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Class of November 2015 Part 3

Old 11-24-2015, 03:44 PM
  # 301 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Day 1 today...glad I found my way back here. Feeling so low today. Feeling like I am a bad person. Wishing I didn't have this issue. I want to stop drinking because I am tired of the embarrassment and regrets; it makes me live in a manner that is not becoming; it affects my relationships negatively. I really need to dig deep and find the strength to live sober. I need to do this.
This was me ten days ago.. I'll say this- Being sober makes It's easier to heal from all the damage i have done. When I'm drinking, I just get a lot of anxiety and depression thinking of all the things I've done that I regret. When I'm drinking, I feel like there is no way to live with myself after all the things I've done. but now being only 10 days sober, I'm seeing there is a way to let it all go and not punish myself for the rest of my life. Like someone in here said - It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:04 PM
  # 302 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by pams View Post
You tell that AV Kiki.....you got this....

I am very sad to find out that a co-worker committed suicide yesterday . He had some life stuff going on and was drinking heavily to deal with it. He wasn't even 40 years old.....

If that's not a reminder of why I am working so hard to stay sober I don't know what is.....
Oh how sad, so sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:18 PM
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Thank you for the kind words everyone. My co-worker was an acquaintance so I am feeling sad about such a tragic event, but not devastated. I feel sad for his wife, his 3 teenage children, the rest of his family and close friends, and for the life he never got to live. He had reached out for help to an old buddy who had found his way to sober, also a co-worker, I wish he would have found his way too.

I understand the depression that comes along with feeling helpless against the bottle. The shame, guilt, embarrassment and what seems like the inability to be strong enough stop. It sucks. I hated it and myself sometimes, and I had my own thoughts about how I would just end it all if life got bad enough.

So I am very grateful to have found SR and all of you! You all rock!
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:27 PM
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It has been a week since I've gone sober for good. So, I guess I'm in the class of November 2015. I'm glad I'm part of this forum.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:31 PM
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Keeping up with this thread is going to be a challenge! So many of us relaying the miseries associated with drinking, I guess that’s the insanity of the disease, why else would we continue to drink the poison?

Keepnitreal, I could have written that myself (#292). You are right, time will tell. I can attest to the fact that I am much more patient and even-tempered when sober, probably too much so!

My condolences to you Pams in the loss of your coworker, it is so sad to hear of a life ended too soon, especially under those circumstances.

My apologies for not responding to everyone’s posts, I’m lying low today, tired, irritable, and restless and wanting this day to end ASAP.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:52 PM
  # 306 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Keeping up with this thread is going to be a challenge! So many of us relaying the miseries associated with drinking, I guess thatís the insanity of the disease, why else would we continue to drink the poison?

Keepnitreal, I could have written that myself (#292). You are right, time will tell. I can attest to the fact that I am much more patient and even-tempered when sober, probably too much so!

My condolences to you Pams in the loss of your coworker, it is so sad to hear of a life ended too soon, especially under those circumstances.

My apologies for not responding to everyoneís posts, Iím lying low today, tired, irritable, and restless and wanting this day to end ASAP.
Sorry you're having a crappy day hope you can get some good rest.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:54 PM
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The suicides are very sad but very real. At least a couple times today I had very loose thoughts about the concept. I feel like I would never go there, could never go there. But maybe, to some extent understand how others who couldn't beat addiction have felt so helpless and hopeless there wasn't a better option. I know sobriety is the only option. I've tasted it before during the past couple years but somehow let the taste of beer and wine win it over at times.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:55 PM
  # 308 (permalink)  
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Finishing up my day 10, worried about thanksgiving . Just had a change of plans and I'll now be hosting thanksgiving for not only myself, my husband and 2 kids- but also my husbands coworker plus a friend and her husband and their kid. Ahh not prepared for the fact that there will be alcohol in my home. I'm sure my husband's friend/coworker will bring beer and/or my friends husband will. It's just the norm at get togethers. I'd rather not be tested but I can't tell everyone coming to my house to tip toe around me since I'm fragile trying to stay sober. Sigh.. Anxious about it all.. But will get through it.. Have to get through it.
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:58 PM
  # 309 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Alphonse View Post
It has been a week since I've gone sober for good. So, I guess I'm in the class of November 2015. I'm glad I'm part of this forum.
Welcome to the November class! I'm only 3 days ahead of you. Let's keep it up!!
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:02 PM
  # 310 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Neverthought View Post
Thanks for sharing you stories gang!

