Moms and Mums Club Part 11
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Hey all,
Just checking in because I somehow have 3 minutes of free time! Nothing much new going on here. I've been really thankful for my sobriety lately. I don't think I ever could have accomplished the things I've been doing recently. I've been working on my 5k time for the little run I signed up for next week, and I am so proud of myself for knocking out a few treadmill sessions of 3 miles in 25 minutes (I'm not even close to that speed on real land...). I'm also closing in on 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo - just 10,000 to go by the end of November. I know if I were drinking, I would have derailed myself a while back on both of these goals. I would have spent every night with my wine rather than writing, and I would have skipped out on morning gym time with mild hangovers 4 days a week.
I wanted to chime in on girl bullying... my girl is just in kindergarten, but I see the start of it already. All this "I'm not friends with you because you are friends with HER," kinds of bullsh!t. At Daisy's last night, my daughter pulled some crap herself. She and a friend were talking about a playdate they have on Friday, and another little girl said "I want to have a playdate with you too!" and my daughter turned to her and said, in a mean sing-song "You're not invited! You're not invited." I was appalled. I told her to apologize, and she wouldn't. I pulled her away from the group and told her, in a low and serious voice, that if she didn't apologize, her playdate would be cancelled. She cried. Yes, folks, I made my child cry in front of her friends. Tough sh!t. My daughter is not going to treat people like that. I then told her I knew she was strong enough to apologize, and she pulled herself together and gave the little girl a very nice apology. I was super proud, and I could tell my daughter was too. It felt awful, but I think kids need to be taught how to treat others. Being mean comes naturally. Being nice takes work, sometimes.
Just checking in because I somehow have 3 minutes of free time! Nothing much new going on here. I've been really thankful for my sobriety lately. I don't think I ever could have accomplished the things I've been doing recently. I've been working on my 5k time for the little run I signed up for next week, and I am so proud of myself for knocking out a few treadmill sessions of 3 miles in 25 minutes (I'm not even close to that speed on real land...). I'm also closing in on 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo - just 10,000 to go by the end of November. I know if I were drinking, I would have derailed myself a while back on both of these goals. I would have spent every night with my wine rather than writing, and I would have skipped out on morning gym time with mild hangovers 4 days a week.
I wanted to chime in on girl bullying... my girl is just in kindergarten, but I see the start of it already. All this "I'm not friends with you because you are friends with HER," kinds of bullsh!t. At Daisy's last night, my daughter pulled some crap herself. She and a friend were talking about a playdate they have on Friday, and another little girl said "I want to have a playdate with you too!" and my daughter turned to her and said, in a mean sing-song "You're not invited! You're not invited." I was appalled. I told her to apologize, and she wouldn't. I pulled her away from the group and told her, in a low and serious voice, that if she didn't apologize, her playdate would be cancelled. She cried. Yes, folks, I made my child cry in front of her friends. Tough sh!t. My daughter is not going to treat people like that. I then told her I knew she was strong enough to apologize, and she pulled herself together and gave the little girl a very nice apology. I was super proud, and I could tell my daughter was too. It felt awful, but I think kids need to be taught how to treat others. Being mean comes naturally. Being nice takes work, sometimes.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey Ladies, I'm back - need to sort myself out again - I got trashed last night and was my worst possible self - oh and my motherinlaw who's staying with us got front row seats 
. So now I have a sprained ankle (fell down the stairs) amongst other bruises and am feeling totally horrendous. So here I go again, it's time to do this properly!! Eugh!!
Xx
. So now I have a sprained ankle (fell down the stairs) amongst other bruises and am feeling totally horrendous. So here I go again, it's time to do this properly!! Eugh!! Xx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
It's just so bloody frustrating - it's not like I've not been down this road before - I know it's only a matter of time when I drink until it gets out of hand and I don't know how many times I need to go through this before it settles in my thick head not to drink. I've seriously fallen out with myself today so stupid!!
Rant over xx
so stupid!! Rant over xx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
It's just so bloody frustrating - it's not like I've not been down this road before - I know it's only a matter of time when I drink until it gets out of hand and I don't know how many times I need to go through this before it settles in my thick head not to drink. I've seriously fallen out with myself today so stupid!!
Rant over xx
so stupid!! Rant over xx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Hey JustSarah! It doesn't take much to bring me back to that place, I know exactly how you're feeling and the pit of guilt that you're feeling. It's really hard. And we all have to learn the lesson about our limitations, sometimes multiple times.
