Moms and Mums Club Part 11
Hope you have a nice time at the fall festival tomorrow!! Love this time of year 
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Bebetter- I've been thinking about what you've been saying about not being so upset about not drinking but more about loosing the past, carefree and younger days. I've been listening to music lately and thinking about those fun old times. It's hard for me to stay in the present. I don't think of the future much. I tend to stay in the past. I need to work on that!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Feeling somewhat insecure. ...gotta keep focused to stay off the wine at times like this.
Hubbys ex asked him via a private Facebook message for his mobile number. ... I don't really like them being in touch on Facebook let alone phones. She has now phoned him for a chat for the last two evenings. ... he leaves the room when she calls. I suppose at least he told me. ... don't know where else to say this. Hope you guys don't mind. X
Hubbys ex asked him via a private Facebook message for his mobile number. ... I don't really like them being in touch on Facebook let alone phones. She has now phoned him for a chat for the last two evenings. ... he leaves the room when she calls. I suppose at least he told me. ... don't know where else to say this. Hope you guys don't mind. X
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
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Petals - That would make me uncomfortable. Maybe not as much now that we've been married nearly 13 years, but the privacy of it all would bother me still. It's good that he told you, but I wonder why he is needing contact with her? Did you tell him it bugs you? Because I think that would be a big sign to me - if I told my husband it bothered me and he kept it up despite my discomfort.
Nothing new here. I clocked a fantastic 5k time on Wednesday, but am sore from yesterday's class at the gym... have to get back at it today. We're trying for a baby again, and I have high hopes this cycle, since we've been so, um, active! Honestly, just having frequent sex is good for my soul!
Nothing new here. I clocked a fantastic 5k time on Wednesday, but am sore from yesterday's class at the gym... have to get back at it today. We're trying for a baby again, and I have high hopes this cycle, since we've been so, um, active! Honestly, just having frequent sex is good for my soul!
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
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Good on you BeBetter! Across the board! Lots of sex and working out? You're going to wither away! Don't disappear!
Petals - if my husband was contacted by an ex and gave her his number and left the room to chat with her on our time. I would be Bullsh!t! No way. That's our time. Depending on what she needs, that would not be okay with me. It's not that I'm jealous or I think he'd cheat but there's no need to start that relationship up again, whatever form its in. I had an ex text me after the Boston Marathon bombings to make sure I was okay, had a brief exchange, told my husband about it and shut it down. That's just me. I think you're entirely justified to feel weird about it.
All is good here. A great time in New England this past weekend. Daughter loved it! Aside from dealing with my mother in law who is... hmm... how can I best describe her.... she was once the most beatiful, engaging, artsy, whimsical, free-spirit, debutante and her fall from grace has been sad. They have relocated to Maine and become a bothered, recluse who has entirely let herself go, wearing lounge pants and men's wool sweaters and but remains entirely self-centered and is basically put out the moment she has to leave their wooded village. She's a child, who talks over everyone and demands attention. She's orbits around three moods: bothered, angry or resentful. I haven't talked to her since we returned and I do plan to bring it up with her. This is a relationship that causes me and my husband a lot of stress. He comes from a family who doesn't talk about anything, so they sit in awkward silence, with the family issues as the white elephant in the room. My family is hugely dysfunctional but at least we have it all out there and talk about it. I don't do the ignore it all and just be resentful. I won't reach out to her but if/when I do talk with her I'll bring it up and let the cards fall where they may. This is about boundaries and my family, someone has to set them. I am nervous though, I have a feeling I'll end up the bad guy, mean and hurt her feelings.... I hate being the portrayed as bully or aggressive or mean. I'll certainly be respectful but forthright, which she doesn't do. So we'll see how that goes. Have an appointment with my therapist on Monday to hash it out.
Again, I'm rambling to you guys. I hope everyone is gearing up for a good and sober weekend.
XOXO
Petals - if my husband was contacted by an ex and gave her his number and left the room to chat with her on our time. I would be Bullsh!t! No way. That's our time. Depending on what she needs, that would not be okay with me. It's not that I'm jealous or I think he'd cheat but there's no need to start that relationship up again, whatever form its in. I had an ex text me after the Boston Marathon bombings to make sure I was okay, had a brief exchange, told my husband about it and shut it down. That's just me. I think you're entirely justified to feel weird about it.
