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QUACKERs....

Old 04-23-2011, 09:09 AM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GettingBy View Post
GOOD GOD.... this is exactly the line AH used about two months ago. He goes out drinking wine with clients instead of beer with his biker buddies. So in his mind, its better drinking, more mature and responsible.

To me.... he graduated to a high-brow drunk... but bad news buddy, you didn't escape the drunk part.

It's like polishing a turd, you can do whatever you want to make it look nice.... but I got bad news.... its still a turd.

I call this the "trying to make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t" phenomenon.

My STBXAH tried to use the wine as a way to keep drinking, too. "BUT WHAT ABOUT WINE?? I LIKE A GLASS (or 6) WITH DINNER!" Yeah, whatever you say, Mr. Wine Conesseiur.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:14 PM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Tonight I got the biggest quack. The good news I saw it coming and knew it when it came. I didn't have to think twice I knew it was classic quackery!

"If I stop drinking and smoking, my face will change. I've know it will change and I think, well... my mind will go to a different place. You see, when I stop drinking and smoking all the ladies like my face and they follow me. Nice looking ladies. And that's why I can't stop drinking and smoking. I've tried before. The ladies will come after me."

Yes I kept a straight face.

But we did talk about him leaving and I didn't back down and I made the knot in my stomach relax... a little. The whole conversation went between everything being my fault or he was a victim,,, I kept my face straight and didn't let him lay it on me one way or another. Yet and still he was drunk... so it really to me meant nothing. I normally don't talk to drunks.
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Old 04-28-2011, 09:39 PM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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Yes. Avoiding the ladies. That is always a valid reason to keep drinking.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:05 PM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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OMG, Oceaneyes, how did you keep a straight face?
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:08 PM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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This thread is great, i'm glad people are still posting on it. I am planning on using it for reference if I get in a funk about leaving my ExABF. Every week or so, i have a few hours of sadness when I think about it (still creeps in once in a while), and seeing these phrases, many of which he used, reminds me how sick he was, and he much sicker he was going to become. When my head is clearer, I look forward to adding to this list, I know he had some gems, I just can't think of them right now.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:27 PM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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The best one Ive had was today..

After drinking a 5th of whiskey or vodka everyday for 2 years starting at 8am
$10 grand rehab, AA & sponsor, moved away, lost the family

And he says."QUACK"..So now you think just because I have 2 beers, you think Im a alcoholic?
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:15 PM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Here's a good QUACK for the unsuspecting ladies in our town-the EX is now "out there" on Plenty of Fish and Zoosk about 2 weeks after we broke up (OK, I snooped) and according to one profile, he is separated, the other he is single; both profiles indicate he drinks "socially." That had me laughing till tears ran down my face........
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:01 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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oh the ladies!!! :rotfxko
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:44 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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I'm loving this thread.


Here are some of my AP's quackier moments:

"I don't want to go to AA. People that go to AA don't drink AT ALL, and I don't want to stop drinking completely.. I just want to know how to control it."


"I just wanted to let you know that I went to the shops today and I bought a new game for my PS3. I really wanted to go to the bottleshop and buy alcohol, but I didn't (mind you, I can hear him slur). I mean, the game cost $x amount, and I thought about how many bottles of alcohol I could have bought instead, but I still just got the game."


Me: Give me the car keys.
AP: Why?
Me: Because you've been drinking.
AP: No I haven't...
Me: Yes you have, I can tell by your behaviour (he was slurring his words, argumentative, unable to walk straight, eyes bloodshot..)
AP: How come every time I act a little bit different, people always assume that I've been drinking.. I'm over it!


AP: I will stop drinking the day that my mum stops assuming that I'm going to come home drunk.
Me: You don't think you should try and prove to her first that you can stop drinking so she stops assuming?
AP: No, she just needs to not think I'm going to come home drunk... then I'll stop drinking.

(To this day, that conversation still confuses me...)


"You used to let me drive your car by myself all the time, now because I've been drunk a few times I can't drive it on my own anymore?" (Um, being sober 1 MAYBE 2 days a week is not a "few" times. Also my car insurance does not cover "crash due to alcoholism".)


"If you don't let me drive your car, I'm just going to drink more. I don't drink when I drive your car."


"Why would I drink and drive? I've had multiple DUI's and if I get caught again, I will definitely go straight to jail. I'm not that stupid."


"I want to stop drinking, but I don't want to have to do anything to stop. I can't be bothered." (Still WTFing about this one, too)


"I didn't say that I wouldn't have a drink, I said that I wouldn't go to the liquor store. I had that bottle of vodka since the beginning of the weekend." (Took all my will power not to break his nose at this point.)


Me: I can't control you when you've had a few drinks.
AP: Yes you can, if I'm saying or doing something you don't like, you have to be really forceful with me and I'll stop.


AP: (Talking about a conversation we were having the other night) I don't remember saying that..
Me: That's because you were drunk.
AP: Whether I have been drinking or not has nothing to do with me remembering things. I forget things all the time.

(Um yeah, but not ENTIRE conversations)


I have a million more, as I remember them I will post.. my AP is a comedian without even realising it. Too bad the joke's on him.
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:50 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by OceanEyes21 View Post
Tonight I got the biggest quack. The good news I saw it coming and knew it when it came. I didn't have to think twice I knew it was classic quackery!