How are things in the house today? How are you planning to address your mother in law? How are things with your husband and kiddos? How has the drinking been over the last few weeks? I only ask all of these questions because I think they are ways we can help get you through these tough experiences and prevent them from happening.
I'm around most of the day.
Big hugs to you.
XO
How are things in the house today? How are you planning to address your mother in law? How are things with your husband and kiddos? How has the drinking been over the last few weeks? I only ask all of these questions because I think they are ways we can help get you through these tough experiences and prevent them from happening.
I'm around most of the day.
Big hugs to you.
XO
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey Babs - how are you? How's the little one?
As for today well I have apologized profusely and they seem ok - my hubs mum has been cool and said to forget about it - she quit drinking last year and has said she can help which is nice. Lately my drinking has picked up - mainly due to boredom - also there has been a big shift in my relationship that I'm not overly happy about - hubby is THE man who goes out to work and I'm THE wifey sat at home with the youngest - it's tedious and the job search is taking forever. I guess I used to feel equal but now not so much. I don't feel like we're connecting either lately and he's the only one I have here - so it can get a bit isolating.
Anyways - since we've got here I haven't really taken my sobriety seriously but I'm ready to do it again now. Think I'm going to check out a meeting for the first time next week - I've found one round the corner that I can walk to once my ankles better - damn it's so sore - I can't say anything though as its my own fault and if get little sympathy from the hubby - he has zero tolerance to me and my drinking - which probably adds fuel to the fire.
Anyways - it's coming up to 8pm so I'm ready for a bath then early night.
Hope you're well - congrats on Sticking with your sobriety - any tips, send them my way
xx
As for today well I have apologized profusely and they seem ok - my hubs mum has been cool and said to forget about it - she quit drinking last year and has said she can help which is nice. Lately my drinking has picked up - mainly due to boredom - also there has been a big shift in my relationship that I'm not overly happy about - hubby is THE man who goes out to work and I'm THE wifey sat at home with the youngest - it's tedious and the job search is taking forever. I guess I used to feel equal but now not so much. I don't feel like we're connecting either lately and he's the only one I have here - so it can get a bit isolating.
Anyways - since we've got here I haven't really taken my sobriety seriously but I'm ready to do it again now. Think I'm going to check out a meeting for the first time next week - I've found one round the corner that I can walk to once my ankles better - damn it's so sore - I can't say anything though as its my own fault and if get little sympathy from the hubby - he has zero tolerance to me and my drinking - which probably adds fuel to the fire.
Anyways - it's coming up to 8pm so I'm ready for a bath then early night.
Hope you're well - congrats on Sticking with your sobriety - any tips, send them my way
xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Sarah - I have been thinking so much about you the past few weeks. When I come here, I keep hoping for an update on you! I'm so sorry everything spun out of control again, and feel really bad that you have a sprained ankle.
You are seeing me on my third major attempt at sobriety. I wouldn't want anyone to think that I came here one day and Tada! 17 months sobriety like that. Oh no... I've been where you are multiple times. And I've done the daily "tomorrow I won't drink," and failed for longer than I'd care to admit. You CAN do this again, starting at day 1 again, and we're still all here for you. I'm so glad to see you again....
You are seeing me on my third major attempt at sobriety. I wouldn't want anyone to think that I came here one day and Tada! 17 months sobriety like that. Oh no... I've been where you are multiple times. And I've done the daily "tomorrow I won't drink," and failed for longer than I'd care to admit. You CAN do this again, starting at day 1 again, and we're still all here for you. I'm so glad to see you again....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Nice job Bebetter on training your daughter about playing nice. That's usually all it takes!
Just Sarah- welcome back! So lovely to hear from you:-). I just read back my first few posts. I had not a clue how I was going to stick with my sobriety at first. What I did was keep coming on here when I had concerns. And day after day i felt better. I think it's awesome your MIL just stopped drinking. That's how AA started. Two professional men who turned out drunks and then they helped each other to stay sober.
Keep coming back, it works!!! Finally I understand that slogan!!! Ha
I'm 9 months sober now!!! And skinny:-)
Just Sarah- welcome back! So lovely to hear from you:-). I just read back my first few posts. I had not a clue how I was going to stick with my sobriety at first. What I did was keep coming on here when I had concerns. And day after day i felt better. I think it's awesome your MIL just stopped drinking. That's how AA started. Two professional men who turned out drunks and then they helped each other to stay sober.
