Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 193
Originally Posted by BrightenMeUp 
Thank You!
I do have melatonin, anything I should know about that like morning fatigue or any other side affects? I've been meaning to try it but just haven't opened the bottle yet.
I do have melatonin, anything I should know about that like morning fatigue or any other side affects? I've been meaning to try it but just haven't opened the bottle yet.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Hello class and newcomers!
Day 7 and it feels good to have the first week behind me. Still feeling pretty angsty, but I had a CBT session today and talked it over.
Exploring the whys of drinking has been helpful. I’ve always been addicted to something - self harm, cigs, weed, alcohol; just always maladaptive coping mechanisms. I’m working on “checking in” instead of “checking out.” I always give 110% of myself to everyone and everything else. I thought it’s what made me feel good about myself. Mostly I’ve realized it’s just codependency. Putting my self-value onto other people. I’ve always thought I was a pretty sensitive person, but it turns out I know zilch about emotions/feelings and how to identify and work through them. To me, it’s just been anxious and not anxious. Numb or not numb. Joy, excitement, nervousness, sadness, anger; it’s all wrapped up into one manifested into physical anxiety. When anything resembling a feeling comes up, my first instinct is to shut it down (apparently PTSD related from a traumatic childhood).
So instead of shutting down or looking for something external to numb, I’ve been sitting with and working through things. It’s been enlightening and terrifying. But I have to get through it to come out on the other side a better person who can show my kids emotional intelligence and not have them repeat the cycle.
Great work to everyone! Even if you’re struggling or have relapsed, you’re still here and still trying. Be proud. Make the changes and adjustments you need to not to get tripped up again. We’re stronger than this. We can do it. Reach out and ask for help if you need it.
Day 7 and it feels good to have the first week behind me. Still feeling pretty angsty, but I had a CBT session today and talked it over.
Exploring the whys of drinking has been helpful. I’ve always been addicted to something - self harm, cigs, weed, alcohol; just always maladaptive coping mechanisms. I’m working on “checking in” instead of “checking out.” I always give 110% of myself to everyone and everything else. I thought it’s what made me feel good about myself. Mostly I’ve realized it’s just codependency. Putting my self-value onto other people. I’ve always thought I was a pretty sensitive person, but it turns out I know zilch about emotions/feelings and how to identify and work through them. To me, it’s just been anxious and not anxious. Numb or not numb. Joy, excitement, nervousness, sadness, anger; it’s all wrapped up into one manifested into physical anxiety. When anything resembling a feeling comes up, my first instinct is to shut it down (apparently PTSD related from a traumatic childhood).
So instead of shutting down or looking for something external to numb, I’ve been sitting with and working through things. It’s been enlightening and terrifying. But I have to get through it to come out on the other side a better person who can show my kids emotional intelligence and not have them repeat the cycle.
Great work to everyone! Even if you’re struggling or have relapsed, you’re still here and still trying. Be proud. Make the changes and adjustments you need to not to get tripped up again. We’re stronger than this. We can do it. Reach out and ask for help if you need it.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Layali
For a lot of people, Melatonin can cause depression. Just throwing that out there. Magnesium has helped me a ton though. Sorry I think you were asking someone else but just thought I'd say something.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Layali
For a lot of people, Melatonin can cause depression. Just throwing that out there. Magnesium has helped me a ton though. Sorry I think you were asking someone else but just thought I'd say something.
Don't be sorry I will listen and take whatever advice I can get and be thankful to anyone here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 193
Hi everyone. I'm just at the end of day one, for no codeine pills or any other stupid drugs. The bad thing is that my ED behaviours have reared their ugly head (heads?) and now I am almost finding my food issues harder to get under control than my drug problem. 
So.....maybe I will be able to stay clean but I doubt it's very healthy to be abusing food the way I have been abusing it these past few days. Of course, I now sadly keep thinking that if I take something (T1's, etc) then I can keep my appetite in check for a little while. But no, I can't do that. Tomorrow morning I'm trying St Johns Wort for the first time. So I will need to eat something in the morning (this morning I ate nothing, nothing all day until the evening when I binged - not good) I really should focus on being healthy. All around healthy.
