a couple of months ago though, in a way it kind of helped me, realising how it has a grip especially the more you feed it as my mate who definitely has a problem accepts nothing of the sort, he's not a problem when drunk in the sense that he does remain in control however the amount he is drinking is excessive to say the least and on pretty much a daily basis from what I gather, his wife also in the same boat with amounts but also out of control on a number of occasions and a good few blackouts, she asked me a bit about things and took some interest in what I was telling her regarding where I am at and how I've managed to stop and why / what I have learned so far, said she is doing dry January altho unfortunately I have my doubts that it will last too long as I don't think she truly wants to stop just others telling her that she's causing problems and trying to do what she sees as the right thing / ticking boxes.
When I look around at all of our friends it seems that virtually everyone is a heavy drinker - not only my mates I'd go out with but anyone in our social circle pretty much, the only person that I know that is an exception to the rule is my wife, that really is a massive plus at present and something I am grateful for however as she does not have a problem asking her to miss out on things with friends as I don't feel at all comfortable is an issue that is going to arise more and more, it's the reason I went NYE when I didn't really want to.
Other friends have invited us to an event this weekend, a football match (my team) in their private box, which again means loads of booze around, the wife wants to go but won't go without me - I feel I have to make the extra effort as I am still making up for more than a few mistakes, just don't want to be around the boozy atmosphere with everyone laughing and joking and beer after beer when all I want to do is get right on it myself in that situation - knowing I can't and that I actually won't doesn't really help, I feel utterly miserable around it.
Biggest issue that is playing on my mind already and has been for weeks is our summer holiday, I'd managed to shelve it somewhat during Christmas but now its there again, already booked and paid for and I keep trying to get rid of the thought as it's not until August, however it is 2 weeks All Inclusive, one week at a hotel in Abu Dhabi with friends and then 1 week in Dubai at the same hotel we've been to the past 2 years and the same one where everything truly went pear shaped when I last drank on November 13th. There's more of our friends meeting us there.
I'm getting myself worked up already that I won't be able to cope with it there - all holidays have been about for as long as I can remember is drinking - 2 weeks of being able to drink as much as I want - heaven - 2 weeks of watching others drink - HELL !!
I'm telling myself sure I can do other things but I just cannot get it out of my head that the temptation there will be so overwhelming - I mentioned it to my wife and her reaction was why should we (her and my daughter) miss out on our holiday with friends, also that it is months away and not to worry about it - I know she's right with it being months away and in time I may feel different but as it is right now I don't see it ending well if I go somewhere like that.
Hoping with time and a few month down the road I may feel more at ease but the fact I'm even doing my head in about it this much already is a concern.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest usa
Posts: 13
Strangely enough, I never worried about how drinking affected my marriage, but have worried every day since stopping how sobriety will. The drunk my wife's been living with for 18 years left 44 days ago, and God willing, will never return. I hope she can put up with the sober me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Checking in on day 4! Feeling good about my renewed commitment. I tried to talk to my husband a bit this morning about the issue I have with binge drinking. He is trying to quit smoking and started talking to be about the challenges he faced last night when he went out to watch a football game. Normally he would meet/talk to people when he went out for a smoke. He wasn't able to do that last night. I started to talk to him about the challenges I face when we go out related to drinking. He reiterated that he doesn't understand why I can't stop myself from getting smashed and that at least with smoking his personality doesn't change. He then went on to provide examples of my poor embarrassing behavior. He also told me he's been having nightmares because of my binges. I feel really bad. I want to fix this for good. I have caused pain and embarrassment, lost friends and find that I am isolating myself from people/events. I feel so sad right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by RedAndy
Hi all, checking in for the start of 2016 back at work, after a bit of struggle NYE had a meal out NY day with friends and kids, only my mate drinking, all day, beers and wine with the meal and more beers at home then polishing off pretty much a full bottle of rum.
I wasn't feeling any thoughts of missing out at that point I just thought it was pretty sad that he felt the need to get smashed on his own - realised that would have been me too a couple of months ago though, in a way it kind of helped me, realising how it has a grip especially the more you feed it as my mate who definitely has a problem accepts nothing of the sort, he's not a problem when drunk in the sense that he does remain in control however the amount he is drinking is excessive to say the least and on pretty much a daily basis from what I gather, his wife also in the same boat with amounts but also out of control on a number of occasions and a good few blackouts, she asked me a bit about things and took some interest in what I was telling her regarding where I am at and how I've managed to stop and why / what I have learned so far, said she is doing dry January altho unfortunately I have my doubts that it will last too long as I don't think she truly wants to stop just others telling her that she's causing problems and trying to do what she sees as the right thing / ticking boxes.
When I look around at all of our friends it seems that virtually everyone is a heavy drinker - not only my mates I'd go out with but anyone in our social circle pretty much, the only person that I know that is an exception to the rule is my wife, that really is a massive plus at present and something I am grateful for however as she does not have a problem asking her to miss out on things with friends as I don't feel at all comfortable is an issue that is going to arise more and more, it's the reason I went NYE when I didn't really want to.
