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Class of February 2015 Part 3

Old 05-15-2015, 06:40 AM
  # 321 (permalink)  
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Have fun Mets, it sounds like a fun weekend and will be good to get under your belt.

Torn, the illusion description is a good one. And 60, I'm glad your day was better. I'm no stranger to those absolutely ****** weeks - this wasn't one of them thankfully - and the combination of anger and resignation is pretty awful.

One morning this week I was walking across the street to work at 7:30 a.m., pretty much 2/3 of the way across when this guy in a box truck came flying around the corner, and swerved towards me, yelling all the way (guess he doesn't like jaywalkers). As if there weren't enough pressures in the day to day world, you have to deal with assholes who are just assholes to be assholes. On bad days, that's the metaphorical guy I work with. It sucks.

However, this week hasn't been that bad so just have to get through the day and figure out what to do this weekend. Happy Friday everyone.
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Old 05-15-2015, 09:51 PM
  # 322 (permalink)  
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Getting into bed now. 100% sober. Going to wake up early at my new normal time around 6:30AM and go for a jog, then go sightseeing on my own.

Had a really good time tonight and never felt a craving to drink, even when offered. Nobody really pushed me and overall, it was just fun. I left at 11:30ish since they were continuing on to more bars and I feel like people were gonna start getting real drunk. Didn't really want to be part of that and don't think anybody will care that me and two other guys came back to the hotel.

Well, one night down and one to go.
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Old 05-15-2015, 09:51 PM
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Good to hear mets

D
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Old 05-16-2015, 07:28 AM
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That's great Mets, have fun today.

Nothing much going on here today. Last night I started to think I am heading to a relapse, based on what I have read and experienced that relapses start in your head long before you are in the liquor store with a bottle in your hand. So I will read here a bit this morning and then go out for lunch and some errands later, and just not drink. Note that I am not actually close to drinking, but feeling the AV calling my name from the distance. I'm trying to recognize those sorts of things and head them off before the damage is done.

Have a good weekend all.
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Old 05-16-2015, 04:55 PM
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ReadyorNot, planning the relapse mentally is one thing, recognizing a craving and riding it out another. I hope you just had an AV battle and won. You mentioned you were sober long enough to not think about drinking. Go back to that memory and know it will happen again. I was inspired you quit for 6 years and recall that thinking about drinks went away. We just need to get to that point again.

NYMets, congratulations on the first night sober. I am working out too. I'm doing the couch-5k plan and I just finished week 4, after doing week 3 twice. I'm jogging outside and getting progressively better.

I went to school to do groupwork today and then went to the gym to do the elliptical (my off- running days to avoid injuries). I was thinking weekend! AV still is habitually triggered on weekends. I had to reflect as I'm sweating and working hard on the exercise machine . . .what a waste to throw away all the exercise effort drinking those empty calories. It also makes fat burning activities halt while the body detoxes. I was thankful to be working out instead of drinking.

Hubby is helping out at a beerfest fundraiser today. His family - likes the drinks. I don't see them falling down drunk like ever, but it makes lots of things tricky sometimes. I had school as a way to excuse myself, cause orginally I was on the docket for pre-beer help.

I'm ok being around it but I still get on edge sometimes. Hubby is spending the night at his brothers.

So school, exercise, groceries, home alone, no booze, cooking some light dinner, but I WILL play my video game tonight. Maybe I like that too much but it beats poison?? Plus I did my priorities first.
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Old 05-16-2015, 05:59 PM
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Hi Torn, yes I beat the AV down -- with cupcakes. I indulged addiction number 2, which is my sweet tooth, but like you and your video game - it beats the poison! Anyway, the AV is quiet again.

You're an inspiration! I should have read your list before going for the cupcakes! I hope you enjoy your evening.
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Old 05-16-2015, 09:20 PM
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On my way back to the hotel now. 100% sober.

Felt just a bit more awkward tonight since the conversation turned to dating in the corner of the table I was at and just was very uncomfortable to talk about with my brother's friends. I just sorta made up some stuff that I was enjoying being single.

Anyway, all in all another fun night. Nobody cared I wasn't drinking and when I said I was heading back to the hotel, people just said safe travels and see you in the AM. Wasn't any peer pressure to continue on.

So yeah, tomorrow AM will get up and do another jog, then some more sightseeing before my flight back to NY
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Old 05-16-2015, 10:30 PM
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NyMets, you exercised your sober muscles, and got through the weekend and had some fun. Be proud!
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:04 AM
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Awesome Mets. Sounds like a good weekend all around. You should be very pleased, you earned it!
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Old 05-18-2015, 04:19 AM
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So oddly, I got a craving to drink when I got home last night. Today will be a slow day at work, I don't have class tonight, and have done most of the homework for Tuesday's class.

I guess I was just relieved and feeing good about getting through the bachelor party and then wanting to "reward" myself with some drinks at home where nobody would see it and there was little risk of embarrassment.

