QUACKERs....
Me: G, I just feel like you're trying to control my life. I feel like all you want me to do is the chores, and agree with you, and be at your beck and call whenever you decide you want me, and I can't do that anymore. I want to be happy in my own decisions, and I want to feel I have a life outside of you.
ABF: You mean to tell me that everything I love about you is a lie, and you don't want to do it anymore? After all the work I'm putting into getting better and not drinking, just for you?
Gee, way to make a girl feel loved.
(After sending me an e-mail calling me every name in the book and some pretty creative new ones that aren't in it, accusing me of sleeping with every man in town, and the state, and the next ten states over:
"Please give me another chance. I am a changed man. And I would have quit drinking years ago if you had only explained to me properly how important it was to you."
"Please give me another chance. I am a changed man. And I would have quit drinking years ago if you had only explained to me properly how important it was to you."
Me (when he started flipping out that I'm dating): You had a girlfriend for the last four months of our marriage!
Him: I didn't have a girlfriend. I had a freak out.
*****Huh???
In regard to the night he slept with her: "Why didn't you tell me not to go?"
Some other faves:
I've got this under control.
I'll only drink with you.
I'll only drink on weekends.
I only had three beers.
You never let me out of the house so I have to drink like this to make up for it.
I'm getting it out of my system now. It's not like I'll keep drinking like this when the baby is here.
You just don't want me to have fun.
Oh, sigh...
Him: I didn't have a girlfriend. I had a freak out.
*****Huh???
In regard to the night he slept with her: "Why didn't you tell me not to go?"
Some other faves:
I've got this under control.
I'll only drink with you.
I'll only drink on weekends.
I only had three beers.
You never let me out of the house so I have to drink like this to make up for it.
I'm getting it out of my system now. It's not like I'll keep drinking like this when the baby is here.
You just don't want me to have fun.
Oh, sigh...
I think I preferred the video game habit, because at least that was only a few games a year(he's picky about the games he likes).
The AW just told me this tonight and has said this before.
"When did the drinking rules change"?
UM,maybe because your knees look like raw hamburger all the time from falling down. Well, maybe because you took out a mailbox on the opposite side of the road and a nice trooper put you in hancuffs. I don't know these are just hunches !
Add 1 more,
"when I go to AA meetings it makes me want to drink afterwards"
"When did the drinking rules change"?
UM,maybe because your knees look like raw hamburger all the time from falling down. Well, maybe because you took out a mailbox on the opposite side of the road and a nice trooper put you in hancuffs. I don't know these are just hunches !
Add 1 more,
"when I go to AA meetings it makes me want to drink afterwards"
Okay, she actually did say it once.
"You'll never meet anyone like me"!
Don't think I actually replied until a lot later-years-but I think she remembered saying it.
Facebook has these snarky status messages:
"You'll never meet anyone like me" -"Yes, that's the point"
She got upset when I posted that up as my 'status', probably remembering that she'd actually used that line on me.
Or maybe she thought I was actually referring to her, which I may have been, but the comeback was too clever to pass up.
"You'll never meet anyone like me"!
Don't think I actually replied until a lot later-years-but I think she remembered saying it.
Facebook has these snarky status messages:
"You'll never meet anyone like me" -"Yes, that's the point"
She got upset when I posted that up as my 'status', probably remembering that she'd actually used that line on me.
Or maybe she thought I was actually referring to her, which I may have been, but the comeback was too clever to pass up.
'alcoholism was invented by the Americans to sell books'.
I never heard that until I got on this forum.
I love it.
Yeah, it's alllllll about book sales.
Surely, books make more money than booze does!
I went through a phase of buying a lot of alcohol related books and this comment came about when another 'Amazon' parcel had arrived for me. His comment that left me in histerics was pre-empted by 'I suppose thats another book about me is it' and 'I bet its been written by an American'.
Eight Ball, I have to give your A credit for creativity, at least! I am in hysterics now.
My ABF never claimed that alcoholism didn't exist. He was always talking about how horrible his father's alcoholism was, and always talking about this guy at work who is a big proponent of AA and talks about it and his story to anyone who will listen. (Great guy, and a friend of G's.)
Problem is, it never applies to him.
"Yeah, well (the guy at work) is a real alcoholic. I mean, he got fired, and got his wife to become an alcoholic, and I'm not like that! I drink too much, I know that, but I'll stop!"
If only he truly realized the things he put me through. Thank goodness for a childhood gag reflex to Robitussin (I cannot take the taste of alcohol or vinegar, I literally gag), or I may have joined him at one point.
My ABF never claimed that alcoholism didn't exist. He was always talking about how horrible his father's alcoholism was, and always talking about this guy at work who is a big proponent of AA and talks about it and his story to anyone who will listen. (Great guy, and a friend of G's.)
Problem is, it never applies to him.