Keep coming back, it works!!! Finally I understand that slogan!!! Ha
I'm 9 months sober now!!! And skinny:-)
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi all,
Sarah...I'm glad to see you back! I had wondered how you were doing. I'm sorry you have struggled and slipped, but happy you are back and going to keep fighting! Is your hubby still gone a lot with work? I know boredom can be a killer:-(
Anyway...we are here everyday for you!
Bebetter...I wish more moms were like you and took a proactive approach early on to ensure their child knew the right and wrong ways to treat others. I know your little girl will grow up to be a kind and compassionate teen and adult thanks to your setting a great example! I tip my hat to you my dear:-)
Sarah...I'm glad to see you back! I had wondered how you were doing. I'm sorry you have struggled and slipped, but happy you are back and going to keep fighting! Is your hubby still gone a lot with work? I know boredom can be a killer:-(
Anyway...we are here everyday for you!
Bebetter...I wish more moms were like you and took a proactive approach early on to ensure their child knew the right and wrong ways to treat others. I know your little girl will grow up to be a kind and compassionate teen and adult thanks to your setting a great example! I tip my hat to you my dear:-)
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey mums - awwwww thank you so much! I always get such a warm feeling off you when I come back here (like the hug I so need) so thanks for the support. Night 3 of my hubby been on the couch - eeeegh! We're supposed to be going to a safari park today - I think I'm going to say my ankles too sore - I can't face the faux niceness he treats me with when we're in company! More than anything I'm just bored of it! So maybe they can all go off together and leave me at home - there's a meeting on not too far from here that I could hobble to. Failing that I could just go to the beach without the kids and chill - my tan could do with a top up in anycase 
Anyways - the baby's awake so I should get up n help out - hubs has gone the gym early (it's not even 7 yet) it'd be nice to ever have that option!
I'll check in again later - hope you're all good.
P.s my eldest lad is nearly 5 and some of his kids at school are nasty too - unfortunately he seems to be on the receiving end a lot. Nice to know other parents out there have good values too when it comes to this xx
Anyways - the baby's awake so I should get up n help out - hubs has gone the gym early (it's not even 7 yet) it'd be nice to ever have that option!
I'll check in again later - hope you're all good.
P.s my eldest lad is nearly 5 and some of his kids at school are nasty too - unfortunately he seems to be on the receiving end a lot
. Nice to know other parents out there have good values too when it comes to this xx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey mums - so I woke up in a funk but went to the safari park and had a great time - met a really friendly giraffe hubby's also coming round n seems more relaxed which is better - still got the avo to go but am feeling more positive. My ankles giving me less grief and I've splashed out on a new journal to write my efforts in .
Will check in later - day 2 here we go - hope everyone's ok today xx
hubby's also coming round n seems more relaxed which is better - still got the avo to go but am feeling more positive. My ankles giving me less grief and I've splashed out on a new journal to write my efforts in . Will check in later - day 2 here we go - hope everyone's ok today xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
What a nice day. It's wet outside and just took my newly 16 year old son out to lunch just the two of us. It's so easy with him. It's always been nice to be around him. I feel so thankful to have such a grounded, kind and unselfish son. His father in many ways can learn from him. It's as if he's the dad and my hubby is my teenage son. I think it's soon going to change for hubby though if he can give up pot and alcohol for good. I think he's on his way. I pray to God that he can learn his ways.
I now understand how people find God. It's happened for me. The higher power. Even when I was a child my intuition was so strong and now I believe it was God who was directing me. I think the gut feelings we get are God's way of showing us the light. And taking time to listen.
I hope you are all enjoying your Saturdays. We are going to a Christmas celebration soon. Excited! Everything for me since I've been sober is so much more exciting!!!
Hugs to all you mommies!
I now understand how people find God. It's happened for me. The higher power. Even when I was a child my intuition was so strong and now I believe it was God who was directing me. I think the gut feelings we get are God's way of showing us the light. And taking time to listen.
I hope you are all enjoying your Saturdays. We are going to a Christmas celebration soon. Excited! Everything for me since I've been sober is so much more exciting!!!
Hugs to all you mommies!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
lucy - you sound like you are in a wonderful place, both mentally and physically. I wonder if your son's maturity is a result of your husband's addiction. It makes sense that he would feel like he had to be more responsible, make sure that the rest of you are safe. My dad is the product of an alcoholic father and a battered mother, and I know he grew up assigning himself that role. He would often put himself in between his mom and dad to protect her, earning himself the abuse. For some reason, my grandfather never beat on my aunt (my father's sister), and interestingly, she died at 56 after a hard life of alcohol abuse and cigarettes.
