Class of February 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Yeah, 100 days is great....though I had my one slip, I'm pretty happy with myself coming up on 100 sober days out of 101.
I didn't come close to drinking today, but did try to justify it to myself. Some coworkers were going out after work for drinks and this woman that I like in another department (and I think she's interested in me) was going to be there. I was thinking it would be great to skip class, have some beers and try to talk with her.
I realized pretty quickly, however, that it likely would not be just a few beers, especially with my nerves around dating stuff and more nerves around possibly dating a co-worker. Again, totally different department and even my boss has suggested that we're both single, he same age, and have similar interests, so there's no conflict of interest.
Anyway, I decided to just skip out on that and I'm at class now. Having trouble concentrating, so on here, but do think I made the right decision. Don't think I'll improve my dating odds if I'm drunk, so a work happy hour maybe not ideal. And I know that if I'd gone and the conversation didn't go well or I was just too nervous to approach her, then I'd likely just start drinking heavily when I got home.
I didn't come close to drinking today, but did try to justify it to myself. Some coworkers were going out after work for drinks and this woman that I like in another department (and I think she's interested in me) was going to be there. I was thinking it would be great to skip class, have some beers and try to talk with her.
I realized pretty quickly, however, that it likely would not be just a few beers, especially with my nerves around dating stuff and more nerves around possibly dating a co-worker. Again, totally different department and even my boss has suggested that we're both single, he same age, and have similar interests, so there's no conflict of interest.
Anyway, I decided to just skip out on that and I'm at class now. Having trouble concentrating, so on here, but do think I made the right decision. Don't think I'll improve my dating odds if I'm drunk, so a work happy hour maybe not ideal. And I know that if I'd gone and the conversation didn't go well or I was just too nervous to approach her, then I'd likely just start drinking heavily when I got home.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Trees, that's fantastic! Good for you. How has it been? Is the struggle lessening?
I went out to dinner with two old friends from work last night (we're old, yes but we've also been working in the same place for over 25 years - no longer in the same department - so that kind of "old") - there was way more pressure to eat than drink - no one even mentioned the booze (or lack). Saboteurs abound, of all stripes. For some of us it's at least as hard to keep weight under control as it is to stop drinking. Anyway, we had a good time. One of the women announced her retirement (corporate America sucks, and we're all planning it/dreaming of it. She's in her mid 50s, so she's awfully fortunate to be able to do it already!).
This weekend I will be heading out to see my niece graduate from high school and then heading to see the Red Sox play. Should be fun.
TGIF!
I went out to dinner with two old friends from work last night (we're old, yes but we've also been working in the same place for over 25 years - no longer in the same department - so that kind of "old") - there was way more pressure to eat than drink - no one even mentioned the booze (or lack). Saboteurs abound, of all stripes. For some of us it's at least as hard to keep weight under control as it is to stop drinking. Anyway, we had a good time. One of the women announced her retirement (corporate America sucks, and we're all planning it/dreaming of it. She's in her mid 50s, so she's awfully fortunate to be able to do it already!).
This weekend I will be heading out to see my niece graduate from high school and then heading to see the Red Sox play. Should be fun.
TGIF!
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Hi guys, I'm at 85 days. I'm looking forward to class being over. So many hours, so tired, so stressful. I keep thinking how I'm going to let loose! Then, I remember, I can't. I'm annoyed by this. Out of no where the sober lady I met in Europe texted and asked how I was doing and about sobriety. Felt nice to say I was still sober.
I'm getting used to all the change at work. My new location = lots of visitors! for better or worse. The guy I'm worried about was a jerk to his long time employee, like really mean. I wasn't there it spooked my work partner ans I said, I told you! This guy is bad stuff.
