nymets86

60, sorry to hear things are not going well.

Go easy on yourself this weekend and give yourself some time to relax.

ReadyOrNot123

Good morning everyone. It sounds like it has been a tough stretch for you 60, Torn, Mets. I hope it's temporary and the strain will ease up soon.

I don't have a lot going on this weekend, which is ok by me. We will be going to try out a lunch place we haven't been to yet, otherwise, no plans. I'm feeling pretty good generally speaking so am not concerned about getting through it. It will be over far too quickly, that much I know for sure.

All good thoughts for a good and sober day.

Calicofish

My dog started limping today. She had ACL repair surgery in October and today she is not weight bearing on that same leg. I suspect she has torn her meniscus. Of course, the vet is closed and it's the weekend. I happen to be visiting my parents right now, where the ortho vet is. I start my new job on Monday. There is no ortho vet where I live (3 hours away). I have no idea what my schedule is going to be once I start work.

If my dog has what I suspect, it requires surgery...again. I was just getting ahead in terms of feeling good and thinking things were starting to turn around. I know this doesn't compare to what many people are going through, but I thought I could have a little whine.

I have to work and I can't let me dog be in pain. Last time this happened, I was working and could not care for her physically due to the nature of my job. seems like I am once again in that position. If this had of happened even 2 weeks ago, I'd have been able to care for her rehabilitation.

Now I have to leave her, with my parents, again. I'm dreading the vet bill. I don't want to leave her - I don't have a choice.

Thanks for letting me whine.
CF

ReadyOrNot123

Calico, I'm sorry about your dog, poor thing. It doesn't sound like you have a choice. I hope she gets better soon.

Calicofish

Thanks Ready. I'm sitting here on the verge of tears. I am thankful that my parents are here and can take her to the vet for me and care for her. In another month they will be gone thousands of miles away for good and I will be alone again. If they were not here, with this new job of mine starting, why I'd have to quit (before even starting). I squirreled away some money with other plans for it, but now it will go to the vet. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. And also - I feel so badly for my dog because I know she is in pain. I swear she knows the instant I have some extra cash.

Did I think of drinking? It certainly crossed my mind, but it won't help and most certainly will lead to absolutely no good.

It's going to be lonely in my house.

Also guys - note, I do read this forum daily but often I am not logged on so I don't respond or send thanks. But do know that I appreciate everything.

CF

Dee74

I'm really sorry calicofish - thats a sucky chocie.

D

tornrealization

Calico, I have pets, cats. I've grown up with dogs. I care immensely about pets, and when we have them, we care for them. With a new job I'm glad you're parents are there to help. I get it, and in no way consider it whine. Pets are family.

We want hiking today. Rained all morning so walked in a mall first. Then got to the park. Had to pee after lots of tea. So snuck up a hill, then coming back hubby calls out ppl are coming. Not many ppl walk on wet trails. I start running back slipped and fell on the bridge thing, skinning my shin and knee. The ppl saw. :/

Back at hotel the AV is strong. We'd always drink. I fight the battle. Drinks, weight loss, waste of my exercise, etc. Hubby is going bonkers but he didn't drink, but was irritable the witching hours. Feeling good, we made it.he didn't pressure me and if I had said lets do it, he'd been like Great! I just reminded him he has a beer fest next weekend and To wait for that.

More hiking tomorrow.

tornrealization

I guess I should say I'm not forcing him or asking him to quit, but he tries to be better, drink less, not on weeknights, only weekends

The beginning stuff of someone who is evaluating drinking. So he goes back and forth on what he thinks he wants, and what he wants to do to support me too.

Tricky line for us to walk and figure out.

nymets86

Calico, sorry to hear about the dog.

I'm checking in here. Made it through the party completely sober. Unfortunately my anxiety over not being in a relationship was really eating at me being around all couples, so it wasn't an enjoyable evening. Better than getting hammered and wondering what I'd said the next morning.

Calicofish

Thanks Torn an NYmets.


