Tytan

Thanksgiving? Man, I am looking forward to thanksgiving. We are going to spend it with some of the Mormon families at post, so no temptation of booze and plenty of great food. And then I’m planning to drive the family up to Vienna to check out the Christmas markets there. It’s going to be nice to get out of this house as a family and hit the open road. It’s only about a 6 hour drive… the equivalent of Atlanta, GA to Charleston, SC. It’s amazing how close together everything is over here.

Tytan

So… deep question… I know you’re in your rediscover stage… but is there anything you’ve ever wanted to do with your life? And interest that you’ve never explored? When you’re in your dark place… is there ever something that something that pops up like a ray of light that makes you thing, “huh… well that would be nice.”

Anyway, that was just a random question that popped in my head when reading your post.

Glad to hear you’re doing okay.

Tytan

Welcome!

Tytan

So… are all these people telling you that you’re stronger than the problem your drinking friends? It sounds like these people have their own agenda mixed into the advice they are giving.

Tytan

Completely different circumstances… I’m trying to keep my family together… and I am totally with you… if I can do this sober… I can rock life. Day 8 for me. Welcome and vent here when you need to.

ViciousCycle

LOL Mirage.........yeah if it were a real cow that would be good.........I am with you on the gamey meat thing!! Ick.

Asta1

What a good question for us all to ask ourselves! There were so many things that seemed out of the question when drinking, especially those things that involved driving. Driving to Vienna for example. Would you have tried that a few months ago? I know I wouldn't have tried anything near that.

For myself, you really gave me some food for thought. I think I'll start a written list as things occur to me. Maybe I'll carry that, along with my Cost/Benefit Analysis, in my purse to look at when I am anywhere near the liquor store.

Asta1

Have you/BF ever had anyone make venison sausage, with lots of spices & stuff? I know a few hunters around here that do that. They take the meat to some kind of "sausage maker, I guess" and they do the work. Seems a shame to waste the meat. Food pantry donation?

ViciousCycle

Oh they won't waste it, Asta.....they will have a cutting party. (gross).......they process the whole darn thing........eeeew. I will not be attending!

richietenebaum

hello, I am a 24yo male and would like to join your group. I drink and smoke pot daily and have for about 6 years now, it is sucking the life out of me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have overcome stronger addictions (opiates, 4 years clean) but I am so functional with my current addictions, it is hard to see how it is hurting me w/out the obvious evidence my battle through hard drugs that ended w/ inpatient rehab had. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Asta1

Welcome to the "sick and tired of being sick and tired" website! Glad you joined us. I have found a tremendous amount of support here, both from reading and posting, not to mention finding people that I like to think of as friends, even tho I've never met them in person. Feel free to share anything on this thread or any other. People will not criticize. We've all been there before and back. If you slip, it is just that, a slip. Recover and get back to sobriety as fast as you can. Don't wallow in it and think, well I ruined it, I might as well go whole hog. You really don't want that really bad hangover, right?
I joined in October and had 17 days sober when the little voices in my head said, "Go ahead, you can handle a drink or two." Hah!! Next thing I knew the bottle was empty. I'm now on day 13 and feeling good. I don't dare to look too far into the future -- but taking it "one day at a time."

Look forward to hearing more from you. Read other newcomers posts and you will find lots of people just like you.

mirage

Asta said it perfectly. Glad you're here richietenebaum..it IS tiring! (if they had a sleeping smiley, I'd post it here.) Hope you keep coming back and telling us how you're doing...hang in there.

Vulcan

I am also new. I am an accomplished alcoholic and hope I meet the entry requirements. For me, being an alcoholic and drinking do not mix well.

ViciousCycle

Welcome Richietenebaum and Vulcan....nice to have you in our ever growing November group.......we do have some really good people here....and it's kind of understood that we care about each other....we all face the same demons, ya know? So as the others have said....welcome........post........and hang out.......

Asta1

Vulcan, Welcome from me too! Look forward to hearing more from you.

thirtybubba

Welcome, RT (I can't type that well shaking) and Vulcan.

Tytan, I have no drinking friends. I have no friends whatsoever. I do not know the personal phone number of anyone in this state, much less am "granted" the "opportunity" to hang out with them. I do not qualify, although I've tried, and since proven that I can make friends in other states as easily as I ever did.

The only people I can talk to face to face are college officials. Well, them and people who man counters at stores.

The only friends I have are over the phone... it's the drinking friends that support being being sober the most sometimes. Other times they are a trigger.

Anyways. Had a very very rough day that landed me in the health clinic--detox and ultimate stress does not go well together--and am sort of fine now. I got stressed some more later at a meeting that was supposed to help me... I think by now I'm getting to that point when the emotions kick in.

Still sober, somehow.
TB

ViciousCycle

Good morning......hope you all had a strong night.....Day 14 for Asta and myself.......a modern miracle...!! For me that is.

Did you get moved TB? That should help with the stress I hope??

I am going to try to get outside for a walk today........it's been gorgeous for being November......

How are all the new peeps?

Asta1

Successful day yesterday. Yes, VC, it is day 14, but not only that, 14 days is 2 weeks!!!!!!!! Can we commit to 3? Still taking it a day at a time, but I will put it in writing to stay 3 weeks if you will. That puts us smack dab at Thanksgiving. What say? (Your support these past 2 weeks has been invaluable. Thanks.)

Tytan

Huh... would I have done it? I don't know... probably... I was a late in the day drinker... so driving wouldn't have bothered me... it would have been the non-stop bender when I got to Vienna that would have been the problem.
Yeah, write the list of possibilities. Right now I have three things on my list:

1. Finish my spiritual journey, but I’ve mentioned in a previous post. The booze put that part of my life on hold for a long time. It’s giving something for me and my wife to explore together… and God willing forgiveness will come from there.

2. My thesis, I’m actually in grad school on top of everything else… I’ve been working on it for almost four years. I am taking my last graded class now, then I am going to take a quarter off for the birth of my second son… and then I am going to enroll in my Thesis Writing quarter… so right now on my list is organizing my thesis.

3. Finally, write a book. I’ve always aspired to be a writer. I have folders and folders of ideas and outlines that I have put together over the years. But every time I actually sit down to “put ink to page” I would sit down with a glass of booze… because it helped the creativity flow… for about a paragraph… and then all that was flowing was the booze… and my bladder.

So, I guess my plan is to “fix” me, finish school, and finally give myself a fair shake at achieving my dream (even if I just finish the book for myself and never publish it… it will be something that I actually created and finished).
So yeah, think about it… make a list. Tell us about it.

-Tytan
.

Threshold

There used to be...I had a bucket list...but today, no, truly there are none. It's so weird...like those things were part of this persona I had...and today I really don't feel attached at all.

Today after my meeting I took the 'WTF" letters off my backwindow, and all the little characters and quotes I had on my dashboard...felt like they were from another lifetime, like I they fit sober me at all.

So I took them all down and tossed them. No anger, no sense of loss, just as if they'd been left behind by some previous owner of the vehicle and weren't needed anymore.

I guess all I need to think about today is staying clean and getting sober. A week ahead is too far to look, let alone months or years ahead. I guess it's too soon.

Part of this may be fueled by my physical condition as well. I recently had surgery and there is going to be a long recovery period. I am still off my feet most of the time, can do only limited driving, etc...so putting energy into anything other than recovery is really not an option.

I'm just taking it hour by hour.

I mean, this is pretty deep...like I even decided to alter the way I write my name, because I used to go back and cross my t by taking the upswing of the last letter and slashing back through my name, a sort of self destructive violent move. I thought that doesn't work anymore, that's not who I am...