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Class of February 2015 Part 3

Old 07-04-2015, 08:44 AM
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Ha Mets, I've been a bride and I know lots of them - some are more interested in the pictures than the day (or at least they get equal weight, no pun intended). Good for you- nothing motivates as much as success. Have fun at the party - it's great that people are getting used to seeing you not drink, one less stressor to deal with.

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today, nothing major, probably still the medication making me blah, even though I'm not exhausted today so I'm happy about that.

Happy 4th of July!
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Old 07-04-2015, 04:04 PM
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Enjoy the weekend everyone

D
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Old 07-05-2015, 05:20 AM
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Ready, I hope the medication is starting to work and the side effect are subsiding. I also hope you and anyone else reading this from the U.S. had a great and sober 4th of July.

I had a really enjoyable evening and went to a huge BBQ with my family. I was the DD, but nobody else in my family is an alcoholic, and while they'd all had something to drink, they all seemed totally fine to drive. Either way, it was just a big relief for me not having to spend so much mental energy moderating my intake. At this event, which I've been going to since I was real young, I've definitely had some pretty drunk nights, but given it's with my family, I had managed to always avoid blackouts. In hindsight, that's really just luck more than anything else. That moderation thing is so darn hard. Last night was so much easier!

Beautiful day here in the northeast. Going to go jogging and kayaking and then head back to NYC to watch the women's World Cup finals. Go Team USA!
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Old 07-05-2015, 06:49 AM
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Good update Mets, glad you had fun. Your description of mental energy resonates with me. I don't miss all that obsessing - before, during and after.

I'm feeling good this beautiful Sunday morning, the weather is spectacular and I will turn my attention to doing the errands/chores I have put off so far this weekend. Maybe a nap later, and I will also be watching the soccer finals, rooting for the home team! My younger niece is a soccer player, and they are into it. So not big doings, but the contentment factor is high.

Happy Sunday.
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Old 07-06-2015, 03:31 AM
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Happy Monday! Feels weird saying that, but Mondays are really one time when my sobriety feels so great. I almost never drank on Sundays (can only think of two times ever actually), but it was always a day where I was battling the physical symptoms of a hangover and usually, even worse mental aspects of a massive night or two of drinking. Being up early on a Monday with no worries at all about my actions over the weekend is just such a huge relief.

By not drinking over the holiday weekend, I've now successfully navigated 20 weekends in a row while sober and am quite proud of that accomplishment. I've pretty much had every temptation/trigger thrown at me and feel like my sober plan is now much stronger than it was when I tried quitting last summer and managed a stretch of just 30 days.

I know that next weekend will present another challenge, but I have no class this week and not too many plans at all after work, so know that I need to remain vigilant this week to make sure I don't have another slip up like I did back in April.
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Old 07-06-2015, 04:50 PM
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Happy Monday indeed, I agree that it is a whole different kettle of fish when you have no residual physical issues and no mental ones either. Due to drinking at least. Was that slip really in April Mets? Wow, time flies. You should definitely be proud - you've done very well, and it didn't just happen - you worked hard and had a plan all the way. Ever vigilant...

I have a tough few weeks at work coming up, and while I hate "wishing my life away", I'll be glad when July is over. At least I'm not battling myself by being on the hamster wheel of drinking, recovering, plotting, lying and drinking again....honestly, why do people do that to themselves. Do I wish I could have an umbrella drink at an outdoor café? Yes I do. But I can't, so that's that. At this point, I seldom even think of it.

Have a good night.
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Old 07-07-2015, 05:35 AM
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Yeah, my slip was a Wednesday night in April. Still think about it quite a bit. Obviously think about that Wednesday night in February where I got hospitalized a lot more. It's just absurd that I drank so much that that I needed to be sent to the hospital. I'm a grown up. That's just unacceptable.

Anyway, I weighed myself yesterday and I'm down an additional 2 pounds. I didn't even want to get on the scale at my heaviest, but I suspect the total weight loss is about 17 pounds now. I'll be honest, I was hoping to be down 5-8 more, not just 2. I think the key is to just be more careful about portion control and eating late at night. I'm totally fine up until 5PM and have been doing Clif Bar lunches, but I do snack too much at night (gummy bears are my biggest vice) and while I thought the ponds were flying off since I'm exercising so much, I guess they haven't been.

