Babs78756

LG - will their be any cost with getting the kids off to school? If there is, does the pay form the club cover it and make it worth the hassle? I think you all have built such a great team and the kids know that now is a time to really band together and chip in... this could help bring you all closer. Will your kids be able to come in sometimes too? Wouldn't that be great if they could take a class here and there?

Additionally, if you take the job, you could angle for a different schedule as soon as you get on board and maybe get more hours.

I'm of the mindset that a bit of financial freedom can go so far in peace of mind....

Best of luck in the decision making! Keep us posted.

Babs78756

LG - will their be any cost with getting the kids off to school? If there is, does the pay form the club cover it and make it worth the hassle? I think you all have built such a great team and the kids know that now is a time to really band together and chip in... this could help bring you all closer. Will your kids be able to come in sometimes too? Wouldn't that be great if they could take a class here and there?

Additionally, if you take the job, you could angle for a different schedule as soon as you get on board and maybe get more hours.

I'm of the mindset that a bit of financial freedom can go so far in peace of mind....

Best of luck in the decision making! Keep us posted.

Dollyangel17

Hi all...

Checking in after a few days away. Took our daughter to Great Wolf Lodge for the weekend, and enjoyed some water park action:-). and now running around getting ready for her birthday party on Sunday.

Can't believe she is turning 8:-)!!!!

LG...did you take the job? Hope it worked out with your schedules so that you can do it...sounds like a good opportunity.

lucygoose

Thanks you guys for the advice:-). I ended up not taking the job. My rides for my kids didn't get back to me in time and I think it would have really put a strain on all of us instead of a bonus. The cost of child care would have been equivalent to the job so it made it not worth it. And with the holidays coming I would have had to find a sub right away. I'm bummed and do want financial freedom! But now is not the time to be away from the kids.

I want to start fresh and sell this big house and not have such financial burdens. I want to have extra money to ski and enjoy life instead of having so much of our money going to living expenses. I want to get out of California!

I wish I had a crystal ball. My daughter is getting bullied at school. Nothing makes me angrier. I just sat and cried today. She is such an angel. So innocent and she doesn't know how to handle mean girls. I guess I didn't either back then. I just want her to stand up to all of it and realize how great she is. I can handle a lot of things but when my kids are hurting i fall apart! She's only 10 and has seen too much already. It puts a lot of pressure on me to do it all. I need a spouse who isn't in rehab!!!

Dolly your trip sounds amazing!

Hey-----I'm past 9 months sober!

Babs78756

LG - I read the part about your daughter and got tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry. Is there anything that can be done?!

Don't worry about the job but maybe you're onto something with scaling back a little and giving yourselves a little breathing room, reducing the overhead.

Husband is in London again this week. Been a busy week and I've managed not to get ahead at work in spite of being in almost an hour early each day. UGH. I think tomorrow, I'm just going to come in later (8:30) and spend the time at home with my daughter. I miss her so much and I have an event after work tonight. The guilt of not being with her is eating me up. She's at daycare 10 hours a day, so I feel like I'm barely a mom. I brought her in bed with me the other night, just so I could be near her for more hours of the day. Even though I know its a cardinal sin with the sleep training gods. I felt like we needed a snuggle. Maybe I do some work tonight and get some crap off my plate.

We have friends coming in from Boston tomorrow. I am racing to the airport to pick them up, drop them off at our house and return back to my office for an all day meeting. I know they'll be fine at our house, I'm leaving them the car and hope they'll get out and explore. Husband gets back tomorrow night late.

I don't feel like drinking but man I could use a drink. Anyone ever have that type of feeling?

Ladybug2

Hi Babs, I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like drinking, but really wanting a drink. I was so close to cracking open a beer (would have been wine if there was any in house) tonight just to calm myself down, but I knew that wasn't the answer. We are moving into a new house in less than a week, I am 3 weeks away from my due date and hormones/stress really got to me earlier. Hubby and I fought (mostly from stress about the move), daughter was acting out and I just lost it. Locked myself in the bathroom and had a good cry. My daughter kept knocking on the door, but I didn't want her to see me so upset. A lot going on in her little world right now too. Ugh. So much to be grateful for, I know, but lately I have just been feeling so overwhelmed. Tonight was the first time in a long time I really wanted to chug a drink, but I didn't. I am home alone now as hubby and daughter have a Daddy & Me night at preschool so just trying to regroup.

