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Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1

Old 10-09-2017, 05:11 AM
  # 221 (permalink)  
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Great advice!
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:54 AM
  # 222 (permalink)  
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Hello

Hello everyone. Day 7 for me. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks coming up. My wife frequently travels for work, which has ALWAYS been when I do most of my worst drinking. She's going away for 3 days each of the next 4 weeks. It's easier to get drunk when she's away. I don't have to hide it like I always do. I've become a master at hiding my drinking.

I used to look forward to her leaving on trips so I could get my drink on. It's all I thought about over the weekends b4 she left. Sad....I love her dearly and don't know how a miserable s.o.b like myself won her heart.

She leaves tomorrow and returns Friday. I'm worried, but excited about confronting this demon that's plagued me my entire adult life. I've been in denial for decades. I have finally realized what I've done to myself and ready just live a happy life and not worry about when I'm going to get to drink next.

Enough about me. You all are so great and supportive. What a fantastic community! Great stories of real struggle, determination, triumph and failure are told on these threads.

I will do this. You can too.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:15 AM
  # 223 (permalink)  
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Day 2 here. Really helps to read your thoughts.
Not much to say here except that it's so hard but I never regret waking up sober.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:36 AM
  # 224 (permalink)  
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Thanks, Dee. Sound advice.

Thanks for others sharing perspective as well. It helps to read.

Iím feeling okay today. Just disappointed. Iím off work, so Iím going to take it easy.
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Old 10-09-2017, 10:33 AM
  # 225 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SickBeingTired View Post
Hello everyone. Day 7 for me. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks coming up. My wife frequently travels for work, which has ALWAYS been when I do most of my worst drinking. She's going away for 3 days each of the next 4 weeks. It's easier to get drunk when she's away. I don't have to hide it like I always do. I've become a master at hiding my drinking.

I used to look forward to her leaving on trips so I could get my drink on. It's all I thought about over the weekends b4 she left. Sad....I love her dearly and don't know how a miserable s.o.b like myself won her heart.

She leaves tomorrow and returns Friday. I'm worried, but excited about confronting this demon that's plagued me my entire adult life. I've been in denial for decades. I have finally realized what I've done to myself and ready just live a happy life and not worry about when I'm going to get to drink next.

Enough about me. You all are so great and supportive. What a fantastic community! Great stories of real struggle, determination, triumph and failure are told on these threads.

I will do this. You can too.
Welcome! What do you have planned to do while sheís gone? Do you have any hobbies?
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Old 10-09-2017, 10:56 AM
  # 226 (permalink)  
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First I wanna say that this thread is both amazing and inspirational to me. I am 6 days in of being sober (cold turkey). I tried weaning and tapering but it just didnt work for me as im the type that if I have 1 I need 3 and if I have 3 I need 9 and so on. I am suffering withdrawal right now pretty bad. My insomnia is terrible and I feel like I havent slept in days. Plus anxious and headachy and the works.

Anyway, I have been an alcoholic for a long time and have tried to quit on many occasions, always failed, never made it 3 days. I travel a lot for work and spend many of my nights in hotels. So what does an alcoholic do at a hotel with nothing but time to kill? I drink. Whether to pass time or to forget things, you name it ill find an excuse to drink.

I recently have come to the realization that i'm playing a dangerous game. Whether the damage is to my liver or my social life. No matter the case, I watched so many people around me fall to addiction right along side me. It's so easy to do.

The hardest part for me now is (and I need help with this), is staying away from the drinking life, the people that enable me, the anxiety that pushes me to drink, and all the outside influences that make me wanna grab the bottle.

Right now I am trying to put together a plan to occupy myself for those nights alone at the hotel, the anxious nights and finding things to do to try and defeat the urge.

I am commited this time, I haven't gone 6 days in years. Its gonna be a long hard battle but I know I can do it.

