posiesperson

"I'm not sure I'm an alcoholic. To tell you the truth, I think it's a sugar addiction. Alcohol is basically pure sugar and I think that's my problem."

Yeah, THAT must be it... When I suggested that the beer and vodka be given up in favor of cupcakes and pie, it was declined. Go figure.

posie

TakingCharge999

hahaha "the art of quackery"... sorry... still enjoying that one...

Another one I remember... he bought a T shirt saying "God loves everyone, but I am his favorite"

He didn't even believe in God...



Speaking of which, thank God I am no longer in that Alternative Universe...





Oh oh -- I got another one ---

"You taught me how to love!"

"...the booze, even more than I already did" is what he left out




and what he told others was

"We broke up because TC999 has issues"

"... being abused and disregarded!" is what he conveniently left out, too

wanttobehealthy

I must have 100 texts that say this in a variety of ways too!

Agree with the warning to empty bladder next time before beginning to read this thread. Have been belly laughing but also finding relief that so many of our A's are so unoriginal... I've taken so many of these quacks personally and apparently missed the David Letterman 'Top 10 Quackerific Things to say to your Spouse to Make them crazy!".

Ones on my mind right now:

"You'll never understand, worry about yourself" (while telling him that the reason I will not go to MC with him is bc we need to deal with individual issues first)

"For christs sake I'm kicking back on a Fri night with a few beers-- you need to relax and maybe you should drink more"

"Now that I'm sober (for a whopping 2 or 3 days at a time) I can see how I used alcohol to deal with your abuse for all these years" (and used this logic to justify the nastier dry drunk behavior on his part)

"I've done no long term damage bc I only drink beer" (his dad is a raging alcoholic who drinks vodka- so evidently beer is fine... btw, he also drinks vodka, gin and whiskey but chooses to forget that.

"I can't remember what I've done not bc of my drinking but bc I am stressed and disassociating as a result of your abuse" (saying this to me) OR "I drink to escape your abuse" (I'm not abusive FYI...)

"Lay off, give me a break" (when I tell him that he needs to stop stealing money from our bank account and not drink at 8 am or similar such crazy expectations

"You're relentless, get off my case" (see above)

While on the phone with in patient rehab rep after coming back from 3 day bender and being told he could either go to rehab or find a new place to live (he never went to rehab btw)
AH: "most I drink? probably 6 or 7 beers at a time"
AH: "i've never blacked out, i just can't remember exactly how much i drank bc i haven't gotten much sleep all weekend and my memory is weak"

I could go on endlessly!

HoopNinja

I should just record this one and play it any time xah is mad at me (which is most of the time).

"You can't forgive ANYONE! You never forgave your mother before she died and you never have forgiven me for ANYTHING I have done!"

Yeah, well he a Mommy Dearest were good pals since they were both alcoholics and they both loved to verbally abuse and debase me.

Actually I tossed something out that the pastor (who talked me into marrying xah after I bailed on the wedding--I think I should call her and let her know what she did. . .) said to me and I think it applies for many things.

I can forgive you. Forgiveness does not mean I have to stick around and put up with your alcoholism and abuse.

Sylvie66

Today's almost got me, though:
"Your obstinate, self-righteous, and holier-than-thou attitude is the problem."

after I said 'I am no longer willing to live with you as an active alcoholic'.

Apparently, setting my boundaries is having a holier-than-thou attitude. QUACK!

Sylvie66

Another one:

"I only slipped up twice in 5 months!"

Urm... 3 of those months involved random drug testing for a DUI. r

(The second 'slip-up' came after he'd been drinking steadily greater quantities for 3 weeks. The 'slip' was doing it around me. )

wanttobehealthy

Sylvie- the "I've only x in x time" logic is the same nonsense I hear about lying... Lately I get a lot of "I've lied a lot less than in the past" (as if that's noble) as well as "I've only drank 3 times since the bail order was put in place and it was a grand total of 8 beers combined".

He's so busy focussing on the specifics and trying to justify that he misses the point.

You are an A. You are not to be drinking PER COURT ORDER. Either you are honest or you are not- no in between.

When I say things like the above (or even if I don't but don't reward him for his "few" slips) I get told that I think in only black and white.

I tell him he's right. With honesty and sobriety there is only black and white in my mind. You are either sober or you aren't. You are either honest or you aren't.