All is good here. A great time in New England this past weekend. Daughter loved it! Aside from dealing with my mother in law who is... hmm... how can I best describe her.... she was once the most beatiful, engaging, artsy, whimsical, free-spirit, debutante and her fall from grace has been sad. They have relocated to Maine and become a bothered, recluse who has entirely let herself go, wearing lounge pants and men's wool sweaters and but remains entirely self-centered and is basically put out the moment she has to leave their wooded village. She's a child, who talks over everyone and demands attention. She's orbits around three moods: bothered, angry or resentful. I haven't talked to her since we returned and I do plan to bring it up with her. This is a relationship that causes me and my husband a lot of stress. He comes from a family who doesn't talk about anything, so they sit in awkward silence, with the family issues as the white elephant in the room. My family is hugely dysfunctional but at least we have it all out there and talk about it. I don't do the ignore it all and just be resentful. I won't reach out to her but if/when I do talk with her I'll bring it up and let the cards fall where they may. This is about boundaries and my family, someone has to set them. I am nervous though, I have a feeling I'll end up the bad guy, mean and hurt her feelings.... I hate being the portrayed as bully or aggressive or mean. I'll certainly be respectful but forthright, which she doesn't do. So we'll see how that goes. Have an appointment with my therapist on Monday to hash it out.
Again, I'm rambling to you guys. I hope everyone is gearing up for a good and sober weekend.
XOXO
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Petals- I think it's a good sign your hubby told you about it. Most likely harmless. But I would stop it there. He isn't her sounding board!
My hubby had a co-worker who was single and they texted each other. He was her sounding board at work. I was beyond pissed. I was drinking heavily back then and totally freaked out. I called her and asked her if she was married and she pleaded with me to keep my hubby as her friend. Geez, women are so lame sometimes. I told her to get her own husband!!!!
It's never a good thing when we confide in someone of the opposite sex other than our spouse. Think about how little time we have in a day, then they spend it talking with them and not us!
I'm so glad I'm not still living in 2007. What an awful year that was. I had 2 very young children, I ignored my husband and I drank every night to drown my sorrows!
I'm so much stronger now!
Rock on ladies!!!!!!
My hubby had a co-worker who was single and they texted each other. He was her sounding board at work. I was beyond pissed. I was drinking heavily back then and totally freaked out. I called her and asked her if she was married and she pleaded with me to keep my hubby as her friend. Geez, women are so lame sometimes. I told her to get her own husband!!!!
It's never a good thing when we confide in someone of the opposite sex other than our spouse. Think about how little time we have in a day, then they spend it talking with them and not us!
I'm so glad I'm not still living in 2007. What an awful year that was. I had 2 very young children, I ignored my husband and I drank every night to drown my sorrows!
I'm so much stronger now!
Rock on ladies!!!!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
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Babs - My MIL is a lot like yours, but for different reasons, and my husband's family sounds a lot like yours too. Lots of dysfunction, but no one has a bad word to say. No one speaks up. It's all passive aggressive politeness, and it drives me nuts! I remember my MIL saying that there was never any yelling in her house, and I think sometimes it's good to yell. Sometimes it's good to show all your emotions. To get it out there, be vulnerable and search for the truth. I HATE the way his mom is all holier-than-thou and then stabs you in the back with an uber-polished passive aggressive jab. She is from outside of Boston, and I truly think it's a regional thing. (sorry New Englanders... or maybe just Bostonians... am I totally wrong?) The rest of his family is very kind and I love them, but everyone tip-toes around his mom like she's a bomb. I raised my voice at her once when I totally lost my cool with her antics (there's a WHOLE history there), and to this day, she brings it up. I love my husband, but some days, she really gets in the way of our normally good relationship. It took a good 8-10 years for him to completely see my perspective on things, but it's helped.
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Join Date: May 2013
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Hi moms....
Been very busy here...weekends have been crazy, but wanted to check in with you all.
Bebetter, glad you had a nice weekend in New England...weather was great!
Petals...I gotta say, I would be ticked too about the hubby having those chats with the ex. I don't think you are overreacting, and any woman would feel uncomfortable with the idea.
So glad it's Friday, and I have no major plans this weekend for once. Going to try to just relax and enjoy it:-)
Well, must get the little lady to sleep now:-)
Been very busy here...weekends have been crazy, but wanted to check in with you all.
Bebetter, glad you had a nice weekend in New England...weather was great!
Petals...I gotta say, I would be ticked too about the hubby having those chats with the ex. I don't think you are overreacting, and any woman would feel uncomfortable with the idea.
