Class of November 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by Noolan 
Day 6.
Well still feeling positive overall. I think my AV is trying to parlay this holiday weekend into a feeling of being left out. It hit me last night as I drove past a bar; however, this is an old trick that I've overcome many times before. Therapy and the breaks I've had prior have allowed me to deal with the personal issues that led me to use. The challenge for me is acceptance and not slowing in building a sober life. I've tried to forge a balance between my old relationships and new ones. I think for awhile during my 9 months off I found a happy balance, but I still never fully embraced sober life
I still associate vacations, letting loose, and some hobbies to that of alcohol. When I compare and contrast sober me vs intoxicated me, it's clear sober me enjoys said activities much more than intoxicated me. I'm an addict, there's no shame in that even if society says otherwise. I just need to stop thinking as my new life as less than old. All facts of sober me prove otherwise and so I'm going to not let up.
Much love,
Nolan
Well still feeling positive overall. I think my AV is trying to parlay this holiday weekend into a feeling of being left out. It hit me last night as I drove past a bar; however, this is an old trick that I've overcome many times before. Therapy and the breaks I've had prior have allowed me to deal with the personal issues that led me to use. The challenge for me is acceptance and not slowing in building a sober life. I've tried to forge a balance between my old relationships and new ones. I think for awhile during my 9 months off I found a happy balance, but I still never fully embraced sober life
I still associate vacations, letting loose, and some hobbies to that of alcohol. When I compare and contrast sober me vs intoxicated me, it's clear sober me enjoys said activities much more than intoxicated me. I'm an addict, there's no shame in that even if society says otherwise. I just need to stop thinking as my new life as less than old. All facts of sober me prove otherwise and so I'm going to not let up.
Much love,
Nolan
Welcome to so many new members! I hope you're urge doing well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by Thumbelina
Hi all. Sorry I haven’t been around and posting much. Most of the time I just don’t want to be bothering you with my issues. Although it’s been a huge help to have somewhere to check in and have that sense of belonging in a way.
I have been sober for 26 days now. Its providing to be such an emotional roller coaster, I am really struggling to cope. The realisation that I had frozen my life for so long in this stinking alcohol camouflage has hit me harder than I expected. I look at myself and all I see is that nothing has really changed over the years, the life has gone on but I have remained the same (a few wrinkles aside that is!). I knew I had to change for a very long time, but it was just so easy to pour a glass and drink over it. Ironically, I’m not even craving the drink anymore; I’m just hoping that these emotions will subside and that I will not end up in a mental institution! It really is so overwhelming. I can now clearly see just how much damage has been done and how much I had concealed by my drinking.
I have been sober for 26 days now. Its providing to be such an emotional roller coaster, I am really struggling to cope. The realisation that I had frozen my life for so long in this stinking alcohol camouflage has hit me harder than I expected. I look at myself and all I see is that nothing has really changed over the years, the life has gone on but I have remained the same (a few wrinkles aside that is!). I knew I had to change for a very long time, but it was just so easy to pour a glass and drink over it. Ironically, I’m not even craving the drink anymore; I’m just hoping that these emotions will subside and that I will not end up in a mental institution! It really is so overwhelming. I can now clearly see just how much damage has been done and how much I had concealed by my drinking.
I am so sorry you're going through this! I wonder if it's a AV trick to get you to give up? You may have wasted some time, but you can slowly make positive changes in your life. Maybe you can start by writing down your goals and looking for small steps you can take to reach them!
Hang in there girl!
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
KiKi
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Haha Odelle! I love being a positive cheerleader! I have been a depressed, crying mess for 2 years and I can honestly say that these past 10 days sober have been THE best 10 days I have had in 2 years....even with my ups & downs, cravings, etc. I drank to numb things but sadly I numbed all the good things too. I am enjoying "feeling" again. It feels good. Even the pain of early sobriety feels good in a strange way.