Other friends have invited us to an event this weekend, a football match (my team) in their private box, which again means loads of booze around, the wife wants to go but won't go without me - I feel I have to make the extra effort as I am still making up for more than a few mistakes, just don't want to be around the boozy atmosphere with everyone laughing and joking and beer after beer when all I want to do is get right on it myself in that situation - knowing I can't and that I actually won't doesn't really help, I feel utterly miserable around it.
Biggest issue that is playing on my mind already and has been for weeks is our summer holiday, I'd managed to shelve it somewhat during Christmas but now its there again, already booked and paid for and I keep trying to get rid of the thought as it's not until August, however it is 2 weeks All Inclusive, one week at a hotel in Abu Dhabi with friends and then 1 week in Dubai at the same hotel we've been to the past 2 years and the same one where everything truly went pear shaped when I last drank on November 13th. There's more of our friends meeting us there.
I'm getting myself worked up already that I won't be able to cope with it there - all holidays have been about for as long as I can remember is drinking - 2 weeks of being able to drink as much as I want - heaven - 2 weeks of watching others drink - HELL !!
I'm telling myself sure I can do other things but I just cannot get it out of my head that the temptation there will be so overwhelming - I mentioned it to my wife and her reaction was why should we (her and my daughter) miss out on our holiday with friends, also that it is months away and not to worry about it - I know she's right with it being months away and in time I may feel different but as it is right now I don't see it ending well if I go somewhere like that.
Hoping with time and a few month down the road I may feel more at ease but the fact I'm even doing my head in about it this much already is a concern.
I wasn't feeling any thoughts of missing out at that point I just thought it was pretty sad that he felt the need to get smashed on his own - realised that would have been me too a couple of months ago though, in a way it kind of helped me, realising how it has a grip especially the more you feed it as my mate who definitely has a problem accepts nothing of the sort, he's not a problem when drunk in the sense that he does remain in control however the amount he is drinking is excessive to say the least and on pretty much a daily basis from what I gather, his wife also in the same boat with amounts but also out of control on a number of occasions and a good few blackouts, she asked me a bit about things and took some interest in what I was telling her regarding where I am at and how I've managed to stop and why / what I have learned so far, said she is doing dry January altho unfortunately I have my doubts that it will last too long as I don't think she truly wants to stop just others telling her that she's causing problems and trying to do what she sees as the right thing / ticking boxes.
When I look around at all of our friends it seems that virtually everyone is a heavy drinker - not only my mates I'd go out with but anyone in our social circle pretty much, the only person that I know that is an exception to the rule is my wife, that really is a massive plus at present and something I am grateful for however as she does not have a problem asking her to miss out on things with friends as I don't feel at all comfortable is an issue that is going to arise more and more, it's the reason I went NYE when I didn't really want to.
Other friends have invited us to an event this weekend, a football match (my team) in their private box, which again means loads of booze around, the wife wants to go but won't go without me - I feel I have to make the extra effort as I am still making up for more than a few mistakes, just don't want to be around the boozy atmosphere with everyone laughing and joking and beer after beer when all I want to do is get right on it myself in that situation - knowing I can't and that I actually won't doesn't really help, I feel utterly miserable around it.
Biggest issue that is playing on my mind already and has been for weeks is our summer holiday, I'd managed to shelve it somewhat during Christmas but now its there again, already booked and paid for and I keep trying to get rid of the thought as it's not until August, however it is 2 weeks All Inclusive, one week at a hotel in Abu Dhabi with friends and then 1 week in Dubai at the same hotel we've been to the past 2 years and the same one where everything truly went pear shaped when I last drank on November 13th. There's more of our friends meeting us there.
I'm getting myself worked up already that I won't be able to cope with it there - all holidays have been about for as long as I can remember is drinking - 2 weeks of being able to drink as much as I want - heaven - 2 weeks of watching others drink - HELL !!
I'm telling myself sure I can do other things but I just cannot get it out of my head that the temptation there will be so overwhelming - I mentioned it to my wife and her reaction was why should we (her and my daughter) miss out on our holiday with friends, also that it is months away and not to worry about it - I know she's right with it being months away and in time I may feel different but as it is right now I don't see it ending well if I go somewhere like that.
Hoping with time and a few month down the road I may feel more at ease but the fact I'm even doing my head in about it this much already is a concern.
I know it's hard, but just to think about daily things and not way out in the future. They say "one day at a time" for a reason. It causes anxiety that your just don't need. When I think about never drinking again it takes my breathe away and I feel angry and upset. Baby steps!
By this summer you may be in a completely different place with almost a years sobriety, and what seems like "HELL" today might not bother you months down the road!
Smiles
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Andy I've seen lots of people go on vacation sober and make it out ok. I didn't this last summer, only a month in....but I agree with what's being said, each day you grow a little stronger. Don't let the anxiety get to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by rah555
Checking in on day 4! Feeling good about my renewed commitment. I tried to talk to my husband a bit this morning about the issue I have with binge drinking. He is trying to quit smoking and started talking to be about the challenges he faced last night when he went out to watch a football game. Normally he would meet/talk to people when he went out for a smoke. He wasn't able to do that last night. I started to talk to him about the challenges I face when we go out related to drinking. He reiterated that he doesn't understand why I can't stop myself from getting smashed and that at least with smoking his personality doesn't change. He then went on to provide examples of my poor embarrassing behavior. He also told me he's been having nightmares because of my binges. I feel really bad. I want to fix this for good. I have caused pain and embarrassment, lost friends and find that I am isolating myself from people/events. I feel so sad right now.