Anyway so tomorrow morning I will say I have gone 1 day clean. I never know how to count these things like tomorrow is day 2, but also will have been 1 day. I'll figure it out eventually. I remember I had this issue when I quit drinking too, haha.
Anyway I hope everyone is doing well. I still have to read up on what has been going on. I've been away for awhile...
So.....maybe I will be able to stay clean but I doubt it's very healthy to be abusing food the way I have been abusing it these past few days. Of course, I now sadly keep thinking that if I take something (T1's, etc) then I can keep my appetite in check for a little while. But no, I can't do that. Tomorrow morning I'm trying St Johns Wort for the first time. So I will need to eat something in the morning (this morning I ate nothing, nothing all day until the evening when I binged - not good) I really should focus on being healthy. All around healthy.
Anyway so tomorrow morning I will say I have gone 1 day clean. I never know how to count these things like tomorrow is day 2, but also will have been 1 day. I'll figure it out eventually. I remember I had this issue when I quit drinking too, haha.
Anyway I hope everyone is doing well. I still have to read up on what has been going on. I've been away for awhile...
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by BrightenMeUp
Thank You!
I do have melatonin, anything I should know about that like morning fatigue or any other side affects? I've been meaning to try it but just haven't opened the bottle yet.
I do have melatonin, anything I should know about that like morning fatigue or any other side affects? I've been meaning to try it but just haven't opened the bottle yet.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 193
Also if anyone is having issues with sleep, passionflower has helped me. I take that for anxiety, but in the evening it has helped me relax and sleep. For Melatonin, I have been advised to start with a small dose like 1mg and then work up from there, since it's actually quite powerful. It didn't make me groggy (Valerian did though) but it did give depression after awhile. I also bought these two teas for sleep - I haven't tried them yet - but they look like they have pretty great ingredients. Like passionflower, hops, skullcap, chamomile, etc. I can tell you what they're called if you like? I feel like I should add that I'm not telling people what to do/take, but what I have personally been told and what worked for me...
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Layali
Hi everyone. I'm just at the end of day one, for no codeine pills or any other stupid drugs. The bad thing is that my ED behaviours have reared their ugly head (heads?) and now I am almost finding my food issues harder to get under control than my drug problem.
So.....maybe I will be able to stay clean but I doubt it's very healthy to be abusing food the way I have been abusing it these past few days. Of course, I now sadly keep thinking that if I take something (T1's, etc) then I can keep my appetite in check for a little while. But no, I can't do that. Tomorrow morning I'm trying St Johns Wort for the first time. So I will need to eat something in the morning (this morning I ate nothing, nothing all day until the evening when I binged - not good) I really should focus on being healthy. All around healthy.
Anyway so tomorrow morning I will say I have gone 1 day clean. I never know how to count these things like tomorrow is day 2, but also will have been 1 day. I'll figure it out eventually. I remember I had this issue when I quit drinking too, haha.
Anyway I hope everyone is doing well. I still have to read up on what has been going on. I've been away for awhile...
So.....maybe I will be able to stay clean but I doubt it's very healthy to be abusing food the way I have been abusing it these past few days. Of course, I now sadly keep thinking that if I take something (T1's, etc) then I can keep my appetite in check for a little while. But no, I can't do that. Tomorrow morning I'm trying St Johns Wort for the first time. So I will need to eat something in the morning (this morning I ate nothing, nothing all day until the evening when I binged - not good) I really should focus on being healthy. All around healthy.
Anyway so tomorrow morning I will say I have gone 1 day clean. I never know how to count these things like tomorrow is day 2, but also will have been 1 day. I'll figure it out eventually. I remember I had this issue when I quit drinking too, haha.
Anyway I hope everyone is doing well. I still have to read up on what has been going on. I've been away for awhile...
Do you have any supports in place for the ED?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Meditation, etc.
Originally Posted by charliesworld
Good morning. Happy weekend. I hope everyone managed to get some decent sleep.
Linners I'm jealous you live near the sea. I would love that. My favourite thing to do is get out away from everything and walk. I live in a city and there's some green space close to me but not loads. One day I would love to move to the countryside or the coast. It's not possible now.
Brand new life - I completely agree with smells. I love having a scented candle or melt on the go in my house. Feels so cosy.