P.S. I was a cheerleader in high school for ONE year and was awful! I fell off the top of the pyramid during the homecoming game and landed on my face in mud! Haha! I quit! I was actually so bad that the cheer coach hid me in the back row behind the biggest girl on the squad. Lol! I traded in my cheer uniform for my softball uniform. Ha. Soooooo.....this is my 2nd attempt at cheerleading! Hehehehehehehe
P.S. I was a cheerleader in high school for ONE year and was awful! I fell off the top of the pyramid during the homecoming game and landed on my face in mud! Haha! I quit! I was actually so bad that the cheer coach hid me in the back row behind the biggest girl on the squad. Lol! I traded in my cheer uniform for my softball uniform. Ha. Soooooo.....this is my 2nd attempt at cheerleading! Hehehehehehehe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGflUbPQfW8
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Hi friends-
Checking in on day 17! I'm sorry to hear that things are heating up for many of us. I think the holiday may have a bit to do with it.
StrangeAngel-glad you're still staying with us. Yeah ur time will come.
Patricia-I see you walking by the liquor store as a win!!!!
Healthy- glad your hand is doing ok.
To everybody else.....Happy Holidays! Be safe and sober.
I'll check in on everybody in the morning before I start cooking!
And as always...Kiki- you're the best cheerleader out there. I'm glad you're finding such happiness in your sobriety despite the issues that come with kicking this diseases butt!!!
Checking in on day 17! I'm sorry to hear that things are heating up for many of us. I think the holiday may have a bit to do with it.
StrangeAngel-glad you're still staying with us. Yeah ur time will come.
Patricia-I see you walking by the liquor store as a win!!!!
Healthy- glad your hand is doing ok.
To everybody else.....Happy Holidays! Be safe and sober.
I'll check in on everybody in the morning before I start cooking!
And as always...Kiki- you're the best cheerleader out there. I'm glad you're finding such happiness in your sobriety despite the issues that come with kicking this diseases butt!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Taking a break from cleaning, the sad reality of how much has been ignored is hitting me right between the eyes today. I will be cooking the traditional turkey dinner tomorrow, but scaled down. My family all live approximately 50 miles from me, an hour-and-half drive normally, but 3-4 hours on holidays, so just me, husband, son and daughter, and maybe husband’s cousin. No alcohol in the house and I won’t be buying any.
It’s a nice brisk day here. I have the windows open, music playing, and candles burning. It’s so hard to believe I chose to drink myself to oblivion with the shutters closed, nonsense TV in the background, accomplishing absolutely nothing for so long!
Hang in there Patricia68, it’s going to be a rollercoaster ride for a while but it will eventually level out.
You will get there Strangeangle, you already have one day in the bag. For me, the first 5 days are the hardest; it seems to get a little easier after that. When it gets really hard, remind yourself that there are only X number of hours before bedtime, it seems shorten the duration of a 24-hour period for me.
Stay strong everyone, we can do this!
It’s a nice brisk day here. I have the windows open, music playing, and candles burning. It’s so hard to believe I chose to drink myself to oblivion with the shutters closed, nonsense TV in the background, accomplishing absolutely nothing for so long!
Hang in there Patricia68, it’s going to be a rollercoaster ride for a while but it will eventually level out.
You will get there Strangeangle, you already have one day in the bag. For me, the first 5 days are the hardest; it seems to get a little easier after that. When it gets really hard, remind yourself that there are only X number of hours before bedtime, it seems shorten the duration of a 24-hour period for me.
Stay strong everyone, we can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy
Hey everyone. Just woke up after some much needed sleep. My dreaded Tuesday is officially over! I'll be spending thanksgiving eve back at the hospital. Hoping for some free turkey dinner in the cafeteria... I think they did that last year for employees.
The big T day tomorrow. Dinner at the inlaws where there's a pony keg of ice cold beer on tap. I'm going to bring my own bev. My hubby will most likely be drinking so I'll need to stay sober to drive us home. Sometimes he likes to continue on at home, so I'll have to be firm about saying no to that.
What are your sobriety plans for tomorrow Americans?
The big T day tomorrow. Dinner at the inlaws where there's a pony keg of ice cold beer on tap. I'm going to bring my own bev. My hubby will most likely be drinking so I'll need to stay sober to drive us home. Sometimes he likes to continue on at home, so I'll have to be firm about saying no to that.
