Class of November 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by blondsober 
I'm just going to tell people I "stopped" rather than "quit." Sounds less ominous. I do find that most people don't really give a s*** whether you are drinking or not, as long as you don't make them stop! And when they've had a few they assume you have too - they can't tell that they have changed and you haven't!
I'm also going to make sure I have little fun things to do here an there - walk the dogs, read the paper, make some food, watch a show, play a video game, clean something, hide a gerbil, smell the roses, list something on EBay, take a photo, make a milkshake, DRIVE somewhere (since you can't when you're drinking - what a novel idea!) Ride a bike, pull out an old LP, wash my hair, ask my GF what I can do to make her happy. Or even do nothing and take a nap - without the wine for a change.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by SwimKim12
Today was a day from hell. Why, you might ask? Well because I drank last night. I drove drunk, blacked out, threw up all over my floor, lied to my boss, didn't go to work, stayed in bed all day, barely chocked some soup down (it's 5pm here), feel upset, scared, sad, guilty, and ashamed. I'm crying as I type this. It hurts so much. Alcohol hurts me so much.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
You can do this. You have it in you!!!
Last edited by Keepnitreal; 11-25-2015 at 05:40 PM. Reason: Mistype
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Sobermarathon, my AV has tried telling me that over and over. That it would just be easier to throw the towel in and embrace drinking and drink as much as I want. It almost seems like a good argument until I think it through: if I drank all the time, I would be hungover all the time. I would miss work and eventually loose my job. Then I wouldn't have any money to buy alcohol, or I'd resort to dangerous and illegal ways of getting it. That is not the life I want, which is why I'm here. I don't ever want this hangover again.
I'm sorry that your wife bought lots of booze and didn't seem to believe you when you said you quit. That must be very frustrating. It is up to you whether or not to drink it. I hope you choose not to. Just think of where it would lead if you did...
Stay strong! We can do this.
I'm sorry that your wife bought lots of booze and didn't seem to believe you when you said you quit. That must be very frustrating. It is up to you whether or not to drink it. I hope you choose not to. Just think of where it would lead if you did...
Stay strong! We can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by SwimKim12
Today was a day from hell. Why, you might ask? Well because I drank last night. I drove drunk, blacked out, threw up all over my floor, lied to my boss, didn't go to work, stayed in bed all day, barely chocked some soup down (it's 5pm here), feel upset, scared, sad, guilty, and ashamed. I'm crying as I type this. It hurts so much. Alcohol hurts me so much.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
I need to learn how to cope. I can't self-medicate anymore. It doesn't help me. It only makes my life worse.
To anyone who is struggling, please give yourself a chance and don't pick up the bottle. Drinking only makes things worse. And then you will hate yourself for it.
Today I am grateful that my hangover will not last forever. That I will be able to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with people who love me. I need to learn to love myself as much as others do.
Thank you all for being here. I don't where I'd be today without SR. Take care and be safe.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by SoberMarathon
Evening #3 tonight. Gorged on Chinese takeout and feel full, sober, satisfied. My wife bought a bunch of beer and wine for thanksgiving. Good that she listened to me when I told her I was done with booze and on the wagon 3 days ago. I've quit so many times she's just grown numb to it I guess. Up to me to change and prove that I can do this and will do it.
How do the rest of you deal with others who have seen you fail sobriety time and time again? Is it like crying wolf and eventually you are just ignored?
How do the rest of you deal with others who have seen you fail sobriety time and time again? Is it like crying wolf and eventually you are just ignored?
The way I see it... Why should they believe us? I wasn't any less serious about stopping all of the other times I told him... and myself... that I was done. The only way we can gain their trust back in our words about sobriety is living it. It's not their fault that they are skeptical.
From past experience, even though he says he doesn't mind my drinking, he definitely takes notice when I've been sober. Best feeling in the world.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Hey everyone, didn't get to post or read on here much today. I will read the 2 pages I missed right after I post this.
Ending my day 11 today- it was okay, found myself in the store staring at the champagne I'd normally get for thanksgiving.. But I walked away.