"Yeah, well (the guy at work) is a real alcoholic. I mean, he got fired, and got his wife to become an alcoholic, and I'm not like that! I drink too much, I know that, but I'll stop!"
If only he truly realized the things he put me through. Thank goodness for a childhood gag reflex to Robitussin (I cannot take the taste of alcohol or vinegar, I literally gag), or I may have joined him at one point.
My AH's dad was an alcoholic and he has acknowledged this. My AH even had a short period of sobriety (following his dads untimely death) when he went to AA and a psychotherapist and often admits that he is an alcoholic.
He had relapsed and relapsed straight back into denial when he said it.
This piece of work truly was quacking at its best.
I am a migraine sufferer and have just found another of my triggers is alcohol. I drink very rarely, only to be socialble, maybe one beer/g+t at a work function and every time I have alcohol, I get a migraine shortly after.
He had relapsed and relapsed straight back into denial when he said it.
This piece of work truly was quacking at its best.
Thank goodness for a childhood gag reflex to Robitussin (I cannot take the taste of alcohol or vinegar, I literally gag
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 281
Ah yes, the quacks! Where to start? My ex A says things like "I'm a man. Men like to drink after a hard day's work" (Mind you, he's lost his job/s due to his drinking). Whenever the subject of alcoholism comes up, he attempts to deflect to my dad "How about your father? He left YOU". and "Why don't you talk to your dad. Have you ever asked him why he left?" (my dad is a RA and in AA. Ex A's dad is an active A)
Another one (will sound familiar to many...) "I'm nothing like those people in AA".
When ex was sober for a period of time, saying he was "working the program" but wasn't, he'd say things like "It's a selfish program. I come first!", with a smirk on his face. He loved using that one! He was already a selfish person, it was always all about him, but then to get 'permission' from rehab to be even more selfish, he ran with it! I understand where the psychs etc were coming from, as we all know we need to put ourselves first when we're in recovery, but as a 'dry drunk', he used it to be even more selfish and controlling.
Eight ball, those quacks about the Americans are a classic!
Another one (will sound familiar to many...) "I'm nothing like those people in AA".
When ex was sober for a period of time, saying he was "working the program" but wasn't, he'd say things like "It's a selfish program. I come first!", with a smirk on his face. He loved using that one! He was already a selfish person, it was always all about him, but then to get 'permission' from rehab to be even more selfish, he ran with it! I understand where the psychs etc were coming from, as we all know we need to put ourselves first when we're in recovery, but as a 'dry drunk', he used it to be even more selfish and controlling.
Eight ball, those quacks about the Americans are a classic!
yeah, that was his excuse for never going back. At the time though I was so beat down by the lies he told me about what my sister and mom had been saying about me(he told me the AA crap the day after I moved back in) that I just let it go.
I so wish I'd been strong enough to stay out last fall. But I AM doing it this time.
I so wish I'd been strong enough to stay out last fall. But I AM doing it this time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 94
'You drink too! maybe you have a problem too! i relaspsed because YOU didnt stop drinking! YOU didnt help me' umm, so i was supposed to stop meeting my friends for a glass of wine? and this particulalry pissed me off because I NEVER drank in the house, even before he went to rehab!
'i started drinking again because you left' sorry, other way around pal
'yes I need $50 every day for work...I need money for food' where? Peter Lugers steakhouse?
'i was thirsty and theres nothing else to drink in this house, i dont like your diet coke or tap water' this was after waking up in the middle of the night and guzzling a beer
'i started drinking again because you left' sorry, other way around pal
'yes I need $50 every day for work...I need money for food' where? Peter Lugers steakhouse?
'i was thirsty and theres nothing else to drink in this house, i dont like your diet coke or tap water' this was after waking up in the middle of the night and guzzling a beer
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 174
I've heard almost all of these in our household.
lately he has been saying: "You just need to tell me what to do!" Then later he says, "I always have to do what you ask me to do and I am sick of living this way! I am finding my own place..."
"You need to tell me if you want to be with me or not! I don't like this relationship of you spending all my money when I go to work everyday. (I am in school and have two little ones) And his idea of a good relationship is just sex, "We don't need counseling, which is just someone telling you what you want to hear or I don't need AA because I know what to do"..I told him to quit asking because it ain't happenin. His response is, "Well how come we only do it when YOU want to, that is unfair" (As in my eyes we are separated but having to live in the same house and I told him that)
lately he has been saying: "You just need to tell me what to do!" Then later he says, "I always have to do what you ask me to do and I am sick of living this way! I am finding my own place..."
"You need to tell me if you want to be with me or not! I don't like this relationship of you spending all my money when I go to work everyday. (I am in school and have two little ones) And his idea of a good relationship is just sex, "We don't need counseling, which is just someone telling you what you want to hear or I don't need AA because I know what to do"..I told him to quit asking because it ain't happenin. His response is, "Well how come we only do it when YOU want to, that is unfair" (As in my eyes we are separated but having to live in the same house and I told him that)
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