All in all, Rome wasn't built in a day, eh? kk1k5x accountability thread - Page 12 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-17-2020, 03:21 PM   #221 (permalink)
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I understand being disappointed and frustrated - totally human
Hope day 250 is a better day for you

D
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Old 01-18-2020, 11:53 AM   #222 (permalink)
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Day 250 is a milestone, congratulations kk!
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Old 01-18-2020, 12:13 PM   #223 (permalink)
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Big congrats, kk.

Moods. Emotions. Bah.

I get it though. Some days there are just too many feels and too many hours to feel them! Hope today was better.
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Old 01-18-2020, 01:36 PM   #224 (permalink)
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Thanks.

I have nothing to say tonight. I'm just ******* tired from this translation quagmire and no-where near my set goals so bully for me.

End of Day 250. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-18-2020, 05:37 PM   #225 (permalink)
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250 is an achievement. Don't forget to congratulate yourself on that kk1k

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Old 01-19-2020, 02:55 PM   #226 (permalink)
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Truth be told, I didn't really notice that it was day 250 or that I ought to consider it a milestone. I figured the next one would be 9 months.

But anyways, I'm not sure whether this is due to previously developed numbness or today was actually easier, but today seemed easier. I slept for a very long time, woke up only at noon and started work at 1 pm. Now it's pushing midnight again and I've finished 2 out of the 3 scheduled translations and did a page from the last one, too.

For the second night in a row, my only prize at the end of the night is the possibility that maybe my bball team won their game last night. Kinda deja vu.

Tomorrow will see me working for the entire day again. After that I've decided that I'm taking a break and won't accept work for a day or two. I've hit a wall and haven't really been able to deal with the manuscript at all.

I'm already dreaming of ...like a brisk walk maybe and then mashed potatoes and pork chops and salad and one of those cold cranberry and mineral water drinks I make. And then watching a movie. Or maybe I can read something.

Hey, 'only' 10 more pages until I can rest and sleep in without feeling guilty for it. Woop.

End of Day 251. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-20-2020, 12:27 PM   #227 (permalink)
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Good luck with those 10 pages ok.
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:00 PM   #228 (permalink)
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Nearly forgot to punch in today. I ended up doing 14 pages (my personal record) today.

There's 4 more for tomorrow, but then I'm seriously out because my eyes are REALLY feeling it now.

My current state, for some reason, reminds of that state a person is in when they started drinking at lunch, drank heavily but then at around 2 or 3 pm had to stop abruptly but could not go to sleep etc (well, a choice personal example would be - some type of task came in or I 'suddenly remembered' sth I had to do). Then that slow and excruciating process of sobering up whilst awake begins. By bed time, the state I would reach in those circumstances was a sort of 'non-state'. A non-state in the sense that I was neither fully in this world or entirely out of it.

In brief, I am super tired, I've done a lot today, I almost forgot to do my entry and I still have 4 pages for tomorrow, but then I will actually put a temporary stop to it. I need to rest and just chill out for a day.

I figured I'll actually take the entire next week off. First, I can't get any writing done while more and more translations pour in every day (it has so far, at least) and I just need a 'me' day somewhere in the middle there, because the manuscript writing ain't a vacation either lol. The mornings and evenings are becoming too similar. The eye strain, the mild headache, the buzz in my back and so on.

The last translation I did had a deadline of 1pm tomorrow - which means I'll defo be sleeping in.

Okay, I'm out.

End of Day 252. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:53 AM   #229 (permalink)
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I don't know how to say this without it sounding judgemental, Kk, but as I'm saying it out of concern, I'll say it anyway. Kk, do you have any type of exercise factored into your time blocks?
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Old 01-21-2020, 01:07 PM   #230 (permalink)
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No I don't. I tend to get consumed by work (and I don't really use the blocks here, it's been so constant).

I finished my work today. Got offered some more but respectfully declined.

I am taking the entire next week off to write. In the end of Feb I'm going to a spa/conference place for 3 days (writing camp/gathering). Although external students don't get funding, my sup made the offer out of the blue and decided to use some 'leftovers' as she called them to cover my expenses if I decided I want to go. I can't help but wonder how I got so lucky with my sup - not because of these offers etc but because she's a cool person, and open, and super smart. This means I get an all expenses covered 3 day stay at a spa with smart people and the only obligation is to spend 80% of the day doing what I love most: writing. Talk about luck...

My invoice this week is going to be the largest I've seen since starting translations.

And my basketball team won. Twice.

End of Day 253. I did not drink today.

​​​​​
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Old 01-22-2020, 02:18 PM   #231 (permalink)
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A solid day off. Good healthy meals and enough rest and 'me' time.

