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Old 11-27-2014, 06:51 PM
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Hi ladies...

Happy thanksgiving to all celebrating!

Bebetter....way to go on the 5k and meeting your writing goal! I'm so proud of you! Way to rock your sobriety:-)

I had a good day...like you Bebetter....I was surrounded by wine, beer, and homemade liquors, but it didn't get me down...especially at the end of the day when people were getting ****** and slurring their words. I was so happy to not have the driving worry, and I know my Black Friday shopping plans won't be ruined with a hangover:-)

Yep...much happier this way!

Well...off to sleep so I can be ready to fight the mobs at the stores:-)
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Old 11-30-2014, 06:44 PM
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Hi moms....

Hope everyone is well. I had a good few days off enjoying the holiday...did some Christmas shopping, and some baking. Below is this weeks cupcake selection. Seeing as we got our first snow of the season and Christmas season was officially kicked off, I went with a gingerbread cupcake with brown sugar buttercream...was very good!:-). My whole house smelled like the holidays.

Back to work tomorrow, but honestly...I could use the rest, and will probably get more there;-)

Well...chat later
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Old 12-01-2014, 11:49 AM
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Wow, Mondays are brutal after Thanksgiving! Anyone else tired? And now homework tonight! Ugh.

Hubby is home from rehab. We had a great time at a NBA game and in the Northwest. Great times seeing my mom. She no longer bothers me. Maybe I have changed so much that's she's just nice to me.

I hope you all has great holidays!
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Old 12-01-2014, 12:06 PM
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Hi ladies,

Just a quick check in - hope you are all doing well. My due date is this Sunday. Saw Dr this morning and was 3cm dilated. Because of my age they won't let me go past due date so we are scheduled to be induced at 6am on Friday. I am really hoping she comes on her own as I was hoping to be able to experience a natural (non-induced) labor. My first daughter was induced as well a day after her due date. Anyway, will keep you all posted - wish us luck
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Old 12-01-2014, 12:46 PM
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Good luck Ladybug:-). Prayers with you and your baby!!!
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Old 12-01-2014, 04:30 PM
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How exciting, Lady! And a beautiful new house too (saw the pictures on FB). You look amazing at 38/39 weeks. (I swear, I was bigger than you at 20 weeks with my kids... the curse of being short and liking ice cream too much).

I'm really rooting for your baby to come early so you don't have to go through an induction. I know they can be more painful... I'm also hoping you have as easy an adjustment as possible to having a newborn in the house again. It was hard for me, but not nearly as hard as the first time around! (((hugs))) keep us posted!!
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Ladybug2 (12-01-2014)
Old 12-01-2014, 06:22 PM
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Congratulations Lady! We're so, so happy for you. That little one is coming into such a place of love. Please keep us posted!

I have appointment to get my IUD out tomorrow morning. Here goes round 2. I'll be waiting to hear from you Lady to let me know how much things change with a toddler and a newborn.

I'm so glad your hubs is home LucyG and even more happy to know you all had a great weekend!

Things are good here, Thanksgiving is hectic. My very best friend was in town with her whole family and she's really into planned activities, I am not. I usually do one activity/day with my daughter, not 3 or 4. So I was SO tired by the time she left. We talked a little about my drinking and that it was a long time coming to give it up. She said she's proud of me, of course, but she was non-responsive overall in talking about the drinking. I think it likely makes her a bit uncomfortable, considering we had a major falling out due to a drunken episode of mine at her wedding.

I had my 10 months on the 26th.... I still have yet to go back to a meeting to get a chip, even though I want one.

I don't know where I am with my sobriety. I am certainly not going to drink...but I'm feeling lazy about it, does that make sense? Do I need to be more active in my commitment?

Feeling a little blah....
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Old 12-01-2014, 07:32 PM
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Hi all...

Oh Lady...congrats on being in the home stretch! So excited and can't wait to hear exciting news from you! Too bad we couldn't have a virtual baby shower:-).
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Old 12-01-2014, 09:08 PM
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That's a great idea Dolly! I'd love to throw her a shower. It's got to be done telepathically. Xox

I brought hubby to my Alanon meeting tonight. If any of you want to check one out it's amazing. It teaches you how to live. If you have been affected by an alcoholic in childhood or at anytime. His dad drank and so did mine. I have my literature and I find I prefer them to AA meetings since drinking for me isn't a thought right now. Maybe I will go to an AA meeting if I feel like drinking. I think I prefer Alanon since it's mostly women.

Hope was our topic tonight. Hope. What a nice thought.