So glad it's Friday, and I have no major plans this weekend for once. Going to try to just relax and enjoy it:-)
Well, must get the little lady to sleep now:-)
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Good Morning Mamas!
Tired on this monday morning. Good weekend. However, there was stuff scheduled - enough to make you feel busy but not enough to really be busy.
Baby was up all night last night, 3rd night in a row. I think its teething. It's just enough to keep me hovering on exhausted and slightly tired.
I'm feeling a bit frustrated and a bit bored and this morning I thought 'god, I'd love to go and have wine.' It's been nagging in the back of my head and I'd really just like to tune out and relax. Not be 'on'. I have a business trip in a few weeks and not having to be 'in charge' of everything (family pics, sitter, social calendars, landscaper, laundry, work, house guests, in-law relationships, holidays, etc. etc. etc. etc). Just a day off will do me a world of good. I booked the fanciest hotel in this tiny Texas town and I plan to enjoy every minute of the alone time.
I think I'll go to a meeting on Friday and get my 9-month chip. Perhaps that will quiet the nagging 'god I'd love some wine' voice in my head....
Tired on this monday morning. Good weekend. However, there was stuff scheduled - enough to make you feel busy but not enough to really be busy.
Baby was up all night last night, 3rd night in a row. I think its teething. It's just enough to keep me hovering on exhausted and slightly tired.
I'm feeling a bit frustrated and a bit bored and this morning I thought 'god, I'd love to go and have wine.' It's been nagging in the back of my head and I'd really just like to tune out and relax. Not be 'on'. I have a business trip in a few weeks and not having to be 'in charge' of everything (family pics, sitter, social calendars, landscaper, laundry, work, house guests, in-law relationships, holidays, etc. etc. etc. etc). Just a day off will do me a world of good. I booked the fanciest hotel in this tiny Texas town and I plan to enjoy every minute of the alone time.
I think I'll go to a meeting on Friday and get my 9-month chip. Perhaps that will quiet the nagging 'god I'd love some wine' voice in my head....
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Originally Posted by lucygoose 
Alcoholism is such a lonely disease. I was lonely while doing it and when I watch those I love doing it, makes me even lonelier still.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Thank you Serenidad!
I wish my kids didn't need me so much in the evenings with homework! I would love to go to a meeting. I missed my Alanon meeting this past week due to my daughter having 4 tests the next day. It really affected me. An AA meeting may be needed this week.
I wish my kids didn't need me so much in the evenings with homework! I would love to go to a meeting. I missed my Alanon meeting this past week due to my daughter having 4 tests the next day. It really affected me. An AA meeting may be needed this week.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
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Party in my office tonight. I didn't even think for second about whether or not I would want to drink and guess what?! I want to grab all the wine set-up so nicely on the tables. There's a table of wine glasses and I want to have wine with everyone too. UGH! I had no idea this would even be an issue... I had a thought 'I can drink at the party and..' then a sleu of thoughts went through my head about how I could sneak more wine without my husband knowing... and her I am, 2 days from 9 months...and I'd love to just get hammered. Ugh. Will it ever totally go away?
I walked by the bar table (strategically right outside my office) and came straight in and posted here. I'll make it through but F!
I walked by the bar table (strategically right outside my office) and came straight in and posted here. I'll make it through but F!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Aw babs... thinking of you.
When will it get easier I wonder.
Well done on coming here. Keep strong.
I've wanted to drink all day and just been offered a can of cider. ...I want wine but even cider looks good right now. ...
When will it get easier I wonder.
Well done on coming here. Keep strong.
I've wanted to drink all day and just been offered a can of cider. ...I want wine but even cider looks good right now. ...
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Babs - nope, I don't think it ever goes away forever. Maybe for a select few, but probably not for most. But, as you know, those cravings come further apart, and also as you know, you can get through them. Not fair that you have to go through a party at the office... I'm lucky I can choose to ignore most alcoholic events. However, lately, I've felt like I'm missing out on things. Local moms clubs that do things like "Sangria & Self-Defense," - something that sounds like loads of fun, but I don't feel like explaining myself to a bunch of women my age who all have kids in school together. I'm not going to be "that mom." A weekend getaway with my neighbor and some of her good friends - a cabin in the mountains - that I said no to, partly because I'm not ready to be that far from my kids for the weekend, but also because I don't feel like having the temptation to drink. And what a temptation it would have been... she's big into fancy cocktails, and has no problem getting stupid drunk, though she doesn't do it often enough that I'd say she has a problem. Lucky her....