I got an invite to my cousins bridal shower. This family was mean to my mom. Mostly their mom,aka, my aunt. They blew off all my wedding stuff, but came to wedding. Whatever, I vowed they weren't worth my time or fake, because we are family crap. So I tossed it. Ill RSVP no to the wedding though. My dad keeps trying, and my brothers and nope. So I think this might make my dad upset, but oh well. I watched him try and win his parents over for life, get crappies on by the siblings. I don't buy into forcing yourself to remain in unhealthy relationships for the sake of 'family'.
I was think about HALT today. I'm always hungry and tired with new diet and school. Lol. I sound like a grouchy lady tonight. School tomorrow, 6 hours.
Gratitude. I'm happy I can finally run 20 minutes straight, I am sober, and as always, my cats! Lovely fuzz balls. Ok already in bed, later Febbers.
I'm getting used to all the change at work. My new location = lots of visitors! for better or worse. The guy I'm worried about was a jerk to his long time employee, like really mean. I wasn't there it spooked my work partner ans I said, I told you! This guy is bad stuff.
I got an invite to my cousins bridal shower. This family was mean to my mom. Mostly their mom,aka, my aunt. They blew off all my wedding stuff, but came to wedding. Whatever, I vowed they weren't worth my time or fake, because we are family crap. So I tossed it. Ill RSVP no to the wedding though. My dad keeps trying, and my brothers and nope. So I think this might make my dad upset, but oh well. I watched him try and win his parents over for life, get crappies on by the siblings. I don't buy into forcing yourself to remain in unhealthy relationships for the sake of 'family'.
I was think about HALT today. I'm always hungry and tired with new diet and school. Lol. I sound like a grouchy lady tonight. School tomorrow, 6 hours.
Gratitude. I'm happy I can finally run 20 minutes straight, I am sober, and as always, my cats! Lovely fuzz balls. Ok already in bed, later Febbers.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
I'm very sad to say that I caved and threw away my 90+ days of sobriety and drank. 
So now I'm back to ground zero. I feel awful. And I definitely taught myself why I didn't want to drink anymore. It's definitely NOT worth it.
Starting over and this time I will make it. There is no other option. It's not worth feeling this awful. If nothing else let my slip up be inspiration for you all to stay the course. Don't feel this way!
So now I'm back to ground zero. I feel awful. And I definitely taught myself why I didn't want to drink anymore. It's definitely NOT worth it. Starting over and this time I will make it. There is no other option. It's not worth feeling this awful. If nothing else let my slip up be inspiration for you all to stay the course. Don't feel this way!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Stupidity? Not looking at life in the right way I suppose. I got really stressed out with work and used it as an excuse. I said whatever - nothing matters anymore. I don't matter. Why does it matter if I'm sober? I just gave up on everything. "Why do I have to work so hard all the time just to be normal?" ... pity party of 1 .. Such a stupid move on my part. I have to remember this feeling and really, really understand it when I get beyond 90 days again so I don't slip.
I'm so remorseful.
I'm so remorseful.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Good morning all. Oh 60, I'm so sorry. But it happened, you have confirmed your resolve, and it can be over just as quickly. Did you feel it building? Or was it more spontaneous? Working hard to feel normal, I get that. I guess there's no way to get around it, much as we'd like it to.
Torn, I admire people who can turn their backs on toxic people in general, never mind family. It's not something I do well - or at all for that matter. And let's face it, other than our own, showers are the pits. Weddings I like, but showers - I would be happy to never to another one.
Mets - how are things with you?
I was completely away from computers yesterday - had a very full day and I am exhausted - my niece's high school graduation was yesterday and it was awesome - but quite chilly. I'm proud of that kid. That's a two hour drive there, then back, then we went to see the Red Sox beat the Angels! I have no plans for the rest of the long weekend which is just fine with me.
Well, I am thinking of you guys Torn and 60. Torn, that was interesting that the woman texted you. Good timing, it seems - at any rate we can all use all the help we can get.
60 - one day at a time. You'll be at 90 again in no time.