Thanks for listening!!
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Old 10-09-2017, 11:05 AM
  # 227 (permalink)  
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October- Update

This month is going really well, I am 9 days into the month with a total of 16.
Hit up my first meeting in 3 years and 3 months. Finally found one that I like, open and honest. No BS going on.
Still no desire to drink, I haven't had 1 craving at all. The winter months should be pretty easy for me as I don't really do much, I am a homebody.
Summertime will be the true test however if I remaining sober, I will have 9 months under my belt. That is a lot of tools to utilize.

All the important people in my life, the ones I hang out with know what I am going through and are all super supportive. The others that don't know or I haven't kept in touch with, were just using friends and I no longer consider them friends. Their loss, my gain!

Work has been more enjoyable, I mean I am not hungover regreting anything from the night prior.

I have had 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays hangover free with my Son. We kept busy and my temp was in check.

Keep it up ya'll!

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Old 10-09-2017, 11:20 AM
  # 228 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BrightenMeUp View Post
First I wanna say that this thread is both amazing and inspirational to me. I am 6 days in of being sober (cold turkey). I tried weaning and tapering but it just didnt work for me as im the type that if I have 1 I need 3 and if I have 3 I need 9 and so on. I am suffering withdrawal right now pretty bad. My insomnia is terrible and I feel like I havent slept in days. Plus anxious and headachy and the works.

Anyway, I have been an alcoholic for a long time and have tried to quit on many occasions, always failed, never made it 3 days. I travel a lot for work and spend many of my nights in hotels. So what does an alcoholic do at a hotel with nothing but time to kill? I drink. Whether to pass time or to forget things, you name it ill find an excuse to drink.

I recently have come to the realization that i'm playing a dangerous game. Whether the damage is to my liver or my social life. No matter the case, I watched so many people around me fall to addiction right along side me. It's so easy to do.

The hardest part for me now is (and I need help with this), is staying away from the drinking life, the people that enable me, the anxiety that pushes me to drink, and all the outside influences that make me wanna grab the bottle.

Right now I am trying to put together a plan to occupy myself for those nights alone at the hotel, the anxious nights and finding things to do to try and defeat the urge.

I am commited this time, I haven't gone 6 days in years. Its gonna be a long hard battle but I know I can do it.

Thanks for listening!!
Hi Brighten!
Congrats on 6 days! Iím on day 6 too after a relapse. Prior to that I had quit for 2 months, and many more few day, week stretches. Iím determined to make it stick this time. There wasnít even anything that caused me to drink last time. Just got complacent and thought a few sips wouldnít hurt, then just 1 glass, 1 or 2 beers, then of course back to nightly. I finally get that 1 drop is totally off the table.

Iíve always used it to medicate my anxiety as well. It wasnít until I had 30 days of sobriety that my anxiety almost vanished (with the help of cognitive behavior therapy). The alcohol makes my anxiety infinitely worse until I felt like I needed it all the time to function.

I really like the blog Unpickled and her podcast the Bubble Hour.

Could you take an online class or something to pass the time in hotel? Yoga/workout? Go for a swim?
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Old 10-09-2017, 11:21 AM
  # 229 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DreamCatcher17 View Post
This month is going really well, I am 9 days into the month with a total of 16.
Hit up my first meeting in 3 years and 3 months. Finally found one that I like, open and honest. No BS going on.
Still no desire to drink, I haven't had 1 craving at all. The winter months should be pretty easy for me as I don't really do much, I am a homebody.
Summertime will be the true test however if I remaining sober, I will have 9 months under my belt. That is a lot of tools to utilize.

All the important people in my life, the ones I hang out with know what I am going through and are all super supportive. The others that don't know or I haven't kept in touch with, were just using friends and I no longer consider them friends. Their loss, my gain!

Work has been more enjoyable, I mean I am not hungover regreting anything from the night prior.

I have had 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays hangover free with my Son. We kept busy and my temp was in check.

Keep it up ya'll!

Way to go Dreamcatcher!! So glad youíve been able to find a meeting you connect with.
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Old 10-09-2017, 11:30 AM
  # 230 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BrandNewLife View Post
Hi Brighten!
Congrats on 6 days! Iím on day 6 too after a relapse. Prior to that I had quit for 2 months, and many more few day, week stretches. Iím determined to make it stick this time. There wasnít even anything that caused me to drink last time. Just got complacent and thought a few sips wouldnít hurt, then just 1 glass, 1 or 2 beers, then of course back to nightly. I finally get that 1 drop is totally off the table.