Julia - I am nearly 40. I'd love to have a sober second half of life.
I've been pondering what caused my last drink. I'm worried about work. I crave financial security because I've never had it for any period of time. My OH is working but he was out of work for a long long time before this job. I don't earn enough to support the whole family so we got in a lot of debt while he wasn't working. Problem is this job is far from secure. The company closing down and everyone being made redundant is constantly hanging over him even though he's been there a year. I'm self employed and things have been really quiet for me and the what if he loses his job again is really playing on my mind. In my job I should be earning loads and I constantly see others in the same profession saying how busy they are. My self esteem in this respect is really low and it had been playing on my mind a lot. When I found out my OH was going to be working away I made the decision there and then that I would drink and I looked forward to it all week. What I'd forgotten was my inability to stop once I'd started and that was how it spilled over for another 2 days. 3 days after that I'm still feeling the consequences.
Another thing is that I replaced the booze with food and although I really want to lose weight I can't seem to stop eating junk food - it makes me lethargic and tired and then I can sleep. I'm running a half marathon next week, I've completely missed out on all training for it this last week. I thought I'd be slimmer by now but I'm still just a fatty running.
I completely acknowledge that I use drinking as a means to stop thinking and to feel better. Something I've done since I was a teenager. It's hard though when I feel I've tried everything else to feel better and nothing has worked. I'd really like to try meditation but find it very difficult to switch off. How has it been working for you Julia?
Linners I'm jealous you live near the sea. I would love that. My favourite thing to do is get out away from everything and walk. I live in a city and there's some green space close to me but not loads. One day I would love to move to the countryside or the coast. It's not possible now.
Brand new life - I completely agree with smells. I love having a scented candle or melt on the go in my house. Feels so cosy.
Julia - I am nearly 40. I'd love to have a sober second half of life.
I've been pondering what caused my last drink. I'm worried about work. I crave financial security because I've never had it for any period of time. My OH is working but he was out of work for a long long time before this job. I don't earn enough to support the whole family so we got in a lot of debt while he wasn't working. Problem is this job is far from secure. The company closing down and everyone being made redundant is constantly hanging over him even though he's been there a year. I'm self employed and things have been really quiet for me and the what if he loses his job again is really playing on my mind. In my job I should be earning loads and I constantly see others in the same profession saying how busy they are. My self esteem in this respect is really low and it had been playing on my mind a lot. When I found out my OH was going to be working away I made the decision there and then that I would drink and I looked forward to it all week. What I'd forgotten was my inability to stop once I'd started and that was how it spilled over for another 2 days. 3 days after that I'm still feeling the consequences.
Another thing is that I replaced the booze with food and although I really want to lose weight I can't seem to stop eating junk food - it makes me lethargic and tired and then I can sleep. I'm running a half marathon next week, I've completely missed out on all training for it this last week. I thought I'd be slimmer by now but I'm still just a fatty running.
I completely acknowledge that I use drinking as a means to stop thinking and to feel better. Something I've done since I was a teenager. It's hard though when I feel I've tried everything else to feel better and nothing has worked. I'd really like to try meditation but find it very difficult to switch off. How has it been working for you Julia?
I can definitely relate to work stress and definitely low self esteem. One of the things I've learned with meditation is that nearly all of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves are not true. We make them up. I'm not an expert yogi or anything, but I did take a Mindfullness Based Stress Relief class (MBSR 8 week class) a year and a half ago and after regular meditation for a month or so I had a real profound realization that's hard to explain with words- I can only say that for a moment I experienced the hugest sense of relief I've ever felt. Of course I was still drinking at the time, so it became harder and harder to find time for meditation after the class ended. (I would actually have a glass of wine or two before the class. Hah! I'm just now realizing how hard I was trying to fix myself without addressing the biggest thing) I'm on day 9 now, and I've been meditating, but have found it a bit more difficult. I guess because my mind is working away at a faster clip (some call it anxiety I guess). I tried to post a link to some guided meditations that are MBSR based but the forum won't let me. Just google MBSR guided audio meditations UCSD. I recommend starting with the body scan meditation. Also, if you get a chance to take the 8 week class, it's pretty helpful, but not necessary. I think it's so sad how so many of us drink because we hurt and hurt because we believe thoughts that aren't even true. Okay, well hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Also, I've learned that you have to be non judgemental with yourself when meditating. If you get frustrated because you're not able to clear your mind, you miss the point. If you REALIZE your mind is following thoughts, that's really good. You are observing that your mind is generating thoughts. Just observe with non judgement. Eventually, you'll see that the you that's observing the thoughts is your true self, and the chatter is just what makes life hard. Either memories of the past, or thoughts about the future. It isn't real.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
My meds have insomnia as a side effect so I've been using melatonin for a while now Layali - I'm at 4mgs.
