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Class of November 2015 Part 8

Old 01-04-2016, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
Had a great run this afternoon and feeling really focused. Got some assignment work from my sponsor so gonna start that soon. Strange, but I feel like I did back when I stayed sober for over a year. I feel that it's just settled and over! I will stay vigilant this round though and no plans on looking back! Hope everyone is having a great day!
That's an awesome feeling, Ultra! I have it too we can do it this time!!!
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12 View Post

That's an awesome feeling, Ultra! I have it too we can do it this time!!!
Absolutely!!!
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Old 01-04-2016, 02:03 PM
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Snow- nice post and congratulations on 2 months!!

Ultra- your football healed up then? That's great.

Enfin- having hubby sober for January will hopefully keep the pressure off of you a bit. Great job getting your "plan" together.
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Old 01-04-2016, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by tootiesdad View Post
Hi all! Still here!

How many days are you know--57?
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Old 01-04-2016, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Missy7 View Post
Day two! Taking it easy, cleaning a bit. Glad to see everyone here.
I hope you're urge feeling ok Missy!
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Checking in on day 4! Feeling good about my renewed commitment. I tried to talk to my husband a bit this morning about the issue I have with binge drinking. He is trying to quit smoking and started talking to be about the challenges he faced last night when he went out to watch a football game. Normally he would meet/talk to people when he went out for a smoke. He wasn't able to do that last night. I started to talk to him about the challenges I face when we go out related to drinking. He reiterated that he doesn't understand why I can't stop myself from getting smashed and that at least with smoking his personality doesn't change. He then went on to provide examples of my poor embarrassing behavior. He also told me he's been having nightmares because of my binges. I feel really bad. I want to fix this for good. I have caused pain and embarrassment, lost friends and find that I am isolating myself from people/events. I feel so sad right now.
Hang in there Rah. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal according to my sponsor who has 39 years of sobriety and has sponsored dozens of people over the years.

People who aren't alcoholics just don't understand why we cant stop and probably never will. Heck...I don't understand how or WHY they can or want to STOP DRINKING! I thought the whole point of drinking was to get DRUNK? I see people sipping on a glass of wine with dinner or a drinking a beer with their burger and a few thoughts go through my mind:
1. WHY would you EAT before, during or after you drink??? Isn't that a BUZZ KILL?
2. Why would you want just 1 or 2 drinks? What is the point??? Isn't that like going into a chinese buffet and only eating an egg roll and leaving? I will never understand!
3. Why do people leave their drinks sitting on the table unfinished? Drink the darn thing! Isn't that alcohol abuse?
4. How and why do people have full wine bottles hanging on the wall or on a wine rack for decoration? You go back to their house a month later and they still aren't open!
5. Why do people STOP drinking when they start to feel a little buzz? They say "OH MY! I am feeling a little tipsy....I better drink some water now." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the POINT! lol

I could go on and on and on! I just don't understand and I try to realize that my husband will never understand the way I drank either. He will never understand why I can't stop. Heck....I don't even understand!!!

Anyway...I just wanted to say that I totally relate to your post. I have been feeling sorry for myself for the past few hours. I keep thinking things like "my life is going to be so freaking boring now that I am not drinking. Boo hoo," and "Am I ever gonna have fun?" and "How am I gonna do this for the rest of my life?" and "I hate my husband because he can drink 1-2 drinks and not think about it again." AND ON AND ON AND ON.....

Basically I have been having a pity party for the past few hours. I need to get my butt to a meeting tomorrow! I am meeting my sponsor at 1;00 tomorrow at an AA mtg and then I have counseling right after.

I also need to exercise! I have been slacking for the past week and I feel it! I feel better and happier when I exercise! I am much HAPPIER when I exercise.

Anyway......I hope you are feeling better!
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:18 PM
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Oh and I just remembered something I heard a guy in a meeting say last week.

He said...."If I could drink normally I would drink A LOT all day, everyday for the rest of my life!"

LOL!
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Oh and I just remembered something I heard a guy in a meeting say last week.

He said...."If I could drink normally I would drink A LOT all day, everyday for the rest of my life!"

LOL!
Me too, guy, me too. Lol
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Oh and I just remembered something I heard a guy in a meeting say last week. He said...."If I could drink normally I would drink A LOT all day, everyday for the rest of my life!" LOL!
Actually it goes like this:

"If I wasn't an alcoholic I would drink A LOT of alcohol all day everyday for the rest of my life!"

Lol

*sometimes I just need to laugh...it's better than crying. :-/
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Old 01-04-2016, 09:55 PM
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Kiki, your post about not understanding normal drinkers made me lol. I don't understand those things either! Especially having unopened bottles of booze for weeks at a time! I would have definitely torn through all bottles on a blackout within days.

Sorry I've been rather quiet the last few days. Still here and well but just don't have words! Going to sleep now. I hope you all are well!
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Old 01-04-2016, 10:52 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
1. WHY would you EAT before, during or after you drink??? Isn't that a BUZZ KILL?
2. Why would you want just 1 or 2 drinks? What is the point??? Isn't that like going into a chinese buffet and only eating an egg roll and leaving? I will never understand!
3. Why do people leave their drinks sitting on the table unfinished? Drink the darn thing! Isn't that alcohol abuse?
4. How and why do people have full wine bottles hanging on the wall or on a wine rack for decoration? You go back to their house a month later and they still aren't open!
5. Why do people STOP drinking when they start to feel a little buzz? They say "OH MY! I am feeling a little tipsy....I better drink some water now." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the POINT! lol

I could go on and on and on! _

I larfed......so totally true for me.
I just don't get how they do that.......
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Old 01-05-2016, 01:23 AM
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Morning all,

Happy New Year to you all, I hope 2016 brings sobriety (or continued sobriety) to all my classmates.