What are your sobriety plans for tomorrow Americans?
I'm also going to make sure I have little fun things to do here an there - walk the dogs, read the paper, make some food, watch a show, play a video game, clean something, hide a gerbil, smell the roses, list something on EBay, take a photo, make a milkshake, DRIVE somewhere (since you can't when you're drinking - what a novel idea!) Ride a bike, pull out an old LP, wash my hair, ask my GF what I can do to make her happy. Or even do nothing and take a nap - without the wine for a change.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
I couldn't make it.
I thought I was strong enough but then my husband said "I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate myself." and proceeded to blame me for everything that's making him miserable. He just can't find joy in the simple things. The grass is always greener somewhere else...I am not good enough to make him happy...you know where this goes...
I've lost a battle but I didn't lose the war.
I thought I was strong enough but then my husband said "I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate myself." and proceeded to blame me for everything that's making him miserable. He just can't find joy in the simple things. The grass is always greener somewhere else...I am not good enough to make him happy...you know where this goes...
I've lost a battle but I didn't lose the war.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
Originally Posted by Thumbelina
Hi all. Sorry I haven’t been around and posting much. Most of the time I just don’t want to be bothering you with my issues. Although it’s been a huge help to have somewhere to check in and have that sense of belonging in a way.
I have been sober for 26 days now. Its providing to be such an emotional roller coaster, I am really struggling to cope. The realisation that I had frozen my life for so long in this stinking alcohol camouflage has hit me harder than I expected. I look at myself and all I see is that nothing has really changed over the years, the life has gone on but I have remained the same (a few wrinkles aside that is!). I knew I had to change for a very long time, but it was just so easy to pour a glass and drink over it. Ironically, I’m not even craving the drink anymore; I’m just hoping that these emotions will subside and that I will not end up in a mental institution! It really is so overwhelming. I can now clearly see just how much damage has been done and how much I had concealed by my drinking.
I have been sober for 26 days now. Its providing to be such an emotional roller coaster, I am really struggling to cope. The realisation that I had frozen my life for so long in this stinking alcohol camouflage has hit me harder than I expected. I look at myself and all I see is that nothing has really changed over the years, the life has gone on but I have remained the same (a few wrinkles aside that is!). I knew I had to change for a very long time, but it was just so easy to pour a glass and drink over it. Ironically, I’m not even craving the drink anymore; I’m just hoping that these emotions will subside and that I will not end up in a mental institution! It really is so overwhelming. I can now clearly see just how much damage has been done and how much I had concealed by my drinking.
I had 9 months under my belt and numerous days, weeks, and months in between thanks to relapses. A lot of those were driven from coming to terms with myself and my past. To quote the wire "Gettin' clean's the easy part. And then comes life".
The point my trying to make is that it's not a light switch we flip and are cured. Christ I'm back on day 6; however, it's worth it. 26 days is amazing, so take the good with the bad. It will be worth it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm sorry your husband is being negative and confrontational Patricia - it's really in your best interests to find a healthier less destructive way to deal with that, though?
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think the main problem you have right now is the only tool you have to cope when your husband is negative is alcohol.
You can't change others, but we can change ourselves and that's where I'd start.
Negative self talk is destructive whether it comes from someone else or ourselves.
You need to stop the shame spiral that sends you into and counter the negative self-talk you feel with positive self talk.
What is self-talk? | ReachOut.com Australia
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic
if you work on this, being more assertive and self confident should soon look a lot easier to you
D
You can't change others, but we can change ourselves and that's where I'd start.
Negative self talk is destructive whether it comes from someone else or ourselves.
You need to stop the shame spiral that sends you into and counter the negative self-talk you feel with positive self talk.
What is self-talk? | ReachOut.com Australia
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic
if you work on this, being more assertive and self confident should soon look a lot easier to you
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Dear the 2 pubs that tried to talk me into coming in to drink today,
F you! I will NOT be a victim of your lies anymore! Stop talking to me AV! I'm am NOT listening anymore!