Lucy, sorry to hear about your daughter I can't believe 10 year olds can be so mean?! It's good that she is telling you about it. I wonder the same as Babs - can anything be done to put an end to it?

Hope everyone else is doing well. Hugs to all of you!

Dollyangel17

Hi moms...

Lucy...sorry your daughter is dealing with mean girls:-(. My little girl is also a sensitive girl that wants to always please her friends, and I worry about that so much even though she is only 8. I fear she lets them walk all over her, and hope it isn't a trend that will continue into middle school/high school.

I too always telling her not to let her friends boss her around, and that she is too nice a girl to put up with friends that are not as nice to her as she is to them!

I know what you mean when you talk about how heartbreaking it is...I will actually feel physically ill the few times she has told me about something a "friend" did or said that was mean:-(

SoberLife2014

Hi ladies,

Sorry I haven't been in touch with you all lately. I hope everyone is well!

I hate to just pop in like this having been away for so long, but I have a mommy issue that I need a little advice/ support on.

I'm pregnant with baby #2 (woohoo!) and I'm super excited. Not very far along though. Only about 5 weeks. Anyway, thank goodness I'm not having any issues with alcohol but I'm a little concerned about my caffeine intake. I've gotten down to 2 coffees and 1 diet coke a day, but if I have any less than that I find that I'm dragging big time. I even try to take naps. I'm torn between thinking this amount is OK and thinking 'what if it causes a miscarriage?'. I need someone else's opinion. What do you all think? Thanks ladies!

BrighterDayz

Congratulations! Call your Dr.'s office and ask about the coffee and diet coke. My baby is 19 and the rules change all the time, LOL.

Dollyangel17

Hi Lulu..

Glad to hear from you and congrats on your pregnancy!!! Yay for baby #2!!!

What size coffees we talking here! When I was pregnant, my doctor told me it was fine to have 2 cups of coffee a day. Now that isn't the grande sizes you can get at the coffee shop...that was two mugs of it.

What you are drinking doesn't sound too bad, but probably depends on size...I guess double checking with doc. Would be a good idea:-)

lucygoose

Babs- I really respect you having the big career and everything. I'm sure your daughter will too someday. Quality is better than quantity.

Ladybug- The big day is almost here! You're got so much on your plate. Let it go and let those tears flow! I have found I'm doing a lot of that lately too. Guess what? You can be strong and cry too. I used to think it was weak, but God put us on this earth to have human emotions and to cry! I'm so happy to hear from you!

lucygoose

Dolly- Thank you for the sympathy!

I got the Principal involved. Luckily both my kids have an immaculate reputation at the school so they took what she said seriously. I had my daughter write down what upset her on an index card. She was nervous and thought she might forget something. She read her points to the 3 other girls. They all talked and worked it out today. Two of the girls cried, not my daughter. I think it empowered her. They even played at recess. One of the girls is a lost cause, so we are just seeing her as having an illness.

lucygoose

Lulu- congratulations!!!! I just got off of caffeine all together. I know it can raise blood pressure and cholesterol. I don't know what affects it has on a baby. Sparklingly water is supposed to be the best. I went to a holistic surgeon/medicine man and he told me that.

SoberLife2014

Thanks for the input everyone. The size of the coffee isn't terribly big. It's one of those keurig k-cup coffees. The hazelnut or the french vanilla kind. About 8 ounces. And just 1 12 oz diet coke.

I'm getting hung up on the numbers. I need to just stay off the internet for prenatal advice. Everything I read said to stay under 200mg of caffeine a day, but they don't really have an explanation why other than someone did a study one time that said that pregnant women who drink more than 200mg of caffeine daily are twice as likely to have miscarriages, but then they backtracked and said that study was biased and flawed. But keep it under 200mg.. just in case. In my case, according to the research I've done, k-cups have anywhere from 75-120mg in each cup of coffee. I'll talk with my doctor about it but I already know what he's going to say. Probably something along the lines of "Well, if you're that worried about it then you better cut back". He's so laissez-faire lol.