The craving hit while I was on the subway and I just told myself "go back to the apartment first and unpack, then decide if you still want to drink." So that's what I did and once I was done unpacking, the craving was over.

Kind of annoyed that there was such a strong craving, stronger than any I had at the bachelor party, but once again happy I didn't act on it and now can get ready for an AM gym trip rather than still being asleep and shortly having to load up on Advil, Visine, Tums and breath mints to get to work on time while feeling OK and not stinking of booze.

I already have sober plans for the Memorial Day weekend. For the time being, focusing on staying sober this week, then will start preparing more for the back-to-back weddings I have coming up after Memorial Day. One is in the town k grew up, so I will drive to it and tell people I'm not drinking since I'm driving. The other one is out of town and I'm sharing a hotel with some college friends. That one is going to be very tough. Fortunately my brother's wedding isn't until the fall, so I have time to prepare for that.
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Old 05-18-2015, 04:45 AM
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I often had cravings after getting through something big Mets - I'm glad you stayed true

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Old 05-18-2015, 06:23 PM
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Well done Mets. I think that post-event craving makes sense too, although it sucks. I mean, how much do you have to devote to this sobriety thing anyway? You have to plan, give up things you want to do (don't mean the actual drinking but the events that might cause you to drink), stay on guard all the time, manage to get through and actually be pleased about it, and then boom, out of left field you have to deal with cravings for no good reason. Bummer. Well I guess that's life, and it's not the worst hand you could be dealt, but that damn AV is just waiting and watching.

Well I'm not really sure where that came from...but I'm just home from work, having dinner, and getting ready to go to bed and do it again.

Have a good night all.
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Old 05-18-2015, 06:34 PM
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Wow.. it's 90 days today. I can't believe it! I was *THIS* close to not making it as I was at a friends house last night that I'm not super close with and they all started to drink. I was offered several times and I declined several times but as the night went on I grew weaker and actually said to myself okay if they ask again, just go ahead. Thankfully they didn't. And thankfully they didn't just hand me a drink because I am sure I would've caved. That close to 90 days and everything. It makes me feel like I just shouldn't be in those situations right now. I don't really feel proud of myself for "making it" because I HAD made up my mind that it would be okay to drink if they actually handed me a drink or if they asked me one more time. I pretty much gave up but just got lucky in that it didn't result in drinking.

New day - time to refocus and make the choice to not cave if ever in that situation again. Or to just become a hermit.

Well fluke or not I made it to 90 days! I truly can't believe it. I wish I felt prouder of myself.
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Old 05-18-2015, 09:22 PM
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60, I know how you feel....I'm still beating myself up about not being on Day 89 right now. I think I was in a similar situation where maybe I could blame "bad luck" on the rain delay at the game I was at and then the restaurant/bar being the logical place to wait it out. My friend then had beer and well, I did too. I easily could have said no. You did so no last night, so no reason to hang your head that you came close.

Fact is you didn't drink and now you have 90 days!
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Old 05-19-2015, 02:57 PM
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Thank you NYmets. I appreciate it. I sort of feel like being a hermit now. Although I did think okay I made 90 days, I showed myself I could do it, so why not take a break and drink just today. :-| sigh. It will be nice if my brain didn't do this to me! Just need to focus on one day at a time and specifically, getting through this day. I'm thinking of changing jobs because it creates so much stress that I feel pushed to drink which is why I typically drank every day during the week and took weekends off (opposite of most people I think!) ... I need a nice, easy "recovery" job ... but then again isn't every job stressful. I don't know. I just feel pushed to the brink almost every day anymore.

Well just need to focus on getting through this day.
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:21 PM
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Great job 60!! You should be proud! That said, I feel similarly. I hit 90 days on Sunday, but I don't feel much like patting myself on the back. I'm glad, don't get me wrong, but otherwise, meh. I also have a very stressful job, and as soon as you figure out what the nice, easy recovery job is, please let me know, I'd like to apply.

Great job 60 and as you say, one day at a time. Mets, you're well on your way to 90 too, keep it up.
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Old 05-20-2015, 04:47 PM
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Another day pretty much down and we are heading into a long weekend - phew! It's a WFH day so I'm done and home / comfy. I will watch some baseball and go to bed early (well I always go to bed early, so that's nothing new). I hope everyone is doing well today.
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Old 05-20-2015, 05:48 PM
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Yeah. At home for me watching baseball and hockey.

No desire to drink and no cravings today, but I feel like that's more because I have an 8AM meeting to be at that I can't be hungover at than it is any willpower.

Overall, since Sunday night's craving, been a relatively calm week. I have it in my head now to just get done with May, and then worry about June. The thought of never drinking ever again is still something I simply cannot wrap my head around.
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Old 05-21-2015, 12:49 PM
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100 days today. I'm proud of that. Off to chase 200.
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Old 05-21-2015, 04:44 PM
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Congrats Trees

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