And now that I've gone on and on about me... sorry!
It does get easier, mostly, though. In fact, I can't remember feeling as awesome as I have the past few days. Super content, very confident and secure. Who knows why, but I blame it on hormones, since it's the same hormones that have been making me crazy during the first half of my cycles. Seems only fair that I get to feel awesome during the second half. I've been running and really gaining speed - up to under 27 minutes for a treadmill 5k, and about 29-30 minutes on my outdoor runs. Very good for me, and very good for my mind. Speaking of which, I'm thinking of doing that National Novel Writing Month thing in November again - write 50,000 words in one month. The only thing is that I really have no idea what I want to write - just that I think I'd like to do it. Maybe something will come to me.
I'm reading a book right now called 'The Painter" and the main character is a recovered alcoholic, and it's really affirming to read all the sh!t he goes through and he keeps not drinking. All through the book, he says "I need a drink now." And I keep expecting him to get one, and he doesn't - he gets an NA beer, or just forgets about it. Coincidentally, he's 1 year 3 months sober in the book, which is just about where I'm at, too.
I had my OB appointment on Monday, and couldn't help thinking of Dolly when I was there (weird, I know!). I'll never forget when she said something like - "isn't it funny that you hide your panties under your clothes, even though you're totally naked for the appointment?" I was very happy at the appointment to be able to say I don't drink when the nurse asked all the usual questions. No booze, no caffeine, exercise daily, and 2 cigs. She (a smoker) gave me 100%.
And now that I've gone on and on about me... sorry!
It does get easier, mostly, though. In fact, I can't remember feeling as awesome as I have the past few days. Super content, very confident and secure. Who knows why, but I blame it on hormones, since it's the same hormones that have been making me crazy during the first half of my cycles. Seems only fair that I get to feel awesome during the second half. I've been running and really gaining speed - up to under 27 minutes for a treadmill 5k, and about 29-30 minutes on my outdoor runs. Very good for me, and very good for my mind. Speaking of which, I'm thinking of doing that National Novel Writing Month thing in November again - write 50,000 words in one month. The only thing is that I really have no idea what I want to write - just that I think I'd like to do it. Maybe something will come to me.
I'm reading a book right now called 'The Painter" and the main character is a recovered alcoholic, and it's really affirming to read all the sh!t he goes through and he keeps not drinking. All through the book, he says "I need a drink now." And I keep expecting him to get one, and he doesn't - he gets an NA beer, or just forgets about it. Coincidentally, he's 1 year 3 months sober in the book, which is just about where I'm at, too.
I had my OB appointment on Monday, and couldn't help thinking of Dolly when I was there (weird, I know!). I'll never forget when she said something like - "isn't it funny that you hide your panties under your clothes, even though you're totally naked for the appointment?" I was very happy at the appointment to be able to say I don't drink when the nurse asked all the usual questions. No booze, no caffeine, exercise daily, and 2 cigs. She (a smoker) gave me 100%.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
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Petals, BeBetter- thank you, thank you. It was tough tonight. I quickly saw what I would have done, as coworkers teeth started to turn purple and voices got louder, I know I would have been one of the last, purple teeth, 'I shouldn't tell tou this but...' And a boatload of regret tomorrow. My husband came to the party and brought our daughter and we walked home before everyone got too wheels up. I still find myself wanting to feel that feeling of being drunk... Is that normal? It's like I just want that little warm, buzz.... Ugh.
BeBetter- you're doing awesome! I also would have declined the weekend and do decline other events. I find it's not hard to be one-on-one and not drink but it's hard to do the group of drinkers vs. me. I actually don't think I've done it yet. You're string and you're doing it! Did you find that you'd lost weight?
Anyway, I'm home with a trough of pasta, sober and my family. Still sick but nothing a good night sleep won't take care of.
BeBetter- you're doing awesome! I also would have declined the weekend and do decline other events. I find it's not hard to be one-on-one and not drink but it's hard to do the group of drinkers vs. me. I actually don't think I've done it yet. You're string and you're doing it! Did you find that you'd lost weight?
Anyway, I'm home with a trough of pasta, sober and my family. Still sick but nothing a good night sleep won't take care of.
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi ladies...
Babs...sorry you had to deal with cravings. It is frustrating that after a fair amount of sober time we still get them, but you did great!