Torn, I admire people who can turn their backs on toxic people in general, never mind family. It's not something I do well - or at all for that matter. And let's face it, other than our own, showers are the pits. Weddings I like, but showers - I would be happy to never to another one.
Mets - how are things with you?
I was completely away from computers yesterday - had a very full day and I am exhausted - my niece's high school graduation was yesterday and it was awesome - but quite chilly. I'm proud of that kid. That's a two hour drive there, then back, then we went to see the Red Sox beat the Angels! I have no plans for the rest of the long weekend which is just fine with me.
Well, I am thinking of you guys Torn and 60. Torn, that was interesting that the woman texted you. Good timing, it seems - at any rate we can all use all the help we can get.
60 - one day at a time. You'll be at 90 again in no time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
60, sorry to hear that you drank and feel awful. With that said, try focusing on the positive. That 90+ days of sobriety happened. I did 62 days before I screwed up and then came right back and am on Day 32 now. It's nice saying I've been sober 94 of the last 95 days and it's just a much different feeling then when I tried getting sober last year, slipped up and then just let it devolve into all my old patterns. Stay with us on here and just refocus your efforts and move on. Don't think that you just threw it all away. You may have broken the streak, but you didn't erase 3 months of sobriety.
Ready, I'm doing well. Been doing a lot of outdoors activities on this long weekend and allowing myself to sleep in, which is something I haven't done in months since I guess I associate sleeping in with being hungover. But yeah, this weekend is relatively easy since I'm out of town with my family. Next two weekends I have to go to weddings. Dreading those, but know that while I might be uncomfortable while sober at them, it'll be a lot worse if I'm uncomfortable, drink, and then regret what happened. So yeah, just enjoying sobriety and relaxation now and will really work on my sober plans for the weddings as the week goes on.
Ready, I'm doing well. Been doing a lot of outdoors activities on this long weekend and allowing myself to sleep in, which is something I haven't done in months since I guess I associate sleeping in with being hungover. But yeah, this weekend is relatively easy since I'm out of town with my family. Next two weekends I have to go to weddings. Dreading those, but know that while I might be uncomfortable while sober at them, it'll be a lot worse if I'm uncomfortable, drink, and then regret what happened. So yeah, just enjoying sobriety and relaxation now and will really work on my sober plans for the weddings as the week goes on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,776
60 thanks for sharing. We are all in it together. Let's keep going.
My AV has been very strong these last few nights. I started to meet up with people I used to know when I drank, and it made me want to drink. So now I'm avoiding them again. Not sure that's progress at all but I know it wouldn't be one drink.. One drink would drive me insane for drink number 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9....
I'm starting to visualise the av as a hungry vicious out of control thing. Giving it booze will only make it worse.
Small things and big things are better now
My AV has been very strong these last few nights. I started to meet up with people I used to know when I drank, and it made me want to drink. So now I'm avoiding them again. Not sure that's progress at all but I know it wouldn't be one drink.. One drink would drive me insane for drink number 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9....
I'm starting to visualise the av as a hungry vicious out of control thing. Giving it booze will only make it worse.
Small things and big things are better now
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Hi Trees - good visual on the AV. And it does seem like removing yourself from temptation is the best idea. We're all still so early in this process, there's plenty of time for us to build up the sober muscles before testing them.
I ate like an absolute pig yesterday and have a similar feeling this morning to drinking too much - without the hangover and curiosity of what I did last night of course - shame, regret, anger (that I don't seem to have the moderation gene). Oh well, one vice at a time.
Love three day weekends! I hope you all have a good Memorial Day.
I ate like an absolute pig yesterday and have a similar feeling this morning to drinking too much - without the hangover and curiosity of what I did last night of course - shame, regret, anger (that I don't seem to have the moderation gene). Oh well, one vice at a time.