Good going Torn. I know what it's like when you have to pee and I've been in that situation way too many times and I think I've shown my bum to a few strangers too :-)

NYmets - good job not drinking and I know absolutely what you are going through in terms of being "uncoupled". I've been to a few of those since my separation and it feels just weird and uncomfortable.

My dog appears to be a bit better this morning and putting some weight on the leg. I may be going against my better judgment, but I've decided I am bringing her home with me and just watch her this week. She will get plenty of rest with me being at my new job and maybe, just maybe this injury only needs rest. If not, well then I will get her back here and to the vets.

I still have a couple of hours to go before I leave so I can change my mind at mind at the last minute.

She's a good dog and not one prone to running and jumping when not supervised. She'll just sleep when I'm gone.

Cross fingers that I'm making the correct decision.

ReadyOrNot123

Well, it sounds like the overall news is good in terms of sobriety, that is, none of us is hungover today. Other non-drinking issues are rampant though, as with any non-drinkers. (Complete side note - one of the many thoughts I had after watching the Bruce Jenner interview was, how did he get through that without becoming a drunk? Proof, to me at least, that people are simply wired differently. If my previous patterns are any indicator, I would definitely, without a doubt, coped by drinking.)

Calico, I hope your dog feels better and doesn't need surgery.

Torn, good job on the hiking, although it doesn't sound that fun - rain and pain, what a combo. I'd take both of those over an irritable husband though, so I feel you there.

Mets, good for you. You prepared for quite some time for that party and now you know you can do it. Kudos. Get your drinking under control, it's no picnic to be attached to a drunk, so that is the best thing you can do for your future partner.

Happy Sunday all.

nymets86

Checking in here. Starting day 5 of sobriety, and the 67th day out of the last 68.

While Saturday night's birthday party wasn't a whole lot of fun for me, it's nice that I'm not filled with embarrassment/regret/anxiety over the events of Saturday night, which would have been the case if I'd gotten hammered at the birthday party.

Time to take on this sober week and work on my diet/exercise plan.

ReadyOrNot123

Hello. Good job Mets, you're right back at it. That's easier said than done,

Just checking in quickly as I had a long day made even longer with a crappy commute, so I'm pretty irritable. Oh well tomorrow is another day.

tornrealization

Change is a challenge, for lots of people. I usually get kinda excited as I can get bored easily. But I have too much. Quitting drinking. Exercising. Eating. New birth control pills. New boss. New director. Now new cubicle in the future.

My coworker is trying to pull off ass kissing like I've never seen, and on top of the many changes, wants to completely change our work habits to please other people. I ask him to just slow down, they don't even know what we do, but he's off having all these meet ups and hanging in their cubes, gaaaaahhhhh! I don't even know what is being said or decided. I don't like it.

My old boss let me do some homework at work when we are slow. That's gone whilst I lern new boss. Glad Im on last class. Got a low B on my crappy paper, so got an A for my class. I'm happy.

So stress, lots of it, and yes I'm walking a lot, not helping. Drinking won't either. Leads to defeated and powerless feeling. :/ .

I also feel trapped. If I look at other jobs, and get one, I have to pay back tuition help. That's $$$ I don't have set aside. Trapped a year. Hoping it works out instead. Well time for bed.

tornrealization

I guess these problems aren't that bad, now that I read it. Just whining. I need to start doing gratitude again, not ignore the good things. So I'm grateful for having a job, my home, my husband and cats. Making my bed all warm, ha, and hairy, they are shedding.

nymets86

Torn, I don't think your problems sound like whining at all. I sometimes like to joke about "first world problems" for stuff like this. As opposed to the problems of those less fortunate living in third-world countrie and struggling for food, clean water and shelter, being upset about what you describe seems sort of absurd....my point isn't to diminish your issues, just maybe try to give you a new light to think about it. Lots of what you describe with graduate school and being tied to my current job due to partial tuition reimbursement I can relate to. Being in grad school and working full time is VERY hard. With that said, sometimes I just have to tell myself it's a "first-world problem" I love right now that I am not adding alcohol to that mix making the balancing act all that much more challenging.