I had to see my Dr about it because you can;t get melatonin here locally without a script, but I always run supplements past my Dr anyway to rule out any nasty interactions with others meds etc.]
it works pretty well 95% of the time for me.
D
I had to see my Dr about it because you can;t get melatonin here locally without a script, but I always run supplements past my Dr anyway to rule out any nasty interactions with others meds etc.]
it works pretty well 95% of the time for me.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,280
Originally Posted by Layali
Also if anyone is having issues with sleep, passionflower has helped me. I take that for anxiety, but in the evening it has helped me relax and sleep. For Melatonin, I have been advised to start with a small dose like 1mg and then work up from there, since it's actually quite powerful. It didn't make me groggy (Valerian did though) but it did give depression after awhile. I also bought these two teas for sleep - I haven't tried them yet - but they look like they have pretty great ingredients. Like passionflower, hops, skullcap, chamomile, etc. I can tell you what they're called if you like? I feel like I should add that I'm not telling people what to do/take, but what I have personally been told and what worked for me...
Isn't passion flower great, a fantastic anxiolytic and so calming.. I have a mix with valerian as well which I like but I don't need to take it anymore, the best tincture I took is similar to ur tea but also with marshmallow and lemon balm..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: SE USA
Posts: 46
Morning all. Start of day 4 here. Been awhile since I have been able to say that.
Zenyata. Hang in there. 54 years old here and a 3-4 day a week binge drinker for the past 20 years. I have had a couple of stints where I quit for 1-2 year periods, but was back at it hard the past few months. Beer is my poison (the strong stuff), but poison nonetheles less. I am determined to make this stick this time...
Stubbs congrats on 3 days. Onward. Welcome Boone , Red and all newcomers. This is a great class.
Did not feel good yesterday after a long and stressful day at work. My usual fall back would be to come home, plop my butt on the chair and have a beer. I went to the gym instead for a couple of hours and ate a healthy dinner. Exercise seems to be making my sleep a lot better.
Danger zone today for me. Big meeting at work I am leading. I can already hear my AV saying, “BC, you did so well at work. You have been been good this week. Why not reward yourself with a drink?” F’ U AV. I plan to follow the same plan today as yesterday, starting with meditation and prayer this morning.
Have a good day class. BC.
Zenyata. Hang in there. 54 years old here and a 3-4 day a week binge drinker for the past 20 years. I have had a couple of stints where I quit for 1-2 year periods, but was back at it hard the past few months. Beer is my poison (the strong stuff), but poison nonetheles less. I am determined to make this stick this time...
Stubbs congrats on 3 days. Onward. Welcome Boone , Red and all newcomers. This is a great class.
Did not feel good yesterday after a long and stressful day at work. My usual fall back would be to come home, plop my butt on the chair and have a beer. I went to the gym instead for a couple of hours and ate a healthy dinner. Exercise seems to be making my sleep a lot better.
Danger zone today for me. Big meeting at work I am leading. I can already hear my AV saying, “BC, you did so well at work. You have been been good this week. Why not reward yourself with a drink?” F’ U AV. I plan to follow the same plan today as yesterday, starting with meditation and prayer this morning.
Have a good day class. BC.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Morning friends. Had a horrible night of sleeping, couldnt get to.sleep, couldnt stay asleep, had horrible nightmares when I did manage to get some. I choose not to use any sleep aids, because Im on meds, and even tho the pharmacist said some are ok, I prefer a good natural sleep. Plus, Im allergic to so many things. Guess I will just tough it out. But glad for those that can take them, and get sleep! Its so important, especially in early days,not to become sleep deprived.