All I was doing this afternoon was taking my kids to a movie. Just because I parked by you does NOT mean I want to come in and drink your poison!
Tonight I was just going to the grocery and there you were, calling my name again! SHUT UP! I HATE you!
From your worst enemy,
KiKi
F you! I will NOT be a victim of your lies anymore! Stop talking to me AV! I'm am NOT listening anymore!
All I was doing this afternoon was taking my kids to a movie. Just because I parked by you does NOT mean I want to come in and drink your poison!
Tonight I was just going to the grocery and there you were, calling my name again! SHUT UP! I HATE you!
From your worst enemy,
KiKi
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 154
Seems like several people are having a rough day. Me too. AV started at a whisper around 3pm and has been chirping louder and louder ever since. I am not going to drink but it's irritating. Wednesday's have always been a true hump day for me, so I guess that makes it a trigger. Now I know...I will be ready for it next week.
I have been thinking off and on about how much I have denied, even trying to fool myself, that wine was not at the root of a lot of the issues I have been struggling with for a couple of years. Sleep issues, depression issues, anxiety issues, weight issues, time management issues, organizational issues, health issues, emotional issues, social issues and probably any other issue you can think of.
I am supposed to be a part time student. I have 3 courses left until I graduate. I have been farting around with these courses and enrolling and withdrawing for 2-3 years. I started to struggle when (surprise!) I started to drink wine nightly. I blamed it on everything else under the sun....the course syllabus, the text book, the e-text, the tutor, the exams, the assignments, my work, my life, my brain, my age blah blah blah. In order of importance right below staying sober is finishing these dang courses. I got rolling and worked my way half way thru one course...completed 2 of 3 assignments and did well...took the midterm exam at the end of Oct and failed. Failed!! I have never in my life failed an exam. The lowest grade I have received in all my other courses for this degree is a B-. I am able to do a re-write thank goodness, but it was so discouraging. So I have managed to waste a month boobing about failing the exam, blaming everything else but the booze, and I need to get back to work. Maybe without a brain and body full of wine I can actually pull this off.
Hope everyone has a great night! Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating tomorrow! It sounds like so many of you have thought out how you are going to deal with tomorrow which is awesome! To those that are struggling...you can do this!
I have been thinking off and on about how much I have denied, even trying to fool myself, that wine was not at the root of a lot of the issues I have been struggling with for a couple of years. Sleep issues, depression issues, anxiety issues, weight issues, time management issues, organizational issues, health issues, emotional issues, social issues and probably any other issue you can think of.
I am supposed to be a part time student. I have 3 courses left until I graduate. I have been farting around with these courses and enrolling and withdrawing for 2-3 years. I started to struggle when (surprise!) I started to drink wine nightly. I blamed it on everything else under the sun....the course syllabus, the text book, the e-text, the tutor, the exams, the assignments, my work, my life, my brain, my age blah blah blah. In order of importance right below staying sober is finishing these dang courses. I got rolling and worked my way half way thru one course...completed 2 of 3 assignments and did well...took the midterm exam at the end of Oct and failed. Failed!! I have never in my life failed an exam. The lowest grade I have received in all my other courses for this degree is a B-. I am able to do a re-write thank goodness, but it was so discouraging. So I have managed to waste a month boobing about failing the exam, blaming everything else but the booze, and I need to get back to work. Maybe without a brain and body full of wine I can actually pull this off.
Hope everyone has a great night! Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating tomorrow! It sounds like so many of you have thought out how you are going to deal with tomorrow which is awesome! To those that are struggling...you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
You are right Patricia68, you may have lost the battle but not the war. I’m sorry you are going through this, domestic confrontations used to always send me to the bottle. I guess I’ll deal with that one in due time. Drink lots of water and try to turn in early tonight, tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities for you. Take care of yourself!
Pams, back in 2014 I managed 8 months of sobriety and all of the issues you listed I was experiencing too and they all disappeared, even that extra 15 pounds I blamed on menopause. Guess what, they all returned when I allowed wine back into my life. At least I know without a shadow of doubt where the problem lies and the solution.
