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DAY 90 - Against the Grain

Posted 03-29-2019 at 11:54 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Feeling pretty fantastic today! I don't post on my blog anymore because I feel like I have overcome so much and don't need this outlet to process all those crazy emotions. I am so strong now. I faced so much head on, I climbed the biggest mountain, reached the top, and I feel alive. I feel like a brand new person. I am terrified to go back to my old drinking habits, and that is basically what keeps me sober.

What it means to me to be sober is that I am not drinking socially,...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 38 - Facebook

Posted 02-05-2019 at 07:42 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

The past few weeks I have focused on the relationships that I have with my daughters. I am so grateful that they are responding well to sober Mom, and it is the fuel to my fire.

I don't ever make an effort to visit with my mom. She lives 10 miles from me. Although my youngest 14 y/o daughter was spending most of the weekends at my mom's house with her cousins, she hasn't been over there since I stopped drinking. It's been about 5 weekends in a row. My mom is very emotionally...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 23 - Sober Pet Owner

Posted 01-21-2019 at 09:20 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 01-21-2019 at 10:30 AM by LoveHateMerlot

I had lunch with my oldest sister yesterday, she is 8 years older than me. Growing up, she has always been my best friend. We laugh so hard we cry. We usually spent every single weekend together, lots of drinking. As time went by, we got older, alcohol became more and more a problem for us both. She had spent 30 days in rehab and I tried to quit on my own.

The past year our relationship has been a little rocky. I had been hurt by broken promises and she had been hurt by me...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Day 21 - ACTION!

Posted 01-19-2019 at 10:27 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

3 weeks sober today!

The cravings at night are not as intense as the first week, but they are still here. I am well aware that I will have cravings for alcohol for the rest of my life. I will have good days, and there will be plenty of bad days ahead. I will always be an alcoholic, that part will never go away. I am wired to be an addict to the end of my life. I take it one day at a time and make a strong plan of what I will say and do before I am in a situation where alcohol...
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Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 18 - Marriage - An Alcoholic's Perspective

Posted 01-16-2019 at 08:36 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Communication, forgiveness, kindness, compassion, respect, and trust; the absence of these attributes are detrimental to a marriage. Both parties should be trying their best every day to act on these characteristics for a healthy relationship.

I have been drunk so many times in the past 15 years of our relationship, too many to count, and I beat myself up for that each day. My husband is a very sensitive, loving, gentle, and kind man. He is my balance and he is my rock. I am...
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