We had a good day. I ran 4.5 miles this morning in the c-o-l-d. I'm up to 45,000 words in my novel, with just 5,000 to go to finish out the NaNoWriMo challenge! I'm at the climax of my story, and while it's not based on my life, there are huge aspects of it that hit really close to home for me. I was near tears writing today's section. It's hard to get it out on "paper." I'm in the home stretch of another cycle, waiting for my period to hopefully not come. I guess I'm hoping I tricked the universe into thinking that I wasn't trying hard to get pregnant this month, by being so busy accomplishing other things, so that I actually do.
I borrowed my neighbor's pizzelle maker to make pizzelles for my daughter's PTA teacher luncheon. I am literally sick to my stomach from eating so many practice pizzelles. I can't seem to help myself from helping myself to another!
We had a good day. I ran 4.5 miles this morning in the c-o-l-d. I'm up to 45,000 words in my novel, with just 5,000 to go to finish out the NaNoWriMo challenge! I'm at the climax of my story, and while it's not based on my life, there are huge aspects of it that hit really close to home for me. I was near tears writing today's section. It's hard to get it out on "paper." I'm in the home stretch of another cycle, waiting for my period to hopefully not come. I guess I'm hoping I tricked the universe into thinking that I wasn't trying hard to get pregnant this month, by being so busy accomplishing other things, so that I actually do.
I borrowed my neighbor's pizzelle maker to make pizzelles for my daughter's PTA teacher luncheon. I am literally sick to my stomach from eating so many practice pizzelles. I can't seem to help myself from helping myself to another!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Bebetter- My son was born an old soul. He was writing the alphabet by 18 months and drawing dinosaurs at 2. All self taught. His favorite show was Seinfeld when he was 3. But you are right he has control issues. He's a clean freak. It's something he can control because he cannot control his dad's drinking. Luckily my hubby has been mostly a happy drunk. But nonetheless a drunk and unpredictable. That's scary for a child. My dad was like that. Oh how we pass it down generations. The ugly truth.
It's so awesome that you run and write. Both so therapeutic....
It's so awesome that you run and write. Both so therapeutic....
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey Lucy - you do sound great - good for you . You eldest sounds cool too - I often look at my boys and wonder how they will turn out
BB - that's awesome about the writing and running. Good for you. I'm hoping to get out running again next week - I have an ap on my fone which has me run / walking until my fitness levels get up
Alls good here today - kids have slept in til 7.30 - day 4 xx
. You eldest sounds cool too - I often look at my boys and wonder how they will turn out BB - that's awesome about the writing and running. Good for you. I'm hoping to get out running again next week - I have an ap on my fone which has me run / walking until my fitness levels get up
Alls good here today - kids have slept in til 7.30 - day 4 xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Happy Thanksgiving, ladies! The wine and beer was flowing at my parents house. Not that anyone was drunk, but loads of bottles to choose from. I was a little dismayed that they didn't have any real non-alcoholic options, like seltzer. But I made myself some yummy earl grey and didn't envy anyone their wine, because....
I totally rock!!! I finished my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo last night (the novel itself is about 2/3 to 3/4 of the way done, but the goal was 50,000 words in November). Aaannnddd... I ran my 5k this morning, aiming for a time of 28 minutes, and I finished in 26:09!! Holy sh!t I rocked that muthafckr! (that's all I've been saying to myself all day!).
I am amazing. Really, I'm super, super proud of meeting these two goals. I should set goals more often, I think!
I hope you are all having a wonderful Thanksgiving, just as I did. and <3 to you all.
I am so thankful for my sobriety. I couldn't have done what I did this morning without it.
I totally rock!!! I finished my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo last night (the novel itself is about 2/3 to 3/4 of the way done, but the goal was 50,000 words in November). Aaannnddd... I ran my 5k this morning, aiming for a time of 28 minutes, and I finished in 26:09!! Holy sh!t I rocked that muthafckr! (that's all I've been saying to myself all day!).
I am amazing. Really, I'm super, super proud of meeting these two goals. I should set goals more often, I think!
I hope you are all having a wonderful Thanksgiving, just as I did.
and <3 to you all.I am so thankful for my sobriety. I couldn't have done what I did this morning without it.
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