I haven’t the words to describe how happy I am to be back on this site, with all of you wonderful people, on this journey of recovery. Take care all, and have a Happy Thanksgiving Day tomorrow my American brothers and sisters.
P.S., you wouldn’t believe how much I got done around the house today, I can’t believe it myself!
Pams, back in 2014 I managed 8 months of sobriety and all of the issues you listed I was experiencing too and they all disappeared, even that extra 15 pounds I blamed on menopause. Guess what, they all returned when I allowed wine back into my life. At least I know without a shadow of doubt where the problem lies and the solution.
I haven’t the words to describe how happy I am to be back on this site, with all of you wonderful people, on this journey of recovery. Take care all, and have a Happy Thanksgiving Day tomorrow my American brothers and sisters.
P.S., you wouldn’t believe how much I got done around the house today, I can’t believe it myself!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Today was a day from hell. Why, you might ask? Well because I drank last night. I drove drunk, blacked out, threw up all over my floor, lied to my boss, didn't go to work, stayed in bed all day, barely chocked some soup down (it's 5pm here), feel upset, scared, sad, guilty, and ashamed. I'm crying as I type this. It hurts so much. Alcohol hurts me so much.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Evening #3 tonight. Gorged on Chinese takeout and feel full, sober, satisfied. My wife bought a bunch of beer and wine for thanksgiving. Good that she listened to me when I told her I was done with booze and on the wagon 3 days ago. I've quit so many times she's just grown numb to it I guess. Up to me to change and prove that I can do this and will do it.
How do the rest of you deal with others who have seen you fail sobriety time and time again? Is it like crying wolf and eventually you are just ignored?
How do the rest of you deal with others who have seen you fail sobriety time and time again? Is it like crying wolf and eventually you are just ignored?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
I know I shouldn't believe what others think about me...I live with a husband that points fingers at me for everything that goes wrong in our lives....I am not responsible for his unhappiness...but he keeps blaming me for all my faults...like cooking...I'm not a good cook, I don't try hard enough...I'm spoiled and lazy...it's just food for crying out loud!
I am in a toxic relationship and all I can think about is I'm not good enough...because that's what I've been listening for the past 15 years...He's not happy because of me, he resents me so much...I am happy with the simple little things in life like my son drawing a silly picture or a coffee at Starbucks....I don;t even know what he wants... I asked him and he said he doesn't know...
I lived for the past 15 years with a person that started "teasing" me...now it's a full blown attack at the way I am! Do I have to feel ashamed because I can't make gravy to his standards? He asked me to move in with him and leave my life behind...and now he's complaining about my idiosyncrasies?
I'm sorry I just need a good cry and I'll come back later...
I am in a toxic relationship and all I can think about is I'm not good enough...because that's what I've been listening for the past 15 years...He's not happy because of me, he resents me so much...I am happy with the simple little things in life like my son drawing a silly picture or a coffee at Starbucks....I don;t even know what he wants... I asked him and he said he doesn't know...
I lived for the past 15 years with a person that started "teasing" me...now it's a full blown attack at the way I am! Do I have to feel ashamed because I can't make gravy to his standards? He asked me to move in with him and leave my life behind...and now he's complaining about my idiosyncrasies?
I'm sorry I just need a good cry and I'll come back later...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by patricia68
I couldn't make it.
I thought I was strong enough but then my husband said "I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate myself." and proceeded to blame me for everything that's making him miserable. He just can't find joy in the simple things. The grass is always greener somewhere else...I am not good enough to make him happy...you know where this goes...
I've lost a battle but I didn't lose the war.
I thought I was strong enough but then my husband said "I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate myself." and proceeded to blame me for everything that's making him miserable. He just can't find joy in the simple things. The grass is always greener somewhere else...I am not good enough to make him happy...you know where this goes...
I've lost a battle but I didn't lose the war.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
im so sorry Patricia. I'm sure that hurt. It sounds like he's just miserable and not taking responsibility for his own crap. Does he drink?
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