This had me a little bummed out last night and I've been trying to rationalize that I've put on some muscle mass in my legs by doing an insane amount of workouts. I know my gut is noticeably smaller (brother's fiancé commented on it!), but I was really thinking I'd have shed more weight. Good thing is there's no timetable to losing the weight and I know can use the weight-loss excuse even longer for not drinking. I figure I need to lose 10 more pounds to get back to "normal" weight, but I really want to lose 20-30 more pounds and be considered thin.

Today is a work-from-home day for me, which in the past meant I'd go crazy and drink myself stupid the night before. Instead, I went to the gym last night (2nd time of the day) when I had a mild booze craving, and then did some chores around my apartment and got in bed to watch the Mets. They're in California, so 10PM first pitch. I fell asleep in like the 5th inning and was pleasantly surprised when I woke up in the 9th to see they'd actually scored some runs. Our pitching remains outstanding, but our offense is so lousy.

Hope everyone is doing well!
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Old 07-07-2015, 06:41 AM
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Today is a hot one, that's for sure. I'm WFH today as well, and the fan might not be enough, although I don't love air conditioning.

I got thin (relative to me) a couple of years ago, and since then have been gaining steadily, it's like I felt like I won the fight, even though I never thought I did, and then figured I could coast. Portion control is my biggest problem, across the board apparently. I sabotaged myself most when I got discouraged after thinking I was being so good and yet not seeing results. I'm trying to get on track again but it's difficult.

Duty calls, have a good Tuesday.
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Old 07-07-2015, 04:21 PM
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I'm sitting here on my couch, in my nice house in my nice neighborhood listening to kids playing outside, the ball game is on the TV, my work day is done, I'm reading some stories on SR and I'm having a moment realizing that I have a clear head, no cravings, no nasty negativity - I'm just plain content. And it feels good.
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Old 07-08-2015, 10:25 AM
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So working from home yesterday kinda stunk. It's odd, I was always hungover for WFH days, but being not hungover yesterday made me a bit stir crazy. The cable guy, as usual, didn't show up until the very end of the time slot.

I just guess I felt a little lonely and bored. It's slow at work right now, so not a whole lot to do and I just felt real off yesterday. I then went to bed at a normal hour last night and struggled mightily getting out of bed this morning since I was just feeling so down and lonely. Didn't make it to the gym.

Feeling a bit better now that I'm at work and around people. For this evening, I'm going to go to the gym when I get home and watch the Mets game while on the elliptical (4PM start our time here since it's a day game in San Francisco). I'm then going to work on an optional take-home final exam for my summer class that I finished. Professor told me I'd earned a B+, which was the highest possible grade and that a good final paper would bump me to an A. This grading process is fairly common I've found in grad school. I was thinking of just taking the B+, but I do want that A and have a few days left before the deadline.

Anyway, chugging along here with sobriety. Despite my lonliness/depression yesterday, I didn't really think much of drinking at all. Had a small craving Monday night knowing Tuesday was WFH and I woke up Tuesday feeling great, but it all went down hill.

Have a nice day everyone
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Old 07-08-2015, 03:38 PM
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Mets, probably the disappointment at the weight loss didn't help either. Even if not, sometimes the doldrums hit, for no good reason. The lack of drinking thoughts is a good sign though.

Nothing much going on here, good or bad. One day at a time!
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Old 07-08-2015, 04:04 PM
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It's important to remember we can still have days that aren't awesome, I think?
the difference now is our down days only last a day, not a week or a month

D
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Old 07-08-2015, 04:44 PM
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Yeah, I'm already feeling a bit better. Didn't really have any energy at the gym and am gonna just get in bed now and allow myself to relax. Not quite sure why I'm in this funk, but it's certainly a lot better than waking up with horrible hangovers and worrying non-stop about what I might have said or done while intoxicated.