What are you hopeful for?
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Old 12-02-2014, 04:21 AM
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Thanks ladies! BeBetter, thank you for the compliment, but I have gained almost 40 lbs and lately have been eating nothing but ice cream, pie, cookies, chocolate haha. I have to admit I am feeling very excited, yet extremely anxious about this birth. A little of it is worrying about what can go wrong - I'm 43 so no spring chicken. I just hope everything goes smoothly and she is healthy. Another part of my anxiety is related to what BeBetter touched upon - having a toddler (4.5) AND newborn. It has just been the 3 of us for so long and I am a little worried about how that all will change. I just hope I have the strength, love and patience to take care of a newborn and still be there for my daughter. Women do it every day, I know, with more than 2 kids so I am sure it will all fall into place

Thanks again for all your well wishes
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Old 12-02-2014, 09:18 AM
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Eeeeek - good luck lady! I'm routing for you let us know how you get on and sending you loads of hugs xxxxxxx
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Old 12-05-2014, 04:23 PM
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Thinking of you, Lady!! I hope your little girl comes soon (or, even better, is already here!).

I had this craving today that was so visceral. I was just driving my daughter around trying to get her to nap, and had an incredible desire for an IPA. Lately, I've been having more and more of those thoughts creeping in that tell me that it's been so long, and I've been so fine with my sobriety, that surely I can have a beer now and then. And I'd really like to believe that, but I know there's something else going on. I wonder if some of it is wanting to reward myself for all my self-achievements in November. I wonder if it's feeling like no matter how hard I work out, I can't seem to shake a pound or an inch off my body (I have no motivation to change my diet, which, while is mostly healthy, is full of ice cream and other treats, so basically I eat all the calories I burn), and that's discouraging. I wonder if it's winter coming and the low level feelings of seasonal affective hitting me. I also wonder if it's the disappointment that I'm not pregnant, and lately, have had really strong feelings that I never will be again. I know that sounds epic, but I've just had these weird feelings come over me that this is it for me, and that if I keep trying, I will keep losing. The last long-term sobriety I had was before and during my first daughter's pregnancy. I was sober for 9 months before getting pregnant with her, and then stayed sober until she was 11 months old, so what is that, 2.5 years? And I guess I kind of hoped that a pregnancy would come along and help me out a little in this stint of sobriety. I realize that sounds so.... pathetic. But this time last year, I was pregnant with the one I miscarried, and I thought I would be again by now... As I go on and on about this, I'm really thinking that it's what's giving me the inkling to drink. Like, **** this. Why be so "good" when I feel like there's no payback? Which is ridiculously childish. What am I doing this for anyway? I should be able to see the payback in my life. It's all right in front of me. It's startling to realize that alcohol is probably such a part of my chemistry that it will always look like an attractive option to some degree.
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Old 12-05-2014, 10:01 PM
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Unfortunately Bebetter I think that's going to be all of our realities with drinking. I will always want a beer. But I like my sober life better. The year we tried having our 2nd child was so frustrating. I miscarried twice and finally it stuck. But she had health problems. Open heart surgery. I really feel for you. I was obsessed with pregnancy. I'm sorry you are struggling with it:-(

We went to a Christmas tree lighting tonight in the rain. It was so fun. Kids, music and Santa. I love Christmas this year. Hubby is so lovely sober. I'm getting to know him again.

Sweet dreams loves xox
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Old 12-07-2014, 04:53 AM
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Thanks for the support, Lulu. I'm sorry you went through so much to have your second child. She had open heart surgery as an infant? How scary! I'm glad the doctors figured out she needed it, though... so often, heart problems in infants go undiscovered.... <3

I'm having mid-cycle bleeding. WTF. Never in my life have I had it before, and now...my cycles are totally messed up and have been since the summer. I'm really sad right now.
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Old 12-07-2014, 08:33 AM
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Bebetter- they discovered her heart defect at my 6 month ultrasound. It was awful. I also bled when pregnant. My pregnancy was worrisome. But she is now perfect! She had her surgery at 21 months. Thank god she was so young and doesn't remember. My hubby and I have been through so many lessons in life. We were told she was going to have Down syndrome based on her heart condition but she was the 20 percent who didn't. We had decided to love her and keep her regardless. Sometimes having kids is a struggle but so worth the struggle!!!! I always got pregnant straight away, especially with my first. But the older you get the less good eggs you have:-( it's just reality.

We got our tree yesterday. No stopping at the local brewery! Our tradition is broken. Yeah! And guess what? No grumpiness. It was awesome and easy. Can you imagine that?

Happy Sunday!!!!
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Old 12-07-2014, 05:47 PM
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Hi moms...