Love three day weekends! I hope you all have a good Memorial Day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Ready, I'm there with you on the food. I've been working out a ton (10 mile run yesterday), but negating a lot of that by overeating. As you mentioned, it brings a lot of negative feelings, but realistically, they pale in comparison to that of a blackout. Nonetheless, I'm about to do another jog and try to cut down the calories today. My weight loss plan is working a bit as I notice a looser fit on all my clothes, but I have 25 pounds to lose and in my 3 months of sobriety (minus one day), I've lost 5 pounds.
Of course, the positive thing is I've now completed 14 consecutive weekends sober and for me, that's really progress. Weekends usually meant to no workouts since I'd have nasty hangovers. So nice to be up early and getting ready for a run.
Of course, the positive thing is I've now completed 14 consecutive weekends sober and for me, that's really progress. Weekends usually meant to no workouts since I'd have nasty hangovers. So nice to be up early and getting ready for a run.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Good morning all. Nothing much to report here. This weekend was completely craving free (maybe because I was eating so much ice cream?), which pleases me. Now a nice short week of work - hopefully will get some things accomplished, and it's time to start looking forward to a week off at the end of June.
Have a good week all. Hard to believe it's the end of May already.
Have a good week all. Hard to believe it's the end of May already.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Checking in. This weekend is fast approaching and wedding #1. I can't overstate how much I dislike weddings. Socially, it's just the worst for me. Highlights the fact that I'm single, don't like dancing, have issues with alcohol, etc.
My sober plan for this wedding is to borrow a car from one of my parents and drive myself to it, then just tell people I can't drink since I'm driving home. Living in NYC without a car, I never have that excuse, so that'll be helpful. The wedding is for a childhood friend and is in my home town. I'm a bit nervous about the awkwardness that will come from seeing a ton of people I haven't seen in 10+ years (I'm 29 now).
The good thing is that no matter what, it'll be over by Sunday and I can just move on. I'm pretty happy with my weight loss the last week or so and I've made a serious dent in the 20-25 pounds I need to lose (haven't stepped on a scale though). I think that after the back-to-back weekends of weddings I have coming up, I might test the dating waters again, but I can't see how on Earth I'll do that sober, so might be wise to wait a bit longer.
My sober plan for this wedding is to borrow a car from one of my parents and drive myself to it, then just tell people I can't drink since I'm driving home. Living in NYC without a car, I never have that excuse, so that'll be helpful. The wedding is for a childhood friend and is in my home town. I'm a bit nervous about the awkwardness that will come from seeing a ton of people I haven't seen in 10+ years (I'm 29 now).
The good thing is that no matter what, it'll be over by Sunday and I can just move on. I'm pretty happy with my weight loss the last week or so and I've made a serious dent in the 20-25 pounds I need to lose (haven't stepped on a scale though). I think that after the back-to-back weekends of weddings I have coming up, I might test the dating waters again, but I can't see how on Earth I'll do that sober, so might be wise to wait a bit longer.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Good morning.
Mets I think you are right, if there's no way you can see yourself doing something without drinking, might want to not do that for a while. That said, confidence is what you're looking for in that scenario, and feeling good about yourself is a great confidence booster. You might surprise yourself when you're ready dip your toe in.
60, thinking of you, hoping you're doing ok after your slip.
All is well here. Today is Day 100 for me. Makes me happy to move to the next digit in the count. I'm feeling good, strong, resolute. I know that can disappear quickly under the right conditions, so am ever-wary.
Have a good Wednesday all.
Mets I think you are right, if there's no way you can see yourself doing something without drinking, might want to not do that for a while. That said, confidence is what you're looking for in that scenario, and feeling good about yourself is a great confidence booster. You might surprise yourself when you're ready dip your toe in.
60, thinking of you, hoping you're doing ok after your slip.
All is well here. Today is Day 100 for me. Makes me happy to move to the next digit in the count. I'm feeling good, strong, resolute. I know that can disappear quickly under the right conditions, so am ever-wary.
Have a good Wednesday all.
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