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Class of February 2015 Part 3

Old 04-29-2015, 05:42 AM
  # 261 (permalink)  
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Ready, that's a really long commute. Not sure how you manage that.

Good job with that craving. I'm finding they pop up at the strangest moments too. I'm also a vodka drinker, when I drank alone, and would make mix drinks that were similar to what you describe. Vodka and a splash of cranberry. I absolutely hate the taste of it too. That's one thing I've been telling myself when I get cravings now....."remember how bad vodka taste?" So even if I can't suppress the desire to get drunk, I can suppress the desire to drink since I remind myself how bad it tastes.
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Old 04-30-2015, 05:05 PM
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Hi all. Hope today is good for you. I'm just home and starving - not too much to share today which I guess is good. I'm quite pleased this week is almost over, because it was a tough one.

Until tomorrow, fellow Febbers.
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:48 AM
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Hi all, haven't been posting at all but have been reading.

Still sober since January 28th.

I've been reluctant to say anything because I'm beginning to think the newcomers section seems to be just the same old same old. Saccharine sweet posts from a group of regular posters. I've put a few on ignore because that's why the button is there I guess.
Just seems like this is just some big online AA meeting.
I don't know. I'd like to stick about but it doesn't feel like the right place anymore.
Will be looking around.

I do wish everyone the best in staying sober though
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Old 05-01-2015, 07:25 AM
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As they say, take what works and ignore what doesn't. Good job on staying sober. Are you using any other tools that seem to be more effective? Something's working for you which is great.

If I may ask, what is it you'd rather see? After all, we are a bunch of alcoholics, and since I don't know anyone's name and no one knows mine, it's the definition of Anonymous!

I reread your post and sort of chuckled as I have seen some posts that are anything but sweet!

Last edited by ReadyOrNot123; 05-01-2015 at 07:26 AM. Reason: Adding a comment
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Old 05-01-2015, 07:35 AM
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Hey DD. I've never been to AA, so nothing to compare it to. I think I've had a bit of the opposite reaction and feel much better posting here on the daily threads than the newcomers.....the newcomers is very fast paced and the regularity here helps me.

With that said, I'm real struggling mentally today. Debating telling my brother about my attempt at getting sober. Currently at the airport now heading to meet up with him for the weekend. I feel incredibly confident in my ability to not drink this weekend, but am having a tough time with the bachelor party in a few weeks.

I have played the tape through and know that I can't drink at the bachelor party, but staying sober through the whole thing scares me too.

Last night I was planning a nice sober night at home, but last minute something popped up at work and I wound up going to a bar. I did the club soda routine and said I wasn't drinking cuz of my allergies, but it took a lot out of me mentally. I feel like I'm punishing myself, but the reality is it's great not having hangovers and even better not futily attempting to remember what happened in a blackout.
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Old 05-01-2015, 07:51 AM
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Tell your brother. What can it hurt? And saying it out loud makes it real, especially when you tell someone who has a vested interest in your well being.

You are doing well Mets, you really are. Can you skip the bachelor party?
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Old 05-01-2015, 08:09 AM
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Nah, I can't skip it. It's my brother's bachelor party.

The tough thing is that it's also out of town, so I don't have a good exit strategy. Deep down, I know telling him this weekend will make the bachelor party a lot easier. But part of me is scared to tell him because of that whole accountability thing. If I screw up and have told him, it will obviously be worse.

I sort of felt like after last weekend staying completely sober at my friend's birthday party would give me renewed confidence. However, that's really worn off.

This staying sober thing is plain and simply not easy. Today I'm letting it get the best of me and just feel very down on myself. Then just the added anxiety of seeing my brother tonight and not knowing if I'll be able to muster the courage to say something.
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Old 05-01-2015, 08:59 AM
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Nope, you're right, I forgot it's your brother's bachelor party. Can't miss it.

It's not easy, that's for sure. I'm much older than you, so don't have a lot of the same social pressures. I wish I had some good advice for you. Maybe after a year of sobriety it will be second nature, but that's not helpful now - so I think it's all down to the cliché - one day at a time.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:54 AM
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The good thing with the bachelor party is it's over a full weekend. So while I have no exit opportunity to just go home, I can also not partake in parts of the weekend and still be present. I know I can just go to dinner, then back to the hotel and skip the bar after. Planning to play golf one day and go to a beach bar the other. I've been doing some research about stuff to do in that city and think I've found some good alternatives to do when they're at the beach bar.