"If I stop drinking and smoking, my face will change. I've know it will change and I think, well... my mind will go to a different place. You see, when I stop drinking and smoking all the ladies like my face and they follow me. Nice looking ladies. And that's why I can't stop drinking and smoking. I've tried before. The ladies will come after me."

Yes I kept a straight face.
HOW did you keep a straight face?! I can't even breathe right now I'm laughing so much!

For some reason I am envisioning him cowering in fear of the "ladies", possibly wearing a tin foil hat to protect his brain from electromagnetic fields... just to add that extra touch of ridiculous.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:58 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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Here's one for yah.

Me: Why isn't DS in bed?
AW: Mommy hasth oreos.

:crazy
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:02 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tinabanina View Post
Me: I can't control you when you've had a few drinks.
AP: Yes you can, if I'm saying or doing something you don't like, you have to be really forceful with me and I'll stop.
Oh gosh, how many times did he try to tell me I was the one responsible for making sure he never drank?

"You didn't remind me that I don't want to drink anymore!"

"But I still drank today! Obviously you weren't forceful enough!"

"I'm not going to AA! I'm not an addict! And all those people in AA are addicts! They're all addicted to meetings and coffee! They just go to meetings all week! I'm not giving up our weekends for that! You want to cancel our whole vacation, so I can be one of the AA-guys?"

"Thanks for going to Al-Anon for me, StarCat, but I'm never going to drink ever again, so you don't have to go anymore! Isn't that great?!?!?"

"You're making an ******* out of me!"
As he's stumbling, drunk, across the parking lot at work, screaming obscenities in my direction, while I'm just casually walking back to my desk and saying hello politely to the people I pass while heading inside.
No, XABF, I think you're doing that all by yourself.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:04 AM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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You're making an ******* out of me!"
As he's stumbling, drunk, across the parking lot at work, screaming obscenities in my direction, while I'm just casually walking back to my desk and saying hello politely to the people I pass while heading inside.
No, XABF, I think you're doing that all by yourself.
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So true!
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:40 AM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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It was quite a sight.

XABF, stumbling, can't even see straight, slurring his words, the silhouette of a half-pint whiskey bottle visible in his pocket, his shirt only buttoned halfway up because when he's drunk he tends to decide it's choking him and unbuttons them one at a time, with the front bottom of his shirt hanging out and the back of his shirt tucked into his underwear (so now it's showing - a lot), one hand holding up his pants (because even with a belt they never stayed on anymore), the other one randomly grasping at cars for support so he doesn't fall flat on his drunken behind.

That's the face of addiction.

That's why I can't be mad at him anymore.
Who could be mad at someone who looks that hopeless?
I hope he finds the courage to get the help he really needs.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:50 AM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Quacking... people claiming to focus on their own recovery (AH, others) and repeatedly pointing out to me all I am doing wrong with mine. For far too long I defended and tried to prove to AH how what he was saying wasn't accurate and all that did was fuel his fire.

If AH were really in recovery and wanted to share HIS ESH that would be great. Quacking on a pedastal to avoid looking at yourself-- not so much.

Particularly when it's done while he's drunk and claiming how recovered he is!
:rotfxko
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:09 AM
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For months now I've told AH that he has diarrhea of the mouth, talk, talk and more talk about nothing so now I just ignore him and he screams at me, "shut the f*** up!". I'm not making this up and it has happened a number of times!
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:56 AM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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Oh my...My hubby has had tons of these.

I was just drinking 'cause I was stressed/bored/relaxing/happy/sad/etc. (you mean...awake?)

I only had 2 shots. (2 minutes later). It was just 5 shots! (2 minutes later). I didn't think you'd get so mad about 3 shots! (2 minutes later). You get the point. (maybe write the number on your hand so you can keep your story straight next time?)

If you didn't nag me so much about my drinking, I wouldn't drink so much.

When you ask me if I've been drinking, then I feel like I have to go drink!

I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you. I drink. It's what I do. Deal with it.

I was like this when you met me, so don't go trying to change me now!

I don't think I have a problem. I go to work and still have a license and all that! (yeah, you've gotten drunk at work how many times? And how much did that DUI cost? And how many times have you driven drunk and just not gotten caught?? Uh huh...).

That was just a bad night. It isn't always like that! (right...cause the other ones you were too drunk to remember the next day!)

There are SO many more, but I feel like my IQ is dropping with each one I type so I'll leave it at that. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who is "lucky" enough to hear these lines though!
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:11 PM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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GEE...(i knew my A was actively drinking, even though he denies it)I was in AL ANON and i got...

A: "you know? you seriously have a big problem, you seriously need HELP"

and yes i did have a big problem and with the help of AL ANON... he finally LEFT! (it proved IT(my AL ANON recovery) was not working for him anymore....LOL)!!
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:27 PM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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I think I might have gotten my suspicions that he wasn't really in recovery validated the day he got mad at me and said "So before you get up on that high horse of yours, maybe you should consider this: Why did your husband feel a need to drink? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with your complete and utter failure to be an even passable excuse for a wife?"

Um... I'm on a horse. And I'm fine. And the horse isn't high. You are.
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Old 05-15-2011, 07:01 AM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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sometimes, i just have to bump and read this again...laughing and shaking my head!
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