Got pretty irritable to my husband after standing in the kitchen for 5 hours making creamy mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, homemade cranberry sauce, and prepping for the stuffing by dicing up all the onions, carrots and celery. Plus did a few other things in the kitchen.. Like 4 sets of sink full of dishes. Ugh. Cleaned every bathroom in the house and vacuumed. Cleaned the cat box. Did so much laundry. Cleaned the couch. Organized the shoe/coat closet. Took trash out. I am BEAT! Could not bare to do the dishes and clean the kitchen again tonight so my husband sent me upstairs with a cup of tea to lay down while he handles it. Thank god for him. My body feels like crap right now! Not even thinking about alcohol right now. Totally content with my tea and wouldn't want it any other way.
Now, sorry for my long boring post! Time for me to catch up on the November class
Ending my day 11 today- it was okay, found myself in the store staring at the champagne I'd normally get for thanksgiving.. But I walked away.
Got pretty irritable to my husband after standing in the kitchen for 5 hours making creamy mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, homemade cranberry sauce, and prepping for the stuffing by dicing up all the onions, carrots and celery. Plus did a few other things in the kitchen.. Like 4 sets of sink full of dishes. Ugh. Cleaned every bathroom in the house and vacuumed. Cleaned the cat box. Did so much laundry. Cleaned the couch. Organized the shoe/coat closet. Took trash out. I am BEAT! Could not bare to do the dishes and clean the kitchen again tonight so my husband sent me upstairs with a cup of tea to lay down while he handles it. Thank god for him. My body feels like crap right now! Not even thinking about alcohol right now. Totally content with my tea and wouldn't want it any other way.
Now, sorry for my long boring post! Time for me to catch up on the November class
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by SoberMarathon
In some ways I feel like quitting the quitting cycle and just 'embrace it' as someone once told me...but I know that attitude will eventually lead to disaster, I'll lose it all...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Oh shoot 
I'm so sorry to read that a bunch in the group had such a bad day.
Swimkim- definitely sounds like a day from hell I really hope you pull through this- the hangover will go away and hopefully this last event was the cap on the bottle. We're here for you every step of the way.
Patricia- definitely so much verbal and emotional abuse, I can't even fathom how you must feel right now. Can you get away from him? Stay with family or something? He needs help.. Counseling/therapy/etc. I'm so sorry it looks like Dee has great advice.
I'm so sorry to read that a bunch in the group had such a bad day.
Swimkim- definitely sounds like a day from hell
I really hope you pull through this- the hangover will go away and hopefully this last event was the cap on the bottle. We're here for you every step of the way. Patricia- definitely so much verbal and emotional abuse, I can't even fathom how you must feel right now. Can you get away from him? Stay with family or something? He needs help.. Counseling/therapy/etc. I'm so sorry
it looks like Dee has great advice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Hi guys, finally had a chance to look through everyone's posts from today. Other than posting quickly to tell my AV to shut up, I didn't have a chance to read or check in. My kids are off school & we were gone all day shopping & at the movies.
You guys were busy on here today! It sounds like a few of our classmates are struggling. Patricia & SwimKim, don't beat yourself up. That's what your AV wants. It wants you to feel so bad about yourself that you drink again tomorrow too! All any of us have is "today".
The awesome thing that you both did was you came here to SR, were honest about your slip & reached out for help. That's huge!!! Do you know how many millions of people are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and NEVER even TRY to get sober? The fact that you are here trying to change your life is HUGE! You WILL accomplish your goal....you WILL! We love you unconditionally here!
I just wanted to check in real quick but I am gonna go back and read the posts again and write more.
By the way, I have been praying for all of you every single day and will continue. Xo
You guys were busy on here today! It sounds like a few of our classmates are struggling. Patricia & SwimKim, don't beat yourself up. That's what your AV wants. It wants you to feel so bad about yourself that you drink again tomorrow too! All any of us have is "today".
The awesome thing that you both did was you came here to SR, were honest about your slip & reached out for help. That's huge!!! Do you know how many millions of people are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and NEVER even TRY to get sober? The fact that you are here trying to change your life is HUGE! You WILL accomplish your goal....you WILL! We love you unconditionally here!
I just wanted to check in real quick but I am gonna go back and read the posts again and write more.