Yesterday was a good day for me. After class, I was invited to head to a bar by some classmates to have a few beers and watch the end of the hockey games still going on. Just said that I needed to get home, and that was that. No real excuse needed. I didn't feel like it was a good time for me to go and try to drink just club soda, so just made the smart decision and left. Very happy o made that decision as had I gone and gotten drunk, woulda been terrible this morning, and had I gone and stuck to my club soda, I still would have gotten home late and thrown off my bedtime/wake up cycle, which I've really gotten down to a much more regular routine than when I was actively drinking.

I hope everyone else is doing well. I have Friday off this week since I'm going out of town for the weekend with my brother, so this is sort of like my Wednesday. Yay

ReadyOrNot123

Torn, I hope that once the uncertainty with the job settles down, some of the anxiety will subside. A lot of unrest comes from the not knowing. It's awful to feel trapped too. I hear you on walking not helping - I have been doing so much of that and I'm kind of sick of it.

Mets, good for you. Temptation is hard enough to deal with when you don't see it coming, when you do, best to avoid it altogether.

Today is a work from home day, so I'm pleased that I can get some things done without a lot of distractions. It's a big week for me from a productivity standpoint (things I really must get done and have been pushing off). Deadlines approach. I was feeling good about what I accomplished yesterday as well. Work is hard, it's harder when I make it harder by procrastinating to such a degree (like I'm doing right now??? haha!)

On that note, Happy Tuesday all.

nymets86

Ready, I hope you had a productive day at home. I have that luxury as well, but I'll be honest and admit that I abused that luxury and used it an an excuse to go out late and not have to worry about smelling bad the next morning.

I have a commute of under 20 minutes and I take the subway, so I sort of could get away with it whenever, but the nights before a work from home day for me were always late nights. Since getting sober (minus one day), I haven't worked from home.

Tonight has been a different kind of challenge for me. Got home from class, watched the end of an exciting mets game which they lost (arg!), but now just completely unable to fall asleep. I think it's the fact that the temperature is getting a lot warmer and unlike most people, I hate this. I should really just move to Canada. Love it there.

Anyway, rather than drink myself to sleep, I'm just going to watch some more videos on YouTube and if I fall asleep, great. If not, then I know I can get through the the workday tomorrow while very tired better than I could while hungover.

My heart goes out to Archie Bradley on the Diamondbacks. I'm not a religious person at all, but I still got down on one knee while watching that replay. Scary, scary, scary stuff.

Hope everyone is well!

nymets86

Despite getting little sleep, it's nice waking up without a hangover. ! and waking up between 6:00 and 6:30, which I'm trying to establish as a set time frame. Really frustrating that I couldn't fall asleep until about 2AM last night and not sure why that happened. I worked out yesterday morning, and had a full and busy day.

Either way, I don't have class tonight, so will be nice getting to go to the gym after work and then be in bed by the 8th inning of the ball game tonight.

ReadyOrNot123

I saw that replay this morning, and they say he's ok, although the picture of him looked pretty horrible. I don't know how you go back and pitch again after something like that though, but they do it. It's a different mindset. Sorry you didn't get enough sleep. I envy the 20 minute commute. Mine is an hour and 40 minutes, on a good day. At one point we didn't have the luxury of WFH, so I used to do it 5 days a week and it was draining. A couple/three days a week is quite tolerable.

Last night was odd, I was filling my glass with diet coke to have with dinner, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I should be adding vodka to it, and when I say adding vodka, I mean pouring in the vodka like I was doing with the soda - not a splash or even a shot or two. I had the most intense craving. After about two minutes it passed but it was weird and it took my completely by surprise. I could taste it, I could smell it. I guess the AV decides to show itself whenever it wants under any circumstances.

But I'm sober and hangover free, and plan to stay that way.

Happy Wednesday all.