So...hello class.......joining in for another bout of sobriety. I was doing well for a while, but now back to old habits. I have to stop the bleeding (drinking) again.

I make all of these efforts to put the family on a budget and my wife just simply doesn't get it. It's ridiculously stressful, so, I said f'it, and went the route of medicating myself. Uh, not the right choice, but I should know that by now.

Thanks for having me, uhgain.....
At least you've come for support. We're here. Post, read, post, read
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:13 PM
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Day 19 and I am glad my internet was turned back on today. For some reason it was off yesterday and I was having a tough time not being able to connect to the Forum. I called a friend and was able to work through my tough time. We played a game naming every drink under the sun I could have besides liquor. It kind of took my mind off of it. I've said it so many times and I'll say it again, there's nothing like having a friend who gives their utmost support!
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:17 PM
  # 312 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GoldenSands View Post
Finishing up my day 10, worried about thanksgiving . Just had a change of plans and I'll now be hosting thanksgiving for not only myself, my husband and 2 kids- but also my husbands coworker plus a friend and her husband and their kid. Ahh not prepared for the fact that there will be alcohol in my home. I'm sure my husband's friend/coworker will bring beer and/or my friends husband will. It's just the norm at get togethers. I'd rather not be tested but I can't tell everyone coming to my house to tip toe around me since I'm fragile trying to stay sober. Sigh.. Anxious about it all.. But will get through it.. Have to get through it.
I have 2 holiday meals to attend on Thursday and there will be bars set up and wine everywhere. I have to get through this too. Let's get through this together!
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:52 PM
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Thanks for sharing such a personal part of your life with us snow velvet.

The thought has crossed my mind while deeply drunk and loathing myself. Getting sober is a much better alternative.

Hugs
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:56 PM
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UPDATE: (Tuesday 11/24/15)
Welcome Neverthought, Alphonse and rah555 to the class! :-)

*****NOTE*****
Some people don't like to count days. If anyone wants me to take them off this list or just put something generic like Jsbodhi has below, no problem!!! OH and let me know if I need to change anything. :-)

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

Gifford -18 days
Canguy -16 days
HealthyGoals -9 days
Me (KiKi) -9 days
Patricia -11 days
StrangeAngel -"working her butt off!" :-)
Pams -9 days
GoldenSands -10 days
CurlyGirl -19 days
KeepNitreal -17 days
BlackBirdFly -10 days
Noolan -5 days
SwimKim -14 days
MeShelly -10 days
Thumbelina -25 days
Lisa247 -4 days
WalkTheLine-4 days
Supertired -10 days
Jsbodhi - "in between 30 days somewhere" :-)
Max74 -24 days
DariaM -4 days
ForeverFuzzy -5 days
BadSneakers -15 days
Jemma44 -16 days
Blondsober -3 days
Snowvelvet -20 days
GoldCoastGirl -3 days
Rivelino -3 days
TheRake -3 days
Badger257 -10 days
Odelle -3 days
Tufty13 -23 days
TryinginTexas - 10 days
Onetimeless -18 days
Dallow - 2 days
Learntofly -31 days
Faithfulandfree - 2 days
Tootsiesdad -16 days
SoberMarathon -2 days
Introspectator- 9 days
RedAndy -10 days
Jackie1214 -1 day and the first day of the rest of your life! You WILL do this!!! :-)
Neverthought -? days :-)
Rah555 -1 day-never give up!!!
Alphonse -7 days


*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
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Old 11-24-2015, 06:18 PM
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Kiki... do you have a spreadsheet for all of this? thanks for keeping the class roster.
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Old 11-24-2015, 06:35 PM
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Rounding out Day 2. Will consider going for a run in the morning...if not then, tomorrow afternoon for sure!! Good day everyone!...each day will get a little brighter!
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Old 11-24-2015, 06:46 PM
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Hi everyone and welcome to Neverthought, Rah555 & Alphonse to the class!!!

