cinder, yeah definately got to give my ah more time before i believe any of it. don't ya just hate when one day there the man you love and then the next there acting like the devil again. mine was very good at that too. i'd go with your gut on this too, unfortunately its usually right, isn't it? better to be safe than sorry. i do agree that he needs to get away from the brother. i have a new rule about NOOOO toxic people in my life and made that very clear to my ah, for the first time he agreed with me, which is a little weird. for my husband its his so-called "best friend". i put in no uncertain terms that if "mitch" is in his life, i will not be. there is no good coming from that relationship, "mitch" is about as toxic as a person can get and will never get his act together. my husband agreed, which pretty much blew me away and i was actually speechless, first time in like forever for me!! LOL. i really hope that your husband gets enuf clear headed days to make the right choices, wouldn't it be nice if we could just make those choices for them? oh yeah, we tried that, didn't work did it! hows that headache?