I've been reading your updates but not posting, mainly due to shame.

I had my first sober festive season for about thirty six years and despite attending a few boozy affairs, I have been and still am, steadfastly ignoring the temptation to drink.

However, it is now apparent that I'm not just an alcoholic but a full blown addict. This shouldn't be a surprise to me but sobriety has certainly highlighted my addictive personality and my desire to thrill seek or get high.

My caffeine and sugar intake have both gone through the roof. I've been actively seeking out, purchasing and smoking cannabis for the first time in a long while and worst of all I've been engaging in unhealthy sexual activity. They all seam to feed off each other.

What a complete **** - up I am. I need to sort this all out.
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Old 01-05-2016, 02:49 AM
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I think a recovery plan will work for all those things Tufty.

I'd get rid of the weed right away for the simple reason it can make some very bad ideas seem good.

D
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Old 01-05-2016, 02:54 AM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post
Morning all,

Happy New Year to you all, I hope 2016 brings sobriety (or continued sobriety) to all my classmates.

I've been reading your updates but not posting, mainly due to shame.

I had my first sober festive season for about thirty six years and despite attending a few boozy affairs, I have been and still am, steadfastly ignoring the temptation to drink.

However, it is now apparent that I'm not just an alcoholic but a full blown addict. This shouldn't be a surprise to me but sobriety has certainly highlighted my addictive personality and my desire to thrill seek or get high.

My caffeine and sugar intake have both gone through the roof. I've been actively seeking out, purchasing and smoking cannabis for the first time in a long while and worst of all I've been engaging in unhealthy sexual activity. They all seam to feed off each other.

What a complete **** - up I am. I need to sort this all out.
Tufty,

I feel you and I'm glad you posted! This disease is the disease of addiction and alcohol is just a symptom, I can attest to that as well! I never do anything halfway! Be it alcohol, drugs, sex or food! It's good that you can see the patterns and hopefully you can get a working plan. Working through the pain, shame, fear and getting to the root is Paramount, but I also believe in replacing 'bad' addictions and obsessions with 'good' ones...I focus in exercise, reading and getting outside and it really does help! Isolation is an enemy!

We're here for you!
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Old 01-05-2016, 04:59 AM
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Morning all! Checking in, day 5. Feeling pretty good. I know I can do this if I can learn how to handle situations in which I am tempted and if I can break the habits my husband and I have fallen into. Just this morning my husband was looking at groupons on line...he came across one for a party at a local martini bar. Ugh!!
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Old 01-05-2016, 05:26 AM
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Quick check in on day 7.

One day at a time.
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Old 01-05-2016, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Morning all! Checking in, day 5. Feeling pretty good. I know I can do this if I can learn how to handle situations in which I am tempted and if I can break the habits my husband and I have fallen into. Just this morning my husband was looking at groupons on line...he came across one for a party at a local martini bar. Ugh!!
Have you tried sitting down with your husband and really talking to him? Letting him know this is life or death for you?

If you were allergic to nuts, would he want you to go to a restaurant that serves only nuts?

I think if you sit down with him and really tell him what is going on he will back off with the alcohol related plans, yeah?
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:01 AM
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Hi MeShelley! Congrats on 1 week!

Tufty-I agree with others...I think a recovery plan would really help you get to the underlying causes of your need to self-medicate. I wouldn't recommend anything that I wasn't doing myself. :-) And you are NOT screwed up! You seem like a really good person with a few things to work through and once you get through them you will be so strong! Someday you will be able to help others with your experience. Hang in there & keep putting one foot in front of the other! :-)

WELL....I need to hop off....I am meeting my sponsor at my Tuesday AA meeting & then have my 1 hour therapy session and exercise. Busy day but I always feel better after AA meetings & therapy. (And exercise) ;-)

Have a great SOBER day everyone & I am praying for every single one of you! I will check in later. Stay strong!!!
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:34 AM
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Not doing good at all. Lots of stuff has gone down in the last few days. I'm so disappointed in myself, I'm so sad.
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
Tufty,

I feel you and I'm glad you posted! This disease is the disease of addiction and alcohol is just a symptom, I can attest to that as well! I never do anything halfway! Be it alcohol, drugs, sex or food! It's good that you can see the patterns and hopefully you can get a working plan. Working through the pain, shame, fear and getting to the root is Paramount, but I also believe in replacing 'bad' addictions and obsessions with 'good' ones...I focus in exercise, reading and getting outside and it really does help! Isolation is an enemy!

We're here for you!
^^ This, same goes for me - once started there's absolutely no stopping with anything, agree though with channelling the obsessions in the right direction, exercise and healthy eating plan are a great place to start and definitely help keep me focused.

Good to hear from you Tufty, was thinking earlier not heard from you for a while, deffo give the weed a wide berth tho fella, replacing the buzz with another substance is only gonna leave the door ajar for the others to creep back in.

Kicking sugar into touch is a big thing too - another evil in my eyes, not as bad as others we've done to excess but one that is something you feel much better without - its not easy to do but the times I have got rid of it in the past from my diet are the times I've definitely felt the best, often wonder why I let it creep back in but in general the reason for that previously has been the booze and binging, with that gone its much easier - get bang into the exercise and not smoking weed will be a no brainer.
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