Wrapping up the day here & I'm exhausted. Battled a mild craving around lunch time then a MONSTER craving around 4:00! My AV was SO loud & for a moment I was really scared I was gonna listen but I didn't...thank God!

Pams- I am sure that not drinking will really help you quit smoking when your ready! :-) Hope you're staying warm up there at the North Pole (a.k.a. Canada). Haha

Jsbodhi -I am glad to be done with the alcohol AND cigarettes too!

Neverthought -I was the queen of getting the F-it's so I totally relate. I was a major self-meditator! Nah...you didn't miss the "sobriety boat"! You're on it right now & we have life vests just in case! :-)

Rah555 -so glad you are here with us! Find strength in US! You are NOT a bad person. None of us are! :-) This place is saving my arse & really helping me be accountable! I was a binge drinker too. Miserable. We will stay sober! :-(

Blondsober-I agree with you on the bad habits of others being a trigger! My husband chews loud & snores. Does that count? Haha

Odelle- you ROCK! 3 days!!!

Max24-24 days! Woo hoo!!! Thanks for the hope that it gets better.

Snowvelvet- I hope your job interview went well & hope the meeting helped you feel better! I totally know what restless, irritable & discontent feels like! Yuck!

Patricia- you feeling better now? Did you silence the AV?

Tufty- Yay! 23 days! I actually had you down as 24 but changed it. Haha. I'm taking my kids to Mockingjay tomorrow! :-) Yeah...hangovers SUCK!

SwimKim-Hey!!!!!

Healthygoals-sorry you're not feeling well. I tried Percocet after the birth of our first child & it made me sick too! You feeling better?

Canguy- hmmmm...4 days for the alcohol to be out of our system completely? Well that explains why I was stuck in day 3 for a while!

FaithfulandFree- you're doing it!!! Keep going!

Keepinitreal-hey!!!

Thumbelina-25 days!!! Wow!

SnowVelvet- thanks for sharing that. That's where alcohol takes us...it wants to kill us! We will NOT let it tho, will we? I'm glad you got thru that craving!

Dee-thanks for always checking in on us!!!

SoberMarathon-Hang in there! Every day gets a little easier. You WILL make it! Going for a run tomorrow sounds great!

GoldenSands-I agree....you are so right...I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel too after only 9 days! 10 days is amazing! You WILL get through thanksgiving! Just take it 1 hour or 1 minute at a time if you need to and if you see people drinking just picture a scull & crossbones on it! It's poison!

Pams-I'm still so sad about your co-worker. Alcoholism sucks!

Alphonse-so glad you're here! 1 week is awesome!!!

Odelle- I hope you are feeling better. Great job taking care of yourself.

CurlyGirl- Hey!!! 19 days! Awesome! Your game sounds fun! Glad your internet is back up & glad you got thru yesterday.

BlackBird- hi there!

Badger- no spreadsheet...its MAGIC! ;-) HaHa.
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Old 11-24-2015, 07:06 PM
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Kiki have you ever seen my little pony? I read your posts in pinkie pie's voice. Lol. Keep that energy!
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Old 11-24-2015, 07:25 PM
  # 319 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy View Post
Kiki have you ever seen my little pony? I read your posts in pinkie pie's voice. Lol. Keep that energy!
hahahah!! Know exactly what you're talking about!
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Old 11-24-2015, 07:39 PM
  # 320 (permalink)  
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End of day 4. Tomorrow begins day 5! More than halfway to a week! Hit up the gym after work, then out to a dance at a club to support a friend's event. Had soda and got an appetizer for my post-workout dinner at the club. Now home and off to bed. It was very surreal to be downtown without a buzz. The air was so crisp and cold and everything just seemed so clear and vivid. I guess that's the beauty of seeing the town without an alcohol haze.
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