I think in addition to the weight loss amount being lower than I'd hoped for, I'm also spending way too much time looking at my investment portfolio, which given what's going on in Greece and China, is taking an absolute beating. Obviously, I'm extremely fortunate to be able to save enough to have investments, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that I've been losing (on paper) the equivalent of a full paycheck like every other day as the market swoons and my gains from the last year or so are being erased. I know it's impossible to time the market, so I'm not going to panic and sell. In fact, I'm trying to look at this on the bright side and use the deflated prices as an opportunity to take some money from my checking account and buy more ETFs.

Tomorrow will be a new day. I'll try not to open my trading account and I won't step on a scale, will just look in the mirror and see how much healthier I look and then be happy putting on my work clothes that now fit properly, even a tad loose and not that crappy feeling of everything being too tight and just dying to get home at the end of the day to put on something that fits.
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Old 07-09-2015, 05:36 PM
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Hello - what a long day. Mets, having lived through that godawful 2008 time period, having lost a substantial portion of my investments, that the stock market recovers (and then some). Your best served by not looking for a while. I hope you had a better day today.

I had my mid-year review today and it went surprisingly well considering my awful attitude. Guess they are taking what they can get, good thing, because I'm not terribly good at being phony and it's a hard job, why pretend otherwise.

Other than that, I'm so ready for the weekend. No major plans, but by Thursday nights I am simply spent. I have a ton to do tomorrow, so will hopefully be productive.
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Old 07-10-2015, 03:20 PM
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Was it really just a couple days ago that I was waxing all poetic about my contentment? ha, what a lousy day today to overcome that emotion...but even while I was griping about it in my mind, it occurred to me that I didn't once think I needed to drink over it. So I'm pleased with that.

I truly am glad it's Friday. Monday is going to be a living hell, but that's two days away.

Hope everyone is doing well. Would love to hear from 60, Trees and Torn.
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Old 07-11-2015, 06:21 AM
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Ready, sorry to hear the contentment is over.

Things are going alright here. It's continuing to be s lot easier for me not to drink on weekends than during the week. Really not quite sure why that's the case, but it's a bit of a relief to not have any cravings on the weekends. I think it's just the lonliness/boredom that sets in a bit more on weekdays.

Anyway, now halfway through weekend #21, which is a great feeling.
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Old 07-11-2015, 02:45 PM
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I must have missed it Ready - whats happening Monday?

D
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Old 07-11-2015, 03:05 PM
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Just work stuff Dee, Friday we discovered an issue and the fall out will require a lot of time to recover from - and since we're so short staffed (thank you Corporate USA) I'll have to be front and center in the fixing and the explaining, even though I didn't have a part in any of it. I'm dreading it, but it's nothing I can't handle - perhaps "living hell" was a titch dramatic, lol. Thank you for asking!

Today I am not at work, the weather is perfect and it was a good day. So I'll put off dreading Monday for another 24 hours or so.
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Old 07-11-2015, 03:47 PM
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enjoy the heck out of the weekend Ready

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Old 07-13-2015, 04:57 AM
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Ready, I hope your Monday isn't as stressful as you are fearing it will be. Either way, just being sober will be good accomplishment and something to be proud of. Maybe keep thinking about how great it feels you have this long sober stretch going if you find yourself feeling down, or overwhelmed at work.

I just finished up my 21st consecutive sober weekend. Played tennis with some friends yesterday, then some golf, then went for a jog. Just felt like a super healthy day and was so nice doing all that while hungover.

I slept in a bit later than I wanted to this AM, but about to do a really quick trip to the gym and then go to work. Planning to do the gym again this afternoon since I have no plans tonight and want to keep occupied. Fortunately I have several work-related things this week that will have me driving around the tri-state areas for meetings. Very much looking forward to it. Did something similar in early February (I do this about every 6 months) and I was dealing with horrible hangovers the whole time. Made driving so unenjoyable and then the meetings were all less productive than they could have been cuz all I wanted to do was get home and get to bed and I was afraid people could smell the alcohol on me.

So yeah, this week I'm looking forward to and then I'm off to Europe!
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