By the way, I have been praying for all of you every single day and will continue. Xo
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
I see I'm not alone today. Just wrapping up day 5 here and on to day 6 tomorrow. We went out to dinner and a movie. The theater serves alcohol. I had to talk myself into a Coke. Then came home and had to resist the wine we still have here (H is drinking it). But I didn't drink, so yay for that? A bit exhausting resisting though.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by DariaM
I see I'm not alone today. Just wrapping up day 5 here and on to day 6 tomorrow. We went out to dinner and a movie. The theater serves alcohol. I had to talk myself into a Coke. Then came home and had to resist the wine we still have here (H is drinking it). But I didn't drink, so yay for that? A bit exhausting resisting though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy
I'm tired of the quitting cycle too SoberMarathon... but that doesn't mean we have to succumb to the dark side. Embrace sobriety instead?
Last month I had 27-28 days. Once I got through the initial haze this was a fantastic month, got a ton accomplished. I was running 4-5 mornings per week at the crack of dawn, dealt really well with difficult people at work, had good success at work, etc. And then I decided I was 'healed' and revved it up again. To be fair I was only intending to take a month off anyways. But here I am back on SR, trying to find peace after a messy couple weeks. Being recovered from a hotel floor, in front of the elevators, lucky I wasn't mugged or arrested or worse. How did I get there? I drank solid from noon till 10-11pm, went into blackout mode around 8-9pm...so how I ended up on that floor, 30 steps from my hotel room I'll never know. I just know I can never drink again or I'll end up back in the same pathetic place or worse.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by DariaM
I see I'm not alone today. Just wrapping up day 5 here and on to day 6 tomorrow. We went out to dinner and a movie. The theater serves alcohol. I had to talk myself into a Coke. Then came home and had to resist the wine we still have here (H is drinking it). But I didn't drink, so yay for that? A bit exhausting resisting though.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
I’m so sorry that so many had really bad days today, hopefully tomorrow will bring some solace. I’m lucky to not have to worry about being tempted tomorrow, but for those of you who have that challenge, check in on SR as often as necessary, I’ll be around!
SoberMarathon, don’t give up, in time you’ll start seeing and feeling the benefits of not drinking, and trust me, others will take notice too. The biggest benefit is regaining your self-confidence and when you do, what others think you may or may not do won’t even matter.
Patricia68, it may be helpful to look up PAWS symptoms. If your hubby has been sober for a year, it is possible that he is experiencing it. It isn’t uncommon and reading up on it may help you understand what he is going through, and what the rest of us may experience at varying degrees. Here is a link that Dee has posted previously - PAWS | Digital Dharma. If I remember correctly, some people can experience symptoms for up to two years.
SoberMarathon, don’t give up, in time you’ll start seeing and feeling the benefits of not drinking, and trust me, others will take notice too. The biggest benefit is regaining your self-confidence and when you do, what others think you may or may not do won’t even matter.
Patricia68, it may be helpful to look up PAWS symptoms. If your hubby has been sober for a year, it is possible that he is experiencing it. It isn’t uncommon and reading up on it may help you understand what he is going through, and what the rest of us may experience at varying degrees. Here is a link that Dee has posted previously - PAWS | Digital Dharma. If I remember correctly, some people can experience symptoms for up to two years.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Patricia, SwimKim & all my fellow classmates.... This song is for YOU! :-) You are ALL extraordinary! :-)
http://youtu.be/a2f1bh-pruo
http://youtu.be/a2f1bh-pruo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
So sorry to hear that many are struggling. I am too. I'm trying not to count days, but I'm back on day 1. I think I'm going to try marking days off in my calendar that I don't drink and look at total days each month, instead of consecutive. I know we're all shooting for abstinence, and I want to as well, but this time of year is so hard and being kinder to myself might help me improve. Hugs to everyone. also, if you are not familiar with the delicious sparkly water called LaCroix, it's amazing. Read an article about a woman who beat her addictions with this miracle water. It's a tasty alternative.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Just in from the movies, came here to catch up and read about so many struggling today, I'm so sorry to see those posts. Please start over, we are here for you, no judgment.
Getting ready to call it a day, hand hurts from surgery, probably need more meds that I hate.
Tomorrow is day 11!
Getting ready to call it a day, hand hurts from surgery, probably need more meds that I hate.
Tomorrow is day 11!
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