I drank caffeine with my first pregnancy. Back then the max was 300mg/ day so I wasn't worried. I've decided to just quit worrying about it. I get so hung up on stuff like this while I'm pregnant. I'll do the best I can to take care of my baby without losing my mind. Alcohol is out of the question for me and I don't smoke. I don't do drugs and I don't even go through those body scan things at the airport. I will, however, on occasion have a sandwich with cold cuts and I'll have my 2 stinkin' cups of coffee a day so I can keep up with my little 14mo old. I'm considering switching to decaff diet coke too.

lucygoose

My best buddy at my Alanon meetings just lost her husband. She has two sons. He was an alcoholic and suicidal. It was a car accident. It really shook me because she was closest to me in age, husbands were similar and we always talked after meetings. She even told me we have to cherish every good time we have with them because we never know what can happen.

I texted her and my husband at 813pm that night regarding it. They both replied at the exact minute. 1151pm. My hubby said he felt compelled to wake up and text me. Weird.

He's been talking about suicide a lot lately as had her husband. What a sad thing. Addiction kills. It's nothing to laugh about or be shocked by if someone takes their life. It causes so much pain. I hope this mans soul is at peace now.

After finding out about his death we all came out of our meeting. The church band was playing with lights down. A woman was singing about angels. I said a prayer for her family. We all did. It was so perfect in an imperfect situation.

:-(

Bebetter

Lulu - Congratulations!! I drank a cup of coffee a day with each of my girls, and none with my son (who passed away). My doctor said 2 was fine. Honestly, I'd quit the diet coke. I just want to throw this thought process out there for you:

When I was pregnant with my third, following a miscarriage (plus my previous 2 losses), I asked my doctor if I should quit exercising, because I am high risk. She said, exercise in moderation is okay, BUT that I shouldn't do anything that worries me, because if I do happen to have a miscarriage, she didn't want me to feel like I had done anything that caused it. Essentially, she wanted me to avoid the awful guilty feelings that often come with a miscarriage, even though, technically, there is very little anyone can do to cause a miscarriage. Does that make sense? So if you are worried about it, stop doing it. How about switching those 2 cups to half caf? I bet you won't notice too much of a difference...

Mkb0925

I just joined the forums today after lurking around for a couple of months. I am a mom to 2 girls...8.5 and almost 12.

I am finally going to stop drinking and have committed to it....my daughters do not need to see me again after I have had too much wine. So I am making the change

I am married and do have a very supportive husband so I am very lucky with that!

Looking foward to getting to know some other moms!

Bebetter

Welcome, MK! You can do this, and we're all here with you to help as we can.

I'm mom to 2 girls, ages 2.5 and 5. I have 16.5 months of sobriety under my belt, an can honestly say it's rare that I have a day when I miss drinking. And even then, it's not a day, it's a short moment. My life has really improved overall, but the beginning was hard. It took a good 6 months to start to feel like myself again - not that I craved much then, but that I felt like my brain and my emotions were returning to normal. Now I feel like I'm moving ahead in my life. Setting healthy goals for both my mind and body. Stick with us, and stay strong!

lucygoose

Welcome MK!!!

It's so good to have new people on this thread!

I've been sober 9 months. For me the first 3 months were the most difficult. I felt so much at my 3 month stage that I never want to go back to nightly drinking. I feel so much better overall.

I have a 10 year old/ 15 year old.

So glad you are joining us:-)

Dollyangel17

Welcome MK! Glad you have joined us...it's so supportive here with all these wonderful ladies:-)

I am mom to an 8 year old girl (well she turns 8 tomorrow anyway). I spent the first 6 years of her life drinking pretty steadily until it progressed to every day, starting in the morning sort of situation.

Pretty bad I was in my opinion, but here I am at 18.5 months sober with my life improved in leaps and bounds!! I am a much better mom now, and can't imagine going back to the way it was!

Anyway...welcome again!