My AH's middle name should be "terminal uniqueness"- he's got an exception to everything to explain why it's no big deal.

returntonormal

Oh yes! My AH totally still says that. I was also convinced for a while, until recently when I decided that if I don't want to, I'm not going to. We'll see how long I'm able to hold out on the temper tandrum that is likely to result.

returntonormal

Ok - here are mine:

"I'm not drunk, I'm just tired" (after half a bottle of scotch)

"I'm feeling so much better now that I drink like a normal person." (min. bottle of wine/night)

"I was not mean to you last night, you're over-reacting." (after a torrent of verbal abuse)

"I wish everyone would quit telling me I'm an alcoholic. They're crazy."

"You could totally drink if you wanted to" (I'm a recovering alcoholic)

"I wouldn't drink if we had more sex...you talked to me...you were nice to me."

"Once I get a less stressful job I'll cut back."

"I'm bored at work; once I get a better job I'll cut back."

"I HATE this city. If we moved, I'd cut back."

Sylvie66

"I haven't touched a drop for 6 months!"

"Come back home ~ I've learned my lesson."

"I thought you meant (not to drink around ds) at the house!" r


These were all from today.

Where's the emoticon for me putting my hands over my ears and going lalalalalala?

- Sylvie

Ponder

"I need to dry out, this is stupid.. " (said three days ago)

Beer in his hand tonight.. me: "Thought you were going to dry out?"

"I did"

Pfffft.. ooooookaaaay..

sandrawg

My exabf:

People who go to AA are weak

I only drink because I hate where I live (hmm so that's why you're still drinking 3 yrs after moving OUT of that place)

Oh, and he sent me this email on Valentine's Day that said:

I hope that someday I can forget who I was when I made you scared, and forget the selfish jerk you hated and never wanted to see, but I would somehow let him out the box. I need to loose that key. That key needs to be melted down and left for scrap.

Yeah, that person always came out when he DRANK. So, what did he do 3 days later after writing this to me? GET DRUNK.

That one I find really sad.

MayaandMe

This week I heard from my exABF, "I know I was an alcoholic when I was with you, but now I have matured...now sometimes I drink wine."

Paintbaby

I wanna play too!

"Help is for losers!"

"I just really like the taste of beer!"

"If you didn't keep it in the house, I wouldn't drink it!"

Nope, still not missing him!

theuncertainty

I keep remembering more gems....

From our divorce/custody hearing:

"I go to AA about 3 times a week. If I'm working a lot, I don't. But I try to go every Saturday morning, so it's uh every day. I just work a lot now."

or

"I've been sober for...uh... quite a while now. I don't even count anymore."
"What do you mean, you don't even count any more?"
"Well, everybody counts. They have their days. I don't do that. Every day is a day. Uh, if you ever go to AA, you'll see, everybody has their 30 days, 60 days, 90 days." (said in a sneer)
"I understand that. So, in AA, when is your birthday?"
"Ah, it'd be when I got on the plane to go to uh to uh [the 28 day program]."
"What date was that?"
"I don't know."

GettingBy

GOOD GOD.... this is exactly the line AH used about two months ago. He goes out drinking wine with clients instead of beer with his biker buddies. So in his mind, its better drinking, more mature and responsible.

To me.... he graduated to a high-brow drunk... but bad news buddy, you didn't escape the drunk part.

It's like polishing a turd, you can do whatever you want to make it look nice.... but I got bad news.... its still a turd.

fourmaggie

jamaicamecrazy

Not sure if I posted this...
My husband once said in a therapy session.
"You are the reason I drink. I drink in order to stay with you."
OUCH!
I responded with-"You drank before you met me, you drank all through our marriage, I'm pretty sure you will continue drinking after I move out."
Which he has. I so want to ask him now "What is your excuse for drinking now?"
I really would like to hear what his response to that would be.
I also have this overwhelming desire to point out-
"You've given up your marriage, your house, your kids to some extent, most of your friends and family. There is only one thing you have not been willing to give up."
Does he even realize that? And why do I have that need to be heard and point it out to him?

Ponder

[QUOTE=GettingBy;2944654

It's like polishing a turd, you can do whatever you want to make it look nice.... but I got bad news.... its still a turd.[/QUOTE]

Linkmeister

My drug of choice is nicotine. Our last conversation revolved around my smoking and how it was killing our sex life. This isn't a new thing, he just went back to the beginning of the list of things that he used to blame for all that was wrong with our relationship.

I countered that argument by telling him that I didn't think it was the nicotine so much as the 2 anti depressants he took along with the high blood pressure pills and pills for his pre-diabetic condition....something I reminded him we had discussed months ago - his lack of a sex drive due to all of the meds he took.

The best thing was me reminding him that his girlfriend (previous to me) was a smoker and that didn't seem to bother him, and did he lecture her the same way? Ummmm...according to him, it was "other issues" that broke them up.

I sure don't miss the quacking but love this thread - a funny, not so subtle reminder of what it was like living with an active A.