Iíve always used it to medicate my anxiety as well. It wasnít until I had 30 days of sobriety that my anxiety almost vanished (with the help of cognitive behavior therapy). The alcohol makes my anxiety infinitely worse until I felt like I needed it all the time to function.

I really like the blog Unpickled and her podcast the Bubble Hour.

Could you take an online class or something to pass the time in hotel? Yoga/workout? Go for a swim?
Hi! And Thank You!
I will definetely check that podcast out. I do workout regularly. Ahh an online class or something is a good idea. My brain is usually fried from my day which usually leads me to alcohol later on to sleep cuz im wired. And everything you say is true, 1 leads to 2 for me then right back to the routine. Im hoping the anxiety goes away some after a month or so considering I make it sober that long.
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Old 10-09-2017, 11:48 AM
  # 231 (permalink)  
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I found that my anxiety began to lift markedly after 5 or so days. Even social anxiety, ironically, since that was one use for alcohol in the beginning.

I was feeling antsy earlier, so got some laundry folded and put away, exercised a bit with some new resistance bands I picked up, and got caught up on bills. The fewer items that are hanging over my head the better. And the exercise helped release some of that nervous energy.
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Old 10-09-2017, 12:24 PM
  # 232 (permalink)  
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I want a drink. Bad. I want to beat this thing, too. I thought having a day off work would make it easier to focus on getting better. But being home with my family all day has been hard. I feel like no matter how much I do, it is never enough . There is always something else that has to be done or I am behind on. I know a lot of that is bc of my drinking. Even though I hide my drinking, or try to - I know it still slows me down. obviously. But, I drank so I could keep on going, keep on working, keep on getting things done- without it affecting me to much.

Hard to write that. Wish I could make it sound better. I know it's no excuse and Im not looking for one. Just being honest. Committed to facing the music tonight.

Not gonna do it ....
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Old 10-09-2017, 12:37 PM
  # 233 (permalink)  
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Afternoon checkin. Feeling amazing, considering my recent restart, yet again...uggg! When will I ever get this right???

Cooking a pot roast for dinner. Walked the dogs. Going for a nice long walk after dinner. Feeling up and positive about this month!

Thanks all for the support, and advice, tips, etc. One can never have too much help, when facing addiction. I appreciate SR, and everyone here. So, Im making it a sober today.

No word yet on my nephew. I suppose when he gets out of jail, he will go back to the sober living home. Its awful how much addiction takes away from our lives.

Hope my class is staying strong. Luv to all.
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Old 10-09-2017, 12:40 PM
  # 234 (permalink)  
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Izzy, hang in there! Dont do it!!! We all know its not worth it, and its just the AV
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:26 PM
  # 235 (permalink)  
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My anxiety has been really rotten lately too. Looking forward to seeing a change with that the longer I'm away from alcohol. One thing that's bothering me...I've always had a slight aversion to driving over bridges, but the past year it's gotten REALLY bad, to the point where I go out of my way to avoid them. The one exception is the one near my house that I need to drive over in order to get to the beach, which I don't love but suck it up and white knuckle my way over it, but the other day I found I couldn't bring myself to drive over this bridge I've been using my whole life. I went a half hour out of my way so I wouldn't have to take it. :/

I've also been having these mini panic attacks when stopped at red lights at busy intersections. Very discouraging. I've read that regular drinking can elevate your base level anxiety, especially if you have an anxiety disorder like me. Maybe this is what's happened. I'd really just like it to stop.
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:36 PM
  # 236 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by izzy8 View Post
I want a drink. Bad. I want to beat this thing, too. I thought having a day off work would make it easier to focus on getting better. But being home with my family all day has been hard. I feel like no matter how much I do, it is never enough . There is always something else that has to be done or I am behind on. I know a lot of that is bc of my drinking. Even though I hide my drinking, or try to - I know it still slows me down. obviously. But, I drank so I could keep on going, keep on working, keep on getting things done- without it affecting me to much.

