Originally Posted by RedAndy

Hi all, checking in for the start of 2016 back at work, after a bit of struggle NYE had a meal out NY day with friends and kids, only my mate drinking, all day, beers and wine with the meal and more beers at home then polishing off pretty much a full bottle of rum.

I wasn't feeling any thoughts of missing out at that point I just thought it was pretty sad that he felt the need to get smashed on his own - realised that would have been me too a couple of months ago though, in a way it kind of helped me, realising how it has a grip especially the more you feed it as my mate who definitely has a problem accepts nothing of the sort, he's not a problem when drunk in the sense that he does remain in control however the amount he is drinking is excessive to say the least and on pretty much a daily basis from what I gather, his wife also in the same boat with amounts but also out of control on a number of occasions and a good few blackouts, she asked me a bit about things and took some interest in what I was telling her regarding where I am at and how I've managed to stop and why / what I have learned so far, said she is doing dry January altho unfortunately I have my doubts that it will last too long as I don't think she truly wants to stop just others telling her that she's causing problems and trying to do what she sees as the right thing / ticking boxes.

When I look around at all of our friends it seems that virtually everyone is a heavy drinker - not only my mates I'd go out with but anyone in our social circle pretty much, the only person that I know that is an exception to the rule is my wife, that really is a massive plus at present and something I am grateful for however as she does not have a problem asking her to miss out on things with friends as I don't feel at all comfortable is an issue that is going to arise more and more, it's the reason I went NYE when I didn't really want to.

Other friends have invited us to an event this weekend, a football match (my team) in their private box, which again means loads of booze around, the wife wants to go but won't go without me - I feel I have to make the extra effort as I am still making up for more than a few mistakes, just don't want to be around the boozy atmosphere with everyone laughing and joking and beer after beer when all I want to do is get right on it myself in that situation - knowing I can't and that I actually won't doesn't really help, I feel utterly miserable around it.

Biggest issue that is playing on my mind already and has been for weeks is our summer holiday, I'd managed to shelve it somewhat during Christmas but now its there again, already booked and paid for and I keep trying to get rid of the thought as it's not until August, however it is 2 weeks All Inclusive, one week at a hotel in Abu Dhabi with friends and then 1 week in Dubai at the same hotel we've been to the past 2 years and the same one where everything truly went pear shaped when I last drank on November 13th. There's more of our friends meeting us there.

I'm getting myself worked up already that I won't be able to cope with it there - all holidays have been about for as long as I can remember is drinking - 2 weeks of being able to drink as much as I want - heaven - 2 weeks of watching others drink - HELL !!

I'm telling myself sure I can do other things but I just cannot get it out of my head that the temptation there will be so overwhelming - I mentioned it to my wife and her reaction was why should we (her and my daughter) miss out on our holiday with friends, also that it is months away and not to worry about it - I know she's right with it being months away and in time I may feel different but as it is right now I don't see it ending well if I go somewhere like that.
Hoping with time and a few month down the road I may feel more at ease but the fact I'm even doing my head in about it this much already is a concern.