Went to my grandsons fall concert last pm. Thing is, his parents didnt even tell me about it! We dont have a very good relationship with them, but its not because of my drinking. Anyways, it was nice.
Im feeling out of sorts today. Its so weird, how my mood, emotions fluctuate. I know thats expected tho. Need to level out. Lets stay sober today!
Went to my grandsons fall concert last pm. Thing is, his parents didnt even tell me about it! We dont have a very good relationship with them, but its not because of my drinking. Anyways, it was nice.
Im feeling out of sorts today. Its so weird, how my mood, emotions fluctuate. I know thats expected tho. Need to level out. Lets stay sober today!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Originally Posted by Boracraze
Morning all. Start of day 4 here. Been awhile since I have been able to say that.
Zenyata. Hang in there. 54 years old here and a 3-4 day a week binge drinker for the past 20 years. I have had a couple of stints where I quit for 1-2 year periods, but was back at it hard the past few months. Beer is my poison (the strong stuff), but poison nonetheles less. I am determined to make this stick this time...
Stubbs congrats on 3 days. Onward. Welcome Boone , Red and all newcomers. This is a great class.
Did not feel good yesterday after a long and stressful day at work. My usual fall back would be to come home, plop my butt on the chair and have a beer. I went to the gym instead for a couple of hours and ate a healthy dinner. Exercise seems to be making my sleep a lot better.
Danger zone today for me. Big meeting at work I am leading. I can already hear my AV saying, “BC, you did so well at work. You have been been good this week. Why not reward yourself with a drink?” F’ U AV. I plan to follow the same plan today as yesterday, starting with meditation and prayer this morning.
Have a good day class. BC.
Zenyata. Hang in there. 54 years old here and a 3-4 day a week binge drinker for the past 20 years. I have had a couple of stints where I quit for 1-2 year periods, but was back at it hard the past few months. Beer is my poison (the strong stuff), but poison nonetheles less. I am determined to make this stick this time...
Stubbs congrats on 3 days. Onward. Welcome Boone , Red and all newcomers. This is a great class.
Did not feel good yesterday after a long and stressful day at work. My usual fall back would be to come home, plop my butt on the chair and have a beer. I went to the gym instead for a couple of hours and ate a healthy dinner. Exercise seems to be making my sleep a lot better.
Danger zone today for me. Big meeting at work I am leading. I can already hear my AV saying, “BC, you did so well at work. You have been been good this week. Why not reward yourself with a drink?” F’ U AV. I plan to follow the same plan today as yesterday, starting with meditation and prayer this morning.
Have a good day class. BC.
We are both on day four today. Congrats to u as well!
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Layali
Also if anyone is having issues with sleep, passionflower has helped me. I take that for anxiety, but in the evening it has helped me relax and sleep. For Melatonin, I have been advised to start with a small dose like 1mg and then work up from there, since it's actually quite powerful. It didn't make me groggy (Valerian did though) but it did give depression after awhile. I also bought these two teas for sleep - I haven't tried them yet - but they look like they have pretty great ingredients. Like passionflower, hops, skullcap, chamomile, etc. I can tell you what they're called if you like? I feel like I should add that I'm not telling people what to do/take, but what I have personally been told and what worked for me...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Day 8
Checkin in
It's the morning of day 8 for me. Almost broke down and went back to day 1 last night but I managed to stay strong the best I could.
Had about 3.5 hrs. of sleep. All I can say is thank God I took this week off of my work.
Feeling no better or no worse. Thats about all the energy I have to type. Sorry if my typing is off I usually keep my grammar fairly neat.
Keep the news coming in good or bad, reading here is pretty much whats keepin me on track.
Thanks
Brighten
It's the morning of day 8 for me. Almost broke down and went back to day 1 last night but I managed to stay strong the best I could.
Had about 3.5 hrs. of sleep. All I can say is thank God I took this week off of my work.
Feeling no better or no worse. Thats about all the energy I have to type. Sorry if my typing is off I usually keep my grammar fairly neat.
Keep the news coming in good or bad, reading here is pretty much whats keepin me on track.
Thanks
Brighten
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