Hard to write that. Wish I could make it sound better. I know it's no excuse and Im not looking for one. Just being honest. Committed to facing the music tonight.

Not gonna do it ....
Hey Izzy. Just remember you will never regret not drinking, but you will regret letting AV call the shots. Sometimes we have to tough it out to build up those sober muscles. Good for you for posting. Stay strong tonight.
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:46 PM
  # 237 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by izzy8 View Post
I want a drink. Bad. I want to beat this thing, too. I thought having a day off work would make it easier to focus on getting better. But being home with my family all day has been hard. I feel like no matter how much I do, it is never enough . There is always something else that has to be done or I am behind on. I know a lot of that is bc of my drinking. Even though I hide my drinking, or try to - I know it still slows me down. obviously. But, I drank so I could keep on going, keep on working, keep on getting things done- without it affecting me to much.

Hard to write that. Wish I could make it sound better. I know it's no excuse and Im not looking for one. Just being honest. Committed to facing the music tonight.

Not gonna do it ....
You can do it! Glad you checked in. I know what you mean; oftentimes being home makes it harder when your mind starts racing. I think we all can relate to the sentiment of drinking keeping us going.

But, youíre here for a reason right? Maybe think about what the truth is in that. Sure you get the initial buzz to keep going, but I know I would often start out with those intentions and wind up too drunk to do anything besides pass out on the couch. ďIíll just have this one glass at 3pm to get motivatedĒ then of course you have to have another, then you start to feel good and it keeps on flowing. By 7 youíre 3 sheets to the wind and just say f** it Iíll do it tomorrow.

Then you find the next day, you were blacked out and couldnít remember what you wanted to do, or thought you had already done it. Or worse, had gotten out the phone and sent ridiculous texts or emails. Then the shame comes, and the feeling rotten physically and mentally. Canít focus on anything but how sick you feel. Maybe even puking out the door at red lights on the way to work. Sweaty and bloodshot eyes all day, that headache that just wonít leave. Either you take a swig in the morning of whatís left to try to make it through, then when that wears off and youíre so exhausted you canít see straight.

You swear you wonít drink again, then pick up a bottle on the way home just to feel normal again. Play your variation of the tape and realize how not worth it it all is.

Stay close and reach out if you need us!
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Old 10-09-2017, 03:24 PM
  # 238 (permalink)  
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izzy8 - I hear you, day 5 here, just got back from Canadian Thanksgiving with the family... Lots to do, long day tomorrow, normally I'd hit the bottle to take the edge off and dumb myself down so I'd stop thinking. I am not going to do it; there is nothing I *NEED* to do or life won't go on except not have a damned drink, so I am going to eat dinner despite not being hungry, then I am going to take a bath and read a book. A good night's sleep will help with the stress more than drinking. Hang in there.
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Old 10-09-2017, 04:25 PM
  # 239 (permalink)  
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Back again

Hey everybody. Hoping to join this class. I've been really struggling lately. I've joined classes here several times before. I'm still trying to lick this. Things have been really out of control lately. So tired of not feeling good emotionally, mentally and physically. I'm at Day 1. I am feeling terrible. Feeling terrible about myself, embarrassed, just plain lost. A few months back I made it 25 days. I felt great! Clear headed, healthy but I feel for the voice in my head that said "you've been doing great! You can have 1", yeah right. Been off kilter since then. Well, I'm not going to give up this fight.
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Old 10-09-2017, 04:40 PM
  # 240 (permalink)  
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Hi, all. Checking in here on Day 2. Welcome to all our new classmates. Izzy, you got this....hang in there. Eat a big meal. Get some fresh air. Go to bed. That is my plan. Charliesworld, great advice and perspective. I am saving it.

Good day here. I made a plan and have stuck to it. Got up early and did some reading and meditation....prepped my healthy lunch for work and intentionally left work early so I could make it to the gym. I prioritized MY time over others.....something I am absolutley terrible at. Need to do more of that. Came home and had a big salad, and now going to stay close to SR and catch up on posts.

Good work everyone. BC.
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