Checking in after a hectic weekend. Feel like all I do is run around on weekends until I collapse in bed at night. Now I have the added chore of moving that damn elf on the shelf of ours at night! Ugh, don't know how many times I am just about asleep when I realize I haven't moved him and I have to trudge back downstairs:-)

Daughter was sick today...sore throat, sore ear etc. no fever, so that's good...hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Bebetter...sorry you are dealing with cycle issues. My cycle seems to be getting shorter...down to 25 days, so i must not be making as many eggs. However, that is just fine because I do not want another baby...definitely done there. Almost 44 and no way I am going down the infant road again:-)

Hubby even recently had a vasectomy, and even though he has gotten the first "all clear" indication from the doctor after his follow up, we are going to send him for another check just to be sure there are no live swimmers:-). I am so paranoid about pregnancy though, that I think I will still be a nervous wreck having unprotected sex for the first time since my daughters conception...how nuts is that?

Well...time to indulge in a cupcake with tea...chat later girls:-)
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Old 12-12-2014, 08:49 AM
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Good Morning Ladies!

Haven't checked in in awhile. I'm sober. Mentally, I'm all over the place.

We're only partially through 3 weeks of heavy travel for my husband. He's in London now, home tomorrow and back on a plane Monday. I feel terribly lonely. The time of year has me nostalgic and feeling romantic and no one to share it with. I'm loving the time with my daughter, of course, but feel lonely all the same. I had a thought last night, for a split second, how great it would be to have a bottle of wine to keep me company. That's the thinking that creeps in. Why does drinking alone make one feel like 'I'm doing something.' Like drinking is an activity?

I wrote an email to my husband about being lonely and he never responded. Obviously it wasn't meant to hurt my feelings but would have been nice to wake up to an email from him, with reassuring sentiments....

One of my dear friends is in town this weekend and it feels more like work than a relief. I feel like isolating. So, I guess its better to have him here. Between the isolating feeling and the lonliness, that's two parts relapse right? I glimpse the guilt I'd feel and its enough to keep me from drinking.

How is everyone? Any news on the bundle of joy?

Slow day at work and leaving early...would love to hear from you all.
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Old 12-12-2014, 05:30 PM
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Babs-So sorry about your loneliness. That is how many people do relapse. Just remember that it's so much better in life sober. Watch a fun movie. I'm watching Christmas vacation tonight after I take care of two doggies.

When my hubby was in rehab for 3 months I had some lonely times but going to meetings really helped. Just having those connections. Human contact. I read recently that sometimes we can get more out of being with strangers than our own spouses and friends. Spiritual awakenings even.

My love to you! I hope you hear from your hubby soon. That always eases the loneliness I think.

Let us know:-) Happy Friday

10 months and going strong!!!!
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Old 12-12-2014, 06:57 PM
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I'm here, checking in lots.

Babs - I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your husband gone. I know what you mean - it's a cozy time of year, and it would feel harsh to go through it alone. He'll be back for the holidays, it sounds? You may not feel it, but you sound very strong in your sobriety.

Dolly - don't even google pregnant after a vasectomy - I'm sure you'll find loads of "oops" stories! I love that you're taking every precaution... I don't know what's up with me, but I'm pretty sure I'm not ovulating this cycle, and in the short-term, that's probably for the best (see below).

My mother-in-law is not doing well. It's a long story, but basically her heart is failing. We're going down to visit them in FL over Christmas - just bought the tickets a few days ago. I'm not looking forward to the trip, but it will be okay. But I don't really want to be in the beginning of a pregnancy, because I sometimes get anxiety flying, and I'd like to be able to take a Xanax if I need it. Last time we were in FL, I got completely trashed with my father-in-law the night before we were flying home. That's a pretty common thing for me to do, because I get anxious about the flight. I'm not actually afraid to fly. I really enjoy being in the sky once we're up. I just hate the time before, and when they close the door on the airplane, I feel trapped. Claustrophobic. So I'll definitely be packing some Xanax and my essential oils in case the triggers arise. It's going to be a tough trip as it is, with his mom sick and my panic about their being a pool practically in the house. I worry so much about the girls falling into it. Ugh.... Don't even want to think about that right now....
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Old 12-14-2014, 08:18 AM
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Bebetter- So sorry about your MIL. So sad. And traveling under those circumstances is super difficult. I too am a nervous flier. I can't believe I took that trip across county by myself and the kids last summer. It was brutal but I had to prove to myself I could do it. Hubby wasn't going to stop me from vacation just because he was in rehab!!! I think you will be just fine. Safe travels. I will be thinking of you. Xox
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