I'm actually more worried about the weddings as I hate, hate, hate weddings. Really highlights to me that I'm always single and I get super down on myself.
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:12 PM
  # 270 (permalink)  
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If you're going make a bulletproof plan Mets.
watertight.

making a recovery plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

dealing with social situations
http://www.cryingoutnow.com/2010/11/...val-guide.html

There's no reason why you can;t stay sober, if you're prepared to deal with anything

D
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:24 PM
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Thanks Dee. This one point really hits home. I really need to think about this more.

"Forgive yourself for wanting to drink. Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one."
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Old 05-02-2015, 05:23 AM
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Hi all, it's the weekend! I'm hoping the clouds clear and the weather warms. I'm going to go see my niece play softball later today - one more time before her high school softball career comes to a close. She's been playing since 5th grade rec league, so I'm going to miss this!

I've got a bit of a headache, sort of an overall achy feeling - and I find myself wondering why I'm even complaining about this - it's nothing compared to the hangovers I would get! So although I could feel better physically, I feel pretty grateful mentally.

Mets, good luck today, you've got people in your corner!
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Old 05-02-2015, 10:40 AM
  # 273 (permalink)  
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NYMets, good luck this weekend. Don't worry about the future wedding part yet. Let us know how you are doing. If you need to post in the NewComer section to get a round of quick support if you have a moment that is testing your limits. That section is for newcomers and for those who need someone to talk with ASAP.

I've been walking alot and enjoying not having class. Husband is at a beer fest today. I bailed on the 10 mile hike. It was an hour away and with co-workers bringing families. I was going to bring headphones, so what's the point? I also got to sleep in. We went to breakfast. I'm going through all these old soaps, creams and medicines. I am ridding what I can, recycling what I can and have a few medicines I need to find out where to turn in. Expired and so I want to turn them in the right way.

I did this because I'm looking for sunscreen before I buy more. My skin has been jacked for some time. I had to use anti biotics to rid of the severe acne a few times. They say I have Roseca, well drinking makes that worse. My skin is red, but not bumpy and it's looking better. I'm allergic to alot of stuff, so there is one morning mostirizer/sunscreen I am going to start using again - it's $16.00/bottle. Before I spend, gotta see what I have. I have creams from 5 years ago that I tried for acne, only made it worse. So time to purge.

I'm slowly adding more healthy things to my life. I'm having intense craving days - mixed with days of not thinking about drinks. I keep waiting for the 90-100 days mark. Even if it's placebo effect, I keep reading accounts and scientific stuff that cravings/thoughts ease some at that point.

Typically I'd be jonesing for today - being alone and at home. I'm not. After finishing my mini-project, I'm going up North by work. There is a gym with a lap pool and whirlpool. My feet sore from all the walking, so I figured I could do biking or ellipical for awhile, then swimming (which is a treat!) followed up by a hot tub soak. I then might get some icy treats for at home. I've eliminated most sugars with tea, but I like these 100 calorie icee cups - even with the sugars, I eat one with dinner.

Hubby will be driven home tonight, his father is going to beer fest too and they have a sober driver picking them up at the end. So he's on the couch tonight - no beer breath in my face for me! I plan on playing my game on my ipad and that's a treat too.

Class starts tomorrow so I'll have lots of homework.

Work- the changes keep coming - I just am going to lay low and try and survive and see how everything goes. I know change brings bad and good things. So it takes time to readjust. I will miss being able to do homework at work. That was a perk. I wouldn't dare do that with a new boss. The thing is we aren't 100% of time busy because we are good enough to fix everything that breaks right away and have gotten good at regular day to day. Our project backlog is next to nothing finally after 3 years. So........ I had time for some homework. I also know we have periods of extreme business when we could use extra 1-2 people. *shrug* Corporate world irratating in that way. It's ok if someone has say a breakfast, lunch, workouts, disappears for 1/2 hour talking (I try to stick to 1 hour lunches)- whatever, but man you have a book at your desk that isn't work?? OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!! lol

Back to my project and then off to gym - 50 minutes away but POOL, and a nice Olympic size one too. I haven't done lane laps yet, too scared, I'm going to try today - and its shyness holding me back. Lame. I'm how old?
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Old 05-02-2015, 02:56 PM
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Sounding great Torn

D
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Old 05-02-2015, 10:17 PM
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Just checking in to say I made it through the day without a drop. Never really felt any urge to drink, though there were, as always, opportunities where I could have.