It's a tough situation
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Hi all!
Two calendar months today.
On the subject of PMS - Oh God, yes. Mine was horrendous when drinking and I used to get very, very low with it. Not sure how much I used it as an excuse.
However, with more sober time as the general depression has lifted the dip that it causes is a lot less and lot more manageable. I also use an app to track it. (The pill I'm on means I never know if it is coming or not. The indication of sore boobs is enough of an idea now though).
Relationships. I echo what I said before. We drank for a reason. I'm not saying my partner caused it, he certainly didn't. I was the one who made the choice to pour copious amounts of vodka down my throat. My experience is that once we had drink as our coping method for anything, we turned to it though. It was the fail safe. It did what it said on the tin. Blocked things out, or numbed them.
With the poison removed, we have to face relationships in the cold light of day, with the lubrication removed.
It does read that many of you have less than supportive partners. In one meeting I was at on Saturday, a lady drank 2 days before her two months. The reason? Her partner said she had done so well throughout Christmas, they should have some champagne to celebrate. Of course, it set her on a spree. The first drink, even though he "thoughtfully" offered to drink most of the bottle was enough to put the wheels straight back in motion.
We understand that one day at a time, we are looking at this for the rest of our lives. There are no off days.
For normal drinkers, they cannot get that.
Day 61.
Two calendar months today.
On the subject of PMS - Oh God, yes. Mine was horrendous when drinking and I used to get very, very low with it. Not sure how much I used it as an excuse.
However, with more sober time as the general depression has lifted the dip that it causes is a lot less and lot more manageable. I also use an app to track it. (The pill I'm on means I never know if it is coming or not. The indication of sore boobs is enough of an idea now though).
Relationships. I echo what I said before. We drank for a reason. I'm not saying my partner caused it, he certainly didn't. I was the one who made the choice to pour copious amounts of vodka down my throat. My experience is that once we had drink as our coping method for anything, we turned to it though. It was the fail safe. It did what it said on the tin. Blocked things out, or numbed them.
With the poison removed, we have to face relationships in the cold light of day, with the lubrication removed.
It does read that many of you have less than supportive partners. In one meeting I was at on Saturday, a lady drank 2 days before her two months. The reason? Her partner said she had done so well throughout Christmas, they should have some champagne to celebrate. Of course, it set her on a spree. The first drink, even though he "thoughtfully" offered to drink most of the bottle was enough to put the wheels straight back in motion.
We understand that one day at a time, we are looking at this for the rest of our lives. There are no off days.
For normal drinkers, they cannot get that.
Day 61.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Made it through work... and got a folder and dividers to make my toolkit!
I feel sorry for the holiday worries. .I'm not even thinking about that yet. We only go away in a caravan, nothing glamorous, but we drink beer in a field. Not even thinking that far ahead... one day at a time!
My husband has been ill for a week now, just got antibiotics and maybe he will stop coughing so I can get some sleep. .... he is not drinking for January, so I have support for the month... who knows after... he is a little better than me, but likes to drink, and 80 % of the time can stop OK, 10% drinks too much and 10% no off button. He has said he doesn't want to stop as he just likes it too much... and has said he does want to stop as can't take the hangovers! He isn't very sociable any more, so doesn't have many friends. ... We'll see. ..
He doesn't do lavish disasters in public like I did ..... but he does get very grumpy and insulting at times. .. that only upsets me though, and it's hard to know what he thinks about that really.....
Still... happy this evening for no reason other than happy. That's good!
One day down till next holiday x
I feel sorry for the holiday worries. .I'm not even thinking about that yet. We only go away in a caravan, nothing glamorous, but we drink beer in a field. Not even thinking that far ahead... one day at a time!
My husband has been ill for a week now, just got antibiotics and maybe he will stop coughing so I can get some sleep. .... he is not drinking for January, so I have support for the month... who knows after... he is a little better than me, but likes to drink, and 80 % of the time can stop OK, 10% drinks too much and 10% no off button. He has said he doesn't want to stop as he just likes it too much... and has said he does want to stop as can't take the hangovers! He isn't very sociable any more, so doesn't have many friends. ... We'll see. ..
He doesn't do lavish disasters in public like I did ..... but he does get very grumpy and insulting at times. .. that only upsets me though, and it's hard to know what he thinks about that really.....
Still... happy this evening for no reason other than happy. That's good!
One day down till next holiday x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Had a great run this afternoon and feeling really focused. Got some assignment work from my sponsor so gonna start that soon. Strange, but I feel like I did back when I stayed sober for over a year. I feel that it's just settled and over! I will stay vigilant this round though and no plans on looking back!
Hope everyone is having a great day!
Hope everyone is having a great day!
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