I still get them from time to time...I too had a brief moment tonight. My nephew is getting married tomorrow and my daughter is the flower girl, so we went to the rehearsal tonight. Everyone seemed to be drinking and a briefly missed the glass of wine I would typically have had.
I got through it just like you, and we can keep on doing that...it does get less frequent...I promise!
Lol Bebetter... Yeah...the gyno visits with hiding the bra and panties moments before we bare all...one of those funny mysteries:-)
Well.. Time to make tea...check back soon:-)
Babs...sorry you had to deal with cravings. It is frustrating that after a fair amount of sober time we still get them, but you did great!
I still get them from time to time...I too had a brief moment tonight. My nephew is getting married tomorrow and my daughter is the flower girl, so we went to the rehearsal tonight. Everyone seemed to be drinking and a briefly missed the glass of wine I would typically have had.
I got through it just like you, and we can keep on doing that...it does get less frequent...I promise!
Lol Bebetter... Yeah...the gyno visits with hiding the bra and panties moments before we bare all...one of those funny mysteries:-)
Well.. Time to make tea...check back soon:-)
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Quiet here! I hope everyone is doing well.
Lady - any word on the house? Did you guys go to Boo at the Zoo? We were there on Sunday and had a great time!
Nothing much here. I'm kind of bummed in a weird way. I just really want to be pregnant, and some days, it drives me nuts. I spend half the month waiting to ovulate, and then the second waiting to see if I'm pregnant. It's an unhealthy obsession, but at the same time, I can't let go of the fact - the absolute fact - that it's not fair that it's been so hard for us to have children (and I know, lots of people have it much worse - at least we can get pregnant). I'm 3 days shy of my period, and am just waiting, I suppose. I'm also a little apprehensive about my anxiety returning in a few weeks, as it has been happening around days 7-10 of my cycle. Blah. Girl jabber....
Lady - any word on the house? Did you guys go to Boo at the Zoo? We were there on Sunday and had a great time!
Nothing much here. I'm kind of bummed in a weird way. I just really want to be pregnant, and some days, it drives me nuts. I spend half the month waiting to ovulate, and then the second waiting to see if I'm pregnant. It's an unhealthy obsession, but at the same time, I can't let go of the fact - the absolute fact - that it's not fair that it's been so hard for us to have children (and I know, lots of people have it much worse - at least we can get pregnant). I'm 3 days shy of my period, and am just waiting, I suppose. I'm also a little apprehensive about my anxiety returning in a few weeks, as it has been happening around days 7-10 of my cycle. Blah. Girl jabber....
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi ladies!
Been awhile since I've checked in. Things have been crazy and stressful here. Hi BeBetter, we sold our townhome in less than 2 weeks, which was very surprising, so we are settling on new home/moving on Nov 19. It has been a roller coaster ride dealing with various issues with seller. At one point we thought it was all going to fall through and then we would have no place to go, but I think it is going to be ok now. It's very exciting, but nerve wracking trying to get packed/ready to move and being so close to my due date. I am 34 wks now and baby is still breech. Dr says they will do an u/s at 36 wks and if she is still breech then they will schedule the inversion procedure, where they try to manually turn her, or a c section. Ugh, really don't want to have either done so hopefully she turns soon. Has anyone had or heard of anyone who has had that inversion procedure done? From what I hear it is one of the most painful things?
BeBetter, crossing my fingers for you that you get a positive pregnancy test. I know all too well that emotional up and down you are feeling. It will happen
Hope everyone else is doing well. Hugs to all of you.
Been awhile since I've checked in. Things have been crazy and stressful here. Hi BeBetter, we sold our townhome in less than 2 weeks, which was very surprising, so we are settling on new home/moving on Nov 19. It has been a roller coaster ride dealing with various issues with seller. At one point we thought it was all going to fall through and then we would have no place to go, but I think it is going to be ok now. It's very exciting, but nerve wracking trying to get packed/ready to move and being so close to my due date. I am 34 wks now and baby is still breech. Dr says they will do an u/s at 36 wks and if she is still breech then they will schedule the inversion procedure, where they try to manually turn her, or a c section. Ugh, really don't want to have either done so hopefully she turns soon. Has anyone had or heard of anyone who has had that inversion procedure done? From what I hear it is one of the most painful things?
BeBetter, crossing my fingers for you that you get a positive pregnancy test. I know all too well that emotional up and down you are feeling. It will happen
Hope everyone else is doing well. Hugs to all of you.
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