I didn't tell my brother about my overall plans to stop, but I think my just ordering club sodas at dinner now several times in a row when with him is setting the stage for me to be able to say something a bit more comfortably
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:05 AM
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Torn, I hope you enjoyed your day, it sounds really nice, and I do know what you mean by being alone and home. It used to be such a wonderful opportunity to drink (alcoholic much??) and I really loved it. You sound like you're really embracing being healthy and that's so great. The 90-100 day mark is coming right up, and I hope you're right, the cravings subside.

I have been trying to be healthy too - yesterday I completely misjudged my meals - I was going to have dinner after the game with my sister's family, had some yogurt late morning which seemed to fill me up at that time but my hunger roared back around 1:30 to the point where I couldn't think of anything else. At that time I was in an outlet mall, with very few healthy options, I went with a caramel covered apple since at least the apple was healthy! It tided me over, I drove out to the game, my niece hit the cover off the ball (a single, three doubles and a triple) and the girls won. My nephew was back from college and joined us (even though he has zilch interest in sports and it showed with some of his questions ) so it was a great surprise and a great day. The weather - the star of the show - was fantastic! Sun! Warmth! Dinner was good too, and I was home nice and early. Today I will do some errands and chores, and catch Game of Thrones tonight. Tomorrow the rat race begins anew for the week, but what can you do, at least the weekends are good.

Mets, good job on getting through the party! I completely agree that people getting used to you not drinking will take that particular stressor off the table. I find it's much easier to not drink in some situations more than others, mainly because some people would make way more of a fuss if I did order a drink in those situations, and who needs it.

Have a good day everyone.
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Old 05-04-2015, 12:57 AM
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Hi everyone
I'm here doing well. No major cravings .. I watch closely for the triggers. Happier, calmer more at peace then I've ever been. Still have the boo hoos, still have the why me days... But come out of them stronger.

Here's to May and to us!
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Old 05-04-2015, 03:47 AM
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Happy Monday everyone! I just completed my 11th consecutive sober weekend. I did have that mid week screw up where I drank, so this is just day 12, but I'm proud of those 11 weekends and the weekends are usually where the worst blackouts I had occurred. The feb 18th blackout that spurred my drive to get sober this time was a Wednesday, which I think was a wake up call that my horrible weekend patterns were now as bad as my weeknight at home binges that were comparatively tame.

Anyway, happy Monday!
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Old 05-04-2015, 05:26 PM
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Well done Mets, and great to hear from you Trees! It sounds like our group is upbeat, I suspect in no small measure because the weather is turning. Today was fantastic out, I made myself go outside for a walk and fortunately had some time to make it a good one.

(Narrow escape from this laptop being heaved across the room, but the Red Sox pitcher managed somehow to get out of a jam. We are in for a long season I fear. But I digress...)

I didn't want to drink today, no cravings, but I did feel sort of sad (maybe melancholy is the better word) when I saw people at the outdoor cafe's having a glass of wine with lunch. There's just something faulty in my wiring, I can't have just one. Nor do I want just one, for that matter. But it passed quickly, so that's that.

Aside from the weather, we can't discount the positive changes we are making in our lives, so let's keep it up. Trees, I agree, here's to May and to us!
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Old 05-05-2015, 04:50 AM
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I'm probably one of the few that is actually not happy about this weather. I actually like it chilly out, love snow, etc. This time of year is also bad for me because I get bad seasonal allergies, so been sneezing a ton, and have itchy eyes and at times a scratchy throat. NYC also smells bad in the summer, ha.

Anyway, Ready, you hit the nail on the head with having just one. I'm not wired that way. The times I successfully have one are rather rare. I'd usually not drink at all if given the choice between one and none.

I would agree that in general, I'm feeling a bit more upbeat, though I still feel like I'm walking on egg shells with my sobriety even though I'm now on Day 13 and 75 days sober out of 76, by far the best run I've had since 2007 and in 2007, I wasn't trying to get sober, I was just on a diet. I'm just really struggling with that idea of "never drinking again" so just taking it one day at a time since that's all that I can control.
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