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Class of November 2015 Part 3

Old 11-23-2015, 03:25 PM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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The end of Day 2 for me.

Been very down and anxious for the most part. Pushed myself to get to the gym, even though it was for only half an hour I was pleased I did it.

Ultimately a successful day because I didn't pick up.

I have also enjoyed reading a lot of the threads on here and it's great being part of this November group.

Acceptance that I can no longer drink is key to my progress. I am trying to cultivate this mindset and live mindfully .
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:37 PM
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I'm back here after a full year off the wagon...Day 1 again. What a crazy year it has been. I quit for 28 days in October, no SR, felt good and healthy and then picked up again. I think I've only had 3 non drinking days in the past 3-4 weeks.
I've pushed the limit with my career and my relationships, feel like quitting and cleaning up my act is the only viable path to redemption. I've embarrassed myself and had some close calls. Feeling like one more big slip and I could lose it all. Hopefully I'm welcome here. It's been nearly 3yrs since joining SR but have never gone more than 80 days without. I need help, need support, need to beat this demon once and for all.
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:40 PM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Day two half-way over. I did my Thanksgiving shopping earlier today and steered as far away from the alcohol displays as possible. I have gone into auto pilot far too many times to even count. I have to make this stick this time; the old saying that cats have nine lives would equate to me having used up eight already.
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:45 PM
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I know how you feel SoberMarathon, it sounds like we have a similar track record. I did manage nearly 8 months in 2014 (Dec 26 - mid August), and a shorter period in 2013. I'm giving it all I have this time around. My gym membership is up for renewal, I haven't been in over 3 years and it's just down the street from me. I plan on making that my new addiction!
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:48 PM
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Amazing that we keep ending up here...but still good to know there's a place those of us with this problem can connect...
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:50 PM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
I'm back here after a full year off the wagon...Day 1 again. What a crazy year it has been. I quit for 28 days in October, no SR, felt good and healthy and then picked up again. I think I've only had 3 non drinking days in the past 3-4 weeks.
I've pushed the limit with my career and my relationships, feel like quitting and cleaning up my act is the only viable path to redemption. I've embarrassed myself and had some close calls. Feeling like one more big slip and I could lose it all. Hopefully I'm welcome here. It's been nearly 3yrs since joining SR but have never gone more than 80 days without. I need help, need support, need to beat this demon once and for all.
Hi SoberMarathon and welcome!

Just wanted to say that I remember you were also in class of november 2014 - and I can just second what you said: It's been a crazy year for me too. But we're back here to fight it!

I don't want to be in november 2016 and regretting another year that's chaotic (at best).

Great to have you back!
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:05 PM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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Welcome back SM

D
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:06 PM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Day two half-way over. I did my Thanksgiving shopping earlier today and steered as far away from the alcohol displays as possible. I have gone into auto pilot far too many times to even count. I have to make this stick this time; the old saying that cats have nine lives would equate to me having used up eight already.
I'm exactly with you . . . one life left.
Thank you so much for posting that!
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:25 PM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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Sick of disappointing people

I am just so sick of this cycle of disappointing everyone, then
recovering, then doing some wonderful things for others, then
rewarding myself with some late night binging, which turns
into a full weekend of it with all the horrible side effects.
It is true that slowly you will eventually lose everything because
the trust will go, then goes the friendships, the business
relationships, the job, the liver, the finances. In my mid-50's
when so many of the life-long drinkers start croaking, and
I don't want to be one of those. The buzz just ain't worth it.

And the apologies to friends and family and a loving SO . . .
it just has to stop now.

Thank you for all being here - I can't seem to find a meeting that
suits me though I do see the value of being with others.
And here we are. I am dedicated to keeping up with this one.
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:36 PM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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Eventually I got to a point where I couldn't convince myself that 'this time will be different'?

do you feel close to that point, Blond?

D
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:37 PM
  # 191 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Eventually I got to a point where I couldn't convince myself that 'this time will be different'?

do you feel close to that point, Blond?

D
Yes I do, thank you for asking. I don't know why I can't see the AV
for what it is, it keeps leading me to the same dark place.
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:40 PM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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any time I felt a drink was in any way a good idea, that's the AV
D
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:47 PM
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Just feels good to be back here and getting support. The first days will be tough for sure...feeling helpless as an addict, 38yrs old throwing it all away. Many of these posts look so familiar. All with similar stories and histories. Weekend binges, drinking in the morning, desperately seeking the next drink. Yesterday morning I was at the airport, pissed off the bars didn't serve till noon. First flight too short for drink service. Connecting flight to tight for a drink in the airport and then finally got a beer on flight #2. Landed at my home airport and went straight for a pint. Taxi home and then cracked one upon arrival...neighbors for dinner, more beers and wine. Came home and killed a bottle of wine...stayed home today to sort out my life...
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:48 PM
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After some discussion with a friend to whom I agreed to stop drinking immediately, I'm back to SR...
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:53 PM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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The holidays will be tough...but I'll be here, I have no other choice. Reading about the struggles and successes of similar people in recovery will be essential. I need to get this together. Can barely fathom it's gone on so long, my hurtful path of alcohol destruction has been exhausting...
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:54 PM
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Wow, lots of activity here, awesome!

Welcome to those just joining us.

Congrats to those that got through another day sober.

Hand surgery was uneventful, hand is still numb, waiting for that to wear off to see if I need the pain meds she prescribed.

Kissing day 8 Goodnight. Looking forward to saying good morning to day 9.

Hugs class!
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Old 11-23-2015, 04:58 PM
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It's a good place to be, SoberMarathon. How I relate to your description of yesterday, the obsession that can't be satisfied! Stick around kid (mid-50s here), this site is what got me through lengths of sobriety I never thought I could accomplish.
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Old 11-23-2015, 05:08 PM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
The holidays will be tough...but I'll be here, I have no other choice. Reading about the struggles and successes of similar people in recovery will be essential. I need to get this together. Can barely fathom it's gone on so long, my hurtful path of alcohol destruction has been exhausting...
I look forward to hearing the positive things you experience SM.
The one I most look forward to is the deep sleep. Tonight will be
tough, though, my system still has a bunch of crap in it from a limo
wine-tasting thing on Saturday . . . don't know if I can even show
up for one of those things again.

The wine started tasting like poison but I kept downing it!

By the end of the day I could barely keep it down but I kept gulping
it! Which meant Sunday was a complete write-off. Uggh.
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Old 11-23-2015, 05:13 PM
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Last month I had 28 days but wasn't committed to quitting, just drying out for a while. I started reading 'blackout'...it's a great read. Need to make it to the end...I've got a shelf full of these books and have only finished one or two. Drinking robs me of my time to read, to think, to exercise, everything...
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Old 11-23-2015, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by blondsober View Post
I look forward to hearing the positive things you experience SM. The one I most look forward to is the deep sleep. Tonight will be tough, though, my system still has a bunch of crap in it from a limo wine-tasting thing on Saturday . . . don't know if I can even show up for one of those things again. The wine started tasting like poison but I kept downing it! By the end of the day I could barely keep it down but I kept gulping it! Which meant Sunday was a complete write-off. Uggh.
wine-tasting would be disastrous for me. I was on a 3-day binge until going to sleep last night. No idea how I'll sleep tonight but am exhausted. On Friday night i passed out in a hotel elevator and a friend found me on the floor outside the elevator...do you think maybe that's a sign I need help?...me thinks so!
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