Got some writing and reading done. Looking forward to next week to get the manuscript done. There's always some anxiety with these, because you're not sure how it's going to go before you're in the thick of it. Once you are, then the forward motion keeps you going until you finish the thing.

I liked today. Got to do my own stuff for a change but also have 9.5 pages lined up for tomorrow. I needed the rest to get myself back in the right headspace. Now I'm looking forward to a productive weekend and hope more translations come in before it's done. Anything up to Monday lunchtime would be greenlighted. After that, writing time.

Hope everyone's having a good week. Finished watching a movie called Just Mercy. Really good and thought-provoking.

End of Day 254. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-22-2020, 02:45 PM   #232 (permalink)
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I'm glad you liked today

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Old 01-23-2020, 09:46 AM   #233 (permalink)
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Well done on the large invoice kk! I enjoy sending those out too.
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Old 01-23-2020, 01:24 PM   #234 (permalink)
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Yep Sao, I think tomorrow is going to be cool in that sense. Not sure how the final thing went or what the final page count of it will be, but there's a chance I'll hit 50 pages this week.

Long day behind me, got some white chocolate and a good rice dish (with mushrooms, bell peppers, onion, garlic and smoked chicken) in me. Ready to watch bball and relax.

Hope everyone is enjoying their day/evening/morning.

End of Day 255. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-24-2020, 05:17 AM   #235 (permalink)
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Yum, what a delicious and nutritious rice dish you ate. Sounding very positive indeed in Kk land.
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Old 01-24-2020, 02:19 PM   #236 (permalink)
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That's true Tatsy

The invoice was for a bit more than 50 pages. Yay for small accomplishments!

Today was kind of quiet. A managed to move forward with my research idea and fill in some gaps. Actually, when I introduced a kind of change/addition to the original concept, my professor's reaction was "wow, you can really generate some cool ideas! Honestly!". Which means I was able to, once again, send my ego to walk it off and just kept working on the idea.

I was expecting more work for the weekend, but I only got about 8-9 pages. I guess next week is going to be a bit slim then. Meh, it's going to be alright either way with this week's earnings and I will also get my manuscript done, so I don't think I'll be losing out on much. Just trying to create some balance to keep both endeavours going at a good pace.

Now I'm settling in to watch another high rating movie called "Dark Waters". Earlier I finished watching Killer: Inside the Mind of Aaron Hernandez. Have to admit, Netflix has released some good documentaries. The Hernandez one (about an American football player) was definitely eerie, especially to watch the double life he led. Found myself thinking again and again how much the environment and traumatic events in our lives shape who we are and also how we are as who we are.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

End of Day 256. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-25-2020, 10:29 AM   #237 (permalink)
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Good luck with your research kk. I have just read an article about Professor Claudia de Rham and how her theory that things called gravitons have mass. (they were previously assumed to be without mass) This would adjust Einstein's theory of relativity and would be a big deal in the scientific world.

I have not seen the documentary but Aaron Hernandez was certainly a highly disturbed individual.
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Old 01-25-2020, 10:45 AM   #238 (permalink)
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I definitely recommend the documentary.

Managed to do a little bit of work today, about 5 pages. But it seems that's it for the weekend, though.

Now I'm ready to watch some basketball again. I was really motivated in the morning (because I read the research stuff deep into the night), but as I did my work, it slowly faded. So now I'm going to put 'pen to paper' tomorrow and hopefully spend the entire day working on building certain parts of the manuscript.

Hope everyone's weekend started off fine.

End of Day 257. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-26-2020, 09:42 AM   #239 (permalink)
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Managed some writing today, but didn't really feel like I got into that groove properly. Some interesting reading though and what I did write, is solid I think.

Here's to a more productive tomorrow. I'm sure the 3 Feb deadline panic monster will soon start making sounds and that's when the writing REALLY kicks off (if it hasn't already by that point).

And I'm having ribs in about 30 mins :P So that effectively concludes my day

End of Day 258. I did not drink today.
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Old 01-26-2020, 02:17 PM   #240 (permalink)
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Kk, I cooked ribs for dinner this evening, too, in a sticky barbecue type sauce. I don't mind saying my cooking skills surpassed my usual level, and they were rib-smacking scrumptious!

Oh yes, the panic monster is stirring in Tasty-Land, I have paperwork to analyse, decisions to make, and then paperwork to complete based upon the decisions, by 1st February. And I don't have a clue how to decide between the options; having said that, I always seem to make the wrong decisions, so perhaps I should just choose the most ridiculous and outlandish. Yuck.
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